Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I came to an uncomfortable conclusion last night. My dog worships me. Just look at the evidence. When I am sitting at the computer he lies my my feet, making sure I don't go anywhere without him knowing. He follows me everywhere I go. I go the kitchen and he is on my heels. I go to the bathroom and he comes in looking for me. I grab his leash and he heads for the door, ready to follow wherever I will lead him. The neighbors tell me that when I am gone they hear him howling in distress, uncertain what to do without me. The clincher came last night. My son Will and I went to get some Chinese for dinner while Marilyn hung out at home. She told me later that the entire time I was gone he howled and laid on the bed starring out the window, waiting for my return. I just have to face the facts. Conner the Dog worships me, unworthy as I am.
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized what a great example of true worship it is! I want to feel that way about Jesus every single day. I want to long to know where he will take me next. I want to follow him everywhere he wants to lead me. I want to feel the need to be in his presence so strongly that when I feel like I have wandered away (because if we feel separated from God, it is us who moved) I howl with grief, hoping he will hear my cries and come rescue me yet again. I want to be constantly vigilant, following him in the here and now and waiting for the glory of his return. This is what true worship is- giving ourselves completely to the One we worship. I want to be like that. Jesus invites us all, with all of our faults and failures and blemishes, to come follow him. It is a come just as we are invitation, but it comes with a price- that we take up our cross and follow him no matter what. I realize now that Conner is not only a faithful dog, he is a walking object lesson. I want to need Jesus so bad that is hurts. LORD, I want to howl for you. I hope you will all join me.
Because of Jesus,