Here's To Good Friends...

Happy birthday, Beth! We love you SOOO much!!!

In 1972 I was in the 8th grade. This was before personal computers but after the Apollo 11 moon landing and the world was very different place. That year, a singular event changed the trajectory of my life in a bigger way than anything that happened to me before...or since. There have been more important events to be sure, such as getting married and seeing my son born. But nothing had more of an impact on who I am at age 55 than that one fateful day in 1972. And what happened, you ask? I went roller skating...

My friend Steve Semmler had been inviting me to join him for youth group at New Garden Friends Meeting for a while, but rollerskating sounded fun and Becky Meredith was going to be there- so I was IN! That invitation and that event led me becoming involved with a group of people who carried and guided each other through high school and the years that followed. These were quite literally the people who "showed me the way" in life, in faith and in love. As we grew older the group expanded and changed, with friends of friends becoming so intertwined in our "gang" that it felt as if they had always been there. We continued to meet together, eat together and even take trips together until the early 1990s, by which time so many of my friends had children that it became a little complicated to plan such things. We have remained in touch over the years- some more that others- but time and distance did seem to separate us. Living in Florida while most live in NC, and with all that has happened in my life over the past 20+ years, the distance often felt real to me. And then 2015 happened.

Steve called me from his home in Ohio with a proposition. He, his brother Carl, myself and our spouses would rent a 3 bedroom condo at Ocean Isle Beach, NC- not far from where our friends Beth and Bob owned one. We would then put the word out to the rest of our old youth group and other friends that were going and invite them to join us. Steve booked 2 condos instead of one, and we were off and running. We set September 9-13 as the dates. I built a Facebook page to get the word out. Our former youth leader, Rob, stepped in and offered to offset the cost for everyone. And before we knew it, some 43 years after our first adventure together, about 15 of us were getting ready to do it again. The excitement was palpable. 

But that wasn't the only emotion at work in us. One of our own, the sweet, energetic, feisty and lovely Lisa Ramos Moran, is battling pancreatic cancer. We weren't sure if she would survive until September, much less be able to join us, and some of the air came out of the balloon. There were many texts and phone calls, many prayers and many tears as we worried about Lisa and her family. By late August most of us assumed she wouldn't be able to make the trip as she was confined to a hospital. But our old gang remained united in hope.

One week ago today we took that trip. Very seldom in life can an event with such high expectations actually surpass them, but this one did. We still love each other. We still make each other laugh hysterically. We still enjoy just BEING together. Being at the beach always makes life a bit more special, and the fact that Lisa and her hubby Dan were able to join us for Friday night made it a blessing beyond words. All-in-all, there were 21 of us who were a part of the adventure. The people in the picture at the top were all part of a youth group (along with others who were missing) at a small Quaker church over 40 years ago, and they are still a huge part of each other's lives. That is rare, and it is significant. 

In many ways it is amazing that we stay in touch and all took the time needed to pull off something like this. What is even more amazing is how much we still sincerely love each other. The last night there was lengthy discussion about how often we should try to do a "reunion," with some saying every 5 years, others saying 3 and others every other year. Tammy cut to the chase. She said we need to do it every year, and I backed her up. When others asked why, we simply pointed to our friend Lisa. We are not promised tomorrow, much less 5 years. No one argued. And now, this morning, word reaches us that Lisa has taken a turn for the worse. We may see each other soon under very different circumstances. But as always, the love we share will sustain us.

Life has been tough lately. But more than ever I understand the words of the late Warren Zevon when David Letterman asked what he had learned about life while knowing he was dying- "Enjoy every sandwich." Prayers please, for Lisa, Dan and their family. And for all of us.

Because of Jesus,

7 Things: Growing Up In Youth Group

If you've followed this blog from its inception then you know these stories and have seen all of these names before. Lately they have taken on added significance to me, and so today you hear them again. Much of my time here is spent telling stories of my days as a youth pastor, but I would have never become a youth pastor without my own youth group experience as a teenager. Between 8th grade and the end of high school (1972-77) I was a part of a very special youth ministry at New Garden Friends Meeting. You can read about how that happened in the 2nd post ever made here, called Beginnings. Today is about some of the great people and few of the random events that still stick out in my mind some 40 years later. There are so many memories. Here are 7 of the best...

Becky, Tammy, Lisa & Beth

1)  Our group was never huge, but we did have a fairly large group of people who passed through during those years. My best friends were Steve & Carl Semmler, Beth Vestal, Tammy Doggett, Becky Meredith, Lisa (Ram-It!) Ramos, Tim Vail, Andy Maynard and Martha Ratledge- but there were so many more who made that group special. We were blessed to know them, and Julie Oden, Jeff Vestal, Melissa Meredith, Roy Parkhurst, Jane Reynolds, Joe Willlingham, MaryLynne Burris, the Ossman family and more were all part of the fun. We also had incredible leadership from the Guilford College students who served as our part-time youth pastors- David Brown III, Beth Phillips, Rob Mitchell, Barb Brown and Louise Critz. They all made an impact on my life.
2)  There was this kid named Gurney Kaufman who was also part of the group early on in my time there. On one of my first trips with the group, to Camp Pla-Mor in Myrtle Beach, Gurney shot bottle rockets at unsuspecting civilians and threw a smoke bomb in Jeff Vestal's shower stall. Somehow he was still alive when we returned home.
3)  For reasons I do not remember, at some point DB3 had us making up our own musical version of Julius Caesar, set in Rome, GA. We all used our worst southern accents to say lines like, "Tis I, the sooth sayer!  And the sooth sayer say...Beware the Ides of March!"  At some point a couple of us had a scene where we skipped long singing, "Hanes makes me feel good all under..."  Thank God that there is no video of any of that...
4)  Every autumn we would go up into the mountains and spend a few nights at Sam Levering's apple orchards, just hanging out under the stars together. Those were amazing times. If I recall correctly, the evenings usually ended with us guys giving some of the girls back rubs, with a promise of reciprocation. I am pretty certain I am still owed a TON of back rubs...
5) In addition to Sam's Place, Myrtle Beach and Quaker Lake, a number of us went with a group to New York in November of 1976. I remember 2 things about that trip. One, while we were there the Guyana Jonestown Massacre (in which cult leader Jim Jones poisoned hundreds of his followers with Kool-Aid) took place, and was a major item of concern at the United Nations. Secondly, Lisa Ramos and Dan Moran met for the first time. They are still married today.
6)  Roy Parkhurst had a friend named Annette Wells (I think?) who had an absolutely beautiful singing voice and wrote a haunting song about a female race horse named Ruffian who broke a leg and had to be put down. Always wondered what happened to her...
7)  That group taught me great games like Sardines, Secret Documents and Kick-the-Can (in the Graveyard!) from my days in the New Garden youth group. I learned to play guitar from Martha, Rob and Steve. I learned to hold doors (and many other good manners) from Beth, Becky and Tammy. I learned how to be both youth pastor and friend to students from DB3 and Rob. I understood how to make bible study and programs fun and educational because I saw it modeled every week- by college students who were paid next to nothing for their work. The life-lessons were many, and the teachers were the best.

There are so many stories to tell. The night we carried a sleeping Carl Semmler out of a cabin at QLC without waking him up. The afternoon at Sam's when Becky was sleep talking about saving a tree. The New Year's Eve square dances and our wild, very sweaty rendition of the Virginia Reel. So many memories. Outside of my parents, nothing had more impact on my life in those important years than the youth group of New Garden Friends Meeting.  I thank God everyday that they are still such an important part of my life. Love you guys.

Because of Jesus,

You Are My Sunshine

I am a very blessed man in many ways, but perhaps the greatest blessing in my life has been the gift of friendship. My old friends are plentiful and wonderful. There are friends from my own youth group days at New Garden Friends Meeting who should have given up on me years ago- but didn't! I have high school and college friends who are still part of my life. My days at Quaker Lake Camp connected me with campers and staff who have stayed in my life as we have all grown up- or at least pretended to! My work at various churches left me with dozens of adult friends and hundreds of former youth who are now adults, many of whom are still a very active and important part of my life. My dear friend Lisa is one of the lights of my life. And Marilyn and Will are not only family, they are my friends- the best and strongest kind. Old friends are the best!

Over the past few days this has become more apparent than ever to me as several old friends who had been absent from my life for a while reappeared with a wonderful flurry of activity. It was so great to have them back; but it was also like they had never been gone. That's how it is with old friends. They can move in and out of our lives seamlessly without truly losing the connection we share. It is such a great gift. 

But regretfully, there are partings along the way. There are people we lose track of, either for short periods of time or because life leads us in different directions. Saying goodbye is never easy. Letting go is often hard. Back in 1982 I was working at QLC and thinking a lot about saying goodbye to a wonderful group of high school campers (one of whom gave me the mug pictured at top) that I didn't know if I would ever see again. At that time I wrote a song that was never sung in public. It began and ended with the chorus of the old standard, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away." Last night I found myself humming that, and suddenly the words I wrote back in '82 were fresh in my mind. I share some of them here today- my ode to old friends.

People come and people go through a life like mine

You never know just who you can count on

But whenever I reach out for you you always seem to hear me

And you take time to shine your light my way

The thought had never crossed my mind that I could lose you

'Cause I don't think I could ever let you go

But now I see that we could have to say goodbye and mean it

The pain is real and it just won't go away

CHORUS: I wish that I could find the words

To say how much I love you

I wish that I could know that this really isn't the end

There must be 1000 ways to explain the things that I'm feeling

And to let you know that you'll always have a friend...

I know I've sometimes let you down, I know I've sometimes failed you

But you have always loved me anyway

We've shared some special moments and some special people

I just won't believe that our time has come to an end

But the time will come again when we will walk this trail together

It's part of our past, but yet it takes us home

And even if the sunshine becomes just the flicker of a candle

It still gives us hope that we'll never be alone!

Old songs are much like old friends. They take us back to times of joys and sorrow, times of jubilation and frustration. And they remind us that we are loved. Sometimes we misplace them, but real friends are never really lost to us. Where there is love, there is always hope. My old friends- the ones still present in my life and the ones I have misplaced- are indeed my sunshine. They give me courage, hope, love and support when skies are gray and when the sun is brightest. I hope they know how much I love them. And I thank God every day for never "taking my sunshine away." Have a blessed day, dear ones!

Throwback Thursday: Marathons & Sardines

The last five days featured what I believe to be the 5 best consecutive days of blogging ever to appear on this site. But they were also (for the most part) very serious in nature. So for this Throwback Thursday we need a palate cleanser. We need a

Scripture tells us "Raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." It is so true that the things we learn early on in any endeavour do tend to stay with us. I found this to be true in youth ministry as well. Today I want to talk about a couple of things I learned early on that stayed with me until my days of student ministry were over.

New Garden Friends Meeting, like almost every other youth group we knew about in the 70's, had "lock-ins." You know the event- kids come to the church, stay up late, sneak around and find places to be alone, get cranky and finally fall asleep. I have very few memories of this as a youth, but as a youth leader they were things to be feared! I didn't mind the lack of sleep- I hated playing guard dog trying to keep kids in areas of the church they were actually allowed to be in! So as I gained some experience, the event began to morph into what we called a Marathon. The difference was subtle but very important. There would be no sleep. We would plan events for the entire night, including energetic games at the earliest hours of the morning. Where "lock-ins" had been torture for me, I LOVED Marathons! I was challenged to be at my most creative, and the excitement level for the students went through the roof. As I progressed through the years, the Marathon morphed into Rec Around the Clock (a name I stole from the great Tom Klaus) and the stakes went way up! Now not only did we stay up all night, we were OUT of the church for the vast majority of the night! We went bowling at 2 am; ice skating at 5 am; played laser tag at 4 am; saw movies, played putt-putt, went to laser light shows and always finished with a breakfast. Rec Around the Clock became the single biggest event of the summer by the time I hit Kissimmee, including a guest appearance by Lost And Found. I never tired of these events, and the memories are many.

The different ministries I served over the years had many differences, but they all had one thing in common. They all played Sardines. For some, it was a game we played on rare occasions. For others. it was an obsession (the youth at Springfield Friends Meeting and Wesley Memorial UMC were especially talented)! For the uninitiated, Sardines is a hide-and-seek game. Two people go hide, and they everyone looks for them in pairs. When you find them, you hide with them, thus packing yourselves in like...wait for it...SARDINES! We learned this game from DB3 (David Brown the third) when I was 14 or so, and it was made all the more interesting by his stories of how it had been originally called "The Make-Out Game." As with all DB3 stories, you never knew if that was true, but it sure sounded good! After all, you played with a partner, in the dark, and tried to find hiding places where you would be alone for a long time (DB3 once told us about he and a girl hiding in a front loading washing machine at his boarding school- not sure I believed that one either!). Regardless of the make-out factor, it was a great game for scaring people in dark, spooky churches, and was getting more comfortable around the people you were with. You stick 30 youth under a desk, and you have togetherness!

Jim Rayburn, the founder of Young Life, once said "It is a sin to bore a student with the Gospel." One of the ways we tried to open the hearts and minds of our youth over the years was to find ways to make church fun. Did we sometimes go too far and plan events that were a bit too wild? Oh yes- on a regular basis! But I do believe by making church a place kids WANTED to be we were able to reach students with the Gospel who otherwise would have never heard it. Over the years we learned that parents would sometimes punish their children by grounding them from youth group. While I always found that a bit odd, if we could make it so special that it was punishment not to be there we were doing something right. And if that "something right" helped bring even one student to a relationship with Jesus the Christ, then I would do it all over again. Even the 2 am shopping cart demolition derby in the K-Mart parking lot...

If anyone has actually ever tried hiding in a washing machine, please let me know.

Because of Jesus,

Flashback Friday: "Have you got a match?"

Every April with the start of baseball season this story comes to mind and the horror is fresh all over again. I've shared it here before; it's here again today as a great Flashback Friday blast from the past. Enjoy!

In April of 1982 I was working at New Garden Friends Meeting, and we had some great things going on in the ministry. Lots of students were attending, Donna Haynes and I were exploring all kinds of new programs and events, and we had just claimed (not won, but claimed!) victory at the annual North Carolina Yearly Meeting Field Day at Quaker Lake. It was in this atmosphere of success that I planned a quick trip to Atlanta to see a Braves games for myself and a few of our high school guys. It would be a most memorable weekend.

There were signs all along the way that this would be an unusual event. First of all, the Braves, pitiful for so long, had begun the season with 13 straight wins, a major league record. We would see their 14th game. Since there were 6 of us going, my car was not large enough, so I borrowed a station wagon from some parents of the youth, Loy and Connie Newby. As we left Greensboro and began the trek down I-85, we were excited and loud, a regular car full of regular young men. Somewhere in South Carolina we found a radio station that was doing a unique event. It was a song challenge. They would play 2 songs to battle each other, and then a third song while people called in their votes. This being WAY before cell phones, we couldn't vote, but it was fun to listen. The winning song would then be give another competitor and played again. After a few rounds of this, the AC/DC song Highway to Hell became the champion. And then it won again. And again. And again! We soon grew sick of the song (it finally lost to the Beatles!) but we realized then and there this trip had a theme, and it was not a good one! Entering Georgia, we stopped at a truck stop for gas and several of us decided to try a Nehi Peach Soda, which may have been the most disgusting thing I have ever tried to drink, and remember, I was a youth pastor and was used to disgusting things! But finally, we arrived in Atlanta.

After checking in at our hotel, a Ramada Inn (I think) across from Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium, we headed over for the game. It was exciting to be there when the crowd was actually thinking the Braves could win. We settled in and watched as the Braves lost for the first time that year. Bob Horner hit a home run for the Braves, but I missed it while standing in line for food. More signs- but we still didn't see them. As we left the game it was still light out, so we decided to walk up and visit the golden dome of the Georgia state capitol building which was just up the street.

I should tell you a little about the group. Marshall Ratledge, later to become a Quaker Lake legend himself; Danny and Darek Newby (whose parents loaned me the car), who were both black belts in some sort of martial arts; Jimmy Hale, a golfer; Bruce Reynolds, football player and track star; and myself made up our merry band. We were all dressed in classic preppy, and we headed into downtown Atlanta on foot absolutely clueless of what we were about to encounter. As we started down the sidewalk we had came to a group of young men who were standing on corner, and smiled as we came to them. One of them stepped out and asked if we had a match. None of us were smokers, but we felt in our pockets and acted disappointed that we could not help out. We then continued on. We saw the dome, and were not impressed, so we started back to the hotel, now walking the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. As we reached the bridge over I-20 and started across, we began to hear voices yelling. We looked across the street, and it was our friends who wanted a match. I could here one of them yelling "6 on 6! Come on, 6 on 6!" In my coolest leader voice I said to the guys "just ignore them and keep walking." Then the first glass beer bottle hit near us and shattered, and, still being cool, I said "pick up the pace." As more more bottles hit, and finally a plastic flask full of liquor, I very calmly shouted "RUN!!!!" As we sprinted up the slight hill towards a stop light where a policeman was directing traffic, three very interesting things were happening. They had come to our side of the street, but weren't really chasing us. We were sprinting, and I was in FRONT, meaning I was out-running our track star Bruce! And finally, as I counted heads, I kept getting 5, when there were in fact 6 of us! I looked back to see that Darek was not running. He was very calmly walking behind us. When we all reached the corner, we hurried to tell the police officer the whole story. He just starred at me. After lecturing me for walking downtown in the early evening in a city where gangs ruled, he then cut to the chase. "A match" he informed us, "is gang talk for a fight. When they were yelling 6 on 6 they were calling you out. When you walked by them and checked your pockets for a real match, they took that as a sign of disrespect. Now go back to your hotel and DO NOT leave it again tonight!"  We did just that. After arriving in our rooms, we locked every lock we could find, and then began talking trash about how we could have beaten them...to ourselves, of course! We also began to question what good it was two have 2 black belts with us if they were not going to protect us. What could have been a real disaster turned into a memory I will never forget, and I suspect they won't either. I have been to Atlanta with groups many times since, and I never fail to tell the story of the night the 6 preppies almost got in a gang fight!

On the trip back we only had one major incident. We were filling the gas tank when the automatic shut off on the pump failed, and we pumped a few gallons of gas all over the car and the parking lot. All in all, we survived the "highway to hell" and lived to tell about it. And as with many other youth trips over the years, this shared history became a cornerstone of our relationships.  And our relationships with each other lead to a better understanding of our relationship with God.

I suppose there should be a moral to this story, so here it is: NEVER drink Nehi Peach Soda!


Because of Jesus,

The Greatest College Basketball Team You Never Saw



I grew up in North Carolina in the 1960's and 70's, and it is not an overstatement to say that college basketball was a religion. The ACC Tournament was the high holy season. And I was a fully-devoted follower. I was (and still am) first and foremost a fan of the UNC Tar Heels (who open NCAA play today). But that is not the basketball story I want to tell you today. I lived about a mile from Guilford College, a small (about 1100 students at the time) but prestigious Quaker college. I attended New Garden Friends Meeting (and would later work there) in the early 70's, which was across the street from the Guilford campus. Occasionally on Sunday afternoons we would use our connections to get access to Alumni Gym (original name, huh?) and shoot some hoops. We would occasionally run into some of the players from the college. During the 1972-73 season, we shared that tiny gym with one of the best basketball teams of which you have never heard. The Guilford College Quakers had been to NAIA (small college) tournaments a couple of times, but it just seemed from the very beginning of the season that this team was special. Every game was an event, and I went to as many as I could. Alumni Gym (its nickname was "The Crackerbox") probably held 700 people, and there had to be 1000 packed in for each game. The noise was deafening. Opponents rarely had a chance in Alumni.



Coach Jack Jensen had assembled an amazing collection of talent and roll players. M.L. Carr (later of the Boston Celtics championship teams in the early 80's), Ray Massengill and beefy ex-Marine Steve Hankins (who had been a pallbearer at RFK's funeral) provided the size. Teddy East was one of the best defensive players I ever saw. Every game he would simply shut down the other teams's top scorer. Greg Jackson was a true point guard who could also jump out of the building; he had a 48" vertical leap (True story- one Sunday afternoon some friends went to the gym and found Jackson and Carr shooting around. They were debating just how high Greg could jump. Several of them witnessed as the 6'0" tall Jackson touched the TOP of the backboard! Rumor had it that he could actually take a quarter off the top, and I never doubted it. Another rumor said he could take one and leave one on the same jump. That's a bit more iffy...). The top 2 subs were freshmen Johnny Ralls and Robert Kent, both of whom graduated from what would the very next year be my high school- Western Guilford. Johnny's dad was my dentist. The final piece to the puzzle was a freshman guard from Brooklyn named Lloyd Free. He could (and did!) shoot from anywhere. He was in range as soon as he crossed half-court. And he too could jump out of the building. He later changed his name to World B. Free and was an NBA all-star with two different teams. Jackson also played in the NBA with the Phoenix Suns. This team was so good we actually had legitimate arguments about whether or not they could have won the ACC that year. For a school with an enrollment of just over 1000, this was an amazing team.

Despite the fact that UNC was already a mini-dynasty and that N.C. State had David Thompson, Tommy Burleson and Monte Towe leading them to an undefeated season that year and a national championship the next, our little community was obsessed with Guilford College basketball. They won the Carolina's Conference championship (no easy feat in 1973- almost every school had a future NBA player) and then advanced to Kansas City for the NAIA national tournament. They were unseeded, but we expected them to win it all. To do so, they had to win 5 games in 6 days. This being way before the days of cable TV and ESPN, we listened to every minute of every game on the local AM radio station, 1320-WCOG. This included hiding in bed with a transistor radio way after bedtime or listening with an earphone while in class. It was around 11 PM Greensboro time when they finally won it all, and all around the neighborhood car horns were blowing and lights were flashing. Our guys were national champions!!! National champs, with three future NBA players, a future NBA coach & General Manager (M.L.) and a future league scoring leader (Free). Hankins and Kent both went on to very successful careers as high school coaches. Today, with talent so spread out, that team would be one of the best 10 college teams in the country at ANY level. I promise you that they were the best team that you never saw. But I did- and I will never forget them.

They were indeed a great team, and unlike with big universities and schools that are on TV all the time, they were very much OUR team in the community of Guilford College. I'll share one final memory. Just a few weeks later my connection to the team got one last unexpected boost. My Dad had gone back to Guilford after nearly 15 years to finish his degree, and was taking Anatomy and Physiology. One Saturday afternoon he and his lab partner dissected a cat on our screened-in porch. That lab partner? M.L. Carr (pictured above). Thanks for reliving with me the best March Madness of my life. 

Flashback Friday: The Other Carl

Welcome to another Flashback Friday. The group of people in this picture have been on my mind a lot lately, so this is a very natural flashback. It's good to have you along for the ride...

Those of you who are familiar with this blog will be aware of the name Carl Semmler (at right with a bunch of other famous people- he's the groom!). Carl and I grew up going to school together and he worked as a lifeguard at Quaker Lake Camp for several summers when I was also on staff. But most importantly he, Alan Brown and I took a month long cross country trip in May of 1979. He has been featured in several stories here previously, including his work on the infamous Project Myrtle and the legend of the Ash Tray Kid. Today I want to remember a few more.

When we were in high school our New Garden Friends youth group attended a gathering of local Quaker youth groups called a Quarterly Meeting. We knew almost no one else there, and realized quickly that some of the other groups were a good bit more "religious" than we were. After some gathering time, we were seated in a circle, with the groups sitting together. The leader said we were going to go around the circle and introduce ourselves, and from where they started there were maybe 7 or 8 youth who would go before our first representative, Carl. The first person began by telling their name, church and the exact day and time they had been "saved." This was not a word we had in our spiritual vocabulary. We talked about "walking in the Light" and being on a "spiritual journey," not about THE day we met Jesus. As each person followed the same pattern, we grew more uncomfortable and wondered what Carl would say. When his turn arrived, he kept it simple: "I'm Carl Semmler from New Garden, and I play basketball." The pressure was immediately off the rest of us, and we were very grateful to Carl for his courage to say only what he knew to be true at the time.

Carl was a master prank player at QLC (although he and Mark Farlow were the recipients of maybe the greatest prank ever, when the Dentiste twins and Emily Ballus went in their room in the lodge and stringed it, making it look like one of those laser systems thieves have to avoid in the movies. They then put molasses on the string and hung extremely stinky lake weed all over the room. It was a classic!). One summer Carl had decided to try a nasty and daring prank on one of the female staff members who used a shampoo that was dark and gooey- much like pancake syrup! He thought he would replace her shampoo with syrup and see what would happen. Unfortunately for Carl, this was the summer the "no wasteful pranks" rules went into effect, so he could not use syrup. He spent all summer trying to make his own, boiling down tree bark to get sap and hoping for a miracle. He did not get one, but he did manage to ruin a perfectly good pot from the kitchen in the process. Ah, what might have been...

Carl, Alan and I began our trip out west by leaving Greensboro for Chattanooga and Carl's Uncle Ronnie's house. We left in my Dad's Honda Civic wagon that we called Clyde, and we were loaded down with camping gear, luggage and a tin of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies given to us by Martha Ratledge. For reasons I no longer remember, we went from NC to TN by way of Atlanta. We hit Atlanta around afternoon rush hour, and Alan was driving while Carl was asleep in the back seat. He awoke to find us in the middle of a traffic jam, and greeted us with the following words: "No rush guys, but I need to find a bathroom." Less than a minute later he was throwing up all over the back seat. Desperate for damage control, I dumped some (but not all) Martha's cookies on the floor and handed him the tin to barf in- but it was no use. We finally worked our way off of the interstate and to a gas station, where we cleaned up the car- but the smell was unbearable. The first day of a month long trip and Carl had totaled the interior of Clyde. Lacking anything else (and apparently common sense as well) we used my Gillette Foamy Lemon-Lime shaving creme on the vinyl seats to try and mask the smell. The result was a smell never before or since found in this world or any other. We made it to Chattanooga and begged Uncle Ronnie to keep Carl, but he refused, and so we carried on without further incident. In fairness to Carl (and Alan) it should be pointed out that there was also a time on that trip when they saved my life. I was trapped in Clyde by a demonic windshield wiper as the car burned and we teetered on the edge of the Grand Canyon. Or at least that's their story...

My life- and therefore this blog- has been filled with extraordinary people. Carl Semmler is one of those them...even if he did make us waste some perfectly good cookies! Thanks for the memories, Carl!

Because of Jesus,

Communion Confusion

Youth Ministry is often about being bold and taking chances, and certainly over the years I did my share of both. One of the boldest things I ever did took place at New Garden Friends Meeting on a Youth Sunday in 1982, and I want to tell you the story. But first, a history lesson!

The Society of Friends (Quakers) began in Great Britain in the 1650's as a movement away from the Church of England. George Fox (often called the founder of Quakerism- truth is, he had no intention of founding anything! He, like John Wesley and others, just wanted the Anglican Church to get off its collective butt!) had an astounding revelation one day- that he didn't need all the pomp and traditions of the church to connect to Jesus. He could go straight to the source. His defining statement said that he realized that "there is One- even Christ Jesus- who can speak to my condition." As he began to "walk cheerfully about the world, answering to that of God in everyone" people began to follow him, and eventually the Society of Friends was born. In response to the lifelessness they saw in the established church they went in a radical new direction. All people were to be ministers, because everyone has access to Jesus- which also means that all people are equal. They eschewed many of the traditions of the church, including the sacraments, because in their eyes they had become meaningless rituals administered by corrupt clergy. They came to believe that Christianity is a life you live, not a creed you profess. So to bring you up to speed quickly, they were arrested in large numbers, brought before judges, trembled in the presence of God and got nicknamed Quakers (as an insult at first) because of that, escaped to the new world for religious freedom, were hung in Boston Commons for practicing religious freedom, founded Pennsylvania, made some oatmeal and are still around today, though not in very large numbers (As an aside, there was once a group on Facebook called I Bet I Can Find 1,000,000 Quakers on Facebook. Take that bet! There are not a million Quakers in the world, much less on Facebook. But I digress...). Whew!

Quakers did not just randomly do away with baptism and communion. Today many longtime Friends will tell you that "Quakers don't believe in those things." That would be wrong. The belief is that when Jesus broke the bread and passed the cup in the Upper Room and said "every time you do this, think of Me" the intent was not to establish a ritual, but rather for us to think of Him every time we gather, every time we eat. We should be constantly in communion with Christ. It's called Communion after the manner of Friends, and it is often a period of quiet meditation and prayer. With baptism, John the Baptizer said "I baptize with water, but One comes who will baptize you with the Holy Spirit." Again, the idea is that the water is an outward symbol of an inward act. It's not about being sprinkled or dunked; it's all about Jesus! This is not to say Quakers have it right. I just wanted you to understand so my story can be more dramatic!

So it's a Youth Sunday in 1982, and I decide to do something outlandish. It seemed to me at the time (and still today, I might add) that NOT having communion like most of the Christian world had become our new ritual. Many Quakers could not explain why we didn't have it. Most thought the idea of passing the bread and the cup was somehow in violation of the creed of George Fox- and there is no creed of George Fox, a fact that has always caused considerable trouble among Friends. But with the support of our pastoral minister David Bills the youth decided to serve communion at New Garden, the last place you would expect it to happen. We explained why we were doing it. We were honoring our Quaker heritage. We were breaking out of a ritual. We were...well it just didn't matter, because many people were not happy about it. I caught lots of flack and even a bit of abuse. But it was sooooo worth it, because it opened a great discussion in the Meeting. And it helped establish one of my primary philosophies of student ministry- that the youth of the church are not just cute teenagers. We shouldn't just be happy that they show up, or that they will stand in front of the church and sing. Youth have something to say, and the church had better listen. I believed it then and I believe it even more today. And every church I served after that got that lecture...

The next time you are taking communion, remember what it means. Remember why you do it. And the next time you aren't "taking" communion in a Friends Meeting, remember why not. Remember that in both cases, it's all about what Jesus has done for us. In my humble opinion, if we do that, we can't be wrong. Even if you serve it to a Quaker youth group at Myrtle Beach and use OJ and Krispy Kreme doughnuts...and yes, I did that too!!!

Because of Jesus,

Flashback Friday: Do You Remember?

Happy New Year! I'm still recovering from the drive back from NC yesterday, so today we will celebrate the first Flashback Friday of 2015 with a vintage post asking anyone who was ever in one of my youth groups to read this post and answer this simple question: Do you remember? 

*  On my 28th birthday, someone put a giant sign in my yard at our little house across the street from Springfield Friends Meeting inviting the world to "honk." They did...over and over again! It made for quite a celebration. It's been over 27 years. Anyone ready to confess?

*  Do you remember Burger Doodle, our once a month trips from New Garden and Springfield to various fast food shacks for dinner after YFYF?

*  Remember playing 4 On A Couch?  Remember how the guys team never won?

*  Remember mud slides and the epic Counselor vs. Staff volleyball games at Quaker Lake Camp? And does anyone besides me remember the summer of 1983 and Phi Quaka Laka?

*  At some point during the FUMC-Kissimmee years a train carrying Wendy's supplies wrecked near town, and my friend Eddie (who worked for the train company) got us huge boxes of giant Wendy's cups. There were hundreds of those things...

*  Do you remember the day when the Wesley Memorial UMC youth group skipped our Sunday evening Graceland meeting and went to a local sports bar for dinner?

*  We had this Newsboys stand-up in the youth room at FUMC-K, and I am fairly certain I have pictures of 50 different youth in this very pose! Were you one of those youth? Obviously Catlin Esry was!

*  Remember when we used to play Kick the Can in the graveyards at New Garden and Springfield? I think there are rules against such things now...

*  Do you remember playing Sardines? How about Murder, the card game where if you got an "Ace" you winked at people to kill them? Both of those games go all the way back to my own high school years in youth group.

*  Over the years many of our students got to eat at Kyotos, in Greensboro, Orlando or Myrtle Beach. Did you ever go? And were you there the night in Orlando the chefs honored us with our signature rice?

*  Do you remember camping at the Ponderosa, staying at the Betsy B, spending a week at The Spinnaker or crashing at the Ocean Surf Club? If you do, you probably went to Myrtle Beach with me...

So there we go!  Which of those moments do you remember? It would be awesome to hear some of your memories and favorite moments from over the years, so leave comments or e-mail me at youthguy07@aol.com. Everyone who was part of those moments remains an important part of my life. What a blessing! 

Because of Jesus,

A Birthday Triple Play

Sometimes you can KNOW something for years without ever truly being AWARE of it. It is not new knowledge to me that three of my friends, from three different eras of my life, were born on September 10th. What had never really occurred to me, however, is that ALL three of them were born on September 10th. That makes this a much more special day than I had ever realized. It's a birthday triple play!

Lisa Ramos Moran has been in my life so long that I don't actually remember when we met. It was probably junior high school, but it could have been earlier and it may have been a bit later. Lisa became a part of the New Garden Friends Meeting youth group around the same time I did (1972), and we shared many friends and many adventures. Everyone who was part of that group has a special place in my heart, and Lisa is no different. We were together on a New York trip in high school when she met the love her life, Dan Moran. They have been married 30 years now and have an amazing family. She has given her life to ministry and the service of others and is making a huge difference in the lives of so many young people. Lisa and I shared one special bond in high school, one little tradition that has never been forgotten. Anytime we would see each other we offered up this loving greeting- I would say "RAM IT Ramos!" and she would respond, "JAM IT Jones!" Now that's love. Happy birthday, Lisa. For the next few weeks, you are as old as I am!

Leigh Ann Everhart Venable was a camper at Quaker Lake Camp my first summer as a counselor in 1978. The first thing I remember about Leigh Ann was seeing her in the swimming pool on Sunday afternoon and thinking to myself that she could not possibly be a camper- she looked too old. The second thing I remember was eavesdropping on a conversation she was having with Cynthia Davis about a party one of them had been to. So I was able to embarrass her right off the bat! We became good friends that week, even surviving a prank where my guys stole her suitcase and hid it in a corn field.That closeness continued when we mourned the loss of another camper in car wreck later that summer. She was later with me when I drove a van from NC to NYC and helped keep me calm in the madness. There was also a legendary 6 hour brain game on the way back- but I will spare her the humiliation of saying WHY it took so long! As the years passed, we remained friends, and eventually worked together on the QLC staff. For reasons that cannot be rationally explained she married my good friend Terry Venable 29 years ago and I was honored to be in their wedding just as Terry was later in ours. Shortly after we left Springfield Friends Meeting, Terry became the pastor there and Leigh Ann and I struck a deal. If I didn't tell anyone at SFM any stories about her, she wouldn't tell any about me. It was a pact we each gladly honored.  When anyone first met Leigh Ann back in those QLC days their immediate response was to comment on her beauty. Once you got to know her you realized that the beauty ran clear to the bone- and it still does. Happy birthday, Leigh Ann! And notice I am not mentioning any numbers...

Todd Willis was a junior in high school when Marilyn and I arrived in Kissimmee in 1994. He was the son of the senior pastor and an important part of that group. He immediately became one of my favorite people, despite accidently telling us to "GET OUTA TOWN!" on our third night in Florida. He cheated at every game we ever played; he had terrible luck with the ladies; and he was a leader in helping to bring that group back from the edge of extinction. When I was going to wait a tear before planning a New York trip, he pestered me to do in his senior year- and I did. His lovely wife Kristin has told me she feels like she was on that trip because she has heard his stories so many times. He visited us in Chicago right before his wedding. He has been a huge support to me through all of my trials, writing a beautiful letter for me that carried extra weight because he is an attorney. He and his family have recently moved back to Florida, and we cannot wait to hang with them again soon. Happy birthday, Todd! And don't cheat blowing out the candles...

Three wonderful people. Three birthdays. Three eras. Lisa and Leigh Ann know each other through Quaker circles, but neither of them know Todd. Celebrating with them reminds me how varied and blessed my life has been. And while they were part of my life at different times, we have a shared faith that binds us- and we'll always have New York! I am so blessed to know each of them. May this day be full of joy and blessings in their honor!!!

Because of Jesus,

30/30: Immeasurable Impact

Youth group beach trip, circa 1974. Steve is 2nd from left; I am far right.

Today the 30/30 Vision Blog Challenge offers the following prompt: Write about one person (NOT a family member) who has had an influence on your life. There are so many people, so many influences, so many possibilities. But after a few minutes of just sitting and thinking, the choice was easy. And it goes back a long, long time...

For about as long as I can remember I knew about this guy named Steve Semmler. We began going to school together in 1st grade, and even though we were never in the same class I knew of him. In the 4th grade I had his mom as a reading teacher and I heard stories about him quite often, but I still didn't really know him. In 6th grade we began having some classes together and we got along well. In 7th grade he ran for student body president and I ran for VP, and we talked about how cool it would be to run the school together. He won; I lost. But a friendship was born. In the 8th grade we had most all of our classes together, and along with Darryl Richards (Pee-Wee) really had our run of Guilford Middle School. Just as a quick example, the principal (Howard Cross) once pulled the 3 of us out of classes for an entire day so we could was the school activity bus. Things like that happened all the time. We began to hang out outside of school and discovered a shared love of "different" music (such as Hurricane Smith, Neil Diamond, Gilbert O'Sullivan and the Beach Boys) and mutual tastes in many things. As time went by his home became my second home and his family my second family. We shared dreams and struggles. I helped him sort through the plethora of females trying to gain his attention. Our families went to the beach together in later years. We were often inseparable. But there were 2 things he did in those earliest days- 2 very important things- that set Steve apart from the other great influences in my life. 

Sometime early in our 8th grade year (1972-73) Steve invited me to a roller skating night with his youth group at New Garden Friends Meeting. My family had quit going to church a number of years before and I had no real connection to any group. He told me lots of great things about the leaders and the people, but there was only one selling point needed. You see, there was this girl...  She would be there, and so I was going to be as well! That group and that place changed my life forever. They loved and supported me through high school and beyond and are still doing it today. My spiritual foundation was built there. My love of that group led directly to my own career in youth ministry. That invitation was the beginning of a new life for me that might otherwise have never happened. That invitation and that girl. We never dated, by the way...

In the summer after 7th grade Steve had invited me to go to summer camp with him at a place called Quaker Lake. I couldn't go because of baseball commitments, but when he asked again after 8th grade I was in, along with several other members of our youth group. If you have read this blog or know me even a little bit, you know what Quaker Lake means to me. My years a a camper taught me so much about God and about faith; my years as a staff member were the backbone of my student ministry days. It was Steve who got me there; it was Steve who kept me going those first few years. For that I am forever grateful. 

Those two acts of simple invitation literally made me who I am today. Over the past few weeks I have visited with two other members of that old New Garden youth group, and we are all in agreement that it there is no way to overvalue what that group meant to our lives. We have all found ourselves praying as the years past that our own children would encounter a group of friends that are anything like the ones we had. Without Steve I would not have been a part of that family- and I would be much the worse for it. Without Quaker Lake I might have never realized God's call to youth ministry in my life and had 28 wonderful years trying to give back to students the love and support I had felt as a teenager. Two simple invitations. Two life changing experiences. God is so often in the small stuff.

Steve Semmler changed my life forever over 40 years go, and he is still doing it today. That is the very definition of "influence." I am so honored to call him my friend. Long live Hurricane Smith!

Because of Jesus,

Thank You, David Bills

David with Willa Lee, Lori Edgerton & Melinda Powell
on one of our infamous Polaroid Scavenger Hunts!

Marilyn and I received word through Facebook this week that our old friend and my first pastor, David Bills, was retiring from the ministry. This was not a shock- we knew it was coming this year. But still, it is hard to imagine New Garden Friends Meeting without him. He served 50 years among Quakers, the last 42 of them at New Garden. That's a long, long time to pastor the same church. And it's not like he was the founding pastor- New Garden was founded in 1754. It was just the perfect match of institution and leader. But at age 73 Dave and amazing wife Jean have decided to move on. Today I want to share what an influence they were on my life and my ministry.

David arrived as pastoral minister at New Garden Friends Meeting just slightly before I did in 1972. It would be several months later before I really came to know him, but there were a number of things about David that stood out to me immediately. My experience with pastors to that point had been very limited, but the ones I had known had seemed quite serious and even a bit scary. David was just the opposite. He didn't tell us to call him Rev. Bills or Pastor Dave or any other formal title- just Dave. He was quick with a smile or a joke that really helped put this young teenager at ease as I tried to settle back into "church" after my family's extended absence. And he really cared about all of us in the youth group. And that youth group would be come the single most important group of people in my life for years to come. David had an impact on so many.

I remember riding with David on a trip up to Sam Levering's orchards and encountering a car with engine trouble. We stopped and looked under the hood, all of us clueless about what we might be looking for. David leaned in and said (and 30+ years later I can hear it as clearly as if were yesterday) "I see the problem.  The flange hammer is stuck on the McGuffy box, so your flu-flu valve is not working properly." We all looked at him and then exploded in laughter, understanding he was saying what we all thought- we would be no help in this matter. As usual, David put us all at ease.

New Garden Friends Meeting was a very eclectic place, with people of all ages and many places along the theological spectrum. David knew how to challenge us. He taught us about the Bible, about social justice, about Quakerism and about what it means to truly follow Christ. He taught me that being a pacifist wasn't a political stance, it was simply an expression of following Jesus. His worship style taught me so much about waiting on God and about loving silence. In a place where biblical literacy was sometimes questionable, I remember him delivering a message one Sunday from the book of 2 Heziciah. Many were surprised at the conclusion to discover there is no such book, and the lesson of how easily the uneducated can be misled in the name of God was not lost on anyone. I used that same trick many times over my years in student ministry. In fact, David encouraged first my youth leaders and then later myself to think way outside the box in our ministries. He supported all of us, and always had my back, even when I was wrong. He and Jean opened their home for a weekly gathering of Guilford College students, where they fed us and helped us cope with life, and those meals were some of my favorite times with some amazing friends. He encouraged me to work at Quaker Lake Camp. He pushed me to be involved in North Carolina Yearly Meeting youth activities and to make a difference in the lives of students all over the state- even though many leaders of that YM shunned him personally in those days. Later on he was a strong supporter when I applied for a position in New England Yearly Meeting and when I went to Springfield Friends Meeting. He was one of the pastors who presided over mine and Marilyn's wedding. His daughter Jennifer did the calligraphy on our Quaker Marriage Certificate that hangs in our home today. And when we wanted to have a memorial service in NC for my Dad in 2006, he graciously opened New Garden for us. He loved me when I was a failure and a success; he modeled the love of Christ for me even before I understood what that was. I was by no means a "finished product" when I left New Garden in 1985, but I had a spiritual foundation that has lasted a lifetime.

At the rehearsal dinner

But my most lasting memory of Dave will always be from our rehearsal dinner. As the large party set around tables, dressed fairly formally and toasting us with champagne, a commotion arose from David's table. We looked to see he had a table spoon dangling from his nose. My Dad followed his example, and before long the whole atmosphere of the room had changed with people trying to dangle spoons from their noses. I suppose the greatest compliment I can give David Bills is to say that he was always himself, no matter the situation. Pastors can be so pompous and self-important, seeking to separate themselves from the congregation to lead through some air of superiority. But just try being pompous with a spoon hanging on your nose! It's only fitting that his retirement party was a "Roast," where people told stories about him. His ministry was very much a narrative, and I hope that some day I am remembered in the same way. So thank you, Dave! Enjoy retirement. And know that your influence will be felt for years to come.

To read more about Dave and his life you can read this excellent article from the Greensboro News & Record. Just click the link! 

Because of Jesus,

The Facing Bench

Today's Throwback Thursday post comes from my early years as a youth leader. It was first published on this blog in 2009 during my very first month of blogging. I'm too busy having fun with my friends Steve and Carl Semmler to write anything new today!

New Garden Friends Meeting was (and still is) a very distinctive place, even amongst the somewhat peculiar people known as Quakers. It sits across the street from a Quaker college (Guilford) and next door to a large Quaker retirement community (Friends Homes). It is very difficult to say that anything in the "norm" among Friends, but for the most part Quaker meetings and churches are divided into two categories- programmed (pastors, choirs, sermons and other elements of protestant worship) and unprogrammed (no pastor, no music, silent worship broken by people speaking from leading of the Spirit). New Garden was both, choosing to call itself "semi-programed." Among the elements of tradition Quaker worship that New Garden had preserved was the facing bench. In early Quaker worship, there was no pastor to sit "up front" and preside over the Meeting for Worship, so elders would sit there, facing the gathered worship community. They would, among other things, end worship when they sensed it was time by simply standing and shaking hands. New Garden ended worship in that same manner.

One Sunday during my time as youth leader at New Garden I found myself sitting on the facing bench. It was a very special Sunday, because we were introducing the new President of Guilford College, Bill Rogers, and his wife Beverly. Bill Rogers had come to Guilford from Harvard and was a distinguished educator. Beverly was an elegant and dignified woman who looked the part of a college president's wife- a bit stuffy! As people gathered for worship I introduced myself to them and we all took our seats on the facing bench. I sat next to Beverly, who asked me how often I had to sit up front like this, and I replied "not very often." Another moment passed before she leaned over and said to me "You know what I hate about sitting up front like this? You can't pick your nose!" She immediately returned to sitting up straight and looking quite dignified, leaving me to stifle a loud laugh and try to pretend I was having a coughing fit. I thought I was going to fall off the facing bench! She never even smiled. After worship she thanked me for helping make her first Sunday at New Garden a memorable one, and that was all that was said.

I was reminded that day that God can use anyone or anything to inspire us. Some inspire us to greater faith, some to to greater accomplishments, and still others to greater learning. Bev Rogers reminded me that Sunday morning that God also inspires us to great laughter and greater joy, even in the midst of dignity and seriousness. Thank you Bev. And may God grant us all a good laugh everyday as a blessing and a Holy moment!

Because of Jesus,

Hall of Fame: Martha Ratledge Farlow

Martha in the Pot Sink...again!

I'm praying for my friend Ashley Goad (another QLC counselor, albeit from a far different generation than mine!) today as she and her team head back to Haiti, Many blessings, Prudence!

When I think about my humble beginnings in youth ministry, it's very easy to trace my roots back to Martha Ratledge Farlow.  Martha was a grade ahead of me in school and was an active participant in the youth group at New Garden Friends Meeting when I got involved in the 8th grade. As the years went by she sang in the school chorus with me, acted in plays with me (she was a remarkable Reno Sweeney in Anything Goes!) and was part of the thriving Young Life community that became very important in my life. She dated my best friend Steve for a time (and later on my other best friend Alan). And she was always a good friend to me.  By the time she joined the Quaker Lake Camp summer staff upon her graduation in 1976, she was already a big part of my life.  Little did I know that she had only just begun to influence me...

Martha was the music leader at QLC in my early years of volunteering and working summer staff, and so much of what became my own "style" of leading music with youth came from watching her in action.  That's not to say that we didn't harass her...we did, OFTEN! We would sing the words to The George Fox Song when she was playing Simple Gifts. We made up parts to songs to get the campers fired up and quite often a little out of control. We even tried to create our own song sheets full of songs she didn't like- see Project Myrtle. We did not make things easy on our friend, but we loved her. Even after I began to accompany her with my guitar, I was often more trouble than I was worth. But Martha always supported me.  Martha was a wonderful musician; I was (and still am) a hacker. I can still see her tilting her head or pulling on her ear when either my guitar or the singing was out of tune. I can also still hear her singing Boy From the Country, totally ruining the John Denver version because her's was so much better. She had patience, and taught me so many songs that were part of my own ministry in the early years. And she and I loved singing together. I have great memories of us standing around the dishwasher and harmonizing to Rollin' In My Sweet Baby's Arms or My Angel Baby or murdering the lyrics to to old classic Camptown Races- "Camptown ladies 5 miles long? Oh the do-dah day!" (Side note: My Angel Baby was a one hit wonder by a band called Toby Beau. It's not on I-Tunes and I can't find it anywhere. It you find it, PLEASE let me know. I want it badly!) We fussed, we argued. we laughed and we had a ball together.  And that was good, because we were about to get even more time together.

In 1979 Martha and I became the youth leaders at our home meeting, New Garden.  It was something we both loved, but again, Martha put up with a lot. I was always making wild suggestions and trying to get her to do crazy stuff. She was organized and a bit more serious. I kept telling her not to worry and that things "didn't matter."  I made her a little crazy at times, but we were a good combination for the youth we served. In 1980 she had an idea to plan a beach weekend for our old youth group friends, and so we did. The first year we had a blast; the second year we changed houses and found a little place called the Betsy B. Every youth group I led in later years should be thankful to Martha for discovering it!

Martha worked 6 summers at camp and went on to marry Mark Farlow, another QLC staff member, and to have 3 kids. Her family has remained involved, with Martha serving as the chairperson of the QLC Board for a number of years and volunteering at camp.  In fact, the last time I was at camp for a week as camp pastor in 2006, Martha was volunteering, Mark was around a bit, her son Carl (named after his grandfather, but Carl Semmler and I both still dispute that!) was on staff and her son Jacob was a high school camper. One of the highlights of the week for me was getting to play guitars and lead music with Martha once again.  It felt like things had come full circle.

So today it gives me great joy to make Martha Ratledge Farlow a part of my youth ministry Hall of Fame. She was there at the beginning and taught me so much (including hidden gems like not drinking milk for breakfast when you are singing in church- it builds phlegm!). And I have to admit that every now and then, when I hear an out-of-tune guitar or someone hit a real clunker of a note while singing, I tilt my head, pull on my ear, and smile.  Martha is always with me. Like any great friend...

Because of Jesus,