Magic Moments: One Last Hurrah!

Ski Trip, 2007- at Cracker Barrel

Today is the last entry in my Magic Moments series. When I began these posts I promised there would be 10 posts. This makes 21. I said there would be great memories as well as some ups and downs. This final Throwback Thursday story has both. It is the story of my last days as a youth pastor.

When I began work on the full-time summer staff of Quaker Lake Camp in June of 1978, I was 18 years old. I was still 18 when I led my first youth group at Centre Friends Meeting. I had no idea that nearly 30 years later I would still be doing youth ministry. But in February of 2007 I was still at it, and on February 19 of that year my group from Trinity UMC of Waycross, GA returned home from a ski trip. In many ways it was just like the hundreds of other youth group trips I had been part of over the many years. In at least one way it was like no other. I didn't know it until a few days later, but it had been my last hurrah in student ministry.

The story of the trip really begins a year earlier when I arrived at TUMC. I wanted to change the culture of the youth ministry to reach out to more students in the community and to make our church "the place to be" in Waycross for middle school and high school students. Part of that plan included more trips and more big adventures. In the summer of 2006 we took a successful mission trip to Chicago with the Center for Student Missions. In September we attended Night of Joy at Walt Disney World. By then, we had already announced the ski trip, and excitement was building. We would go to West Virginia and ski Winterplace the week after Christmas. The Guy with the Bus was going home!

As often happens with youth trips, life got in the way. The church van broke down coming home from a Christmas outing to a Japanese restaurant in Brunswick (an hour away). Repairs would be major, and I was left scrambling to find a rental van for those days after Christmas. In the meantime, there was no snow in West Virginia and it was too warm to make any. Winterplace was not even certain they would be open. At the last second, I called and moved our reservations to President's Day Weekend, 2007. This caused much confusion and chaos, but since it was youth ministry, no one really noticed. 

Let it snow!

By the time we actually took the trip, our van was fixed. But the parents who had planned to go along as chaperons had to back out, and no one stepped up to replace them. So my brave wife Marilyn and I took them ourselves- as we had done so often back in the day. I drove the van and she drove our station wagon. We went up on Friday, and any worries about snow were put to rest as soon as we arrived in Virginia. It was snowing like crazy. By the time we arrived at the motel, conditions were tricky. For the students who had never really seen it snow big time, it was amazing. They were all psyched about skiing. It was going to be a great couple of days on the slopes.

A VERY young Will Jones ready for the slopes!

In the middle of that night Marilyn (who never gets sick) became as sick as a dog. By morning it was clear she was going nowhere. So we left her at the motel, loaded up the van, and headed up the mountain to Winterplace. And it was indeed a great couple of days of skiing with a diverse and wonderful group of kids. By the time we were ready to head home on Monday morning, Marilyn was fine. One of the girls, however, was not. Kendall would spend the entire trip back asleep in the back seat of the station wagon, leaving the van a bit more crowded. It snowed more on the way home. But eventually, we arrived safely in Waycross, and I was able to write a safe and successful ending to yet another youth trip.

Meagan & Marilyn in the ski lodge

I was excited for the future of the student ministry of TUMC.  Nearly half of the students on that trip had never been to church at Trinity when I arrived a year before. We were growing. The community was buzzing about us. I was already working on an amazing summer schedule for 2007. Two nights later I led our Wednesday night bible study. That would be my last official act as a youth pastor. After nearly 30 years in ministry, after hundreds of trips, countless programs, thousands of games, 3 guitars and more wonderful relationships than I can possibly count, I was suddenly- and I knew quite permanently- finished as a youth pastor. Seven years later I am still recovering. I have experienced the grace and forgiveness of Jesus in new ways. I have been loved and supported by family and friends (and a whole new community of grace-filled folks from Twitter!) in ways I never expected. I have even found new ways to continue to be in ministry with many of the people I served for all those years. But as I look back today, I see that final trip, and thank God for it- and all of the incredible adventures He allowed me over those many years. My life has been so blessed. So many Magic Moments, so many stories that have been shared here on this blog. But still...I really miss those amazing trips! Anybody else feeling the need to hit the road? Crank up the Bohemian Rhapsody and let's go!  :)

Because of Jesus,

Flashback Friday: February 15, 2006

Will, Baloo Bear & Dad

The day had arrived for me to leave for a new youth pastor position in Waycross, GA- February 15, 2006.  I had taken most of my office stuff up when I had driven up a couple of weeks earlier, so this time my station wagon was packed with clothes and a few other things I would need for my six months of living alone.  Leaving was hard.  I was going to miss Marilyn and Will so much.  Plus, another complication had arisen over the previous few weeks.  My Dad had gotten very sick.  He was 71 years old and had always been one of the most vibrant and active people anyone could ever know.  He still played golf, softball and tennis. He rode his bike.  He and my Mom spent lots of time at their favorite place, Walt Disney World.  And then in the blink of an eye, he became weak and frail, and a battery of doctors could not seem to figure out why.  I had driven up to Leesburg, FL to see them a couple of days before my departure for Georgia.  Dad was in the hospital and seemed to be getting worse, and the doctors had finally decided it was a blood-based cancer that was tearing him down.  It was so sad to see him like that.

I headed out of Tampa around 10 AM and stopped at the Tampa Christian Supply to pick up a few more things that I thought I might need as I began my new adventure at Trinity UMC. I was shopping when my cell phone rang.  It was my Mom calling to tell me that my Dad had just passed away.  I was dumbstruck.  Here I was, leaving town, leaving my family behind and heading out to a new and somewhat scary place, and now my Dad- without a doubt the most important influence in my life- was gone.  My head was spinning.  I could not imagine how we were going to tell Will.  This was not just his grandfather (Paw-Paw) who had died- this was his best friend.  My 10 year-old son was hardly ready for this.  I was hardly ready for this.  I called Marilyn and told her the news and that my plans had changed.  I called Trinity UMC and told them I would not be arriving that day, or anytime that week.  All of the energy and excitement that had been building in me for this new opportunity and this new ministry was drained in one 5 minute phone call.  I was very frustrated with God's timing, and I told Him so.

My Dad had wanted to be cremated, and we honored those wishes.  Mom didn't really want to do any kind of formal service, but after some convincing she agreed to a memorial service in North Carolina that May so that all of our extended family and friends could remember my Dad, who through coaching and chaperoning youth trips had been a huge part of so many lives. I eventually made my way to Waycross on February 22nd.  My usual positive attitude, however, would lag far behind.  Instead of hitting the ground running and getting off to a flying start, my energy would now be invested in just trying to survive and advance.  Fortunately, even when we doubt, even when we are frustrated, even when we feel all alone- God is faithful.  

As I remember my Dad today (hard to believe he's been gone 7 years already) I think of the amazing relationship he had with my son Will.  A couple of years back I put together this little slide show of pictures of the two of them, set to Steven Curtis Chapman's Remembering You.  Will actually sang this song at the memorial service.  I can think of no better way to celebrate Dad's memory than with pictures of he and Will. I hope it will give each of you a small glimpse into the joy and vigor of a great man. Today- just like every other day- I miss you Dad.  Have a great weekend, everyone.

Because of Jesus,

Hall of Fame: UBD

UBD and a just confirmed Will Jones, 2007

There have been very few people who have made my Youth Group Hall of Fame that I never knew when they were youth.  There have been even fewer church staff members inducted. In fact, up until today, there had been one: Andrew Lewis.  But today's honoree meets both of those standards.  He is also the initial inductee from my brief stay (2006-2007) at the Trinity United Methodist Church of Waycross, GA.  With all of these rare credentials, you know it must be someone special.  And David White is certainly that...  


In late 2005, as I began the process of interviewing for the youth pastor position at TUMC, David was the first person I spoke with.  Thought he was the Associate Pastor, he seemed light years ahead of the Senior Pastor in terms of energy and knowledge.  He arranged the interviews, scheduled my trips to Waycross, and served as a one man panel for some of my toughest questions.  After I was hired, David quickly became my closest friend in town and my go-to guy on all things Waycross.   He and his lovely wife Tina taught me about crucial local issues like how to avoid getting trapped by one of the 1000 trains that pass through town each day;  the best places to eat; the places to avoid; and what life was like in a small town in south Georgia.  Perhaps most importantly, he taught me the wonders of eating at the Rodeo Mexican Restaurant for Sunday lunch.  :)   He was my "Waycross Mentor," even though we were basically the same age. And when it came time (after I had already been there 6 months) to move my family up from Tampa, David drove the truck and helped carry the boxes.  He was always there for me.


He was also my TUMC mentor.  No matter the person or the ministry of TUMC, David knew about them.  He knew because he cared and was involved.  He guided me through the minefield that is learning the parents of any youth group.  He taught me the history of student ministry at Trinity, the good and the bad.  He helped me understand the sacred cows that exist in every church.  He introduced me at every turn, and championed my ministry at every chance.  David knew the students in that church better than anyone, and they LOVED him.  Kids of all ages called him UBD, which was short for Uncle Big Dave.  His contributions to our student ministry during my short stay were impossible to count; his contributions before I came and I after I was gone are the stuff of legend.


UBD is one of those rare people who God created to be in ministry.  He grew up in the Baptist church and was ordained there.  In fact, the final straw for me in regards to the way the UMC does ordination came when they gave him so many obstacles and hoops to jump through to transfer his ordination that he finally had to just give up.  Any church organization that doesn't make it easy for David White to be a part of it is simply messed up.   In addition to his work with children and youth, he also served as the director of the Keenagers, a music ministry for senior citizens.  At various points in time he served TUMC as interim, organist, youth pastor and choir director.  He is a wonderful preacher with a real ability to connect with all ages.  He was at every event- every church dinner, every softball game, every committee meeting.  And he is one of the nicest guys you could ever meet.  He loves that church, and they love him.  Senior Pastors have come and gone, but as long as David is there the members feel a peace and a stability.  


But David is not being inducted into my Hall of Fame today just for those wonderful reasons.  UBD is being honored because of what he did after my life fell apart and I was gone from TUMC.  When I was unable to do many things to help take care of my family during those weeks, David did.  He made certain Will got to Confirmation Class, a Confirmation Retreat, and to youth group.  He made sure that members of the church rallied around Marilyn and Will and loved and supported them while I was away.  Even after we moved back to Tampa, he continued to stay in touch with Will and make sure things were going well.  In short, David was Jesus with skin to my family.  I can never thank him enough for that.  But I can give him his rightful place in my Hall of Fame.  Thanks for everything, UBD.  My entire family (including Conner) sends their love.  And we have picked out some great places to eat for next time you and Tina are in Tampa...


Because of Jesus,

One Last Hurrah

Ski Trip, 2007- at Cracker Barrel

When I began work on the full-time summer staff of Quaker Lake Camp in June of 1978, I was 18 years old.  I had no idea that nearly 30 years later I would still be doing youth ministry.  But in February of 2007 I was still at it, and on February 19 of that year my group from Trinity UMC of Waycross, GA returned home from a ski trip.  In many ways it was just like the hundreds of other youth group trips I had been part of over the many years.  In at least one way it was like no other.  I didn't know it until a few days later, but it had been my last hurrah in student ministry.


The story of the trip really begins a year earlier when I arrived at TUMC.  I wanted to change the culture of the youth ministry to reach out to more students in the community and to make our church "the place to be" in Waycross for middle school and high school students. Part of that plan included more trips and more big adventures.  In the summer of 2006 we took a mostly successful mission trip to Chicago with the Center for Student Missions.  In September we attended Night of Joy at Walt Disney World. By then, we had already announced the ski trip, and excitement was building.  We would go to West Virginia and ski Winterplace the week after Christmas. 


As often happens with youth trips, life got in the way. The church van broke down coming home from a Christmas outing to a Japanese restaurant in Brunswick (an hour away).  Repairs would be major, and I was left scrambling to find a rental van for those days after Christmas.  In the meantime, there was no snow in West Virginia and it was too warm to make any.  Winterplace was not even certain they would be open.  At the last second, I called and moved our reservations to President's Day Weekend, 2007.  This caused much confusion and chaos, but since it was youth ministry, no one really noticed.  :)

Let it snow!

By the time we actually took the trip, our van was fixed.  But the parents who had planned to go along as chaperons had to back out, and no one stepped up to replace them.  So my brave wife Marilyn and I took them ourselves- as we had done so often back in the day.  I drove the van and she drove our station wagon.  We went up on Friday, and any worries about snow were put to rest as soon as we arrived in Virginia. It was snowing like crazy.  By the time we arrived at the motel, conditions were tricky.  For the students who had never really seen it snow big time, it was amazing.  They were all psyched about skiing. It was going to be a great couple of days of he slopes.

My son Will ready for the slopes!

In the middle of that night Marilyn (who never gets sick) became as sick as a dog. By morning it was clear she was going nowhere.  So we left her at the motel, loaded up the van, and headed up the mountain to Winterplace. And it was indeed a great couple of days of skiing.  By the time we were ready to head home on Monday morning, Marilyn was fine.  One of the girls, however, was not.  Kendall would spend the entire trip back asleep in the back seat of the station wagon, leaving the van a bit more crowded.  It snowed more on the way home.  But eventually, we arrived safely in Waycross, and I was able to write a safe and successful ending to yet another youth trip.

Meagan & Marilyn in the ski lodge

I was excited for the future of the student ministry of TUMC.  Nearly half of the students on that trip had never been to church at Trinity when I arrived a year before.  We were growing.   The community was buzzing about us. I was already working on an amazing summer schedule for 2007.   Two nights later I led our Wednesday night bible study.  That would be my last official act as a youth pastor.  Hidden sins caught up with me, and the church had no choice but to ask me leave.  My life would change forever.  After nearly 30 years in ministry, after hundreds of trips, countless programs, thousands of games and more wonderful relationships than I can possibly count, I was suddenly- and I knew quite permanently- finished as a youth pastor. Five years later I am still recovering.  I have experience the grace and forgiveness of Jesus in new ways.  I have been loved and supported by family and friends (and a whole new community of grace-filled folks from Twitter!) in ways I never expected.  I have even found new ways to continue to be in ministry with some of the now adult youth I served for all those years. But as I look back today, I see that final trip, and thank God for it- and all of the amazing adventures He allowed me over those many years.  My life has been so blessed.  But still...I really miss those trips. Crank up the Bohemian Rhapsody and let's go!  :)


Because of Jesus,

Dramatic Grace

Tomorrow is another Comment Day!  Read all the blogs you can, and leave comments on every post you read.  And be sure to stop by here to check out an amazing guest post from my Twitter friend Stacey Rocque!!!


In 1999 I was attending a United Methodist church in Kentucky (for a job interview) one weekend when a skit they performed in worship gave me an idea for a skit to use on a Youth Sunday at FUMC-Kissimmee.  Over the next few years I revised the skit and put it to the music of Michael W. Smith's This Is the Time. It was a major success at 4 churches I served, and I wrote it out for a number of other youth pastors to use over that period of time as well.  It was a skit that teenagers loved because it did not require them to speak.  It was a skit the congregation loved because it conveyed so clearly the love and grace of Jesus in each of our lives.  Each time we shared it, people were moved to tears.


In October of 2006 we did a Youth Sunday at the 6 PM service at Trinity UMC of Waycross, GA- and we included the skit.  The crowd was small (as it always was at the evening service there) and several of the folks who had practiced the skit didn't show up. Nonetheless, the video of that night is the only computer friendly footage I have of the skit.  It's also special to me because my now 16 year old son Will is the 11 year old playing Jesus in the skit.  The camera man had trouble following it, but it still gives you a great feel for this dramatic interpretation of the salvation and grace available to each of us from Jesus Christ.  Enjoy.  And if you're a youth pastor, steal.  It's simple, and it's a keeper!





Because of Jesus,

Welcome To the Sit 'N' Stick

When last we paid any attention to my life story, I had arrived in Waycross, Georgia in 2006 as the youth pastor at Trinity UMC.  Waycross is a unique place, and my early impressions were a mixed bag of special...and strange.  Today I remember a couple of the things that made Waycross unique.

Waycross is a "big" small town.  There are several nice motels.  It had all of your standard fast food restaurants (as a side note, the Hardees and Wendy's had signs when I arrived indicating that soon they would no longer except personal checks.  I never knew any fast food places accepted personal checks!), plus a KFC,  Krystal, Sonic and an Arby's.  It had a couple of very nice seafood restaurants, a great Chinese buffet and Wong's, which may be my favorite Chinese restaurant ever.  It had Dick's Wings & Grill, which I have mentioned in previous posts was a huge part of our student ministry.  Waycross provided me with my introduction to Zaxby's, which was a favorite hang out for lots of the youth.  In fact, I think I met students and families at Zaxby's 5 times during my first full week in town.  Waycross had plenty of food.


Waycross also had a multiplex movie theater, the Waycross Mall Cinema 7.  The complex was not actually in the mall, but behind it.  My friend (and Associate Pastor at TUMC) David White informed me that the theaters were more commonly known as the Sit 'N' Stick - because you did!  The floor was covered in soda spilled sometime around 1987.  Whole sections of seats were roped off because of water damage.  When the air conditioner came on, the noise reminded me of the rumble you hear at the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular at Disney's Hollywood Studios when the giant ball rolls after Indy.  The theater did not except credit cards, and there was no means of buying tickets online- in 2006.  And I don't think I ever saw a movie there when the projection equipment didn't malfunction at some point- usually between the coming attractions and the actual movie.  Nonetheless, every weekend the theaters were packed, because it was the only game in town...

I mentioned there was a mall.  Kinda sorta.  Again, I was informed early on that the locals called it The Small.  There just wasn't much there other than the town's only Chick-fil-A, and when it moved out to new facility it felt The Small just completely died.  The youth did a scavenger hunt there one time, and I promise you that the 20 of us doubled the crowd that night.  At various points in time they had a music store, a Chinese restaurant and a sporting goods store, as well as several places that sold some pretty ridiculous clothing styles that even my youth found to be over-the-top.  There was seldom any reason to visit The Small.


Waycross has much more to offer.  If you love trains, it's hard to find a better place to see them.  The Okefenokee Swamp is located just down Highway 1.  They have their own Christmas Parade and their own racetrack.  And Swampfest is a great festival of food and music held every April in downtown.  There were things to do in Waycross- and Jacksonville, Florida was only an hour away!  :)


It was a long strange trip that led to Waycross, and an even stranger path that brought me back to Tampa.  If you ever find yourself lost between I-75 and I-95 in south GA, check out Train Town.  Just stay away from the Sit 'N' Stick!


Because of Jesus,

Waycross Friday Night Football

Perhaps my favorite days during my time at Trinity UMC of Waycross, GA were Friday nights during football season.  In south Georgia, football is a religion, and every home game Friday night the entire town of Waycross would gather to worship together. The "temple" was this amazing stadium (see picture), much nicer than many of the stadiums at some of the smaller colleges I have visited.  It even had a "Diamond Vision" style replay screen.  You could actually buy reserved seats.  It astonished me.  As a youth pastor, it was always a great night- I could see every kid in town all at the same place.  We would sit near the band, next to the section where all of the middle school students would hang out.  Students would parade in front of us all night, often stopping by for a quick visit or to ask me if I would take my shirt off so they could paint something on my chest.  The answer, in case you are wondering, was always NO!  I would also get to chat with parents, other church members and most every other youth pastor in town.  In fact, if you were a youth pastor in Waycross and were not at home football games, you weren't doing your job very well.  It was your chance to connect with the entire town at once.

In the years before my arrival at Trinity UMC it had been a tradition to have a youth gathering at the The Vine (the TUMC youth house) following home games.  It was supposed to be an outreach event, but had been mostly Trinity kids coming just to hang out.  And there had been some problems with drugs and alcohol.  Among my priorities as I began to plan for the 2006-07 school year was to crank that idea up a notch while making it a safer environment.  I went to a local eatery called Dick's Wings & Grill, a favorite among my youth.  I asked them about hosting The 5th Quarter, an after-game gathering on home game Friday nights.  It would mean keeping their doors open a little later than usual, and total chaos as hungry teenagers descended on their restaurant- but they agreed to do it, and to offer half price appetizers so the students could actually eat!  The location secured, I then purchased an ad in the most widely read magazine in Waycross- the Ware County High School Football Program.  I also sent e-mails to all of the other churches in town letting them know they were all invited.  The program was a hit from the very beginning, as the food and fellowship were a perfect combination to draw students.  As the weeks went by, we added door prizes, a karaoke machine and some other goodies to keep new people coming in- and they did.  I met a ton of students this way, and cemented our growing reputation as one of the hot student ministries in town.  And my own students loved it and took great pride in hosting the event.   They even did two stories on the program in the local paper.  We were a hit.


Among my many regrets about having only served one year in Waycross was that I never got a chance to build on that first year of success with The 5th Quarter.  The whole story reminds me of the many advantages of small town youth ministry, and the opportunities that exist in those situations to change a community in the name of Jesus.  And wherever WCHS is playing tonight, I can only say "GO GATORS!"  And eat some of that deadly hot Dick's Secret Sauce for me...


Because of Jesus,

Meanwhile, Back In Waycross...

In May of 2006, I was excited to get started on my first summer at Trinity UMC of Waycross, GA.  If you've read much of this blog at all you know that summer was my favorite season of ministry, and this was especially true whenever I was in a new location.  So many adventures to be had, so many relationships to be built.  By my standards, it was going to be an abbreviated summer schedule.  There would be only one major trip- a mission trip to Chicago.  Youth Week would be shortened, and I wasn't at all sure we could do a Rec Around the Clock.  There would be a trip to Jacksonville for some miniature golf.  We went tubing and to Valdosta to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2.  Most of my usual relationship building events were on the schedule.  One on One, Happy Hour, SHO-Time and all the rest would give me a chance to hang out with students and begin to get a feel for where this ministry might go.  I was seriously pumped- and so were the kids.  


I was excited about the summer for a few other reasons as well.  Will moved up to join me in June after school let out in Tampa, and it was great to share the Skittles House with him.  Having just finished 5th grade, he was ready to be a real part of the youth group, and I was psyched to have him on board.  Marilyn would arrive in July, and we would move into our new home.  My friend Tim Vestal would be passing through Waycross with his youth group and spending a night in our youth house as part of a mystery trip to Florida.  And most exciting of all, I would be headed to NC for a week in July to serve as camp pastor at one of my favorite places on earth- Quaker Lake Camp.  One of my former youth, Hall of Fame member Heather Beggs Varner, was now the Camp Director.  I was thrilled she had invited me to come serve at Senior High Camp.  It was going to be an awesome summer.


It would also be my final summer as a youth pastor, but I didn't know that yet.  And before I could get any of it underway, we had to travel to Greensboro in May and say a final farewell to my Dad at a memorial service at New Garden Friends Meeting.  That story is coming up Friday.


Because of Jesus,

Attitude Adjustment

Upon my arrival at Trinity UMC-Waycross in February of 2006, I started making changes.  I changed the format and content of the Sunday evening UMYF meetings.  There would be more interactive programming, more singing, more audio-visual content and more games.  Lots more games.  Because for the previous couple of years there had really only been one game.  It involved dodge balls, people getting smashed in the face, and the word "kill."  It was not difficult to understand why many of the high school girls had lost interest in youth group.  It had become completely testosterone driven.  This had to change.


I had discovered at my interview with youth and parents back in January that there was a small group of parents that had exercised a tremendous amount of control over both the youth ministry and the youth pastor.  When I had shared stories of some of the mission trips and other events I had led in the past, the "ring leaders" of that parental group had explained to me in no uncertain terms that "they didn't do that at TUMC."  The best I could tell, they seldom traveled outside of Georgia, and it was explained to me that I would never be able to get parents to chaperon trips like I was talking about.  I think my response that "maybe parents shouldn't be the chaperons" almost cost me the job- but it was worth it.  The attitude had to change.  By the time I actually arrived in late February, I already had two trips in mind.  We would take a summer mission trip to Chicago with the Center for Student Missions, and then in September we would take a group to Night of Joy at Walt Disney World.  I announced these ideas rather quickly, and they were met with almost unanimous approval and excitement.  Almost.  I was told by the "parental powers" that Chicago was too scary, and that no one would go.  I was told again no parents would chaperon.  Immediately, two TUMC staff members stepped up to help lead the trip, and a core group of 10 students were fired up and ready to go.  The Night of Joy trip would go on to be one of the biggest groups TUMC had taken on a trip in years.  Like it or not, they had hired me to be a leader- and I was going to lead!


Thus began one exciting year of student ministry in Waycross.  We'll come back to some more of those stories later on, but for the next 10 days or so it's time to get ready for the 2 year anniversary of this blog (August 26) with some special posts.  I hope you will join us!


Because of Jesus,

A New Beginning

When I finally arrived at Trinity UMC- Waycross in February of 2006 I was hit with several immediate realities.  The first was the little house on church property that I would be living in until Marilyn and Will arrived that summer.  It was a bit run down, it smelled funny, and the walls in every room were painted a different bright color.  It quickly became known as The Skittles House.  It had been furnished with some very formal, uncomfortable chairs from the church and a bed donated by one of the members.  Plus, the youth families had given me a "shower" and provided me with kitchen and dining equipment.  I had every thing I needed, except a TV.  A quick trip to Wal-Mart took care of that.  Ahhhh- home!


The next reality was that I was "single" again.  With no family responsibilities, I had lots of time to work.  I went to every ball game and every school event I could find out about.  I went to every church meeting and every church softball game.  I accepted every dinner invitation.  I cleaned, rearranged and decorated the youth house.  I built my office from scratch.  I often worked until midnight.  I was able to cover a lot of ground in a short period of time, and it helped me get things up and running.


A third reality was that I only had two high schools and two middle schools to connect with- and that they WANTED me to connect with them.  Being in a small southern town meant that most everyone had some sort of church connection, and a religious presence was welcome in the schools.  I was quickly asked to speak at FCA meetings at both high schools and one of the middle schools, and found myself meeting regularly with some other local youth pastors.  And showing me the ropes of all these things was our Associate Pastor, David White- or as the kids knew him, UBD (Uncle Big Dave!).  UBD was an amazing resource, and made the learning curve in Waycross much simpler.  He showed me the pitfalls, the restaurants, how to avoid the ten thousand trains that pass through Waycross each day, and helped me understand Trinity UMC.  He was a great mentor.  


There were some issues to overcome, including some parents who were huge proponents of the "we never did it that way before" school of youth ministry.  How did I get passed that attitude?  That tale will be told Wednesday...


Because of Jesus,

February 15, 2006

Dad & Will. 1998

The day had arrived for me to leave for my new youth pastor position in Waycross, GA.  I had taken most of my office stuff up when I had driven up a couple of weeks earlier, so this time my station wagon was packed with clothes and a few other things I would need for my six months of living alone.  Leaving was hard.  I was going to miss Marilyn and Will so much.  Plus, another complication had arisen over the previous few weeks.  My Dad had gotten very sick.  He was 71 years old and had always been one of the most vibrant and active people anyone could ever know.  He still played golf, softball and tennis. He rode his bike.  He and my Mom spent lots of time at their favorite place, Walt Disney World.  And then in the blink of an eye, he became weak and frail, and a battery of doctors could not seem to figure out why.  I had driven up to Leesburg, FL to see them a couple of days before my departure for Georgia.  Dad was in the hospital and seemed to be getting worse, and the doctors had finally decided it was a blood-based cancer that was tearing him down.  It was so sad to see him like that.


I headed out of Tampa around 10 AM and stopped at the Tampa Christian Supply to pick up a few more things that I thought I might need as I began my new adventure at Trinity UMC. I was shopping when my cell phone rang.  It was my Mom calling to tell me that my Dad had just passed away.  I was dumbstruck.  Here I was, leaving town, leaving my family behind and heading out to a new and somewhat scary place, and now my Dad- without a doubt the most important influence in my life- was gone.  My head was spinning.  I could not imagine how we were going to tell Will.  This was not just his grandfather (Paw-Paw) who had died- this was his best friend.  My 10 year-old son was hardly ready for this.  I was hardly ready for this.  I called Marilyn and told her the news and that my plans had changed.  I called Trinity UMC and told them I would not be arriving that day, or anytime that week.  All of the energy and excitement that had been building in me for this new opportunity and this new ministry was drained in one 5 minute phone call.  I was very frustrated with God's timing, and I told Him so.


My Dad had wanted to be cremated, and we honored those wishes.  Mom didn't really want to do any kind of formal service, but after some convincing she agreed to a memorial service in North Carolina in May so that all of our extended family and friends could remember my Dad, who through coaching and chaperoning youth trips had been a huge part of so many lives.  The story of that amazing day will be told here soon enough.  I eventually made my way to Waycross on February 22nd.  My usual positive attitude, however, would lag far behind.  Instead of hitting the ground running and getting off to a flying start, my energy would now be invested in just trying to survive and advance.  Fortunately, even when we doubt, even when we are frustrated, even when we feel all alone- God is faithful.  Things did get off to a good start at Trinity UMC, despite me.  Those stories will begin next week.  I hope you all have a blessed weekend.


Because of Jesus,

Hitting the Ground Running

I had many faults and flaws as a youth pastor during my 28 years of service to churches, but there were two areas in which I consistently excelled.  I always left a church in a strong and positive way, making sure the students knew I was never leaving because of them.  And I always arrived at a new ministry with goals, focus, a plan in mind and energy to spare. In other words, I always hit the ground running!  Normally these two events took place in close proximity to each other; I would depart one ministry and arrive at the next within the same week.  In January of 2006 I prepared to go to Trinity UMC of Waycross, GA after 6 months of rest, prayer and planning.  They had no idea what was about to hit them!


I set my arrival date at February 15, 2006.  Since I would be spending several months away from Marilyn and Will (who would remain in Tampa through the end of the school year), I wanted to spend Valentine's Day with them; I could head north after that.  In the meantime, I began to brainstorm ideas and programs for my first few months in Waycross.  I would be free of my own family responsibilities, which meant I would have loads of time to visit families and see ballgames, concerts plays and any other events the youth of TUMC were involved in.  I knew going in that the active youth fell into two main groups; middle school girls and high school boys.  I would need to reach out and try to bring back those who had dropped out, and also build bridges between those who were there.  I also knew that I would spend lots of time early on trying to renovate the two houses on campus that the youth had been meeting in.  One was not terrible (it had a Hawaiian theme and needed a fierce cleaning); the other was an absolute disaster.  My office was also in that house, and it was beyond help.  I would be starting from scratch- there was not even a desk.  I begin to order some things to help spruce the place up a bit.  I wanted to make an impression.


I then discovered that the first weekend in February was to be a big one at TUMC.  On Saturday, there would be an all-day church planning conference, as each area of ministry shared their goals and ideas for the coming year.  On Sunday, the youth would be having a big Super Bowl party at the home of a couple who helped out with the ministry and their high school boys.  I decided that I needed to be there for both of those events, and the church and the youth were thrilled at my excitement.  As usual, I didn't just spectate- I jumped in with ideas and challenges on Saturday and by helping on Sunday.  By the time the weekend was over, I felt like a part of the church family, and there were still two weeks before my first official Sunday.  I could not wait to get started.  I really felt like God was getting me ready to do a great work in Waycross.


But life happens.  I didn't actually arrive on February 15th- it was a week later.  By the time I got there, my whole life had changed, and my energy levels were way down.  I had been so excited about what I could do.  Now it was time to once again let Jesus carry me.  That story is coming Friday.


Because of Jesus,

One Last Job Search (Conclusion)

By the time Marilyn and I made the long drive from Tampa to Atlanta in January 2006 for my interview with Peachtree City UMC, an offer from Trinity UMC- Waycross was already on the table.  Our plan was to do the interview, then drive back through Waycross and attend worship so Marilyn could get a feel for the place.  I was excited about meeting the folks at PCUMC, because it was a large church and because I had already developed a good relationship with a couple of staff members through e-mails and instant messages.  In the interview itself it became quite obvious that the parents on the search committee were obsessed with my age rather than my experience. I left feeling very good about the interview and very bad about my chances of being offered the position.  I was right.


We pulled into Trinity UMC just a short time before the start of worship, and we were greeted warmly.  One couple told us that they had moved to Waycross from Miami and that while it was quite a change, they loved it.  We would discover later that there was more to their story than we were hearing at the time.  We enjoyed worshiping with the TUMC family, but we also understood how different this church was from what were accustomed to at this point in our lives.  The service was beyond traditional.  It was quite liturgical; the order of worship was printed in the bulletin and followed to the letter each week, complete with creed and doxology.  The music was very much old school hymns with organ.  There was no contemporary service.  And the preaching was quite dry.  But the people were wonderful, and the youth surrounded us after the service and made us feel quite loved.  In fact, one of the 6th grade girls told us that we had to accept the position, because the other guy they had considered was "just awful!"  Plus she wanted to meet Will...   :)


After much prayer and debate, I took the position as Director of Student Ministries at Trinity UMC- Waycross, with plans to start on February 15th.  This was not going to be easy. I would move up and live in a tiny house (The Skittles House- more on that later) that the church owned until Marilyn and Will moved up in July, after school was out and the lease on our apartment was up.  I would be myself until then.  I would have to learn the ins and outs of a new church, a new city and lots of new families.  I was breaking one of my own personal rules right from the beginning.  I have always asked myself this question: If I didn't work for this church, would I attend it?  I knew going in that in this case the answer was probably no.  But still...there was something about the place that had captured part of my heart, and I was really looking forward to doing youth ministry in a town with one high school and two middle schools.  I would be great to be in a place where the entire community gathered every Friday night for the high school football game at a stadium located not on campus, but in the center of town (Go Gators!).  I was very excited about working with Associate Pastor David White, who was clearly the heart of the church's ministry.  I felt like God was ready to do big things at TUMC, and that He had called me to come join Him there.  Of course, as is always true with God's plans, He knew what the next year had is store for me- but I was clueless.  It was going to be a wild ride that would start with a gigantic hurdle and end with a thud.  But in between there were some amazing stories of ministry.  All of that is still to come...


Because of Jesus,

One Last Job Search (Part 2)

In mid December 0f 2005 I found myself driving back up to Waycross, GA for a second interview, this time with some of the parents and youth.  At that point I had also committed to interview with a huge United Methodist church in the Atlanta suburbs, but I had a serious interest in Trinity UMC.  I was excited to meet some of the students and hear what their hopes and dreams for the ministry were.  We sat down to a pizza dinner together and I sat beside a high school girl who told me she had quit coming a year or so earlier.  When I asked her why, she talked about all of the games and activities had been tilted towards things guys liked, and that most of the older girls did not attend.  Right away I had picked up some valuable information.  Another girl (her name was Alyssa) sat across from me with her boyfriend and they chatted my ears off about what they wished the future of the youth ministry might be like.  Several of the middle school kids also came and sat with me, talking about how much the youth group meant to them and how they hoped it could be exciting again.  When the interview finally began, I was psyched! 


The entire evening took place in an house (The Vine) located on the church property, and the interview took place in the living room, which was also used for youth meetings.  The inside of the house was a dump, and didn't look like any effort had been made to make it feel like a "home" for students.  We sat in a giant circle on dilapidated couches and chairs, and after some introductions the questions began.  They didn't know it, but at this point in my career they were actually the ones being interviewed.  They wanted to know all about trips I had led, how I would change the Sunday evening meetings, and what new things I might bring to Waycross.  As I answered their questions, I asked my own right back at them.  I wanted to know what had been working and what some of the issues had been over previous years.  The student who was most vocal and encouraging during the evening was Alyssa, and what made that funny is that she didn't even attend all that often- her boyfriend was actually the youth group member!  There was also a couple present that clearly saw the student ministry as "their baby," and they seemed uncomfortable with my experience and leadership style.  I made it clear that if they brought me in, there would be changes.  This excited almost everyone...all but two.  They seemed to focus on my age and the fact that Trinity UMC was smaller than many of my previous stops.  There attitudes were the biggest negatives of the night.


I drove home to Tampa after the meeting- 4 hours alone with my thoughts.  I still wasn't sure what to make of the place, but I did love the kids I had met.  There was still a bit of uncertainty in my mind about how and why the previous youth pastor had left.  There were some strengths, including David White, their outstanding Associate Pastor.  I was less sure about Pastor Don.  But I just wasn't clear on a calling at all.  I knew that just moving to Waycross would be a huge step.  Will had only lived in Kissimmee/Orlando, Chicago and Tampa.  This would be quite a change.  By the time I got home, I knew that I needed Marilyn to see the church and meet the people, so we decided to make an unscheduled visit to Sunday worship on our way back from the interview in Atlanta.  The end of this saga is coming Monday.  Have a blessed weekend.


Because of Jesus,

One Last Job Search (Part 1)

If you are a regular reader you may recall that in December of 2005 I was unemployed, living in Tampa and looking for a new position in student ministry.  I sent resumes all over the place, but I had a few things working against me.  First of all, I couldn't exactly count on a glowing recommendation from the Rev. Not-Appearing-in-this-Blog, since he had removed me from my previous ministry a few months earlier.  Secondly, I was 46 years old, and many churches seemed to feel I was closer to retirement than I was to another youth ministry position.  And finally, after 27 years of ministry and more than a little success, many churches just assumed they couldn't afford me.  Offers to come interview were not flying in.  The churches that did contact me were a mess.  I didn't need another situation that needed a hero.  So I waited.


Sometime in December Trinity UMC of Waycross, Georgia saw my resume online and made contact with me.  After a few e-mails and a phone conversation with their Associate Pastor, I was invited to come interview.  I have to admit I had no idea where Waycross was- I am guessing most of you don't either.  It is located about an hour northwest of Jacksonville, Florida.  If you are travelling up I-95, it's about an hour to your west.  If you are on I-75, it's about an hour to the east.  In other words, if you aren't looking for Waycross there is no real reason you should know where it is!  I was expecting a small town, but I was somewhat surprised.  Arriving from the south, it felt like I had driven 50 miles without seeing a building (not true, but it felt that way) when suddenly I arrived at the Waycross city limits.  Immediately there were restaurants, car dealerships and motels.  The church was downtown, which seemed to be an mix of very old and very new buildings.  I had lunch with Pastor Don (the senior pastor) at Wendy's, and then met with the search committee that evening.  Along the way I discovered something very interesting.   The previous youth pastor at TUMC had been Chad Deetz.  Chad had been my intern at FUMC-Kissimmee in 1999, and I had served as a reference for him when he got he job in Waycross, spending a great deal of time on the phone with someone.  It was an odd connection.  In any case, the interview went well and I returned to Tampa feeling good about my chances.  I had a couple of other interviews lined up, and it looked like God might have something in mind for me yet.  That feeling was reinforced when TUMC called me back to interview with parents and students.  That unusual story continues on Friday...


Because of Jesus,

"You Ordered a Mess & You Got a Mess..."

This is the 3rd installment of a 3 part series. You may need to go back a couple of days to catch up...

I think I was in the 8th grade when some friends and I went to the local ice cream shop one afternoon to hang out and eat frozen goodies. My friend Becky ordered vanilla ice cream with caramel syrup on top. She expected to get it in a cup, but instead was handed a cone with caramel oozing down the sides. As Becky gasped in disbelief the server said to her, "You ordered a mess and you got a mess!~"

Around noon on March 21st, 2007, I found myself in a mess of my own making. The Waycross Police arrived at my home. I was out in the yard with our dog, Conner, when they pulled up. When I greeted them they asked me if I knew what they were there for. I said, "I would assume you're here to arrest me." I was right. They let me take Conner back inside and call Marilyn to tell her what was going on. They were the first of many to tell me I would be out on bond by the next morning. We walked to the car and I got in. They never touched me and never handcuffed me. And we headed off to the county jail.

Once inside, the mess kept getting bigger. I sat in a holding cell while 2 men threatened to kill each other and then me- and then were released without being booked. As they booked me there was a lengthy argument about whether my Internet conversation was a misdemeanor or a felony. A very helpful man from the GBI decided on felony. Then there was another discussion about where I should be housed for the one night (I heard it over and over again) I would be there. Since I knew absolutely nothing about prison life, they decided to give me a private cell on the high security wing for my own safety. They gave me an orange and white striped jump suit to put on. I'm 6'4" and nothing fit, so I wound up wearing what amounted to Capri pants- for the next 7 weeks. There were no bars on my cell, just a small concrete block room with no windows and a plexi-glass porthole in the heavy steel door. And it was freezing.  I'm almost never cold (ask anyone who ever visited one of my offices), but I FROZE that day and night. The ceiling was covered with globs of toilet paper that previous occupants had gotten wet and then tossed at the air vents hoping they would stick and block them. I had a bed that was way too short, 2 sheets and no pillow. And a towel. I used the towel for a blanket. I had no idea what time it was or what might happen next. In the middle of the night, one of the giant globs of TP fell from the ceiling and would have scared me to death- except that I was already that scared. 

The next morning they brought me breakfast, wrapped me in chains like I was the Frankenstein monster, and took me to a court room right there in the jail. Marilyn and my attorney were waiting for me there. This was when bail would be set and I could go home. But this mess of my own making just kept getting messier. The judge could not set bail in my case because his superior wanted to see me in court first. The Assistant D.A. said they were willing to set bail and process it with Judge Jackson (he has since passed away, but the name still makes me shiver) so I could get out immediately. Judge Jackson proceeded to sit on that bond request for 7 weeks, thus accounting for my time in jail. Along the way it became clear that I was going to be punished as much for being a Youth Pastor who had fallen as for the crime I had committed- and I understood that. I had disappointed so many people. I finally pled guilty to a plea bargain that kept me from serving 10 years in prison, and I instead received 10 years probation. I was banned from living in south Georgia (which everyone agrees is unconstitutional, but what are you gonna' do?  We were not going to stay there in any case.). And I was branded with a label (see What's Your Sign?) that could have made me a modern day leper. I would love to complain about the severity of my punishment, but it was a mess of my own making. I ordered a mess, and I got a mess....

Somehow, the love and grace of Jesus and my family rescued my soul in the days that followed, and now I live to love them and to praise Him. This blog (and later Twitter) has played no small role in my return to society and in my desire to once again find a ministry to serve in the name of Jesus. I am still unable to travel much and I live under many restrictions- but I do live! And I await direction from God on how I can best serve Him in the next phase of my life. The responses to my posts of the past 2 days have been so amazing and grace-filled, and I cannot say "thank you" often enough or loudly enough to those who have been so kind. However, if these revelations make it uncomfortable for you to call me a friend, read this blog or follow me on Twitter anymore, I understand. Thanks for travelling with me this far. May God's love and mercy be with you always. I know it has been with me...

Because of Jesus,

Top 12 Memories: Restaurants

Over the years my youth groups visited many fine restaurants- and a whole bunch of not so fine ones as well!  Each time you take a group of teenagers into a restaurant, you can see the fear on the faces of the employees and patrons.  They expect mayhem, wildness and no tips.  We always tried to surprise them and make our time there as much fun for them as it was for us.   Today I take a look back at 12 places that were favorites of various groups for a variety of reasons.  All of them share one thing in common; we were always invited back.  I had the best students anyone could ever ask for!  So here are 12 great memories:

12)  The Jade Dragon-  Located only a block from Union Church in Hinsdale, IL, this great little Chinese place was a regular stop for meetings, lunches with students and SHO-Time.  We had a great meal there one night with the gang from Spooky Tuesday and had my farewell dinner there as well.

11)  Sonic Drive-In-  In both Tampa and Waycross we used a Sonic for a summer program called Happy Hour.  I would go sit at the tables outside and spend several hours greeting students, playing cards and drinking Cherry Limeaids.  It was always a great time of relationship building, and I miss those very hot summer days!

10)  Captain John's Seafood-  I picked this fine Calabash restaurant (a favorite since my own youth group days) to represent all of the seafood restaurants we visited in the Myrtle Beach area over the years, including the all-you-can-eat places (pictured) we favored in the later years.  Special memories include Lisa Kraus destroying an entire army of crab legs and the night I discovered half of the Springfield group didn't like seafood.  Not included in this list is White's Point.

  9)  The Roadhouse Grill/Rio Bravo-  These two Kissimmee restaurants were favorite SHO-Time spots, and we ate at both on many occasions.  We loved the queso at Rio and the bread and throwing peanut shells on the floor at Roadhouse, and both places knew us well.  Later on a Roadhouse in Clearwater became a favorite of the Wesley Memorial group.  None of those three restaurants are still in business.  I blame myself...

  8)  Dick's Wings-  This wonderful wing house became the home of our 5th Quarter "after football" events in Waycross, which drew big crowds of students on Friday nights.  You had to beware of Dick's Special Sauce- it was lethal!

  7)  The Beaches & Cream Soda Shoppe-  Located at Disney's Yacht and Beach Club Resort, this place serves great hamburgers and hot dogs- but no one cares!  They have some of the most amazing ice cream creations anywhere, and we visited often, as tourists from Springfield and as locals from Kissimmee and Tampa.  This was the home of the Kitchen Sink, and the much-missed Disney Dash Ice Cream Bash event. 

  6)  The Fireworks Factory-  Another out-of-business restaurant and the second in a trilogy of Disney eateries, we only had two meals there with youth groups.  The first already received its own post, and you can read it by clicking here.  The second was the night Marilyn and I informed everyone on the Springfield Alumni Trip in December of 1994 that she was pregnant.  A very special place.

  5)  The Cape May Cafe-  On long trips or just going over for the morning, there was no place quite like Cape May when it came to breakfast.  Both the Springfield and FUMC-K groups got to experience the wonder of this all-you-can-eat buffet that never ceases to amaze.  Plus you get to share the meal with Chip, Dale, Goofy and other Disney stars!  Located in Disney's Beach Club Resort, this one is still open for business- and I am going soon!

  4)  Lee Gardens-  Located near Wesley Memorial in Tampa, this Chinese buffet was host to us on so many occasions, and they never failed to show us a great time.  To this day when I walk in with just Marilyn they are stunned, and ask "Only 2?"  Best egg drop soup ever!

  3)  Carmine's-  This Manhattan establishment has the feel of something straight out of The Godfather.  It is a great place under any circumstance; to go there with a large group simply defies description (especially when I got to order everything in advance!).  The service, the sheer amount of food, and the desserts are all amazing.  We didn't find this place until Jill Painter's Aunt Gerry took us there in the late '90's; I didn't ever miss a chance to go there after that!

  2)  Kyotos-  Many of my former students will be stunned to see this come in at #2.  After all, no place spanned as many years of my ministry as did this Japanese steakhouse.  While at Springfield, we discovered one in Greensboro, NC, and began to plan regular group events there.  It became tradition for me to take youth there to celebrate their 16th birthdays.  When we moved to Kissimmee, we discovered one in Longwood (just north of Orlando; see picture) and began regular pilgrimages, often with huge groups of teens.  Later, we discovered one in Myrtle Beach and ate there with both the Wesley Memorial and FUMC-K groups.  So many stories, so many memories and so much food!  Also have to give a quick shout out to Kado Japanese in Tampa, which also hosted many a memorable meal!

  1)  Pizza Inn-  Although we ate at Kyotos many times over many years, for shear quantity nothing came close to Pizza Inn in High Point, NC.  It has so much meaning to so many people who were a part of the Springfield Friends Meeting youth ministry (see The Ministry of Pizza Inn), partly because at least a portion of us ate there every week- at least once a week!   No other restaurant ever had as much impact on my ministry, and we had a pretty major impact on them as well.  Congrats, Pizza Inn- you are still #1!!!

So there it is- I would love to hear your thoughts on oversights and omissions from this list.  Join me again tomorrow when the Hall of Fame makes a return trip to Springfield!

Because of Jesus,