Happy Birthday, Krispy Kreme!

Today is the 79th birthday of the Krispy Kreme doughnut. This is an auspicious occasion in my life. Even at my advanced age, it's hard to remember a time when Krispy Kreme was not a part of my life (they were in NC before they were much of anywhere else), including some fairly momentous occasions. Witness the following examples:

• We sold them by the dozen as a fundraiser for my Cub Scout pack when I was around 10 years old. Yes, I was that young once...
• In college there would often be midnight runs for hot doughnuts. Sometimes I delivered them to friends and sometimes we all piled into tiny cars and went together. One of those nights was the first time I ever met my future wife Marilyn.
• Stopping by the local 24 hour KK was a regular part of my youth group's Rec Around the Clock event for many years in many places. I particularly remember a large group standing outside the one in High Point, NC and watching the hot doughnuts roll off the conveyor belt at 5 am as we ate them by the box full.
• I once served hot glazed doughnuts and OJ as communion on a youth group beach retreat we took from Springfield Friends Meeting. There's a lot in that statement to process, since Quakers don't traditionally practice communion at all...
• I have eaten hot glazed doughnuts for LUNCH with a friend- and I am not ashamed to admit it!
• Before the KK opened in Kissimmee, FL I would sometimes drive to Orlando on Tuesday mornings so we could have fresh doughnuts for our Breakfast Club. It made me a hero to those youth brave enough to get up early for the meeting!
• I have purchased hundreds of dozens of hot doughnuts from the KK in North Myrtle Beach, SC over they years and delivered then to the Betsy B, often risking my life to get them in the house before people started ripping boxes from my arms!

There are few things in life that conjure up as many fond memories for me as Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I have eaten more than my share of chocolate cream filled and chocolate

glazed, of blueberry and of jelly filled. But there is nothing like seeing this sign, snarfing down fresh manna from heaven and licking that glorious icing off my fingers. Even now, as a diabetic, there are times when they are just totally worth the cheat. There's only one problem with today's big birthday deal, featured in the ad at the top of this post. If I got a dozen hot glazed right this minute and had them here all by myself, I would eat every stinkin' one of them! And be very, VERY happy! So go get some doughnuts today. Make your own memories. And tell them Carl sent you!

Throwback Thursday: Long Live the Betsy B!

 As I wrap up the unofficial editing of my novel this week, my thoughts have often turned to the old house in North Myrtle Beach called the Betsy B where much of the story takes place. Those thoughts led me to this Throwback Thursday post...

Way back in 2010 I received an e-mail from a woman named Amanda whose extended family was planning a trip to North Myrtle Beach the following summer. They had never been and they were looking to rent a house for a week. The realtor she dealt with recommended the Betsy B because of price and size. She googled "Betsy B" and came across my blog and the various references to the place, and e-mailed me the following question:"In your opinion, what amenities make the Betsy B such a great place?" I assumed by amenities she meant swimming pool, lazy river, golf carts, golf privileges and other things so prevalent at many NMB rentals these days. I told her it had none of those things; just a nice location and a great beach. And then I started thinking (uh-oh!). What was it that made the Betsy B such an amazing place to take a youth group (besides being the future home of my Hall of Fame!)? The answers could be found in these 7 Things:

1. The Layout-  With three floors, each with four bedrooms, there was great flexibility for sleeping arrangements. No matter the number of males and females it could always be worked out. There was also a kitchen on every floor, which gave you options (although we always kept the food on the 2nd floor so there was only one kitchen to clean each day). Three living rooms meant 3 televisions, three couches and multiple easy chairs. We could be all together for worship, or spread out for Black Thursday.  
2. Location-  The Betsy B is located in a section of NMB known as Ocean Drive. When I was younger, all of the "cool kids" and great parties were at OD. Things changed, but we could still walk to the shops and arcades of OD, or go get a snow cone or a hot dog. We were surrounded by other houses, but shared our property with no one else (most of the time). Our silliness didn't bother other people, and no one ever bothered us.

3. The Porches-  An oceanfront porch on each floor, complete with rocking chairs, made for wonderful daytime beach watching and great moments at night. Some of my favorite conversations ever took place on those porches, and so many people have such strong memories of sitting out there at night and singing or just hanging out. I wrote a number of songs sitting out there watching the moon reflect off of the Atlantic Ocean. Ahhh- the moon over the ocean...
4. The Outdoor Showers-  While there were 3 showers per floor inside the Betsy B, the most memorable ones were located outside, by the right side of the house as you came back in from the beach. Originally just open showers used to rinse off sand and ocean, they were eventually enclosed so you could take full showers. This was quite handy when everyone was trying to get ready to head out to eat or down to the Pavilion. Plus, it was a bit weird and a little exciting to talk to a naked neighbor of the opposite sex in the stall next to you as you both showered...or was that just me?
5. The Beach-  The wide, sandy beach that was located right out the back door was one of the things that made the Betsy B such a popular place. If you wanted to lay out and tan, this was your beach. If you wanted to swim or body surf, this was your beach. If you loved taking late night walks or threatening people with Sand, Water, Sand, Water, Crab, Crab, Crab! then this was your beach. It was perfection!

6. The People-  The very best thing about the house was that it gave us the space and freedom to have up to 45 of us live together for a week. I always thought of it as a youth group version of The Real World- "45 of us picked together to live in a house..." We always left the Betsy B with new experiences, better relationships and a stronger bond. From the group I grew up in at New Garden Friends, through the Springfield years and on through Kissimmee, just saying "we are going to the Betsy B" brought a smile to the faces of students. The people were what made the trips great.

7. The Stories-  The Betsy B lives on through the stories of those trips, many of them which I have shared on this blog. You can read about Moons Over Myrtle Beach, Karen Fry's Birthday Surprise, The Legend of Big K and more (check out all of the links in this post). I'll never forget Stacy's raft, Avis' "flipper," Adam's hair, Kelly's jokes or the KISS concert. I could write a book (well. actually at this point it would be ANOTHER book!) of nothing but Myrtle Beach stories- and the Betsy B would be a major character. 

So Amanda, I don't know if any of these things counted as amenities or not, as I never heard back from you in 2010. But my suggestion to her then was that she bring all of her relatives, create her own stories, and discover the magic of the Betsy B. I also told her not to damage it. Someone is going to buy it for me someday!  :)

Because of Jesus,

Throwback Thursday: The Legend of Big K

As of next week, it will be 20 years since Marilyn and I left Springfield Friends Meeting for Kissimmee, Florida. It's really hard to believe. The anniversary of the end of our 8 years of service there and the beginning of our lives at FUMC-K has me feeling quite nostalgic, and so for this Throwback Thursday I will share a post I originally shared in February of 2010. Because nothing makes me miss Springfield (or youth ministry in general) more than talking about trips...

1988 at the Betsy B

One of the first and longest-running reality TV shows is The Real World (When it began, MTV still showed music videos...). Their famous tag line that has opened the show for many years is "7 people, picked to live in a house..." The idea is that these 7 people will live life together and discover how tough it can be. We had our own "real world" experiences many times over the years, but the ones that stick out in my mind are the Myrtle Beach trips in which up to 45 of us shared a house for a week. There are many interesting stories that will be told from these adventures, but today, I want to talk about food.

In 1988, on our first trip from Springfield Friends Meeting to the Betsy B, I thought it would be smart to load the house with snacks to feed all those hungry teens. I told each of the participants to bring a sweet or salty snack to share, thinking this would last a good part of our week. I bought lots of cereal for breakfast, thinking I might have to shop one more time after our arrival. I already knew a great deal about travelling with youth, but I had yet to learn much about living with this crowd! The snacks I thought would last all week were gone by the second evening. I didn't understand that anything these kids could find, they WOULD eat! If it was in the house, it disappeared quickly. The cereal lasted through one morning. I didn't realize that guys like Jon Moran would break out the "Jethro Bowls" (mixing bowls, as used by Jetho Bodine on The Beverly Hillbillies) and eat an entire box at one sitting. Needless to say, the food budget for that week was in terrible trouble...and I wound up buying enough water, soda and lemonade to stock a 7-11. Something had to change...

The following year we returned to the Betsy B, and I this time I had a plan. I would get up each morning before anyone else was stirring and go to the local store, which was a Kroger.  I would buy all of the food and drink for THAT day. And when they ate it all, that was it- no more until the next day! I wound up buying lots of cereal and lots of snacks- Fudge Rounds, Opies (Oatmeal Creme Pies), Freeze Pops, chips and more. And I would up buying enormous amounts of Big K soda.

Big K was the Kroger brand, and it was cheap- around 49 cents for a two liter bottle. It came it pretty much every flavor imaginable, and most of them were pretty good. We liked the Lemon-Lime, Ginger Ale, Dr. K (Dr. Pepper rip-off), Root Beer, Cherry Lemon-Lime, Orange, Black Cherry and many others. One particular favorite was a bizarre little drink called Red Creme Soda. The only one we just could not stand was cola. I had to buy real Coke for the cola drinkers. Every morning I would visit the store and purchase 10-20 two liter bottles of Big K. And every day we would drink most of them. We would go through 80-100 bottles in a week. I became a legend in that store- every day the workers would gather to see how much I was buying FOR THAT DAY! It was amazing. People became fierce defenders of their favorite flavors. At one point on the Beach Break '89 video Heather Beggs says to Russell Farlow  "We love Big K, don't we Russell?" His response is classic. He lets out a very happy sigh, throws his head back and yells "UH-HUH!!!" He spoke for many of us.

Like so many things in student ministry, Big K was only special because of the people and the place. I never bought it to use in my home or anyplace else. It was simply part of the experience of our own little Real World. Over the years it helped us survive some Black Thursdays, some relationship nightmares, and more than a few long nights on the porch singing. Big K was never all that good- but when we were sharing life together as one big "family of God," it was as good as it gets.

Because of Jesus,

Hall of Fame: Martha Ratledge Farlow

Martha in the Pot Sink...again!

I'm praying for my friend Ashley Goad (another QLC counselor, albeit from a far different generation than mine!) today as she and her team head back to Haiti, Many blessings, Prudence!

When I think about my humble beginnings in youth ministry, it's very easy to trace my roots back to Martha Ratledge Farlow.  Martha was a grade ahead of me in school and was an active participant in the youth group at New Garden Friends Meeting when I got involved in the 8th grade. As the years went by she sang in the school chorus with me, acted in plays with me (she was a remarkable Reno Sweeney in Anything Goes!) and was part of the thriving Young Life community that became very important in my life. She dated my best friend Steve for a time (and later on my other best friend Alan). And she was always a good friend to me.  By the time she joined the Quaker Lake Camp summer staff upon her graduation in 1976, she was already a big part of my life.  Little did I know that she had only just begun to influence me...

Martha was the music leader at QLC in my early years of volunteering and working summer staff, and so much of what became my own "style" of leading music with youth came from watching her in action.  That's not to say that we didn't harass her...we did, OFTEN! We would sing the words to The George Fox Song when she was playing Simple Gifts. We made up parts to songs to get the campers fired up and quite often a little out of control. We even tried to create our own song sheets full of songs she didn't like- see Project Myrtle. We did not make things easy on our friend, but we loved her. Even after I began to accompany her with my guitar, I was often more trouble than I was worth. But Martha always supported me.  Martha was a wonderful musician; I was (and still am) a hacker. I can still see her tilting her head or pulling on her ear when either my guitar or the singing was out of tune. I can also still hear her singing Boy From the Country, totally ruining the John Denver version because her's was so much better. She had patience, and taught me so many songs that were part of my own ministry in the early years. And she and I loved singing together. I have great memories of us standing around the dishwasher and harmonizing to Rollin' In My Sweet Baby's Arms or My Angel Baby or murdering the lyrics to to old classic Camptown Races- "Camptown ladies 5 miles long? Oh the do-dah day!" (Side note: My Angel Baby was a one hit wonder by a band called Toby Beau. It's not on I-Tunes and I can't find it anywhere. It you find it, PLEASE let me know. I want it badly!) We fussed, we argued. we laughed and we had a ball together.  And that was good, because we were about to get even more time together.

In 1979 Martha and I became the youth leaders at our home meeting, New Garden.  It was something we both loved, but again, Martha put up with a lot. I was always making wild suggestions and trying to get her to do crazy stuff. She was organized and a bit more serious. I kept telling her not to worry and that things "didn't matter."  I made her a little crazy at times, but we were a good combination for the youth we served. In 1980 she had an idea to plan a beach weekend for our old youth group friends, and so we did. The first year we had a blast; the second year we changed houses and found a little place called the Betsy B. Every youth group I led in later years should be thankful to Martha for discovering it!

Martha worked 6 summers at camp and went on to marry Mark Farlow, another QLC staff member, and to have 3 kids. Her family has remained involved, with Martha serving as the chairperson of the QLC Board for a number of years and volunteering at camp.  In fact, the last time I was at camp for a week as camp pastor in 2006, Martha was volunteering, Mark was around a bit, her son Carl (named after his grandfather, but Carl Semmler and I both still dispute that!) was on staff and her son Jacob was a high school camper. One of the highlights of the week for me was getting to play guitars and lead music with Martha once again.  It felt like things had come full circle.

So today it gives me great joy to make Martha Ratledge Farlow a part of my youth ministry Hall of Fame. She was there at the beginning and taught me so much (including hidden gems like not drinking milk for breakfast when you are singing in church- it builds phlegm!). And I have to admit that every now and then, when I hear an out-of-tune guitar or someone hit a real clunker of a note while singing, I tilt my head, pull on my ear, and smile.  Martha is always with me. Like any great friend...

Because of Jesus,

The Betsy B Revisited

Labor Day weekend is upon us, and with its arrival my thoughts always turn to the beach.  Even though I live in Florida, in my mind there is only one beach that matters- Myrtle Beach. And since my travel is extremely limited these days, my beach trips are confined to my mind to the many great memories from over the years. I have shared these thoughts with you before, but they seem very appropriate again today.  It's time for another trip to the Betsy B.

The Betsy B is just a building.  I know this is a true statement, but it somehow does not do the "old girl" justice.  For too many years- from 1981 until 2000- she was a huge part of my life and ministry.  Today I want to tell you our story.

In 1980, Martha Ratledge Farlow and I were working as youth leaders at New Garden Friends Meeting, and we decided to put together a reunion for the folks we had been in youth group with during our high school days.  We researched and found a house at North Myrtle Beach, and we rented it.  The following year we did it again, but decided on a different house, oceanfront in the Ocean Drive section of NMB.  This house was The Betsy B.  The "B" (pictured above) is a three story house, and each level is rented separately.  Each level sleeps 14, as long as you really like each other! In those days we never needed the whole thing, so we often had neighbors.  There is nothing fancy about the "B."  In fact, after doing the reunion there a couple of years, some of our group wanted to stay at a nicer place, so we quit using it.  

In 1988, the summer after our first Walt Disney World trip from Springfield Friends Meeting, we decided to take the group to NMB.  I called about the "B" only to discover that the realty company no longer rented to groups or house parties.  After some negotiating, they agreed to "grandfather" me in.  We could rent the house; but if we ever messed anything up it would be the last time we would stay there.  We stayed at the "B" in '88 and '89 with Springfield, and returned in 1995, 1997, and 1999 with First UMC-Kissimmee. The highlight of The Betsy B for me was the same no matter which group I was with-  I loved that you could sit on the big wrap-around oceanfront porches any time of day and see amazing things.  During the day I could see the crowded beach, the beautiful Atlantic Ocean and the bright sunshine while the kids' boom boxes blasted out great music (except for the year the guys were obsessed with Guns'n'Roses).  At night I could sit out on the porch and see the moon reflect off the ocean, or watch amazing thunderstorms out at sea.  I could sit quietly and wait in the cool ocean breeze and eventually youth would come out to sit and talk about life, faith, relationships and heartache.  I could take my guitar out and began to play and write songs, and eventually a crowd would come out for some spontaneous singing and worship.  Students tell me quite often that their favorite memory of our youth ministry was singing with me on the porch of The Betsy B.  Those times are near the top of my list as well.

The Betsy B was so important to so many of us that Jim & Karen Fry, who chaperoned several of the Kissimmee groups, started taking their own kids and their friends after I left for Chicago.  They were still able to use my "grandfather" status- a real testament to all the kids who kept our reputation in place over the years.  Marilyn, Will and I came down from Illinois and joined them in 2000- my last trip to the "B."  I miss the place, but the memories are rich and plentiful.  And I haven't given up hope that one of you will decide to buy it for us so I can put my Hall of Fame there someday...

I have written here many times over the past 3 years how important trips were to my youth ministries.  Just the mention of the Betsy B brings a smile to the face of anyone who ever went.  The memories are priceless.  I'd love to hear some of yours.  In the meantime, have a safe and blessed Labor Day weekend. 

Because of Jesus,

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction #2

That's Kendall in front, squatting in the blue shirt-
but not at Myrtle Beach!

When you work in the field of student ministry, there are many glorious moments.  You get to see teenagers and occasionally entire families come to know Jesus.  You get to experience programs that actually teach; games the youth actually enjoy; and be part of events and trips that help your students understand what it means to truly be a part of the family of God.  These are moments that make the effort and sacrifice all worthwhile.  But there are other times...MANY other times...when you are left scratching your head and wondering why it was God chose you to work with teenagers!  Today, I give you the curious case of Kendall Crotty...

The Betsy B

Sometime in the late 1990's I took a group from the First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee on one of our fabled trips to North Myrtle Beach and the fabulous Betsy B! We were there for week and had our usual fabulous time of sun, fun, food and fellowship.  With us on this particular trips was a middle school student named Kendall Crotty. Kendall had been with us for a couple of years, following in the footsteps of legendary older brother Wayne.  Their grandparents were legendary church members and great supporters of the student ministry, and the sewage treatment kings of Kissimmee. Kendall had established himself as a force to be reckoned with a few years earlier on our mystery trip to Myrtle Beach when his mom (who wasn't supposed to) told him where we were going and he told everyone else, successfully ending the mystery before we ever left the church parking lot.  This particular trip was fairly uneventful for Kendall with one exception.  He wore the same t-shirt every day.  Now it is not unusual on such trips for students to wear the same shirt around the house or out to the beach, but our hero wore it every where- out to dinner, downtown to the Pavilion and anyplace else we went.  Our NUMEROUS suggestions that he he try a new shirt were to no avail.  And so we all suffered with the shirt.


Saturday morning came and we began the always sad task of cleaning the Betsy B and preparing to head home.  Kendall, much to our surprise (and joy!), was wearing a clean shirt for the van ride home.  As we gathered the scattered swim suits, towels and flip-flops and tried to determine who they belonged to, someone discovered on one of the oceanfront porches the shirt Kendall had worn everyday that week.  They brought it to him and tried to give it to him, but he refused it.  He said it wasn't his.  The entire group reminded him he had worn it everyday that week, but he told us we were mistaken.  He was adamant that it was not his shirt. We began to remind him of how many times we had ragged on him trying to get him to change OUT of the shirt, but he held fast.  He simply refused to admit it was his.  One of the guys wound up hanging the shirt from the front balcony as a flag, reminding the world of our week together.  As we pulled out and headed home, Kendall was STILL denying ever having seen that shirt.  It was just totally beyond belief.


Youth ministry is like that.  Even in the midst of an amazing trip, there was this totally irrational, completely ridiculous behavior by one of our fine young men.  I was at a total loss to explain it.  It really didn't matter, yet he denied it to the end.  Working with teenagers is never simple, it is never cut and dried, and it is never normal. But it is always memorable and it is always special.  And that, my friends, is why I loved it for nearly 30 years.  Kendall, wherever you are- that shirt was yours!  Claim it!!!!


Because of Jesus,

Abreadcrumb & Fish

In July of 2002 the student ministry of the Wesley Memorial UMC headed out on their first trip to North Myrtle Beach, SC.  We had a great group of kids, some outstanding adult leadership (Hal & Joanne Gastler)  and lots of genuine excitement.  To make things even better, 3 of my favorite FUMC-Kissimmee youth- Adam Hill, Josh Fry and Sarah Crudele- joined us.  I was excited to have them along to help show my new youth group "The Carl Way."   The Betsy B was no long available, so I found another Ocean Drive beach house to rent.  It was brand new and had many more amenities than the Betsy B, but it was not oceanfront.  We had a great trip with lots of great moments.  But it was very different because of how nice the house was.  Sound odd?  Let me try to explain...

North Myrtle Beach is a very special place to me.  My family would camp there for a couple of weeks each summer when I was a kid.  I travelled there with friends as a high school and college student.  My youth group took trips there.  When I started as a youth director at New Garden Friends Meeting in 1979, we started taking trips to NMB.  For the next 20+ years I often spent at least one week every summer there with youth groups and my family.  For all of those years the main attraction was always the beach.  Wide, sandy and beautiful with just the right amount of waves, we would be out on the beach or in the Atlantic for hours every day.   And we loved it.



Sean Bell & Nina Mock enjoy the pool table.

In 2002 we stayed at the beautiful new Ocean Surf Club (see picture at top).  We had TV and stereo in the house.  We had use of golf carts we could use to explore the little village of Ocean Drive.  We had a billiards table in the house.  And we had to cross Ocean Blvd. to get to the beach.  All of those things, plus a bit of rainy weather, turned the group into land-lovers.  They just didn't go to the beach.  They watched movies, played pool, explored the local shops and hung out.  A couple of the guys (Ken & Philip?) got pulled for illegally driving a gold cart on the street (it wasn't their fault; the realtor had told us it was OK).  We played mini-golf and went to the Pavilion.  We ate great food.  They had a great time.  But it all seemed so odd to me that I wasn't convinced they were having any fun.  Finally toward the end of the week it got warmer and sunny and we spent more time in the ocean.  The trip accomplished much of what I wanted it to- relationship building and gaining the trust of the students.  I just wasn't sure they thought the trip was great.  And I wanted it to be great.  I needed it to be a culture changing event for our youth ministry.

A few weeks later at our regular Sunday evening youth fellowship I was presented with a gift.  The students who presented it said it was a "thank you" for taking the group on that trip. It was a t-shirt that read, Abreadcrumb & Fish- He Still Works Miracles.  The scripture from Matthew 15:36-38 was also included.  Those youth will never know how much that meant to me.  No one had had ever given me a gift simply for planning a trip.  They fact that they had spent their own money to buy it while we were in NMB made it even better.  After being in Tampa for 9 months, I finally felt like I was a part of the family.  Acceptance is a wonderful thing.  At last, things in the student ministry were getting ready to take off.  Graceland was coming...

Because of Jesus,

7 Things: My Favorite Youth Ministry Destinations

I was going to blog today about the Wesley Memorial UMC student ministry's 2002 trip to Myrtle Beach today- but other memories side-tracked me.  Maybe I'll get to that Wednesday.  It's my friend Jason Huffman's fault.  He is currently on a ski trip with his youth group, and I find myself really missing youth trips.  Badly.  So today I share with you 7 places (in no particular order) I would rather be than here- as long as I had a bunch of uth to travel with me.  Here we go!

1. The Betsy B-  Stories of this 3-level ocean front house in North Myrtle Beach, SC are all over this blog, so I will simply refer you to 7 Things: The Betsy B for more complete info.  The first time I stayed there with a group was 1980; the final time was 2000.  And for those of you who may be unaware, when one of my very wealthy former youth or youth counselors decides to buy it for me it will be the official home of my Youth Group Hall of Fame.
2. The Milford Plaza Hotel-  Located in the heart of Manhattan, the "Lullaby of Broadway" was our home away from home in New York City for every trip between 1989 and 2005.  The rooms were tiny (and we put 4 people in them), the radiators nearly killed me on several occasions and you never knew who might follow you back to the hotel when you were out walking- but I wouldn't have wanted to stay anywhere else.  An added bonus was the Celebrity Deli in the basement, which served the Celebrity Cheesecake- half cheesecake, half chocolate mousse.  Heaven!  For pictures of our many New York adventures, check out our slide show by clicking here.
3. The Caribbean Beach Resort-  Our home for the amazing 1993 trip to Walt Disney World we took from Springfield Friends Meeting. To see 7 Things: The Magic Tour Edition click this link-  Aruuuuuubaaaaa!
 
 



Sara, Jill & Sandi at the Ocoee Inn


4. The Ocoee Inn- We had several Mid-High Adventures in the 1990s which included rafting trips down the Ocoee River in Tennessee. We would always spend at least one night at the Ocoee Inn, which was...uh....rustic. Yeah, I'll go with rustic! :) But we loved that place and the giant bugs in our cabins, the collapsing beds and the dock where we would sing and worship at night (see picture).  And who could forget our skinny-dipping intern!  I REALLY hate my wife never got to stay there. She doesn't...but I do!




Spanish Wells, 1997


5. Spanish Wells, the Bahamas-  A tiny little island full of the nicest people and best food you will ever find anywhere.  We sent 2 mission teams there from Kissimmee, plus Marilyn and I went to lead some workshops on another occasion. I want some fresh lobster and mango now, please!  For more, check out 7 Things: Spanish Wells.
6. The Cracker Barrel- When we went skiing from FUMC-Kissimmee we usually went to Winterplace Ski Resort in West Virginia. Our motels (they varied) were in Princeton, WV and were located near a Cracker Barrel. We had some great group meals there, and some great Youth Counselor breakfasts.  Dr. Jill Painter Watson always made me buy her a chocolate cobbler as payment for her medical services on the trip.  Awesome memories.




Last Gasp, 1997 (?)


7. Melbourne Beach, FL-  Home of FUMC-K's world famous Last Gasp Summer Blowouts from 1994-1999.  So many incredible memories, so many incredible people, and some of the best worship services I have ever been a part of.  Again, to relive some of the memories visit 7 Things: Last Gasp Summer Blowout.  I'm ready to do it all over again!

7 great places.  More amazing moments that I can possibly remember.  It is kind of painful to know I will never take those trips again, but God has blessed me with enough memories to last a lifetime.  And someday, when Cindy Martin wins the lottery and buys me the Betsy B, I want every single one of you to be there when we open the Hall of Fame!  Deal?

Because of Jesus,

7 Things: The Betsy B

Earlier this week I received an e-mail from a woman named Amanda whose extended family is planning a trip to North Myrtle Beach next summer.  They have never been, and they are looking to rent a house for a week.  The realtor she is dealing with recommended the Betsy B because of price and size.  She googled "Betsy B" and came across my blog and the various references to the place, and e-mailed me the following question:  "In your opinion, what amenities make the Betsy B such a great place?"  I assumed by amenities she meant swimming pool, lazy river, golf carts, golf privileges and other things so prevalent at many NMB rentals these days.  I told her it had none of those things; just a nice location and a great beach.  And then I started thinking (uh-oh!).  What was it that made the Betsy B such an amazing place to take a youth group (besides being the future home of my Hall of Fame!)?  The answers can be found in these 7 Things:

1. The Layout-  With three floors, each with four bedrooms, there was great flexibility for sleeping arrangements.  No matter the number of males and females it could always be worked out.  There was also a kitchen on every floor, which gave you options (although we always kept the food on the 2nd floor so there was only one kitchen to clean each day).  Three living rooms meant 3 televisions, three couches and multiple easy chairs.  We could be all together for worship, or spread out for Black Thursday. 
2. Location-  The Betsy B is located in a section of NMB known as Ocean Drive.  When I was younger, all of the "cool kids" and great parties were at OD.  Things changed, but we could still walk to the shops and arcades of OD, or go get a snow cone or a hot dog.  We were surrounded by other houses, but shared our property with no one else (most of the time).  Our silliness didn't bother other people, and no one ever bothered us.

3. The Porches-  An oceanfront porch on each floor, complete with rocking chairs, made for wonderful daytime beach watching and great moments at night.  Some of my favorite conversations ever took place on those porches, and so many people have such strong memories of sitting out there at night and singing or just hanging out.  I wrote a number of songs sitting out there watching the moon reflect off of the Atlantic Ocean.  Ahhh- the moon over the ocean...
4. The Outdoor Showers-  While there were 3 showers per floor inside the Betsy B, the most memorable ones were located outside, by the right side of the house as you came back in from the beach.  Originally just open showers used to rinse off sand and ocean, they were eventually enclosed so you could take full showers.  This was quite handy when everyone was trying to get ready to head out to eat or down to the Pavilion.  Plus, it was a bit weird and a little exciting to talk to a naked neighbor of the opposite sex in the stall next to you as you both showered...or was that just me?
5. The Beach-  The wide, sandy beach that was located right out the back door was one of the things that made the Betsy B such a popular place.  If you wanted to lay out and tan, this was your beach.  If you wanted to swim or body surf, this was your beach.  If you loved taking late night walks or threatening people with Sand, Water, Sand, Water, Crab, Crab, Crab! then this was your beach.  It was perfection!

6. The People-  The very best thing about the house was that it gave us the space and freedom to have up to 45 of us live together for a week.  I always thought of it as a Christian version of The Real World- "45 of us picked together to live in a house..."  We always left the Betsy B with new experiences, better relationships and a stronger bond.  From the group I grew up in at New Garden Friends, through the Springfield years and on through Kissimmee, just saying "we are going to the Betsy B" brought a smile to the faces of my students.  The people were what made the trips great.

7. The Stories-  The Betsy B lives on through the stories of those trips, many of them which I have shared on this blog.  You can read about Moons Over Myrtle Beach, Karen Fry's Birthday Surprise, The Legend of Big K and more (check out all of the links in this post).  I'll never forget Stacy's raft, Avis' "flipper," Adam's hair, Kelly's jokes or the KISS concert.  I could write a book of nothing but Myrtle Beach stories- and the Betsy B would be a major character.

So Amanda, I don't know if any of these things count as amenities or not.  But my suggestion to you would be bring all your relatives, create your own stories, and discover the magic of the Betsy B.  Just don't damage it.  Someone is going to buy it for me someday!  :)

Because of Jesus,

A Gift For Karen

Just Me & the Dog, Day 9-  Thanks to Jamie Robinson and Teresa Tysinger for playing along in yesterday's contest- your SPAM is in the mail!  Mom came yesterday, took me to Red Lobster for lunch.  It's not Calabash, but it will do!  Have appointments today and tomorrow, so I will keep the buses busy!  I appreciate everyone who has been asking about me during this "alone" time- Marilyn and Will get back Thursday night!  Whoooooo-hoooooo!!!

During my years in Kissimmee we had an outstanding Youth Ministry Team, and no one was a bigger part of it that Karen Fry (pictured above at my 50th birthday party, in the middle wearing the white top).  The mother of James, Jason and Josh (and wife of Jim), Karen worked for the county schools as a "Lunch Lady (cue Adam Sandler song)."  That meant she had summers off, or would have if she hadn't volunteered such huge blocks of time to be with us.  She and Jim loved going with us to the Betsy B. in Myrtle Beach, and in 1997 they were with us there for Karen's birthday.

You may know about Black Thursday (or you can read about it by clicking here), but the basic concept is that on any youth trip there will come a time when people get tired of each other and tempers may flair.  June 19, 1997 (unless I am wrong about the date, which is entirely possible!) happened to be the Thursday of our beach trip, and it also happened to be Karen's birthday.  We combined the two into one big Black Thursday Birthday surprise!!!

Karen was in the kitchen of the Betsy B. fixing her world famous "spaghetti for 45" when the excitement began.  The details have long since slipped my mind, but somehow we had it set-up for Nate Hill and Ben Thompson to begin to argue just outside the kitchen.  As Karen cooked away, the guys became more animated and the conversation grew more heated.  Suddenly, right under Karen's nose, Black Thursday broke out.  The boys were fighting.  One of them (Ben I believe) was bleeding (it was actually fake blood we had planted in his mouth).  Several of us rushed in to break it up, as Karen looked on, completely distraught.  As it all broke up, several of the group turned to Karen and told her that we knew how much she looked forward to Black Thursday, and that this our birthday gift to her.  Everyone was now laughing, including Karen, who realized she had been pranked!  The evening continued with no further incidents and a wonderful spaghetti dinner.  It was a most memorable night- if memory serves it was also the night I wrote Too Many Reeps...

Marilyn and I think the world of Jim & Karen Fry, and so did all of the youth.  Karen is a perfect example of how much impact you can have in the lives of teenagers without trying to be "cool" or "hip."  She was simply Karen- mother of 3 and school lunch lady.  And the youth loved her so much.  It was indeed special to have them at my 50th birthday celebration, and they were nice- no pranks!  Nate is now finishing law school, and Ben is serving his country in Afghanistan.  But if they need something to fall back on, they should consider acting.  They certainly deserved OSCARS that night!

Because of Jesus,

Moons Over Myrtle Beach

Mooning- the art of dropping your pants and showing people your rear end- has been around for a very long time. It is a staple of teenage rebellion, a tradition that dates back at least as far as my parents' generation. There is just something exciting about surprising someone with your bare bottom, and yet it truly harms no one, even as it offends many. We have all seen bums before; as far as I know most of us have one of our own! Over my years in student ministry I saw many a moon. Some came from our youth; others came from teens who were mooning our kids. I have known habitual mooners, guys who would drop their pants in most any situation if given the slightest encouragement. Four young men from Kissimmee once mooned Jerry and I as we entered our hotel room in New York; there is photographic eveidence of this event, taken by Andrew Rogers (that picture will not be seen here, now or any other time!). I once had a young man in my group in Tampa who proudly announced his intention to moon someone in all 50 states, and at least one nun. Love it or hate it, mooning is a part of the adolescent culture. My only rule was that it not be done from the church van or bus with our name on the side. Even youth pastors have standards!

There was one occasion on which I had to intervene in an episode involving mooning. In 1999 the group from FUMC-K was spending a week at the Betsy B in Myrtle Beach. The Betsy B was an oceanfront house, with a small bridge leading from the house through some sand dunes and onto the beach. I began to hear reports that at night, as people headed out to walk on the beach, they were getting mooned by our own group. The report that I received indicated that it was two of our young women who were in charge of these ambushes. This seemed odd to me, as I had not enountered that many female mooners. I went out to see for myself what was happening, and sure enough- Colleen Martin (bottom left) and Chrissy Weaver (top right) aided and encouraged by a few others, were the offenders. They were having so much fun that they seemed a bit out of control, as if they would have shown their butts to anyone who happened by! I knew I needed to say something.

I pulled Chrissy aside (maybe Colleen too, but I specifically remember Chrissy) and began to explain some of the logic of mooning as I understood it. Guys liked to moon other guys to surprise them and gross them out. Guys liked mooning girls because it made them blush and scream things like, "GROSS!" I told them I did not know how females felt when mooned by other girls. But there was one thing I was certain of- when girls show their bottoms to guys, guys are not embarrassed or grossed out. Guys do not run away. When girls moon guys, GUYS LIKE IT! This piece of ancient wisdom seemed to do the trick; the mooning slowed was down after that. Sometimes our knowledge of the strangest things can come in handy...

A year or so later, outside of Chicago, I was mooned by a bunch of teens riding a bus; there must have a dozen butts sticking out of the windows at once. It was then, as I was being mooned by the youth group of the St. James Presbyterian Church, that I realized my rule forbiding mooning from the church bus had been a good one indeed! I offered a prayer for their youth minister...and I laughed. Every moon reminds me of those moons over Myrtle Beach!

Because of Jesus,

The Legend of Big K

One of the first and longest-running reality TV shows is The Real World (When it began, MTV still showed music videos...). Their famous tag line that has opened the show for many years is "7 people, picked to live in a house..."  The idea is that these 7 people will live life together and discover how tough it can be.  We had our own "real world" experiences many times over the years, but the ones that stick out in my mind are the Myrtle Beach trips in which up to 45 of us shared a house for a week.  There are many interesting stories that will be told from these adventures, but today, I want to talk about food.

In 1988, on our first trip from Springfield Friends Meeting to the Betsy B, I thought it would be smart to load the house with snacks to feed all those hungry teens.  I told each of the participants to bring a sweet or salty snack to share, thinking this would last a good part of our week.  I bought lots of cereal for breakfast, thinking I might have to shop one more time after our arrival.  I already knew a great deal about travelling with youth, but I had yet to learn much about living with them!  The snacks I thought would last all week were gone by the second evening.  I didn't understand that anything these kids could find, they WOULD eat!  If it was in the house, it disappeared quickly.  The cereal lasted through one morning.  I didn't realize that guys like Jon Moran would break out the "Jethro Bowls" (mixing bowls, as used by Jetho Bodine on The Beverly Hillbillies) and eat an entire box at one sitting.  Needless to say, the food budget for that week was in terrible trouble...and I wound up buying enough water, soda and lemonade to stock a 7-11.  Something had to change...

The following year we returned to the Betsy B, and I this time I had a plan.  I would get up each morning before anyone else was stirring and go to the local store, which was a Kroger.  I would buy all of the food and drink for THAT day.  And when they ate it all, that was it- no more until the next day!  I wound up buying lots of cereal and lots of snacks- Fudge Rounds, Opies (Oatmeal Creme Pies), Freeze Pops, chips and more.  And I would up buying enormous amounts of Big K soda.

Big K was the Kroger brand, and it was cheap- around 49 cents for a two liter bottle.  It came it pretty much every flavor imaginable, and most of them were pretty good.  We liked the Lemon-Lime, Ginger Ale, Dr. K (Dr. Pepper rip-off), Root Beer, Cherry Lemon-Lime, Orange, Black Cherry and many others.  One particular favorite was a bizarre little drink called Red Creme Soda.  The only one we just could not stand was cola.  I had to buy real Coke for the cola drinkers.  Every morning I would visit the store and purchase 10-20 two liter bottles of Big K.  And every day we would drink most of them.  We would go through 80-100 bottles in a week. I became a legend in that store- every day the workers would gather to see how much I was buying FOR THAT DAY!  It was amazing.  People became fierce defenders of their favorite flavors.  At one point on the Beach Break '89 video I have, Heather Beggs says to Russell Farlow  "We love Big K, don't we Russell?"  His response is classic.  He lets out a very happy sigh, throws his head back and yells "UH-HUH!!!"    He spoke for many of us.

Like so many things in student ministry, Big K was only special because of the people and the place.  I never bought it to use in my home or anyplace else.  It was simply part of the experience of our own little "Real World."  Over the years it helped us survive some Black Thursdays, some relationship nightmares, and more than a few long nights on the porch singing.  Big K was never all that good- but when we were sharing life together as one big "family of God," it was as good as it gets.

Because of Jesus,

The Betsy B

The Betsy B is just a building. I know this is a true statement, but it somehow does not do the "old girl" justice. For too many years- from 1981 until 2000- she was a huge part of my life and ministry. Today I want to tell you our story.

In 1980, Martha Ratledge Farlow and I were working as youth leaders at New Garden Friends Meeting, and we decided to put together a reunion for the folks we had been in youth group with during our high school days. We researched and found a house at North Myrtle Beach, and we rented it. The following year we did it again, but decided on a different house, oceanfront in the Ocean Drive section of NMB. This house was The Betsy B. The "B" is a three story house, and each level is rented separately. Each level sleeps 14, as long as you really like each other! In those days we never needed the whole thing, so we often had neighbors. There is nothing fancy about the "B." In fact, after doing the reunion there a couple of years, some of our group wanted to stay at a nicer place, so we quit using it.  

In 1988, the summer after our first Walt Disney World trip from Springfield Friends Meeting, we decided to take the group to NMB. I called about the "B" only to discover that the realty company no longer rented to groups or house parties. After some negotiating, they agreed to "grandfather" me in. We could rent the house; but if we ever messed anything up it would be the last time we would stay there. We stayed at the "B" in '88 and '89 with Springfield, and returned in 1995, 1997, and 1999 with First UMC-Kissimmee. All of those trips are filled with memorable stories that you will read about later. The highlight of The Betsy B for me was the same no matter which group I was with.  I loved that you could sit on the big wrap-around oceanfront porches any time of day and see amazing things. During the day I could see the crowded beach, the beautiful Atlantic Ocean and the bright sunshine while the kids' boom boxes blasted out great music. At night I could sit out on the porch and see the moon reflect off the ocean, or watch amazing thunderstorms out at sea. I could sit quietly and wait in the cool ocean breeze and eventually youth would come out to sit and talk about life, faith, relationships and heartache. I could take my guitar out and began to play and write songs, and eventually a crowd would come out for some spontaneous worship. Students tell me quite often that their favorite memory of our youth ministry was singing with me on the porch of The Betsy B. It's near the top of my list as well.

The Betsy B was so important to so many of us that Jim & Karen Fry, who chaperoned several of the Kissimmee groups, started taking their own kids and their friends after I left for Chicago. They were still able to use my "grandfather" status- a real testament to all the kids who kept our reputation in place over the years. Marilyn, Will and I came down from Illinois and joined them in 2000- my last trip to the "B." I miss the place, but the memories are rich and plentiful. And I haven't given up hope that one of you will decide to buy it for us so I can put my Hall of Fame there someday...

Because of Jesus,