21

July 4th @ Margaritaville  (BTW- the beard is now history!)

Will Jones turns 21 today. Our little boy has grown into a fine young man. He's a loving son, an honor student, a faithful boyfriend and a caring friend. He has has always (well...MOST always!) been a joy to be around, but I have never enjoyed his company more that I do today. We are much alike in so many ways. We share passions for music, movies and grand romantic gestures. We are of one mind when it comes to the politics of the day. And we both believe there are few things in life better than a good sausage gravy!

Tonight we will celebrate this momentous occasion with a dinner with family and friends at Maggianos. It is hard to believe 21 years have passed since Will joined our family, but it is even harder to remember that there was a time before that. I could not be more proud of the man he has become and the son he has always been. We all know that the bond between  mother and son is always special, and Will and Marilyn certainly share that unique connection. I am just so thankful to be able to say that he and I have something very special as well. I love you buddy, and can't wait to see what then next chapters of life have in store for you. Have a wonderful weekend of celebrations!!!

Dad

Happy Birthday, Krispy Kreme!

Today is the 79th birthday of the Krispy Kreme doughnut. This is an auspicious occasion in my life. Even at my advanced age, it's hard to remember a time when Krispy Kreme was not a part of my life (they were in NC before they were much of anywhere else), including some fairly momentous occasions. Witness the following examples:

• We sold them by the dozen as a fundraiser for my Cub Scout pack when I was around 10 years old. Yes, I was that young once...
• In college there would often be midnight runs for hot doughnuts. Sometimes I delivered them to friends and sometimes we all piled into tiny cars and went together. One of those nights was the first time I ever met my future wife Marilyn.
• Stopping by the local 24 hour KK was a regular part of my youth group's Rec Around the Clock event for many years in many places. I particularly remember a large group standing outside the one in High Point, NC and watching the hot doughnuts roll off the conveyor belt at 5 am as we ate them by the box full.
• I once served hot glazed doughnuts and OJ as communion on a youth group beach retreat we took from Springfield Friends Meeting. There's a lot in that statement to process, since Quakers don't traditionally practice communion at all...
• I have eaten hot glazed doughnuts for LUNCH with a friend- and I am not ashamed to admit it!
• Before the KK opened in Kissimmee, FL I would sometimes drive to Orlando on Tuesday mornings so we could have fresh doughnuts for our Breakfast Club. It made me a hero to those youth brave enough to get up early for the meeting!
• I have purchased hundreds of dozens of hot doughnuts from the KK in North Myrtle Beach, SC over they years and delivered then to the Betsy B, often risking my life to get them in the house before people started ripping boxes from my arms!

There are few things in life that conjure up as many fond memories for me as Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I have eaten more than my share of chocolate cream filled and chocolate

glazed, of blueberry and of jelly filled. But there is nothing like seeing this sign, snarfing down fresh manna from heaven and licking that glorious icing off my fingers. Even now, as a diabetic, there are times when they are just totally worth the cheat. There's only one problem with today's big birthday deal, featured in the ad at the top of this post. If I got a dozen hot glazed right this minute and had them here all by myself, I would eat every stinkin' one of them! And be very, VERY happy! So go get some doughnuts today. Make your own memories. And tell them Carl sent you!

Let It Shine

Every now and then the lyrics to an old familiar song jump off of my iPod and smack me upside the head, bringing some clarity to feelings or thoughts I might be struggling with at any given time. Yesterday featured one of those moments. The song was There's A Place In the World For A Gambler by my old favorite Dan Fogelberg, and these were the words that hit home. No further explanation is needed.

There's a light in the depths of your darkness,

There's a calm at the eye of every storm.

There's a light in the depths of your darkness...

Let it shine, oh let it shine!

Now if only I can heed Dan's advice...

The Hogwarts School of Youth Ministry

Bob in Spanish Wells, 1997

This post was first shared in May of 2014. I share it again on this Flashback Friday in it's original format (slightly edited) for a couple of reasons. One, I was recently asked once again how we were able to do all we did in our student ministries and this post is my favorite answer. Two, I wanted you to see the original comments. And three, I have been talking with a lot of old Kissimmee friends these past few weeks. It got me thinking about the good old days...

"Most folks these days don't have enough faith to see that God's magic is happening all around them..."

I have a dear friend named Jennifer Kuramochi. Some of you know her her Jennifer Minnigan; still others simply as Bob. You can read about her days in the youth ministries of the First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee in many posts on this site, including The Legend of Bob, which is her entry into my Hall of Fame! So anyway...Jen and I are still friends. We were talking a few weeks back and she was telling me that whenever she recounts stories from her youth group days people are often in disbelief of all that we were able to do. Her husband Jun just shakes his head in wonder at the fact that a church youth group was able to go places like Spanish Wells, New York City and Myrtle Beach- not to mention the speakers, the concerts, the mission trips and the day trips. We got a lot of that same reaction at the FUMC-K reunion last year. Jennifer told me that once when asked how we were able to do all that we did, she thought for moment and responded, "I'm not sure. I think maybe Carl was part Wizard!" 

One of my favorite places on Walt Disney World property was The Beaches and Cream Soda Shoppe. I remember not only the great meals and the oh-so-decadent banana split pictured here, but also all the times times we were there with so many old friends and youth groups. This, after all, was the home of the Disney Dash Ice Cream Bash! One of those memories concerns the time in 1993 a group of us from Springfield Friends Meeting headed over mid-afternoon one day to get an ice cream fix and wound up singing Hopelessly Devoted to the other patrons of the restaurant (click But Now for the whole story!). That memory got me thinking more about that amazing '93 trip to WDW, stories of which were told here on this blog under the label Magic Tour back in 2010- and it took me 20 posts! Each of the nearly 50 participants had a 5-day park hopper pass. We stayed at Disney's Caribbean Beach Resort. We ate at some of the finest restaurants on property, and saw both the Hoop-de-doo Musical Revue and Polynesian Luau dinner shows. We were special (and featured!) guests at Pleasure Island's Comedy Warehouse. Every day was amazing, and as Marilyn I sat talking on Saturday the words of Bob came ringing back to me. How did we do all that stuff? Maybe I was part Wizard...

Of course we know the truth. We were able to do all that we did and accomplish all that we accomplished because we were blessed by God to do these things in Jesus' name. All of the churches I served had the resources and gave us the freedom to dream, to be creative, and yes- to be MAGICAL with our youth ministry programming! But the adult leadership in each of those ministries deserves credit for this one thing- we believed the magic could happen! We had faith that amazing things could happen. We had the audacity to believe in the biblical directive to pray big prayers and dream big dreams. I learned early on from some brilliant mentors that youth ministry thrives when you live in the Possimpible (thank you, Barney Stinson)- that place where the possible and the impossible meet. There was no doubt in my mind that if we did those things, God could provide the supernatural- the MAGIC. I suppose you could say I attended the Hogwarts School of Youth Ministry! What I lacked in theological training I made up for in faith. I believed in what we were doing and never allowed nay-saying Muggles to steal our dreams. If I were indeed part Wizard, it was only in the sense that I never ruled anything out just because it seemed to be out of our reach or impractical. Big churches or small, we believed in trusting God to take us to places beyond our grasp- but firmly in His. There was never any doubt in my mind that God had great things in store for the churches I served a youth pastor. That's how we did great mission trips over my 28 years to places like DC, Chicago, Nashville, Tijuana and Spanish Wells. It's how we did ski trips, amazing weekend retreats, over a dozen NYC trips, took trips to see the Braves play baseball, spent weeks at Myrtle Beach and had

New York Trip in the early 1990s

amazing adventures together at WDW. It's how we hosted great bands like Spooky Tuesday, Sundry, Lost And Found and Geoff Moore & the Distance, and communicators like Curt Clonninger, Duffy Robbins, Mike Williams, Rick Bundschuh and Ted & Lee. It's how we did outrageous summer events, had awe-filled worship and built bonds that are still strong to this very day. It's how we changed lives! We didn't get everything right, and we had our share of mishaps. There were times when it became less about God's power and too much about me, and the ministry suffered. But even in the tough times, we never stopped believing in the magic of youth ministry to bring teenagers into the presence of God and into relationship with Jesus and with one another. And when our plans were filtered through a mission for Christ and magnified by God's love for us, all things were possible. 

Looking back now, I still can't explain how it all came together. I don't know how we paid for everything, I don't know how the plans came together so well, and I don't know why God blessed us in so many ways- other than we believed God would! I just know that for 28 years God kept sending waves, and instead of ducking and hiding we kept yelling SURF'S UP!!! It was indeed magical. And if that makes me part Wizard- probably more like the foul-up Mickey the Sorcerer than Harry Potter- so be it. The abiding lesson of the Hogwarts School of Youth Ministry? Never underestimate the awesome power of God to do things that are far beyond your reach. So tell me, fellow Christians- do you believe in that kind of magic? The church so often seems to be full of Muggles...

Because of Jesus,

Grief & Anger

For the past few days I have struggled with writing this post. It did not seem enough to express my emotions about the massacre in Orlando; I needed to say more, to say things that are on my heart and that need to be said. The shootings hit very close to home for me. Living in Tampa, and having lived in Kissimmee for 6 years, I know the area. Will was born in the hospital where many victims were taken, and one of his co-workers at the Olive Garden near UCF was there and survived, but lost three friends that night. I have friends who live only blocks from Pulse. The friend of a dear friend lost a niece that night. One of my former youth, a gay man now living in Arizona, had spent many nights in the club and did not know for many hours if he had lost friends. Pain is everywhere. And it is from that pain that I write today. You may not like or agree with the things I say here, and normally I am the first to tell you that "it is entirely possible that I may be wrong." I also freely admit that many of my statements are generalizations, and that there are many wonderful people and sincere churches out there who do get what it means to love like Christ. But today, I seek to write uncomfortable truths. Do with them (and me) as you will. If anything I say rings true, then you will understand that we can disagree and still be friends. We just can't hate. So here are 7 things that are on my heart this week...

• This was a Hate Crime- to call it anything else is an attempt to make the crime more political and less personal. The shooter had terrorists ties, and his warped philosophy may have come from ISIS (not Islam- ISIS!). But he targeted this specific club because he wanted to see gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people die. This story is being spun by people who believe that USAmerica belongs to them, and who, like the Lt. Governor of Texas, believe that these helpless victims "reaped what they sowed." The sooner we (especially those of us who claim to follow Jesus) confess that the shooter was not the only one with hate in his heart, the sooner we can begin to deal with the root of our problem.
• The framers of the constitution meant for the 2nd Amendment to protect your rights to own an assault rifle just as much as they wanted to protect the rights of the local fireworks tent to sell nuclear bombs. In colonial times guns were tools in the hands of the public and weapons in the hands of the militia. You needed guns to put food on the table and to protect your livestock from wild animals. No one- not one living person on planet earth- needs an assault rifle for anything but killing people. Ban them now!
• Most of you know that I am a Christian, and spent 28 years of my life working in churches. So this is hard for me. But the #PrayForOrlando memes have made me a little sick to my stomach. We are telling a community of people- the LGBT community- for whom we have done little (except to marginalize and dehumanize) for many years that suddenly we feel their pain. We are telling people that our institution has told over and over again will "burn in Hell" that we now love them. Churches are now saying that LGBT lives matter- just so long as they don't wish to get married, be clergy, adopt children, chaperone youth group trips or do anything else that matters inside of our walls. We have taught people to hate the sin- and so those who see the LGBT community as sinners have hated who they are while claiming not to hate the sinner. It doesn't work that way. If you hate the fact that I am a glutton, and I am indeed a glutton, then you hate who I am- and therefore hate me. The Orlando shootings, just like the bombings of abortion clinics, are what hating the sin looks like when taken to a extreme conclusion. Jesus taught that everyone is our neighbor. Too many of our churches teach that everyone like ME is my neighbor. And then say, "But I'm praying for you..."  I have seen the church chew up and spit out pastors and members who came out of the closet. I myself was questioned about my sexual orientation because I had a gay youth pastor friend- and I would have been immediately fired if my answer to the question "Are you gay?" had been yes.The gospels say to love all, judge none and reach out to those we don't understand. Many USAmerican Christians have become far more likely to judge all, love some and hang out with with the people who are just like us. There are many exceptions- but they are still the minority. It is time for the Church Universal to assume its role as a catalyst for positive social change. Christianity is not some moral improvement plan through which we can fix people, it's about building loving relationships and allowing the Holy Spirit to work through them. Too many of us have forgotten that.
• I am not sure I can live in a nation where a man can say things as vile and abhorrent as the pure sewage that Donald Trump has been spewing since Sunday morning and actually become more popular. No doubt, radical Islam can be a terrible thing. So can radical Christianity when it leads to groups like the KKK and events like the Crusades. The Church propped up slavery and ignored women for many years. The LGBT community has been our most recent victim. Every religion has failings and skeletons in the closet. God have mercy on us. Ignorance is a dangerous thing, and Trump is counting on the ignorance of voters and the fear it can create to get himself elected. That is not a partisan statement- if he were running as a Democrat he would still be the worst possible candidate I can imagine. And oh by the way- the oncologist who over the past year has done so much to save the life of someone I love? A Muslim immigrant...
• There was something interesting on Twitter earlier in the week. A bisexual man wrote that one of the reasons that clubs like Pulse came into being in the first place was that many times LGBT people did not feel safe in public places, so they created their own space. The tweet ended with this: "Now we don't feel safe anywhere." How horrific is that? Our African-American friends have known that fear for many yeas, as have many women and other ethnic groups. So why...WHY?????...is the Church of Jesus Christ not a place where all feel safe?
• Hundreds of people posted memes on Facebook this week that said guns aren't the problem, people are. "After all, Cain killed Abel with a rock." True- but Cain couldn't have killed 49 people with that rock. People's hearts are indeed the problem, but giving such troubled people such weapons is begging for the culture we now live in- one where guns are taking out groups of people nearly everyday. Led by the NRA, people are forever saying gun control will never work. In 1996, there was a mass shooting in Australia where 35 people were killed. The politicians sucked it up and said never again. They enacted tough gun control laws, bought back hundreds of thousands of guns and set about changing the culture. In the past 20 years there have been exactly ZERO mass shootings (more than 4 dead) in that country. In the USA we have had 7 in the past 10 days. Canada has had 8 in 20 years. We have had 7 in the past 10 days. Something must change. And it must change now.
• For Christians, the stakes have never been higher than they are right now. Who do we trust- the powerful, corrupt and greedy who seek to lead us or the One who died so that we may truly live? Will we put our hope in Jesus or in the right to own an AK-15? Will we follow the Prince of Peace and actively work to change a culture of violence? Will we follow the Giver of Grace and lovingly reach out to those who may appear to be different from us, understanding that in God we are one family? Will we listen to the voice that throughout scripture, whenever things get scary, reminds us to "FEAR NOT?" Or will we listen to a culture that proclaims violence as the answer, judgment as the rule and fear as our only option? My friend Eric wrote in a comment on Facebook the other day the following challenge, aimed at Christians like me who have been too silent for too long: "Jesus would be upending tables and screaming about this. It's time for you guys to suit up and do the same." I could not agree more.

So please continue to pray for the victims of this tragedy and their families. Pray for the politicians who proceed so blindly with the status quo. And pray for our churches, which are filled with people who can make a difference if they choose to do so. And then we (starting with ME!) need to get off of our knees and DO SOMETHING! We can help put a stop to the madness, to prejudice and gun violence and so much more. Jesus taught that if we want to follow him we must put ourselves aside and love others as he loves us. It's not safety first, or theology first or politics first- it's love first, last and always. Let us find a better way...

Because of Jesus,

It's the End of the Blog As We Know It...

November is upon us, and the next couple of months promise to be full of challenges and adventures. My work as chauffeur, personal assistant, official hand-holder and nurse to my dear friend Lisa Jewett will continue. After her surgery on the 10th she will be living with us for several weeks during her recovery period. On the 17th of the month Marilyn, Will and I will be seeing the original Beach Boy Brian Wilson live in concert in St. Pete. There's a phone upgrade in my future. Thanksgiving will be here before we know it. In December we will have Will at home on break for several weeks. There is the excitement of the Christmas season. And on the 18th Will, Marilyn, Michelle (and her brother Alex) and I will celebrate Lisa's birthday by seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens - in 3D. Tickets have been purchased. Life is going to be interesting. But will it be blog-worthy?

Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that, "There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth..." The seasons of life keep turning. Since August 26, 2009 it has been the right time, as well as a pleasure and a blessing to write this blog. It has given me focus, a chance to dedicate myself to something worthwhile, and an opportunity to reconnect with many old friends. It has also helped bring new people into my life who have taught me much about grace and friendship. But now, after 1900+ posts, it feels like the right time to stop. It is simply a matter of inspiration- or a lack thereof. Lately there have been more and more recycled posts and deeper struggles with creating new material that are not too intensely personal. Everyday my heart and my mind turn to the same subjects and the same issues, and it feels like I am wearing them out. So today is the day. It's the end of this blog as we know it- and I feel fine.

From the beginning, this blog has been about the things Jesus has done and is still doing in my life. It's been about the people who mean the most to me and the events that have shaped me. I've shared my biggest failures, my joys and my sorrows, my pain and my happiness. I wrote a novel and shared it with you. I have shared stories of faith and doubt. Through this venue my life has been an open book. But now it is time for a new chapter. To paraphrase Olivia Newton-John, I love you guys- but right now we all know I've got somewhere else to go. Going forward, it is my hope that God will inspire me to reach out and to tell my stories in new ways. For the foreseeable future there will only be posts here if there is important news to share or respond to. You can still find me on Twitter, by e-mail (Youthguy07@aol.com) or by phone (813-919-3755). But until further notice this blog will still be here, but will remain dormant.

I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have supported me with comments, words of encouragement and simply by taking the time to read my words. It's been a great run. Please understand that this is not a bad thing- there is nothing wrong with me, nothing that is dragging me down. I just need some time and space for my head and my heart, and I have important work to do in the days ahead. I covet your prayers, and look forward to our future adventures together. Please stay in touch, and if it's not asking too much, "keep me in your heart for a while..."

Because of Jesus,

Throwback Thursday: My Philosophy

Happy Throwback Thursday! Today we are blasting all the way back to June of 2015- you heard me, 2015! In one of my Saturday Shout Outs posts I shared some points of personal philosophy with my readers, including several things about the way I was seeing life back in June. Since then...let's just say there have been some serious tests of my insights. There has been a great deal of pain and suffering associated with my friends and family. There has been loss. Many nights my eyes have been watery; many days I have questioned the things I believe. But through it all life goes on, and we can choose to hide or to face the fire. You see, there have also been moments of great joy and sheer emotional exhilaration. Life is nothing if not mixed emotions. Today I will be with Lisa Jewett as she gets a CAT scan in preparation for her surgery scheduled for November 10th. With so much going on it seemed like a good day to remind myself of these principles. Perhaps they will be something you need as well...

* Philosophy Update #1: "You know life is like a train. It's bearing down on you, and guess what? It's gonna hit you! So you can either start running when it's far off in the distance, or you can pull up a chair, crack open a beer, and just watch it come!" ~ Eric Forman, That 70s Show  In the original post the next words I wrote were, "And I say bring it on!" Be careful what you ask for I suppose. But I have also been reminded that LOVE is also a runaway train...and being run over by the  love train is a blessing beyond all others!

* Philosophy Update #2: I can't even explain how much I love this quote- or how important it has become in my life. It is a brief instruction manual on seizing life and wringing the most from it, not matter the circumstances. And I find there is a great spirituality hidden in these words. Thank you, Samuel Langhorne Clemons!

* Philosophy Update #3: "Don't goin' shooting all the dogs down just 'cause one's got fleas!" ~ Brandon Flowers, Dreams Come True  It's past time to stop looking at labels and start seeing individuals. We are all uniquely created. We all have flaws. And we all need each other.

* Philosophy Update #4: No more focusing on flaws, in myself or in others. Let's focus on the joys and sorrows we all deal with, not on the smelly parts of our lives! So often we feel invisible until we do something wrong. Let's accentuate the positive in our lives!!!

* Philosophy Update #5: "When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun, keep me in your heart for a while. There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done, keep me in your heart for a while."  ~ Warren Zevon, Keep Me In Your Heart

The late great songwriter composed those words after he knew was dying with mesothelioma. The song is an anthem to holding tight the people and the memories that matter because we simply do not know what tomorrow holds. David Letterman once asked the terminally ill singer if he understood more about life as he approached death, and if so, what advice he might offer. Zevon's famous answer? "Enjoy every sandwich." The past few months have made those words ring true in ways I could have never imagined back in June...

That's it for today. So to sum up our philosophy lesson- laugh, love, forgive, never regret a smile, don't label people, focus on the positive and enjoy every sandwich. Kissing slowly is optional. :) Those are my new goals each and every day. Have a blessed day, and I do hope you'll stop by again soon. If not, then please do "keep me in your heart for a while..."

Because of Jesus,

Even Better Than Before: "Soulmate"

In early 2015 I finished writing a novel I called Even Better Than Before. It's a story of a group of old friends reunited at the beach after years of being apart. The main character, Brent Thomas, was a famous singer/songwriter whose life and career had fallen to pieces some 8 years before this gathering. Seeing these old friends marked his return to society as he found redemption in love, friendship and the start of something new in his life. The scene below takes place near the end of the weekend as Brent prepares (after several days of requests) to sing his huge hit song Soulmate for his friends on the balcony of the Betsy B. Enjoy!

Brent stood with his arm around Keri and surveyed the crowd. He would sing one more song. But first he had one more sermon to deliver.

“Craig loves to rag on me about how all women like to believe Soulmate was written just for them. Obviously it was written with someone special in mind.” He smiled down at the beautiful woman standing next to him. “But the truth is at various points in my life it could have been written for any of the ladies here tonight. Kristen, you were my first major crush. Alicia, you were my comfort and confidant in those early days when life seemed so confusing. Ally, you were and always will be my little sister. Cassie, you were a friend I could always count on and someone with whom I could have easily fallen in love. Sharon, you know you will always hold a special place in my heart. Stephanie, you were the girl at camp that everyone dreamed about, and I was no exception. And Nina, I just met you this weekend but you are clearly my buddy Jeff’s soul mate and you fit in here so well. I’m so glad you came. The song Soulmate is about a person without whom you are incomplete- a person you cannot live without. This weekend it has become very clear to me that all of you- men and women alike- are my soul mates. I don’t want to face the future without you guys by my side. My friend Tim and I talked a lot about the parable of Prodigal Son and how that applied to me. Keri and I have talked about it too. Coming home was scary. I didn’t know how you all would react. I did some pretty stupid things. But you haven’t even asked for explanations or excuses. You’ve just welcomed me with open arms. You’ve killed the proverbial fatted calf and thrown the best party ever. And unlike the other son in that story, you are happy that life seems to be ready to give me a second chance. They say it’s during the worst times of your life that you get to see the true colors of the people who say they care for you. And I have. I can honestly say that Keri is the reason I showed up this weekend. But every single one of you is a reason I don’t want to leave. You are truly my soul mates. So if you have ever believed I wrote this song for you, I hope you will keep right on believing. This one’s for all of you.” And with that, Brent Thomas let go of Keri, picked up his guitar and launched into his most famous song.  ~ Carl Jones

Friday Frustrations

When you try to blog most every day like I do, there are going to be days when you just feel like you have nothing to say. That is normal, and those days can be dealt with fairly easily. It's days like today that are more difficult. There are lots of things on my my mind and in my heart that I could write about- things that are right on the edge of bursting out! And every single one of them is something that needs to be kept inside. Just because there are things that I need to say does not mean that you need or want to hear them. For instance...

• There are so many things on my mind about issues like politics, patriotism and nationalism. But my views would be divisive, even among my closest friends. And no good ever comes from starting arguments about politics. So I won't.
• There are so many people I could write about today. People that I love, people that are hurting, people who are angry at me, people who are disappointed in me, people who need me, and people who don't understand me- so many people. The ones who weigh the heaviest on my heart- the ones who give me reason to write- are the very ones I cannot write about today because my emotions are running too high and my heart is pounding too fast. So that must wait.
• I could write about my beloved baseball, where the World Series is about to begin. But the truth is that I have ignored baseball this summer with far too many other things on my mind, and to write about it now just so I can have a blog post today seems nearly hypocritical. Plus the Cubs are out now, so what's the point...
• One of the things that has been on my mind a lot lately is how easily we do the right things for the wrong reasons, and how sometimes what society sees as the wrong thing is exactly the thing we need to do. But that post would confuse us all- including me.
• I could write one more time about how important it is to live in the moment, to seize the day and to enjoy very sandwich. But the truth is that for me this is a day I don't really feeling like seizing. It's more of day of introspection and "what ifs?" And that's okay...

So today I'll just have to not write about any of those things. Life is filled with stops and starts, with fun and frustrations. The key is always moving forward. Have a blessed weekend my friends.

Because of Jesus,

Just Another Manic Playlist

Life feels more like a roller coaster than ever lately. The highs seem higher and the lows feel lower, and there have been some big climbs and some stomach-shaking drops along the way. Every Monday is a fresh start; a chance for things to begin anew with new hope and new love. And nothing reminds me of that more than music. When I started listening to the iPod on shuffle this morning, the first song was Manic Monday. I took that as a sign that this was a good day to share another playlist with my readers, so here are the first 10 songs I heard today. Have a blessed Monday- and here we go!

1. Manic Monday - The Bangles
2. Only Wanna' Be With You - Hootie & the Blowfish
3. Daisy Jane - America
4. Too Many Nights Too Long - Poco
5. Miss Atomic Bomb - The Killers
6. Somewhere Somehow - Michael W. Smith
7. One and the Same Thing - Lobo
8. Fine By Me - Andy Grammer
9. Our Sweet Love - The Beach Boys
10. Think of Laura - Christopher Cross

That's a list that makes me smile. I hope you find your smile today as well, and that this will be a wonderful week!

"Enjoy every sandwich"

Celebrate the Day!

Today my lovely wife Marilyn celebrates her birthday, and I hope you will all join me in wishing her the happiest of days! She's been my partner in marriage for 29 years and a wonderful mother to Will for the past 20. She has loved and cared for us both in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse. She is the rock of our family, and we love her very much. This afternoon she will be headed over to Disney and will spend the evening with Will and Michelle at EPCOT. It's going to be a day full of celebrations! 

Happy Birthday, Marilyn! We love you. May the coming year be full of blessings and joy!!!

Save the Mustache, Save the World!

Marilyn, Lisa and the Philly Phanatic (Honker!) last March

Most of my readers are aware that last week the contest to Save or Shave my 35 year old mustache to raise money for Lisa Jewett's battle with cancer ended. We raised about $900 and you voted to save my old friend, so it all worked out well in the end! Marilyn, Lisa and several other very vocal friends are quite happy not to see my upper lip go naked. I am pleased as well, although I must admit having to shave it would have made for a great video and a great blog post. Just like with FOX News, my blog is better when there is sensational video to back up a fairly boring or fictional story!

So with my mustache safe and the contest over, you may be wondering why I am writing about this again today. It's simple really. You see, the Save It of Shave It? competition was never really about saving the mustache- it was about saving the world! You may wonder how keeping this furry thing on my upper lip could save the world, and it is a legitimate query. It won't. But a great man once told me that ministry in the name of Jesus is not really about changing the world- it's about changing the world for just ONE person. And that was what the mustache battle was really all about. We set out to help change the world for Lisa. And here's why today's post is important; we aren't done yet. Lisa still faces chemo again tomorrow, then surgery and then most likely more chemo. Even with health insurance the bills will mount. She has medicines to buy, food to purchase and rent to pay. She will not be able to return to her job as a 1st grade teacher until March at the earliest. There is much to be done. You may be finished saving my mustache, but we are not finished saving Lisa from huge financial stress. It's not a charity or a worthy cause, dear friends. This is a ministry, and one we can all share in. We may not be able to help everyone in need, but we can help one person. We can pray, we can give and we can love. And we SHOULD do it, because Jesus commands us to care for one another. We can be heroes.

So please keep Lisa in your thoughts and prayers, especially as we begin another cycle of chemo tomorrow. Please let her know she is loved. And if you are financially able, please visit her Go Fund Me Page (just click and go!) and make a donation. You have already saved my mustache. Now let's get busy saving the world!

Because of Jesus, 

LOST!

Sometimes our journey down the #NarrowRoad is a tricky one, even if we have directions and a GPS system. Witness the following account...

This past Sunday morning began slowly at the Jones' house. Our friend Lisa had spent the night with us after having a rough day on Saturday, and the plans for the day were uncertain. She and Marilyn had originally planned to go to Disney for the day, but they were both afraid Lisa was not quite up to that adventure even though she was feeling better. But we all wanted to get out of the house for a while. So I suggested we take a trip to the Shops at Wiregrass, a large outdoor shopping center located about 35 minutes away. It was a beautiful day and that sounded like a plan, so around noon we prepared to leave. As I was opening the garage it suddenly occurred to me that we didn't know exactly how to get there, so I returned to the computer and did a MapQuest. After originally being told it was in New Port Richey (and knowing that was untrue)  we tried again and got directions. We were off an running on our grand adventure. And we had no idea what lay ahead of us...

We followed the prescribed route to I-275 north and then to exit 59 for highway 56. The MapQuest told us not to go right or left, but to follow 56 towards Tarpon Springs for 7.7 miles, then to make a U-turn and our location would be on our right. We were enjoying the ride, having merry conversations and playing Skittle until we began to fear something was not right. We had traveled too far and still not seen the intersection that was supposed to warn us we had gone too far. Now doubting our printed directions, I turned on my phone GPS and discovered Google Maps said our destination was still 20 minutes away. That made no sense, but we kept driving. The cell signal was cutting in and out as we made our way through exciting Pasco County, but we finally reached that moment every man dreads. We stopped to ask for directions. As we did my signal suddenly reappeared, and it told us we were now 24 minutes away- in the WRONG direction! So we U-turned (not the U-turn from the original directions!) and started back east. My GPS suddenly told us to take a left turn- on a road we had passed several miles back. This was insane, so I killed the GPS and went rogue- following road signs! But we decided that the mistake had actually happened way back when we exited I-275 and went left towards Tarpon Springs. We went back, crossed over the highway, and found the Shops at Wiregrass about a mile down the road. It should have been so simple. We did everything right. We had the technology. We followed the directions. And it took us nearly an hour and a half to make a 35 minute trip. And all to go to a glorified mall. There were many reasons to be upset and miserable. But we weren't.

In fact, the entire messed-up adventure became a wonderful distraction and a great story. We were talking and laughing about silly things and happy moments. We grabbed some lunch at Panera, the first real meal Lisa had eaten a a couple of days. We wandered around outdoors, basking in a beautiful October afternoon in Florida. There was shopping, laughing and a bit of rare serenity as we spent the day together. Though we arrived at our destination in a totally unexpected way, we did arrive- and the trip was so much more than we could have anticipated when we began.

The #NarrowRoad is often much like our Sunday afternoon. We think we know where Jesus wants us to go. We do what we think are the right things and follow what we think are the right directions. And sometimes, despite our best efforts, we end up LOST. We aren't the people we want to be, and reaching that destination requires altering our routes, rebooting our GPS systems and making big and sometimes unexpected U-turns. The life Jesus calls us to is not a path this world understands, and so the maps we follow are often out-of-date and incomplete. We far too often count on our own abilities and expect to "arrive" because we are good people who know the right things to do. It's just never that simple. And so many times the best lessons and the greatest moments occur when we are lost and wandering. I tweeted last week that the hardest days often come with the biggest blessings- if only we will see them. I believe that. We prefer our lives to be simple and easy. But the truth is our joy often comes from overcoming obstacles. There is fear and frustration in being LOST. But there is sooooo much joy in being FOUND!!!

One last thought. As we have told this story to other family and friends over the last couple of days, Lisa has always ended it by saying that we drove straight home- and it was very anti-climactic. She is so right. We say it often, but it is so true- when traveling the #NarrowRoad, do not miss the joy in the journey. There is much to be learned from being LOST!

Because of Jesus,

Happy Birthday, Michelle!

Many of you know that I am a believer in Ohana. This Hawaiian word loosely translates to "family," but not in the traditional sense. My dad has been gone 10 years now, and I miss him. I love my mother very much. But as an only child with no close cousins, the truth is my family has always been made of people with whom there is no blood relationship. My family is extended- in a wide variety of directions. And that has been one of the true blessings of my life.

A few years ago our son Will began dating one of his best friends, a beautiful young woman named Michelle Carroll. She immediately became a part of our Ohana. She is sweet, funny, smart and caring. Her family has been wonderful to Will and to us, often including Marilyn, Lisa and I in their special events. We have come to love Michelle almost as much as Will does. And that is saying something...

Today Michelle celebrates her birthday. She and Will will be taking a day off from work and college (they have no Monday classes anyway) to spend the day at the Magic Kingdom, with dinner tonight at The San Angel Inn at EPCOT. We wish them a wonderful day full of joy and surprises. The great Disney film Lilo & Stitch teaches us that "Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." What an amazing definition of what family ought to be. Michelle, thank you for being such a huge part of our Ohana. Happy birthday sweetie- we love you very much!!!

The 'Stache is Talking Trash

'Stache Stunt Double

As many of you are aware, today is Carl's birthday. He deserves a day off from writing, so I -his Moustache- have taken over the blog for this Tuesday. You may be surprised that a moustache can have a life of its own and can write, or you may be among those who have suspected all along that I have special powers. In any case, today is my day to shine! You may also recall that this is the final day of the ridiculous contest in which Carl has allowed you to have control of my destiny in order to raise money for our beloved Lisa Jewett. I say "our beloved" because she (just like Marilyn, who has kept me safe for many years!) was steadfastly opposed to anything that might cause me to disappear from Carl's face- so of course I love her too! Despite my trepidation, I have been proud to risk my life so that we could raise money for her battle with ovarian cancer- because #CancerSucks. Carl's readers have been very generous, and we thank you. But here, on the final day of voting to Save It or Shave It (and with me being the IT in question!), there are a few things that need to be said. This 'stache is about to talk some trash!

It is clear from the voting so far that the ladies love me, and who can blame them? My powers are mystical, but very real. The money raised to save me has turned the voting into a landslide (although some as yet unclaimed votes from a very generous anonymous voter- and the Gastler family- could change all that) without a single female voting for my demise. Apparently, you gotta' love the 'stache! Most of you have no idea what Carl would look like without me, and that scares you. I get that. As Carl Semmler wrote, who would pay to see MORE of this guy's face?  Todd Willis voted to shave me out of sheer curiosity, and I get that as well. But those of you who want me gone are failing. At midnight tonight, unless you have a comeback of epic proportions, my future will be secure. So I taunt you! This is your once chance to kiss me goodbye, and you are blowing it. Can you imagine your joy at watching a video of a professional putting Carl in a chair and sending me to oblivion? It's all slipping away, isn't it? You under-estimated the power of the 'stache- and now it's desperation time for all the haters!

Want to shut me up? Then click the link provided and go visit Lisa's Go Fund Me page, donate and vote! Every $5 you donate earns one vote, and $100 doubles your total and gives you 40 votes to use against me. So far readers of this blog have given over $900 to the cause; that's awesome, but we are greedy. We want more! I mentioned that it is Carl's birthday, and he has repeatedly said that what he wants most as a gift to him is for people to give to Lisa. That's sweet and all, but I have another challenge for you. Give today, on this final day of the contest, and vote to shut me up! I dare ya. It'll take several hundred dollars of giving for the Shave It! votes to catch up, but if you do it you can watch me go bye-bye. You can do something wonderful and disappoint the women in my life all at the same time. But I don't think it will happen, because the 'stache lovers out there can give as well. I'd love to see a bidding war, a fight to the finish- because we'd love to see those donation totals soar today.

So donate, vote and wish Carl a Happy Birthday! Then tune in tomorrow for the big announcement. I'm not worried about my future. In fact, I'm planning my next move. Just like Pinky & the Brain, Carl and I are planning to take over the world! You should Fear the 'Stache!!!

Moose

Flashback Friday: Enough!

I never seek to be one of those bloggers who stirs up controversy and alienates a portion of his audience. But a little over a year and a half ago (2/19/2014) I felt the need to rant. After the events of yesterday, today I feel the need to share that post again. I am not asking you to agree with me. But sometimes we all have to take a stand...

I don't know how many of you are old enough to really remember the Popeye cartoons, but in nearly every episode the hero would reach a point of no return, when the circumstances around him had become more than he could put up with any longer. At those moments his catchphrase was, "That's all I can stands and I can't stands no more!" He would then pop open a can of spinach and smash a few bad guys. I always loved those moments, because I think we all have points in our lives when we just have to say ENOUGH! And today, I am there.

Despite my long held stance as a pacifist (because I believe that is what Jesus asks of us) I have long steered clear of the national debate about guns. My silence has been for 2 primary reasons. I find that most discussions of the topic become political rather than moral, and I have no desire to have political discussions about much of anything. And I have also witnessed that such debate seems to never change anyone's opinion. It turns into yet another case of "I'm right...and you're stupid!" So I have remained quiet.

I live in Florida. Lately there have been three shootings here that have garnered national attention for a variety of reasons. A young man was shot because he was dressed suspiciously and was therefore seen as a threat by a man who should have just left him alone. Another was killed when a man wanted some music turned down in a van at a gas station, thought he might have seen a gun (he didn't) and fired 10 shots into the vehicle to "protect himself." And most recently, a man was shot in a movie theater after he was asked to quit texting during the previews and threw popcorn at the man who asked. The shooter was a retired police officer. I am not here today to discuss the outcomes of the legal maneuverings surrounding these shootings. I am not here to discuss the racism that may well have been involved in the first two. I am here- crying ENOUGH!- because in all three of these situations there was absolutely no reason it should be legal for the men who did the shooting to be carrying firearms. None.

I understand when people feel the need to protect themselves and their families by keeping weapons in their homes. I choose not to, because I would never want to use such a weapon. But that's just me. I understand that people enjoy hunting and have guns to use for sport. I have good friends who love going to shooting ranges and blasting away at targets. I am not suggesting that all guns are a problem. But I am saying there is no good that can come from non-professionals walking the streets, driving around or sitting in movie theaters with guns. Guns in such situations make people stupidly brave and stupidly bold. People who carry guns may not plan to use them, but more and more it seems like they are more than willing to do just that. In all of those situations, words might have been exchanged. Maybe even angry words. But take away the guns and no one would be dead. If "stand your ground" laws mean that you can antagonize a person, and then if they respond in a negative manner you have the right to shoot them, then we have returned to the days of the wild west. Frontier justice. And if you check with the families of the those three dead men, I think you will find that such a return is not as romantic as it may sound.

I have no idea how to get USAmericans to get serious about this issue when special interest groups won't even discuss banning assault rifles, which serve no purpose except for killing people. I just know that concealed weapons in public places in the hands of the average Joe are a really bad idea. I do not want people wandering around with guns any more than I want my neighbors to have nuclear warheads in the garage. I mention these 3 cases, but there are hundreds more. I know many of my closest friends disagree with me on the evils of concealed weapons, but to be honest, today I don't care. I have had all I can stands...and I can't stands no more. Stop the insanity. I don't hate the 2nd amendment. I hate reading nearly every day about a senseless shooting in which someone loses a brother, a daughter, a parent or a friend. I pray we find a way to get guns off the street, because more and more it seems the "legal" weapons are doing as much damage as the illegal ones. And I, for one, have simply had ENOUGH!

Because of Jesus,

I'm 6 Years Old Today!

On August 26th of 2009, just weeks after being inspired by the movie Julie & Julia, I began writing a blog. Writing had always been a passion of mine, and blogging seemed like a good way for me to get some discipline back in my very scattered life. My goal was to post something every day for a year- 365 posts - and then re-evaluate. Initially the purpose was to tell stories about my days in youth ministry, which had ended in 2007. And that is what I did- told stories, remembered people and places and celebrated the love of Jesus in my life. Today we arrive at the 6th birthday of this adventure with some 1900 posts having been shared here. I'm still telling stories and still reminding myself and my readers that life is all about Jesus. And along the way we've shared some remarkable things...

• We have relived the great adventure of my life, the 28 years I spent in student ministry. We traveled back to Centre Friends Meeting (1978-79), New Garden Friends Meeting (1979-1983), New England Yearly Meeting of Friends (1985-1986), Springfield Friends Meeting (1986-1994), First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee (1994-2000), Union Church of Hinsdale (200-2001), Wesley Memorial UMC of Tampa (2001-2005) and Trinity UMC of Waycross (2005-2007). Telling the old stories has been a blast; hearing from readers at every one of those stops along my journey has been simply the best! I've also been able to share a a little of the wisdom I accumulated over the years with a new generation of youth pastors, making new friends along the way. It's all been a blessing!
• You've been here to watch my family change and experience life. You've been a part of our birthdays, anniversaries, accomplishments and struggles. You encouraged and loved me when I could "Cross the Bridge" after my probation was terminated in 2014, and wept with us when Disney banned me a few months later. You were there when Will graduated high school, when I was diagnosed with diabetes and became 7 Toe Jones and when Marilyn's dad passed away. Most recently you shared with us as our beloved Conner Dog passed away and Will moved into his new college apartment. The pages of this blog have been filled with emotion. Thank you for being here for us.
• This has been a place to celebrate friendship, from my very oldest friends right up through the wonderful people I have met via Twitter. I have said here before that one of the reasons I have survived the pitfalls of life is that I have the best friends in the world. That has not changed.
• Many of you offered love and support when I shared the stories of my own fall from grace and the aftermath of that sin. There were people who advised against sharing those tales, saying some readers would be disappointed and others would run away. And that did happen. But the love, grace and mercy shown by those who stayed let me know that telling those stories was the right thing to do. Thanks to so many of you for showing me what it looks like to encounter Jesus with skin.
• You have grown with me. In the earliest days of this blog I was ecstatic to have 1200 page views in a month. In July of 2015 there were 21,000. Each of the 6 posts in my Beach Boys countdown got more than 1200 hits eventually. The excepts from my novel, Even Better Than Before, were widely read as was my series on the justice system. While still on the small end of big-time blogging, knowing more people are reading is exciting for me. And the number of folks tuning in every Tuesday to read my thoughts about the #NarrowRoad continues to astonish me- and to remind me that my ministry is a long way from being finished. Truth be known, I would love to preach again somewhere along the road...
• We have prayed together. You have prayed for me and I have prayed for you. We have lifted up those who are hurting, those who are sick and those who have suffered loss. We have celebrated great achievements and prayed for new parents and their children. The Saturday Shouts Outs have long been a place to share prayer requests, and that will continue as we move forward. Being bound together in Christ's love means being bound together in prayer. This blog has always attempted to celebrate that.
• You have allowed me to approach this blog the same way I have always tried to approach life and ministry- wholistically. That's not really a word, but it is a mindset. It means recognizing that all of life ties together. We tend to make boxes for God, boxes for family, boxes for culture and so forth, when in fact life is one giant box. And God made the box! Remember, "all good things come from God," not just the things we talk about in church! I've shared about music and movies, about politics and religion, about faith and doubt and about silly, ridiculous things- and you guys have accepted it all. Even my rants didn't cause too many of you to run away screaming! Most bloggers are niche writers, focusing on one major topic. My topic has been life, and my belief that all of life is about Jesus. Thank you for giving me that freedom for these 6 years.

We head into year #7 with my life in a bit of an uproar. Will is at college, Conner is gone and dear friends are battling insidious diseases. I am at a bit of a loss of what to with myself, and that includes what direction this blog will go next. But it will go forward simply because I need it to. I need the outlet, the discipline and to keep my creative juices flowing. So thank you for sticking with me. It's been a wild ride- and I have no reason to believe it won't keep getting wilder! Let's meet back here again tomorrow and start a new year together. And as a bit of a tease, how about this news- on Friday there will be a new inductee into my Hall of Fame for the first time in over a year. Curious? That's the idea. Always leave 'em wanting more, right?  Much love to you all!

Because of Jesus,