Old School Youth Ministry

We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel, but our very lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. 
1 Thessalonians 2:8

If you read this blog with any regularity, then you know what a HUGE part of my life youth ministry was.  Even before I left the professional ministry for good in February of 2007 (due to my own sin and failings) I had become a somewhat outspoken critic of the direction student ministry seemed to be taking.  It seems to me that it has become more corporate, with more and more emphasis on style and structure and less attention to relationships. I have often had the feeling that meetings times and schedules reflect the whims of leadership and not the needs of students.  I feel like there has been a lot of change for the sake of change, just to try and "keep up" with the mega-churches.  Today I want to tell you two quick stories- one that illustrates how badly things can go, and one that reminds me that student ministry still changes lives.

A couple of summers ago our son Will was at a week long youth event at a very large church in Tampa.  He had been attending the middle school youth group there for 9 months or so, never really feeling a part of the group for a variety of reasons.  We pretty much had to make him go.  He got no calls or visits from any of the leaders; he did get some post cards, including a "we missed you" card- for a week he didn't miss.  Then, at this week long camp, he went up to the altar one night for prayer.  And the full-time, veteran professional youth worker leading the prayer time prayed for him.  By the wrong name.  After a year as his youth pastor (in a group no larger than ours at FUMC-K), she didn't know who he was.  He was crushed.  As he moved up to their high school group, the church moved the youth program from Sunday evenings to Wednesday night, which made it almost impossible for him to get there.  He eventually gave up on that group.  And no one ever called. 

This past Saturday night Marilyn, my Mom and I had a late dinner at Dairy Queen.  While we were there, a group of teenagers came in.  I watched as a couple of the kids sat down while the others got in line to order.  An adult came over and asked them if they were getting ice cream, and they responded that they had no money.  He said to them, "Come on- I'm buying."  Their faces lit up and they rejoined the group, feeling special and loved.  As we were leaving so were they, and I asked the man if they were a youth group.  He was a bit surprised, but said yes and asked me how I knew.  I told him what I had seen and heard, and that I knew right away not only was he a church youth worker but that he "got it."  He understood what it meant to share life together.  He knew that taken by themselves things like ice cream, ski trips, going out to eat, seeing movies and breakfast with Chip (see picture) are not spiritual acts.  But when they help build relationships that can help bring a student into the presence of Christ, they are acts of holiness.

The scripture at the top was my life verse for student ministry.  Youth Ministry is all about sharing Jesus, but it is also all about sharing our lives.  I failed at many things over my 28 years of youth work, but I still remember the names of my students. I did not always do or say the right things, but I was there- to listen, to pray and to buy the occasional Blizzard (or movie ticket, or dinner).  I hope I never failed to share my life with the youth that I served.  I believe being there is the very least we should expect from those who minister to teenagers in the name of Jesus.  Over the course of the next few months I will be occasionally lifting up some of my philosophy of student ministry.  It may be old school, but I think it's time to get back to the basics.  That doesn't mean being stuck in the past.  Wayne Gretsky once said, ‎"I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been."  And we do need to be visionary.  But we also have to keep our eyes on the prize...helping students grow in their relationships with Jesus.

Tomorrow I finish off my memories (for now) of FUMC-K with some odds and ends.  See you then.

Because of Jesus,