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| The part I miss the most- great times with great students! |
1) That Smell - I loved taking trips with my students, but no amount of claiming that there is "joy in the journey" can overcome the stench that begins to overpower the inside of every church van on every youth trip. Sometimes it was body odor, other times just a collection of smells from various foods and feet. But most often, it was a blend of all those things combined with a substantial amount of "natural gas." After one trip I took our van to a professional car wash to get it cleaned inside and out, only to be told, "I don't think that smell is ever coming out..." I don't miss that smell.
2) Church Boards & Finance Committees - This one is simple. Business men rarely understood me, and I rarely understood them. Plus I hate committee meetings. If the meetings were not with youth or the Youth Ministry Team (best meetings ever!) then I really wasn't interested. True story...
3) Habitually Late Parents - I'm not talking about the parents who get stuck in traffic or forget the time on occasion. I'm talking about the ones who NEVER pick their student up until at least 30 minutes after a youth event has ended. Trust me when I tell you that kids who get left like that are seldom the ones you want any extra time with after a full day of work. One particular FUMC-Kissimmee youth whose parents always left him an extra hour comes to mind, but I'll be nice...
4) The Blame Game - If something in a church gets spilled, broken, stolen or lost, then it's only a matter of time before someone blames the youth ministry. At one church I served an 80 year old woman claimed to have left a scarf in a room that we used for a Wednesday night study group. The scarf disappeared, and she wanted the Senior Pastor to question the kids about who took her scarf. And that's just one example out of thousands! Something go wrong? Blame the youth- or the Youth Pastor!
5) "We've Never Done It That Way Before" - Also goes by the name, "We don't do things like that here." Every church has a person, a committee or an adult Sunday School class that responds to every new idea in that manner. And since student ministry requires new ideas and new methods to stay fresh, there is often constant conflict. It is a point of great pride with me that I never once yelled at such people, "Will you just SHUT UP!?!?!"
6) The 3 Girl Conflicts - I learned from my own experiences as a teenager that anytime you have more than 2 teenage girls attempting to be be best friends at the same time, you have a problem. I could walk you through each of my stops on my youth ministry trail and give you examples, but that would be cruel. But looking back, it was always some of my very favorite girls who would end up in these nasty conflicts. One of the 3 is always left out. One of the 3 is always angry. And one of the 3 spends a whole lot of time complaining to the Youth Pastor. The headache is coming back even as I type...
7) Recitals - Spending three hours at a dance recital or music recital to see or hear one student do one thing is something I often did, but will never miss. And I REALLY don't miss beginner violin recitals...
8) Macho Men - In every group I served there were always a couple of guys who felt like youth group was not masculine enough for them, so they would try to compensate in other ways. During games, they would play rough and show off. The would bully smaller kids. They would disrespect the girls in the group. And they would not participate in the bible studies or other learning activities. This type of guy was always irritating to me, and on more that a few occasions I found myself screaming at them. But I never tossed one out a window. Ahhh- that was the dream!
9) Dating Relationships - I never liked it when youth group kids were dating each other, because when they broke up it always seemed like one of them got custody of the group and the other wound up feeling shunned. Plus, you always had to deal with what was "appropriate behavior" when you had couples at events. At one point I tried a guideline that said, "Don't engage in exclusive behavior. In other words, never do with one person what you would not be willing to with everyone else." I am fairly certain I had a couple of guys in that group who took that a bit too literally... :)
10) Saying Goodbye - I was never good at letting go of the students I worked with over the years. I hated to leave them when the time came to go - I always dreamed of taking all of my students and Youth Ministry Team members with me from one church to the next. I hated when they left me, even to go to college. They were all a part of my family, and many of them still are today. I was never good at letting them go, and maybe I should have been. But I don't miss saying goodbye...
So there are 10 things I do not miss. I didn't include "cleaning up the messes we made" because making those messes is one of the things I really miss- so it all evens out! The lists of things I do miss can be found in the first 730 or so posts on this blog. Have a blessed day!
Carl, this post is great! I had an example pop in my mind for just about every one. I think the reasons the vans have a chronic odor is because they spend so much time parked with no air circulation. We went on a mission trip and a kid got one of those huge pickles at a convenience store...yeah. Combine that with some stinky feet and it really never went away. Then on our ski trip a kid spilked some chocolate milk. Didnt really notice the problem until our mission trip four mos later. Another kid spilled some water on the dry, sour milk and opened a Pandora's box of aroma. Thanks for blessing me with this post!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jason. Most groups also have guys who actually ENJOY that smell...but we won't talk about them! :)
ReplyDeleteReally good stuff Carl! I could definitely do without the "I am too cool for these activities" attitude sometimes from the teens. I have even said before if you want to be too cool please go stand in the corner of the room the rest of us will be having a fun time together.
ReplyDeleteI know when you group different animals together like a flock of geese, a swarm of bees, that a group of vultures is called a committee :)
"That Smell" could be attributed to the loveable Stinky.
ReplyDeleteI love it Dave. A Committee of Vultures. Absolutely perfect! And Jeremy, if Stinky the Pootapotomous is to blame for all the bad van smells over the years, the little guy was a stow-away on a whole bunch of trips! :) Thanks for the comments, guys!
ReplyDeleteI'll combine 2 of yours into one I will never, ever miss. If I hear one more committee tell me we've never done it that way before, I am going postal. Great post, Carl. As Jason wrote in the 1st comment, I can think of an example for each one! - Chris Cooper
ReplyDeleteAnd the thing is, Beth- EVERY van smells like Jack's feet! LOL
ReplyDeleteReading this list, my head hurts from all the nodding! I was wondering if any other groups struggle with late parents as much as mine does- great to know we're not the only ones who've had to stay behind awhile after our events because of excessive lateness! I guess in a culture of grace it is easy to fall into a habit of thinking "the leaders won't mind if I'm a little late, and the kids will appreciate the extra time with them" :P
ReplyDeleteI hear you, Tom. I loved spending time with the youth, but not so much spending and extra half hour after spending a weekend with them. Enough was enough! :)
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