Monday, January 18, 2010

Four For the Championship

In honor of Brett Favre.  Wouldn't it be great if watching every NFL game was as much fun as he has playing them?

Imagine that if instead of playing this past weekend's NFL playoff games, all of the participating quarterbacks were waiting at an exclusive country club to see if they were being "seated" for championship weekend.  The announcements from the Head Waiter might sound something like this...

Mr. Warner?  You know how much we like you here, and your performances in big games have been nothing short of brilliant over the years.  However, a Mr. Brees is here carrying the hopes and dreams of the entire city of New Orleans.  If we don't seat them, they claim they will scream WHO DAT? for the rest of the evening.  So we must turn you away.  We shall be honored to host your retirement party next month.

I'm sorry Mr. Romo, but we do not have a table for you.  You and your current blond bombshell might try the local Hooters.  The table you see is reserved for AARP members only, so Mr. Favre and his hoard of Vikings will be sitting there.  Perhaps next year there will be a table for you.  Until then, I suggest you practice running for your life!  Maybe Mr. Favre will win it all, hang up his cleats and give you a chance next year...

Mr. Manning?  Mr. Manning?  If you could pull yourself away from shooting that commercial and eating your double stuff Oreos we are ready to seat you.  Don't worry about Mr. Flacco, he is already seated at the kiddie table.  Perhaps he come back to the big boy table next year.  And no, I'm sorry-  your brother is NOT invited. 

Come right in Mr. Rivers!  It is so nice to see you step into the realm of elite NFL quarterbacks.  Your table is...wait....not so fast Mr. Rivers!  It appears that Mr. Sanchez has been moved from the kiddie table into a seat of honor in only his first year.  No, you are too old for the kiddie table- I must ask you to leave.  I see you went to North Carolina State, so perhaps you could go out back and help milk the cows.   You might want to try a new coach before coming back next year.  And speaking of which, Mr. Sanchez could you please ask Coach Ryan to shut up?  I didn't think so...

So the tables are set, it's time to serve dinner.  Wait- who are you?  Tom Brady?  You are not on my list at all.  Behind the velvet rope, please- at least until "The Genius" gets you a defense!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for reading,and thanks for your comment!