Saturday, June 21, 2014

To Whom It May Concern

Many (if not most) of my readers know of my downfall over 7 years ago. The story has been very public, including posts here on this blog. From the very beginning I confessed my crime and my sin and have tried to do everything asked of me to put it in my past. I served 49 days in the Ware County jail and 7 years of probation. I was in therapy and counseling for nearly 5 years of those years. I was a model probationer, never having any issues and being told by 3 different officers that they really felt no need to check on me. My final PO was even responsible for me applying for the early termination which allowed me to get the final 3 years of my 10 year sentence removed. I have lived with the shame of the label I was given and tried to live my life in the years since my offense to restore my reputation and bring honor and glory to Jesus. And on April 2nd, 2014, I was given my freedom from probation. I could resume my life, see people I wanted to see and do things I wanted to do. I knew there would still be some fallout, like my name being permanently on a list, but I thought I would finally have a chance to be normal again. In at least one instance, I was wrong. Terribly wrong.

If you follow my posts here you know that one of my first adventures after being released from probation was to go to Walt Disney World with family and friends. We bought me a 3 day pass, which we upgraded to an annual pass before my third day in the parks, so we had used my annual pass once. On June 7th Marilyn and I ventured to Epcot for the day. We had fast passes and dinner reservations- a whole day planned. Upon arrival, we were told that my pass was blocked for some reason and I was sent to guest services. After a bit of stalling, I was sent back to an office and was greeted by WDW security. At that point I was told that since my name is on a list because of my offense in 2007, I'm not welcome on Disney property. Not in the theme parks, not at Downtown Disney, not on the golf courses. I am simply not welcome. This is not a stated WDW policy; it is something they do behind the scenes. Officially, I was issued a trespass warning for having committed "conduct not welcome at Walt Disney World" and told that if I ever come back I will be arrested. I was allowed to go to Downtown Disney or the miniature golf courses and meet friends while on probation; now even that was gone. They took my Magic Band, my annual pass and asked me to leave. Walking back to our car in the Epcot parking lot was surreal. This was the LAST time I would ever be at WDW.  My disappointment at that moment is very difficult to describe.

I do not write this today to debate the policy or to cast dispersions on the Disney company. They are trying to protect their customers, and they see this as a way to keep out some riff-raff. I do have a problem with the bigger picture. Eliminating an entire group of people because they have been lumped together on the same list with no regard for individual circumstances and no chance for appeal is not right, yet Disney is far from being the only company to have these sorts of policies. Forget about my situation for a moment and consider this scenario. A 19 year old man and his 15 year old girlfriend have consensual sex. Her father discovers this, is outraged, and presses charges- as is his right. The man is convicted of statutory rape and is placed on the list for the next 25 years. This happens far more than you might think. He serves his time and is released from legal restrictions- given his freedom. Yet because of his actions at the age of 19, WDW will never allow him to visit. He will not be able to see Mickey with own children until he is 45 years old and his name goes off the list. The patrons of WDW deserve to be protected from sexual predators. They need no protection from that young man or many others in categories very much like his. The "net" of offenses used to put people on the list has gotten so big that it has become impossible for the general public to separate the sharks from the minnows. I have many thoughts from "the inside" about the flaws inherent in the system and how laws intended to protect are actually creating more problems, but those will have to wait for another day.

So why do I share this today? Simply to say to the dozens of friends who have been so excited about the possibility of going to Walt Disney World with the Jones family that I will not be able to join you. Many of you deserved to hear this from me one on one. But to be honest, telling the story exhausts me, and the thought of telling it 20 times was a bit more than I could handle. So please accept my apology and please know how deeply disappointed I am that I cannot share what will always be one of my favorite places on earth with you and your families. Please keep Marilyn and Will in your prayers, as this has been very difficult for them to deal with as well. Sin comes with consequences, and I accept that. Accepting that some of the consequences are never-ending is a much tougher thing. Grace is often hard to find in the real world- which is one more reason I will continue to cling to Jesus. Thanks for listening.

Because of Jesus,

8 comments:

  1. Anonymous6/21/2014

    I will not attempt to compare your situation to any in my life...but imagine not being able to return and serve to the Church Fellowship of your heritage because you are considered unworthy due to the stain of divorce. The truth is from my angle is that God's Grace and calling are far more important than any rule of humankind...So, with slightly heavy heart I will accept my placement in life....and give glory to God for His blessings where I find them. Be Strong in the Lord and do not fear that which you can not change. Best to Marilyn and Will.....

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    1. Thanks for the words of encouragement, UBD. And I know you are right- all grace comes from one source and one source along. And that's really all that matters in the end. God's grace. I appreciate you so much, dear friend!

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  2. Awe, Carl! My heart is with you and your family and is heavy. I cannot relate to you fully but in part...that sin has consequences. Mine seemed small at the time but the ripples, turned into waves, still crash upon the shore of my present life in the form of being "unequally yoked" (with details I only go into in person, sometimes). Similar to you, I feel I have served my time for my sin committed and each time I think I am out from under it (free), I am hit by yet another "wave" unexpectedly. Though I pray for resolution, one does not come...just the echoes of my sin and what it feels like to be apart from God in that sin. I'm sure my situation pales in comparison to yours, on many levels, but the heartache is the same. And, I've tasted the bitterness of shame. A reminder that sin is lasting. The system, you mentioned in your post, is flawed…something I hope to help, at least slightly, remedy after law school. There are “exceptions to the rule”, those who truly repent instead of just manipulate. I know yours is a repentant heart and pray God will give you the desires of your heart. Much love to you, Marilyn, and Will. <3

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    1. I suppose we never get used to those unexpected waves, do we Brook? Thank you for your unwavering love and support. And much love right back at you!

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  3. I'm so sorry. You all will be in my prayers.

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    1. Thank you so much, Andrea. They are much appreciated.

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  4. Anonymous6/22/2014

    Carl, I love you my friend, and am so sorry. I wish I had better words or some way to help, but please know that Kristin and I are here for you and have heavy hearts.

    Todd

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    1. Thanks to both of you. You guys are at the top of my list of people I hate I will not get to travel with to the parks.But we will find other things to do. Can't wait to have you here.

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Thanks for reading,and thanks for your comment!