A Whole New World

Christmas 1985 was approaching rapidly, and I still needed a plan.  I knew I was moving to Worcester, Mass (if you have ever lived there you never abbreviate Massachusetts "MA"- it's always Mass) the week after Christmas to attend the Mid-Winter Retreat of the New England Young Friends.  I had no place to live, no money to pay for moving help, and no idea what I should do about my relationship with Marilyn (that's us in 1987 at EPCOT).  I eventually found a place I could stay while I looked for an apartment; some friends would help me move (and give me a new recliner to take with me!); and I decided to propose to Marilyn.  The engagement ring would be her Christmas surprise!  I took the gift to her at the house she was sharing with some friends and gave it to her without fanfare.  She opened, was stunned, hugged me and and we began crying and laughing.  To the best of my memory (and hers) I never actually asked her to marry me!  Despite that little oversight, we decided we would marry Labor Day weekend of 1986 in Elkin, NC, Marilyn's hometown.  Then I headed off to New England, leaving her to plan a wedding and figure out her own move north.

Those of you who know me or who have been following this blog with any regularity know that I have a good memory.  I seldom forget names or events; I can list over 50 youth who participated in my youth groups at New Garden from 1978-83.  Having said that, I must confess I remember very little about my time in New England, especially the names of the youth.  It's odd but true.  I arrived at Mid-Winter Retreat to observe, meet people, and get a sense of what the traditions and expectations were of the Youth and Religious Education Secretary were.  I have three strong memories of that retreat.  On my arrival, I was immediately invited to join an ice hockey game being played on a lake.  I have never played hockey, and in NC you never go out on a frozen lake because it will not hold you.  I also had no skates.  But I ventured down to the lake and went out and slid around with the youth and made a decent first impression for a southern boy.  The second thing I remember is discovering that these students were addicted to a game called Wink 'Em!  I knew the game well from my days as a New Games leader, and so I could jump right in.  Wink 'Em! is a very violent game, much like organized group wrestling, and these kids played all out!  Shirts got ripped, shoulders got separated and people bled!  We played in a large carpeted room every time we had free time, and every night right before lights out.  It was great!

The third thing I remember was sitting down with my new boss, Tom Ewell, and discovering some unsettling things.  He warned me that I would encounter people all over the Yearly Meeting who considered themselves Quaker but NOT Christian, and that my faith would be tested.  He told me that spiritual content had not really been a part of Young Friends events in quite some time, and he did not know how welcome it would be now. Almost all of their programming focused on social activism and human rights, without focusing on Jesus as the reason for their beliefs and actions.  The worst news, however, was that he would be leaving his job in a couple of months, and even that support of the new direction I hoped to go would be gone.  I was not happy.  I had just entered a whole new world, and now my tour guide was quitting.  I left the retreat having enjoyed meeting the youth and adults, having reconnected with Chris Jorgensen, and yet still feeling like things were already a bit out of control.  I was a little depressed, but still felt like God had me there for a reason.  What I did not yet understand was that after years of being surrounded by great youth, great friends and an amazing girlfriend, I was about to take on a whole new world- alone.  I would have to depend on Jesus, in a situation where He was not always welcome.  I had so much to learn...and that's not even counting ice hockey!

Because of Jesus,