Remembering Posey

Posey & Marilyn

One year ago today, at 8:24 pm, my father-in-law Posey Steele went home to be with Jesus. He was 88 years old. He fought hard for 8 days after taking after a terrible fall the previous weekend and suffering a severe head trauma, but it was time for him to go to "the mansion prepared for him" by his Savior. He left behind Marie, his wife of 67 years; daughters Marilyn, Linda and Carol; grandchildren Spring and Will; and great-grandchildren Danielle, Evan and Ryder as well as other extended family members. But to stop with his family would be to miss out on the wonder of Posey. He left behind the town of Elkin, NC, where it seems most everyone knew him from his days as a mail carrier, his retirement days working at the local Food Lion grocery store or his regular stops to have a biscuit with his boys at a local eatery. He left behind his beloved Poplar Spring Baptist Church, where he he served many roles over the years including that of deacon and faithful member of the choir. And perhaps most importantly he left behind a legacy of stories and memories for everyone who ever knew him. We all take comfort in knowing that Posey lives on in our hearts and minds because there will ALWAYS be one more Posey story to tell! He is missed. But we are confident that because of the grace and mercy of the love of God whose name is Jesus, we will see him again. And he'll probably be watching wrestling...

As we prepare for a few family days at the beach, I ask for prayers for the entire Steele family, but especially for Posey's loving wife, Marie. Losing a loved one is never easy; losing a spouse after 67 years is almost unimaginable. Her faith is strong, but her body is weak and her loss is great. It still hurts. Please lift her into the Light and ask God to give her strength as she carries on. We shall continue to lean on your prayers and a faithful God in the coming days. Be well, my friends.

Because of Jesus,

Happy 25th Anniversary To Us!

This past Saturday night at Bahama Breeze

A quick update- Josephine Naomi Kuramochi was born to Jennifer (Minnigan) & Jun on August 29th at 2:30 PM. She weighed in at a little over 8 pounds and 19 1/2 inches long.  Mom and baby are doing great.  Welcome to our world, Josephine!  There is no truth to the rumor that they will call her Bob...


25 years ago today Marilyn Steele and I stood in the presence of God and before our family and friends and were joined in holy matrimony.  In our vows we promised all of the usual of things (except the obey part- no one promised to obey!).  We promised to love, cherish and support one another.  We promised to do those things in sickness and in health.  We also promised to do those until death parts us.  But there was one phrase we both uttered in our vows that I want to focus on today as I remember 25 years with my best friend.  As we made these promises, we said that we would keep them because we would have "divine assistance."  I firmly believe that willingness to include God in our relationship is why we are celebrating today.


Some of you may not believe this (insert sarcasm here), but I have not always been easy to live with.  Way before I nearly destroyed my family with my sin, I could be a real pain in the butt.  Sometimes I gave the best of myself to the churches I served and Marilyn (and later Will) got what was left over.  Sometimes I was very selfish.  Sometimes I was simply an idiot!  But through it all, we loved each other and clung to each other, because we knew God was in control.   We have not always been "happy."  We have not always had the "tinglies" for each other.  But we have always loved each other with God's love.  And that is why we have reached this milestone today- and reached it with a level of greater love and respect for one another than we have ever known before.

Happy Anniversary, baby!

I had always dreamed of a big party or a big trip to celebrate our 25th anniversary, but finances and my travel restrictions don't allow for that right now.  That day will come.  Instead, this past Saturday night the 3 of us went to dinner at one of our favorite places - Bahama Breeze - and had a wonderful dinner and family time together.  After 25 years of marriage and 16 years of raising a son, we all love each other and enjoy each other's company.   I guess we got to have that big party after all...  I love you, Marilyn, and I still promise that "with divine assistance I will be a loving husband as long as we both shall live."   Thank you for 25 years of blessings and the promise of so many more to come.


Because of Jesus,

It's All About Soul



Our honeymoon, 09/01/1986

 I try not to complain too much here, but I just have to say this- yesterday was not a good day.  (Editor's Note: This was written before I got a retweet from Jon Acuff on Twitter late last night.  I did The Church Lady's "Superior Dance to celebrate!  Also I learned that I get to play "Pinky" in an attempt to try to take over the world.  So the day wasn't a total loss...).  As Colin Mochrie often said on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, "I think it was Rogers & Hammerstein who wrote, 'The hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!"  And that was my Wednesday.  By the time I settled in for a little personal prayer time late in the afternoon, my attitude- for the second time this week- was terrible.  But even in the midst of that, God is faithful.  And I was reminded of a huge truth in my life.

Many of you either know or have seen me write on this blog that four years ago my life pretty much fell apart.  Some days- like yesterday- it's easy for me to feel sorry for myself.  And some days- like yesterday- God takes the opportunity to remind me just how much worse it could have been.  I could have been left alone, broke and homeless.  I could have lost all hope.  My faith in God and my relationship with Jesus kept me going in those early months after my life crashed.  And what kept my faith from faltering?  It was a who- my incredible wife Marilyn.

I know a lot of you guys think you are married to the most amazing woman in the world.  You are wrong.  I am.  The love, grace and support she showed me when no one in the world would have blamed her her for giving up on me still astonishes me.  The care she gives to our son Will is simply incredible.  But it is her faith that sets her apart.  She's not a bible thumper or a group joiner or a blogger or any of the other highly visible things that make people point at her and go, "Now there is a woman of God."  It is her life that points that out ever so clearly.  At a time when most of the world would have been just as happy to see me stay in my room and never come out again, she pulled me out. She loved me like only someone who really knows Jesus can- unconditionally.  When others might have left, she just hugged me tighter.  She SHOWED me Jesus in a whole new way.  And she still does every single day.

Many of you know by now that the Holy Spirit often speaks to me through music.  Before I decided to write about Marilyn, I was listening to to my ipod on shuffle hoping for an inspiration.  I got one.  The Billy Joel song It's All About Soul began to play- and I began to cry.  Billy is Marilyn's very favorite artist, and I know the song well.  But it had never occurred to me before that the song was written about her.  Billy didn't know that, but it was.  I went to YouTube and searched videos for the song, and found one with lyrics.  The video is not much, but it's the words I want you to see.  If you want to know what it's like to be married to the greatest woman in the world, just listen.  It's so much deeper than love.  It's all about soul.  I love you so much, Marilyn- and I am the most blessed man alive.  Nothin' crappy about that...



Because of Jesus,

Homecoming, 2010

My 15 year old son Will went to his first Homecoming Dance this past Saturday night.  He went with a beautiful young lady (I know her name, but I won't use it in this blog to protect her privacy from my thousands hundreds tens of readers.  She doesn't know me at all) and had a marvelous time.  But as I mentioned in my Saturday post (see Saturday Shout Outs!), when the day started things were a bit up in the air.  I thought today I would share a little of his adventure with you.

Will had been telling us all week that they were going out to eat before the dance.  He didn't know who they were going with, where they were going or how they would get there, but they were going. The dance was being held at a student center at the University of South Florida, which is nowhere near his school or our house. So plans needed to be made.  Friday night at the football game they didn't make any plans, so when he got up Saturday morning he began texting friends to see what was going on.  He soon discovered that his date could not go out to dinner- her parents would bring her directly to the dance. So that was that.  Marilyn would take Will to the dance, and it would not be complicated.

Then about 3 PM Will received a text from his date saying she had heard from his friend Chris that Will was going with some people to Kobe, a Japanese Steakhouse.  Will had no idea what she was talking about.  Chris has been known to over-promise and plan things that never happen, so Will called him to see what was actually going on.  Indeed, a group was going to Kobe, and Chris wanted Will to go.  For reasons we still don't really understand, suddenly Will's date was available for dinner.  So plans were finalized.  She would meet Will at Kobe.  They would eat, and then Marilyn (Super Mom!) would pick them up and take them to the dance.  I love it when a plan comes together. 

They went in to Kobe, where Chris and the rest of the group already had a table- with no room for anyone else.  Chris, who had started this entire fiasco, claimed he didn't know that Will and his date were coming.  Eventually it was all sorted out and they all got to sit together.  Marilyn picked them up, drove them to the dance, and then 4 hours later returned to pick them up.   Only Will's date was already gone- her parents had picked her up a few minutes earlier.  He said he had a blast and that they had danced all night (apparently not needing to fake a knee injury as I always did in such situations), along with many of their friends.  And that is the story of Will's first big date.

Why do I share all of this with you today, dear readers?  Simply to remind us all of something that I have never once forgotten, from the time I was a teenager through all of my years working with them.  A truth that never changes.  And here it is:  Being a teenager is HARD!  Even with 25 different ways (everything except actually talking to each other; that seems to be taboo!) to communicate, they can't.  Everything is life or death.  And you never know who you can count on. It may not seem like it is so tough now that we face serious adult issues, but when you are that age nothing seems more difficult.  Never forget that.  I'll see you tomorrow as we head back to Dungannon and Work Tour 2000.

Because of Jesus,

Happy Birthday Marilyn!!!

My lovely wife Marilyn is celebrating her birthday today.  A gentleman never reveals a ladies age, so I will simply tell you that she is younger than me.  Also that one of her favorite shows is Hawaii 5-O.  And that's all I have to say about that...

I have told you many times on the pages of this blog (see last year's birthday post here) what an amazing woman she is, and how much I love her.  I have told you how the grace she showed me in our darkest hour saved me from myself and kept my faith alive.  And I have told you what an incredible mom she is to Will.  All of those things that I told you are true- and every one of them is an understatement.  Marilyn is my best friend and my partner for life.  I wish I could give her everything she deserves, but for today, I can give her this.  I love you, Boo!  I can't wait to see what the future holds for us!  See you all tomorrow for a special Sunday edition of Shout Outs!

And here's a little birthday present for her:  Have a ROCKIN' BIRTHDAY, Marilyn!!!!

Happy Anniversary, Baby!

Today is mine and Marilyn's 24th wedding anniversary.  It's hard to believe that 24 years ago today I was playing football in the parking lot of a little motel outside of Elkin, NC with my groomsmen, getting ready for the big event!  There is not a whole lot left to say that I have not already said on the pages of this blog, so I will just say again that she is the best wife, the best friend and the most faithful servant of God that anyone could ever wish to share life with.  The way she lives her life and the way she has treated me through all of the stuff I have put her through is the very definition of the word GRACE.  She is a fabulous mother to our son Will.  I know the influence she has had in many of your lives is still felt today.  I thank God every day for the blessing of having her in my life. 

We have been blessed through these 24 years with some amazing friends who have helped make our life together special and unique.  We have lived in a variety of places, served a variety of churches and have now settled in to a new life here in Tampa.  Through it all- through the adventures, the mysteries, the hardships and the incredible joys- there have been two constants.  One is our unwavering faith in Jesus Christ.  The other is our love for each other.  Anyone who tells you that marriage is not hard work is lying.  Anyone who tells you that marriage is not a blessing from God is also lying.  Twenty-four years seems like a long time in many ways.  It also feels like it is "only the beginning of what I want to feel forever."  Happy Anniversary, Marilyn!  I love you!  Now bring on year 25...

Because of Jesus,

August 30, 1986

It's difficult to believe that Marilyn and I have been married for over 23 years.  It was a wise man who first said "time flies when you're having fun!" We were married at Marilyn's home church, Poplar Springs Baptist, just outside of Elkin, NC.  Our wedding was a special day, as we were surrounded by extended family, the best friends anyone ever had (see picture above!) and two ministers for which we had great love and respect.  The actual wedding day was the end of a great week of events.  It was also a week filled with stress, trying to sort out where we might live when the honeymoon was over, and what I was going to do about resigning my position in New England and when we might actually start at Springfield.  It was emotionally exhausting, and by the end somewhat of a blur.  But there were some things that I will never forget...

• My  Mom's sisters- Kathleen, Marie and Sue- threw us a pool party at a country club in Greensboro a few days before the big day.  We had worried all along about how hot it would be in NC in late August, so imagine our surprise when the temperature didn't get out of the low 70's for our outdoor pool party.  It was a great night, but not a whole lot of swimming going on...
• Pastor Mike Lane, one of the two officiating ministers, had been Marilyn's pastor at Poplar Springs.  His wife, Judy, had shared a little concern about the entire process.  At one point, several weeks before the wedding, she asked me the following question:  "Quakers are just like Mormons, right?"  It was not the last time I would be mistaken for a Mormon...
• One of Marilyn's co-workers had a house for rent in Greensboro that she said we could have without a lease until the house at Springfield (read more about that house tomorrow) was ready for us.  God was working amidst the confusion...
• The rehearsal featured Alan Brown (see The Asheboro Flash) threatening to dangle his feet in the baptismal pool at the church while he sang.  We were planning a period of open worship during the service, which was quite confusing to the non-Quakers involved.  Marilyn's Dad, Posey Steele, gave us all a good laugh when answering the question "Who gives this woman in marriage?"  His response?  "MY mother and I..."
• The rehearsal dinner at the Jonesville Holiday Inn was a blast, highlighted by great champagne toasts and the now infamous David Bills spoon on the nose trick...
• The groomsmen (see picture below) and I played football outside our little motel the morning of the big day...or was it wiffle ball?  It's all a blur...
• I had been so worried about my tux jacket, shirt and shoes fitting that I failed to notice that my pants were actually too short.  I noticed while getting dressed at the church...
• The period of open worship, meant to be about 10 minutes, lasted about 3- I was ready to get on to the vows and jumped the gun...
• Hank Semmler, Steve and Carl's father and an English teacher, read our Quaker Wedding Certificate.  Every time he had to read the words "Marilyn Marie Steele" he would almost say "Marilyn Monroe Steele."  There were giggles...
• One of Marilyn's male friends showed up in a white tux...just in case I got cold feet, I suppose...
• We rode a few hundred yards to the reception in a horse drawn carriage.  It was an awesome entrance...

• There was a ton of food at the reception, but I don't think Marilyn and I got any of it!  It was great to see so many friends, but after about an hour my face hurt from smiling...

It was indeed an amazing day.  The thing I will remember most, however, is that somehow, despite all odds, I was marrying my best friend, who also happened to be the most beautiful bride I had ever seen.  We were going to cruise to the Bahamas on the Big Red Boat (thanks, Beth!), spend a few days at Walt Disney World (starting our still ongoing obsession with the place), and then figure out where life would go from there.  Wherever it went, we were going together, and we were going with Jesus.  Let the adventure begin!

A Whole New World

Christmas 1985 was approaching rapidly, and I still needed a plan.  I knew I was moving to Worcester, Mass (if you have ever lived there you never abbreviate Massachusetts "MA"- it's always Mass) the week after Christmas to attend the Mid-Winter Retreat of the New England Young Friends.  I had no place to live, no money to pay for moving help, and no idea what I should do about my relationship with Marilyn (that's us in 1987 at EPCOT).  I eventually found a place I could stay while I looked for an apartment; some friends would help me move (and give me a new recliner to take with me!); and I decided to propose to Marilyn.  The engagement ring would be her Christmas surprise!  I took the gift to her at the house she was sharing with some friends and gave it to her without fanfare.  She opened, was stunned, hugged me and and we began crying and laughing.  To the best of my memory (and hers) I never actually asked her to marry me!  Despite that little oversight, we decided we would marry Labor Day weekend of 1986 in Elkin, NC, Marilyn's hometown.  Then I headed off to New England, leaving her to plan a wedding and figure out her own move north.

Those of you who know me or who have been following this blog with any regularity know that I have a good memory.  I seldom forget names or events; I can list over 50 youth who participated in my youth groups at New Garden from 1978-83.  Having said that, I must confess I remember very little about my time in New England, especially the names of the youth.  It's odd but true.  I arrived at Mid-Winter Retreat to observe, meet people, and get a sense of what the traditions and expectations were of the Youth and Religious Education Secretary were.  I have three strong memories of that retreat.  On my arrival, I was immediately invited to join an ice hockey game being played on a lake.  I have never played hockey, and in NC you never go out on a frozen lake because it will not hold you.  I also had no skates.  But I ventured down to the lake and went out and slid around with the youth and made a decent first impression for a southern boy.  The second thing I remember is discovering that these students were addicted to a game called Wink 'Em!  I knew the game well from my days as a New Games leader, and so I could jump right in.  Wink 'Em! is a very violent game, much like organized group wrestling, and these kids played all out!  Shirts got ripped, shoulders got separated and people bled!  We played in a large carpeted room every time we had free time, and every night right before lights out.  It was great!

The third thing I remember was sitting down with my new boss, Tom Ewell, and discovering some unsettling things.  He warned me that I would encounter people all over the Yearly Meeting who considered themselves Quaker but NOT Christian, and that my faith would be tested.  He told me that spiritual content had not really been a part of Young Friends events in quite some time, and he did not know how welcome it would be now. Almost all of their programming focused on social activism and human rights, without focusing on Jesus as the reason for their beliefs and actions.  The worst news, however, was that he would be leaving his job in a couple of months, and even that support of the new direction I hoped to go would be gone.  I was not happy.  I had just entered a whole new world, and now my tour guide was quitting.  I left the retreat having enjoyed meeting the youth and adults, having reconnected with Chris Jorgensen, and yet still feeling like things were already a bit out of control.  I was a little depressed, but still felt like God had me there for a reason.  What I did not yet understand was that after years of being surrounded by great youth, great friends and an amazing girlfriend, I was about to take on a whole new world- alone.  I would have to depend on Jesus, in a situation where He was not always welcome.  I had so much to learn...and that's not even counting ice hockey!

Because of Jesus,