Grace Squared

Tomorrow is 11/11/11, a day that some consider to be lucky or magical.  I don't know about all of that, but I do know this- tomorrow is a huge day in my life.  Tomorrow afternoon at 4:30 I will do something that I have thought for much of the past 5 years I would never have the opportunity to do again.  This amazing moment is happening not because of anything I have done, and not because of luck or magic.  It is taking place because I have experienced a double-dose of grace.  I like to think of it as Grace Squared.


If you know my story, then you know that in February of 2007 I lost my ministry through my own sin.  From that moment on I accepted as fact the idea that I would never again stand in front of a group as a minister.  I could not imagine that God would choose me to serve Him in that way again, having failed Him so badly.  I knew about grace.  I knew God still loved me and forgave me.  But I was just as certain my days of public ministry were over.  And besides- who would give a "notorious sinner" like me another chance?  Why would they?  It seemed completely obvious to me that I had thrown it all away- and there was nothing that could be done about it.  As I traveled through this experience, two things seemed very clear to me.  God's grace is amazing and overwhelming.  Grace from human beings?  Rare and unexpected.


And yet as I began writing this blog, spending time on Twitter and reconnecting with so many people from my past, I began to feel some of that unexpected grace.  I dared not hope for too much, but at times I was completely overcome with joy as people showed me love I did not deserve.  At times I still felt like I was their youth pastor, and that filled my heart. Then this past January, I received an email asking me if I would consider officiating the wedding of an old friend.  Katherine Martin (sister to Youth Group Hall of Fame student Colleen Martin) was only 11 years old the last time I saw her in Kissimmee.  She wrote that she was planning to get married in North Reddington Beach this November.  I assumed the suggestion to include me came from her mother, Cindy Martin, who had been one of our volunteers in the student ministry of FUMC-K and a great supporter of this blog from the very beginning. But I didn't think Cindy knew of my offense.  So before answering Katherine, I called Cindy.  I prefaced my story by telling her that while I would love to be part of the wedding, there was something about me she didn't know that might change her mind on my participation. I told the whole story, my voice breaking as I once again confessed my sin to someone I knew would be disappointed in my actions.  When I finished, Cindy said to me, "OK. So what is it you have to tell me that might make me change my mind about having you do the wedding?" BLAM!!!  I had just been hit with a double dose of grace.  It was one of the most moving moments of my life.  To feel the grace of God poured out in such a way was totally overwhelming, and I was so blessed by Cindy's words.


Tomorrow I will once again stand in front of a gathered congregation and share the Word of God.  I will share in the service as Katherine and Joshua become husband and wife.  And I will do it humbled by the knowledge that I do not deserve this privilege.  And that's the whole concept of God's grace as it pours out through Christ-followers.  We get things we don't deserve- and we don't get what we do deserve!  I am not sure what my emotions will be like, but I do know this- I ask that all of you be praying for me, that I will hold it together and give God all of the glory as He continues to restore my soul.  While you're at it, pray for Katherine and Joshua as they begin a new chapter in their lives.  It's going to be a big day.  Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me again that when people live out the love you give to us, amazing things happen.  Love multiplies. Forgiveness doubles.  It's Grace Squared!


Because of Jesus,