Cyber Monday 2011

Today is Cyber Monday, the day when consumers all over the world are encouraged to shop online and when companies offer up great deals and savings.  I was going to write some fresh, new satire for today, but then I realized I never sold any of my merchandise from last year.  You see, while my little blog is not normally a for-profit operation, I wanted to join the rest of the online community in this effort today.  So here it is, my second annual Cyber Monday sale.  The items advertised are all collectors items and available only here- just like they were last year!  To order, just leave a comment and let me know what you want, or call 444-8111.  Call now!   If you want me to write something new next year, you need to shop today!  :)  And be sure to read the fine print at the bottom.  Let's get started!

*  Item #21560-  Autographed Commodores Album Cover-  Featuring the only white guys ever to sing with the fabulous soul quintet, this collector's item was presented to me by band members Charles Freedle and Mike Mercadante in 1994.  It is the only one of its kind.  The street value is around $5000- but you can get it today for only $2.17!  Also includes an interview with Charles- "My Life With Onell Rich."  Order now!

*  Item #22098-  Bubba the Mooning Man-  Presented to me after the Myrtle Beach trip in 1999 by some of the girls of Kissimmee, this special little guy will "moon" the person of your choice, and when he shows his butt you see the autographs of such famous youth alumni as Erica Souther, Lindsey Lupfer, Rachel Autrey and Sarah Whitman.  Great for long trips and offending your Grandma.  Price- $17.50  $2.01

* Item #21666-  Bubba's Greatest Hits-  The early songs of Carl "Bubba" Jones (that's me!), including the classics that made him famous, likeThe Animal Song, Why? and Mama Was A Rock'N'Roll Singer & Daddy Used To Write All Her Songs.  Also includes the cassette tape of the classicFour Songs, Two Fools project, recorded live atQuaker Lake with Alan "Flash" Brown.  Act now and receive a DVD.  It's blank.  Isn't it amazing how much young Bubba looks like Justin Bieber?  Today only, this box set is priced to move at $20.00 $10.00 Make an offer!

* Item #27013-  Coconut Bra and Hula Skirt Combo-  This high fashion ensemble includes everything you need to throw your own Luau!  Worn by the fabulous Jerry Hanbery on many occasions in Kissimmee, this matching set also comes with a Jester hat and a can of Nair, in case you have a need to shave your head in the most painful way imaginable!  Only $250 for the whole set!  Also, for a limited time, you can order your own framed 8x10 copy of this picture, sure to brighten up any room of your home.  

* Item #20734- Pagan Eye For the Christian Guy CD-  The original recording of me presenting my seminar at the NYWC in Atlanta in 2004.  At the time, dozens of copies were made and at least 3 were sold- because I bought them!  Now you can own your very own at the very special price of $0.03 per copy.  Act now- at that price I will sell all 3 of my copies before...well, eventually! 

*Item #1-  The Doggy Alarm Clock-  This cute little dog adds hours to your day by waking you with a yelping, howling alarm at 4 AM- no matter when you thought you wanted to get up!  Also serves as a garbage disposal for leftover food and has been known to tackle an occasional Christmas tree.  Answers to a variety of names and runs on turkey.  Price:  $14.22 or best offer!

Order Now!  Sale ends at Midnight tonight!

*Prices may vary in Alaska and Mississippi.  Offer void in Canada.  Some items do not actually exist.  Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?  Tim Tebow won again yesterday, so Merril Hoge can EAT it!  Half a bee must also half not be.  Are thongs one size fits all?  Unclaimed items never actually existed.  Santa Claus is watching YOU...