Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The New England Ducks

People have been asking me what I think of the "Deflategate" scandal, or as Mike & Mike call it the #Shrinkage issue. It is very hard for me to be unbiased, as I detest the New England Patriots on their best days. And it seems to me they have very few "best" days. But here's the deal on this particular scandal. Their footballs were deflated, the Indianapolis Colts balls were not. The Pats were responsible for their own footballs, and so they must be held at fault. Don't get me wrong, it's been fun hearing them try to protest their innocence. Bill Belichick quoting from My Cousin Vinny, claiming science was on their side and being refuted by Bill Nye the Science Guy was pure gold. You could almost hear Dr. Sheldon Cooper shouting BAZINGA as Belichick finished that press conference. Tom Brady has admitted in the past that he prefers underinflated footballs and last week confirmed that fact yet again. These are the paranoid Pats who have "people" watching reporters every minute they are on site (according to Sal Paolantonio), but they don't know what happened to the game balls? C'mon, man! In the big picture, letting some air out of the ball did not win the game for New England. But this is not their first rodeo, nor is it their first time cheating at the rodeo. They have a history.

So here's my final word on the subject. To quote the old proverb, "If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and smells like a duck then it must be a duck." The same is true of cheaters. And in this case, the New England Ducks look, sound and smell guilty. Plus they have left a lengthy trail of duck poop over the past 10 years for us all to see. I hereby declare the Patriots to be Ducks, with the full realization that the NFL will find some way to botch the investigation and declare them to be Swans. So let's move on and play some football. Go Seahawks!!!

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