The Politics of Flip & Flop

As we enter the home stretch of the 2012 election cycle, I am sure many of you are growing as weary as I am of the constant yammering of candidates and (perhaps even more annoyingly) the people who support them.  So as a public service to you, my loyal readers, I would like to sum up everything you are likely to hear between now and November.  This will hold true for most local and national elections. Trust me. Here we go.  The ideology of the colors are intentionally mixed up- much like the politicians themselves. 

Red Candidates:  My fellow Americans, FLIP. FLIP, FLIP...FLIP FLIP FLIP!!!  I cannot stress how important this is- FLIP.  My opponent will tell you that FLOP is the way. FLOP was an idea given to that party by someone....oh I don't know who it could have been...maybe...SATAN???  Only FLIP can save us now!

Blue Candidates:  FLOP. I have always said FLOP.  FLIP is socialism, communism and vegetarianism rolled into one evil policy.  There is some evidence it can even turn us all into Dallas Cowboys fans! So FLOP, FLOP, FLOP!!!!!  And God bless America!!!

Red Supporters:  There is only one answer, and that answer is FLIP!!!  Our candidate understands the needs of the people, and everything he/she says is the absolute truth and the ONLY way to save our nation/state/town.  The other candidate says FLOP.  Geez what an idiot! Plus they listen to rap music!

Blue Supporters:  4 years ago they promised us that FLIP would save the planet,  make us rich and make Keeping Up With the Kardashians watchable. It was all a lie!!!  FLIP failed before, it will fail again!  FLOP! FLOP! FLOP!  And also, he once killed a baby seal.  

And there you have it.  The candidates will not say much, and their supporters will declare them geniuses for this lame rhetoric. But mostly, they will spend more time telling you what the other side will do wrong than what they will do right- because they have so little idea of what they are actually doing to do!  So for the next 6 weeks or so keep the mute button handy, limit your social media time, and watch a lot of ESPN. Should we seek to be an informed electorate? Absolutely.  But that is really tricky without informed candidates. So make your decision, and by all means get out and vote.  Talk about the issues and explore opposing viewpoints. Talk about the qualifications, experience and positive traits of the candidates you support. And if you feel the need to speak ill of their opponents, remember you have an option.  If you can't say something nice, the very least you can do is to SHUT UP!  Have a great Saturday.