Thursday, May 12, 2011

Mangled Movie Lines

I love watching reruns of  Drew Carey's  Whose Line Is It Anyway? on ABC Family (actually Will and I DVR them each night and watch when he gets home from school) and one of their games recently inspired me to ask this question:  What if your favorite movie lines had been delivered at church or youth group instead of in their original scene? How might they be different? I have come up with a few- I hope my readers will come up with many more!  Here we go!
  • "I'll be long as the church next door doesn't get a Starbucks."   Terminator
  • "I'm going to give them an offering they can't refuse..."   The Godfather
  • "Oh no, it wasn't the airplanes.  "Twas the youth group that killed the beast."   King Kong
  • "You shouldn't make me play Fluffy Bunny, Johnny.  My mother made me play Fluffy Bunny once...ONCE."   Johnny Dangerously
  • "Have fun storming the sanctuary!"   The Princess Bride
  • "What we have here is a failure to communicate... (OOPS- didn't change that one!)    Cool Hand Luke
  • "There are two types of people in the world- those who like Rob Bell, and those who don't..."    What About Bob?
  • "Frankly my dear, I don't give a dad blast the gosh darn blankety heck..."  Gone With the Wind
  • "When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a church on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Bro, the strongest church in all of Nashvegas."  Monty Python & the Holy Grail
  • "Cinderella story, from outta' nowhere, about to become Trustees Chairman..."   Caddyshack 
  • "They've done studies, you know.  Be purpose driven.  60% of the time it works, every time."    Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
  • "Jesus is King of the World!"   Titanic
Let's face it, friends- sometimes the institution of the church is funny.  It OK to laugh.  I've said it before and I'll say it again-  I cannot survive a day without Jesus or laughter.  And they ARE NOT mutually exclusive.  Now let's hear your movie favorites, mangled for a little church humor!  I'll Tweet the best ones.  Have a great day!

Because of Jesus,


  1. Anonymous5/12/2011

    You need a Clint Eastwood line. Maybe the church council could say to a youth pastor, "So you want a budget this year. Do you feel lucky? Do ya- punk?" :P

  2. Good call, Anonymous. A Clint was the perfect addition. I'm feeling like it needs something from Ghostbusters as well. Suggestions, anyone?

  3. Anonymous5/12/2011

    Of all the youth groups in all the towns in all the worlds, Jesus had to walk into mine! ~Casablanca

    The Deacon's been egged! round up the usual suspects. ~Casablanca

    Play it Sam, play "while I'm waiting" ~Casablanca

  4. YES! We needed some Bogart, Seiji. And who wouldn't love egging the deacons... LOL

  5. Well youth and parents I guess turning in forms is just not your game...I know lets have a "I didn't know about that deadline" contest.
    This was kind of a stretch but it is from Tombstone when Doc Holliday was playing poker with Ike and Ike accused Doc of cheating. Then Doc told him, "Ike maybe Pokers just not your game....I know lets have a spelling contest."

  6. Dave, Kevin Weatherby sent me the "spelling contest" quote last night and I didn't recognize it. I love the change to deadlines, because you are right- the only ones worse than youth are their parents! ~

  7. Casey, one word for you- BRILLIANT!!!! Come back again soon!

  8. Anonymous5/12/2011

    I will take a shot at Ghostbusters- "40 years of darkness, earthquakes and volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave, traditional worshippers and emergent worshippers living together- total chaos!" - Casey V. in Nashvegas

  9. Okay, Tombstone has so much good stuff. "Are you going to turn in that form or not? Well skin that smokewagon and go to work!"

  10. "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!" "Did you send that kid home from camp?" "You're golly darn right I did" -A Few Good Men

  11. There were great comments left on May 12, the original date of this post- before Blogger crashed and lost them. It makes me sad.

  12. And I'm just now realizing at some point they all came back. YAY Blogger! Now leave some more, people!

  13. Anonymous6/05/2011

    hello, my name in Inigo Montoya, you found my father prepare to save - The Princess Bride

    Luke I am your pastor - Star Wars

    Strong is satan. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can. - Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back

  14. "The new hymnals are here! The new hymnals are here!" ~ The Jerk


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