Flashback Friday: February 15, 2006

Will, Baloo Bear & Dad

The day had arrived for me to leave for a new youth pastor position in Waycross, GA- February 15, 2006.  I had taken most of my office stuff up when I had driven up a couple of weeks earlier, so this time my station wagon was packed with clothes and a few other things I would need for my six months of living alone.  Leaving was hard.  I was going to miss Marilyn and Will so much.  Plus, another complication had arisen over the previous few weeks.  My Dad had gotten very sick.  He was 71 years old and had always been one of the most vibrant and active people anyone could ever know.  He still played golf, softball and tennis. He rode his bike.  He and my Mom spent lots of time at their favorite place, Walt Disney World.  And then in the blink of an eye, he became weak and frail, and a battery of doctors could not seem to figure out why.  I had driven up to Leesburg, FL to see them a couple of days before my departure for Georgia.  Dad was in the hospital and seemed to be getting worse, and the doctors had finally decided it was a blood-based cancer that was tearing him down.  It was so sad to see him like that.

I headed out of Tampa around 10 AM and stopped at the Tampa Christian Supply to pick up a few more things that I thought I might need as I began my new adventure at Trinity UMC. I was shopping when my cell phone rang.  It was my Mom calling to tell me that my Dad had just passed away.  I was dumbstruck.  Here I was, leaving town, leaving my family behind and heading out to a new and somewhat scary place, and now my Dad- without a doubt the most important influence in my life- was gone.  My head was spinning.  I could not imagine how we were going to tell Will.  This was not just his grandfather (Paw-Paw) who had died- this was his best friend.  My 10 year-old son was hardly ready for this.  I was hardly ready for this.  I called Marilyn and told her the news and that my plans had changed.  I called Trinity UMC and told them I would not be arriving that day, or anytime that week.  All of the energy and excitement that had been building in me for this new opportunity and this new ministry was drained in one 5 minute phone call.  I was very frustrated with God's timing, and I told Him so.

My Dad had wanted to be cremated, and we honored those wishes.  Mom didn't really want to do any kind of formal service, but after some convincing she agreed to a memorial service in North Carolina that May so that all of our extended family and friends could remember my Dad, who through coaching and chaperoning youth trips had been a huge part of so many lives. I eventually made my way to Waycross on February 22nd.  My usual positive attitude, however, would lag far behind.  Instead of hitting the ground running and getting off to a flying start, my energy would now be invested in just trying to survive and advance.  Fortunately, even when we doubt, even when we are frustrated, even when we feel all alone- God is faithful.  

As I remember my Dad today (hard to believe he's been gone 7 years already) I think of the amazing relationship he had with my son Will.  A couple of years back I put together this little slide show of pictures of the two of them, set to Steven Curtis Chapman's Remembering You.  Will actually sang this song at the memorial service.  I can think of no better way to celebrate Dad's memory than with pictures of he and Will. I hope it will give each of you a small glimpse into the joy and vigor of a great man. Today- just like every other day- I miss you Dad.  Have a great weekend, everyone.

Because of Jesus,