Praying for Terry

Marilyn, Doyle Craven & Teddy Venables
in NYC- sometime in the 80s

Some weeks I know what I intend to write about every day on this blog, and things go exactly as planned.  Other times, life intercedes.  In some cases, events take place that bring a particular part of my past to the forefront and bring back memories or people that demand to be written about- NOW! This week, with all of the excitement going on about the April reunion of my old youth group from FUMC-Kissimmee, I expected to focus my attention on that group.   The tragic death of Leah Way in North Carolina on Tuesday night changed all of that.  As regular readers know, my thoughts and prayers have been with the Thomas family and the Quaker Lake community.  My post on Thursday about Neal Thomas was widely read by old friends, and a number of them contacted me via email and social media.  It was again a reminder of how close knit that community is, and how deeply my roots are planted in those years. People like Susan McBane Tuggle, David Hobson, Edith Shepherd, Denise May Langley, Steve Semmler, Scott Smith and many others reminded me of what a special place QLC was and is.  I wish I could be with so many of them at the funeral today at Centre Friends Meeting (where my youth ministry career began), but my prayers will have to suffice.

I first heard the news on Wednesday morning from my old friend Leigh Anne Venable via my wife's Facebook.  I later called to thank her for letting us know and to get more information. I had not talked to her in a very long time, and I have been thinking a lot about the Venables since then.  I have written often here about old friends and great influences, but I have written very little about Leigh Anne and her husband Terry. Today seems like the right time to fix that.

I was prepared not to like Terry Venable.  When he was hired to work on the Quaker Lake Camp summer staff in the early 80s, I didn't know him. He had never been a camper.  He didn't run in the accepted QLC circles of that day. He wasn't one of US.  But despite the uncertainty, it didn't take long for Terry and I to become fast friends. And our lives would continue to intersect long after I left the staff following the summer 1983. In the summer of '84, Terry showed up at my house late one Saturday to tell me he had just been on a date with another counselor, Leigh Anne Everhart.  He was in shock. I was in disbelief.  I had known Leigh Ann since 1978 when she was a camper at a junior high camp- one of my favorite weeks of camp ever.  And she was THAT girl. The teenager who was so pretty that the guys and girls alike (not to mention the staff!) were totally intimidated by her.  She and I had become good friends as the years had passed (Fueled in part, ironically, by bonding over the untimely death of Robin Davis, one of her fellow campers, in a tragic car wreck in that summer of '78. Robin's funeral was also at Centre Friends.), and I knew her to be a sweetheart. And now she was dating my friend Terry.  I actually went to the beach later that summer with the two of them and a few other staff members.  As time went by their relationship became quite serious, and one day they showed up at my place again to visit.  They spent a lot of time trying to get me to notice the ring on Leigh Anne's finger- but if you know me at all you know what a lost cause that was!  Finally, she stuck the ring in my face and they announced their engagement to me.  I was a groomsman in the their wedding.  Terry returned the favor at mine. Around that same time we discovered that our lives together had only just begun.  Terry was going to start on October 1, 1986, as the new youth pastor at High Point Friends Meeting.  I was moving back from New England going to start the same day at Springfield Friends Meeting- separated by only a few miles. This was going to be great!

And it certainly was.  We planned lots of youth events together.  We took some epic 3 hour lunches, and occasionally skipped out to catch a movie as well.  We served together on the QLC Camp Planning Committee and the Young Friends Activities Committee. We had great times together at a couple of National Youth Workers Conventions (see The Country Quakers) and during The Great Hickey Search at the 1987 Friends United Meeting Triennial Sessions. When no one else stepped up to do it, we planned and ran the NC Yearly Meeting sessions for youth that same year, importing our buddy Brent Bill to help.  While thanking us for our work, some unsuspecting adult mispronounced Terry's name, referring to him as Teddy Venables.  A new nickname was born. Together (along with Doyle Craven, Jeff Byrd, Ray Luther and others) we led seminars, edited a youth ministry newsletter, and basically lived life together for several years.  When Terry left for Indiana to pursue his master's degree, it left a hole in my life. By the time he came back to NC, I was in Florida and he was coming back to be the senior pastor at Springfield. I was so excited for he and Leigh Anne- although we had to make a pact of secrecy-  if she wouldn't tell any "Carl" stories, I wouldn't tell any "Leigh Anne" stories.  The pact held up...  But as happens, distance and time have separated us.  I haven't talked to them or seen them in years.  And that was why it was so special to me to hear the horrible news of this past Tuesday night from a trusted old friend.

So why today to share all of this?  Because this afternoon around 3 pm, Terry will be one of the pastors presiding over the funeral of Leah Way. I cannot imagine anything much more difficult.  It is hard enough that she was 12.  That she was the granddaughter of dear old friends and the daughter of a young woman who we watched grow up at camp would just be gut-wrenching.  We all know to be praying for the Thomas and Way families today.  But I also want you to be praying for Terry.  Not everyone can appreciate how heroic he will have to be this afternoon- but I do.  Join me in lifting him in prayer RIGHT NOW, as you read this.  I have great confidence that God will see him through.  But a little prayerful support never hurts.  Terry and Leigh Anne, we love you guys.  I look forward to the day our paths will cross again.  

Because of Jesus,