Growing Pains
and Stretching in the
Pioneering Phase of a Youth Ministry
By Daniel Griswold
Youth Director at Saint Andrew
By-The-Sea UMC
Hilton Head Island, SC Twitter: @Dannonhill
Email: DanielGriswold@Gmail.com
Blog: DanielGriswold.Wordpress.com
Coming into the church, I was the new guy – but I was the
new Youth Director. There was a clean
slate, and I had been told that I was able to paint what was necessary. This was true, and it was exciting – and
terrifying at the same time. I had a
general youth ministry philosophy in hand that I had developed when working in High
School Youth Ministry in the Lexington, MA area during the seminary years. From the previous four years of outreach work
and program success at the previous church, I was confident that God would do a
new work with this new church and myself.
I met the staff, projected my plans and goals to the ministry staff, and
talked to as many committees as I could, just to let the church get to know
me.
And at some point, after some consultation with those who
had previously led youth meetings and also with some of the students who were
available, I looked at a calendar (with very confusing school calendars – 3
Middle Schools?) and began planning when Middle School and High School Groups
would take place. It was a thrust of
necessity and I admit, personal haste, because I had been an August hire, only
having one month to prep, think, plan, communicate and enact new programs for the
youth of our church – I prepped to roll out quick.
The first two youth meetings for both grade groups were
enormous successes, especially if we were to consider only numbers. I had a handful of parent volunteers who
helped with the crowd in the gym (we had not developed a youth space, so we
commandeered what we could, found tables here and there, wired a projector to a
random laptop, and put some powerpoint games and series slides together). In assessment, through the explosion of activity, I will note
that we survived. And despite my
positive reports, I knew that there were some big issues that needed
addressing, some that could have been mitigated. Here is a snapshot of the pioneering moments of ministry:
(1 ) We
had numbers, but we had no relational leaders at the time. My wife and I’s main task, to relate to the
kids, build meaningful moments and establish rapport, could not happen because
we were running a preset program. The
huge amount of kids, many of whom were likely checking out the new guy, did not
allow for depth on a lot of levels, especially since we could not break the
group down into smaller groups without trained leaders.
(2) I was there, but I did not understand the cultural context/matrix that effected
the youth. It was like we spoke different
languages. I felt the missionary feeling
that I was not in Kansas anymore. The
different schools and different groups did not particularly meld well at first,
and large group and small group talk fell flat – there was not trust. Because I was not yet a central figure, I
could not glue together the varying groups, and I could see young people like
oil and water separating to different corners at any chance they got.
(3) I
had not fully understood that the youth program prior had been very different
from my own approach to ministry. I was
ready to launch into a discipleship oriented program heavy in discussion of the
Bible and group prayer with a few games, it would have been better to plan more
games at first, just have fun, and let the kids come along. Instead I think I made the kids feel a bit
uncomfortable by imposing a new culture on them rather than let an organic
culture rise and I felt a bit inflexible until a bit down the road.
(4) Over
time, I would have to relearn Middle School Ministry, having been in High
School for so long. The basic patterns
of discipleship are the same, but the delivery has a totally different
methodology. They’re excited, they’re
bored, they are pushing, they want a friend, they don’t want to play, they want
to jump up and down, they want quiet, they want to be loud. Over the last three years, I’ve grown deeply
in love with Middle School Ministry, and have found great delight in
ministering to my awesome young people at this phase of life, but I think in
the beginning of pioneering a new MS group, I was a bit scared of the explosive
energy. That is what I love about Middle
School now. And in High School, they
already had role models and people who had guided their faith. It was clear that they didn’t want a “new
guy” and they didn’t feel they had the time (one or two years) to see if I’d
stick around.
I look back at this period and
call it the pioneering phase of the ministry.
I’ve done the same in ministries before and I’ve noticed some guiding
principles that help a lot. One on one
contact work are important at first and built the framework for the future
success of our ministry. Also, finding
ways to break through the mundane and get people laughing has a huge
impact. Humor is like glue, and often
games and recreation get people laughing and enjoying life together. If I could start over, I would forget a lot
of the program. I would have planned
more unplanned time. Though that is hard
when nobody really knows you and the question on your reliability and
trustworthiness are at issue. A solid 6
months of just volunteering in other ministries, in the community, and planning
sessions for the eventual launch of the youth ministry likely would have been a
better route. Our congregation was so
supportive of all the work that we did to launch, and I think that the pressure
to build program was self imposed. I
needed a talking point and a rally, and that is how I went about it.
All in all, God has blessed our ministry. Our Middle School shrunk for a while, and
after several years of learning and growing with our youth (who are now acting
more as leaders), a culture has developed and we’ve busted at the seams. We have built youth rooms that the young people
have ownership of, we laugh and play games, and we learn about Jesus every
week. The High School actually dried up
for a whole year, and that frustrated a lot of people. I continued to tell folks that the High
School students need to want to have a youth group. After one missions trip with younger HS kids,
they wanted a youth group, they helped plan it, they picked a name, eeked out
an identity, and they are growing outward and inward in discipleship. We even have a parent help team, and some
volunteers that are consistent and want to contribute to the ministry. God is good.
I think that in Youth Ministry, regardless of how you go
about building, there is a pioneering phase that is going to be hard no matter
what. Your leadership will be tested,
your learning and understanding of culture will be stretched, but those who
keep going will see God’s work over the course of time. Feeling a bit Ecclesiastes like right
now. There is a time for everything
underneath the sun, including the blessings that God brings when you are
faithful. I could change a lot, but I
would never change the reasons and the passions that brought God’s work about.
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