I Shot the Bishop

John, Todd, Pat & Keith Willis

Several months had passed after the big visit from our Bishop and the burning of the mortgage on the Administration Building at FUMC-K.  The story of Pastor John Willis mistakenly referring to me as a Mormon to our DS and our Bishop had spread throughout the congregation and had become a huge inside joke for us all.  The youth were sponsoring one of our famous Coffeehouses, which always drew big crowds of church members.  Quietly, behind the scenes and unknown to the rest of the staff, I had been working on a Video the Bishop song- just as Ginny Johns had suggested (see yesterday's post).  While the lyrics had almost nothing in common with the truth, the song is one of my favorites.  And just think how much more memorable that day would have been if it had really happened this way! Here is Video the Bishop;  words and music (which you can't hear) by me.

I headed for the church on a clear winter's day

Hoping to hear what my Bishop had to say

As I cruised through Kissimmee in my old pick-up truck

I was praying that the Bishop might just bring me some luck

You see I'm out of a job and my dog has the flu

And my children belong in the Gatorland Zoo

So I'm hoping for help from the good LORD up above

I want to be famous and showered with love

We arrived at the church, just my pick-up truck and me

The place was so crowded that no one could see

I climbed up on my truck to secure a good view

When a man tossed me a camera and said "Boy, here's what to do..."

Video the Bishop from your pick-up truck

It's your ticket to wealth and fame

You'll probably be remembered in story and song...

As the man who shot the Bishop from the rear of a pick-up truck

The Bish began to speaking and I zoomed in to see

He was making his last statement, he was issuing a plea

I just kept on taping, he never saw me standing there

As he grabbed a piece of paper and waved it in the air

"This is the church mortgage," he said waving it to and fro

"We're now going to burn it 'cause you finally raised the dough!"

He set fire to the paper and put it in the urn

The crowd began to cheer and the flame began to burn

The flame kept getting higher and fear spread all around

It seemed that the Bishop might just burn our building down

And I just kept on shooting as the crowd began to run

Focusing on the Bishop and all that he had done

Video the Bishop from your pick-up truck
 It's your ticket to wealth and fame
You'll probably be remembered in story and song...
As the man who shot the Bishop from the rear of a pick-up truck

So now I'm rich and famous, and it just goes to show

That anyone can win on America's Favorite Videos

Yes, even MORMONS can win, on America's Favorite Videos!

When I finished, the crowd was in hysterics.  John and Pat Willis were laughing so hard I was afraid they would pass out.  I only performed the song twice, and the Bishop heard of it but never got to hear it.  Maybe someday when my album comes out...  I just know that for many, the song was more memorable than the actual day.  It's always nice to re-write history.

Because of Jesus,