Saturday, April 2, 2011

Youth Ministry Artifacts- #3 (& a Rant)

On the classic 1970's TV sit-com Happy Days, Richie Cunningham (played by Ron Howard) was a clean cut, all-American boy living in the late 1950s and early 60s.  He never used any language that would be considered "foul" by our standards today.  But when he would get angry, he would call someone a "Bucko."   As in, "Listen, Bucko- you can't talk like that to my girl!"  There was a girl in my very first youth group- Glenna Osborne- who used to call me a Bucko all the time.  In fact, when I moved on from that church they made me a wooden sign (Remember wood-burning kits?  Probably not...), honoring me with the first and only Bucko Award.
I have kept this silly thing all of these years because I found it to be hilarious- and more than a little accurate.  I was an 18 year old college sophomore when I started with that group and had no idea what I was doing.  My efforts were often futile and we didn't accomplish much- except for growing together and loving each other in Jesus' name.  But the important part of the award is the last line- "Thanks for being someone we can look up to and laugh at!!!!"  Therein lies today's archaeological dig.

I read a blog this past week that very proudly pointed out the the United Methodist Church quit using the abbreviation UMYF (United Methodist Youth Fellowship) for their student ministries a number of years ago.  They discontinued the "F."  They felt like "fellowship" sounded a little too light and fluffy for the way they wanted their youth ministries to be seen.  It sounded too much like pizza parties, beach trips and lock-ins.  Well in the words of my old Quaker Lake Camp buddy Michael McGuinn, "Puhhhleeeeesssseee!!!"  Someone really decided that too much fellowship is the issue in student ministry?  Someone really believes that too much fellowship is the reason teenagers leave the church after graduation and never come back?  As I warned my Twitter followers on Tuesday night, I feel a rant coming on...

I am not sure where I first heard it, but someone once said, "Show me a youth pastor with no sense of humor, and I'll show you an empty youth room."  I'll go a step farther- show me a youth pastor who can't laugh at her/himself and I'll show you someone who is not being authentic.  They are on their way to becoming a Pharisee.  It's like someone decided there is an 11th commandment that states, "Christians shalt not haveth funeth"- or something like that!  Certainly we need to take seriously the things Jesus taught.  Certainly we need to be serious about loving one another and serving "the least of these."  Certainly we need to think seriously about the condition of our soul and our eternal salvation.  But when did it become some sort of bizarre doctrine to take ourselves so seriously?  It is my belief ( and I can say this because I have lived it) that far too many of us who work with youth seek to fool them into believing we are more "together" than we actually are.  We are all Buckos- we are all sinners.  Students don't need false perfect examples- they need authentic women and men of God who acknowledge their failures and know how to laugh at themselves.  How can we possibly teach them about grace if we keep pretending we don't need it? 

Which beings us back to fellowship (For a definition, read Acts 2:42.  And yes, I know I sound like a broken record!~).  A youth pastor friend responded to my tweet about fellowship the other night by saying that some people he knew seemed to want to count "just hanging out" with students as part of their ministry.  He wasn't certain that it is a legitimate ministry.  OF COURSE IT IS!  Fellowship, hanging out, sharing one another's stories, creating a shared history- all of these things build the kind of Christian community that allow us to do great things in Jesus' name.  What do you think Jesus and the disciples did during the hours that are not chronicled in the Gospels?  They went fishing, sat around the campfire and ordered unleavened bread with tomato sauce from Papa Joseph's.  They hung out!  Had they not spent 3 years building bonds of friendship and trust, do you really think that group of ragamuffins would have been ready to turn the world upside down after Jesus ascended?  Would the early church have spread like wildfire without a commitment to sharing life together?  And I have to think that included in all of that time of fellowship was the ability to laugh with and at one another.  I can't imagine that they didn't give Thomas a hard time every time he said, "I doubt it."  I can't believe they didn't give Peter "the business" every time a rooster crowed.  Ted & Lee used to do this great scene from their show Fisheyes in which Peter and Andrew are lamenting how confusing Jesus could be, whether in his parables, his affection for random questions, or his doodling in the dirt.  It was hysterical to think about.  They laughed at themselves for not getting it- and we should be able to do the same.  Because the LORD knows there are plenty of times when we don't get it...

Everyone who does ministry must make prayerful decisions about what God is leading them to do in their specific situation.  I just know that looking back on 28 years (1978-2007) of youth ministry and hearing almost daily from former students (in part because of this blog) that there is nothing we did - not mission trips, not worship services, not bible studies, not anything- that has had a more lasting impact on their lives than the fellowship and laughter we shared together in Jesus' name.  I'm proud I was a Bucko for all of those years.  I'm glad I was someone they could look up to and laugh at.  Will your students remember you in 10 years because you could plan great events & teach a great class, or because you loved them enough (1 Thessalonians 2:8) to share life - authentic, failure-filled, laughter filled life- with them?  It's a question worth asking.  This isn't military intelligence.  "Fellowship" and "Ministry" are not mutually exclusive...  (That's a joke.  If you didn't get it, try reading this post one more time...  :D)  Now go hang out with some people and start changing the world.  In case you haven't heard, it's time for a Jesus Revolution!

Because of Jesus,

17 comments:

  1. Anonymous4/02/2011

    Come on, Carl- tell 'em what you really think! Awesome, hilarious and much needed. Thank you. -Craig from Twitter

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  2. Anonymous4/02/2011

    HUZZAH!! <3

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  3. Anonymous4/02/2011

    Papa Joseph's Unleavened Pizza? You are hysterical.. Jenn

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  4. Great points on fellowship! I think what people mean by "too much" fellowship is: youth groups who ONLY hang out and don't get the Word in. Then there are youth groups that are Bible Bible Bible all the time and don't grow because the youth minister doesn't have fun and can't relate to the students in that area. What a nightmare in both situations! I hope that as I'm growing as a young minister, I can be both those things, while realizing I'm inadequate, a Bucko, and God is doing all the work through me as long as I let him have the reigns!

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  5. Well said, Heather. Regardless of how you approach ministry, Jesus must be at the center of it all. Blessings to you!

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  6. As a former MYF-er, I concur with your "puuuuuh-leez"!!!! My teenage years spent in MYF are treasured memories tucked in the hope chest of my heart. Though never perfect (and none are, let's face it), it was because of this group that I stayed plugged into the things of the Lord. I'm forever grateful. :-)

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  7. This is so true, your relationship with people wiill impact their lives more than the lessons you teach. Thanks for sharing.

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  8. Thanks for sharing Angie and Toyin O. Angie you are so right- youth group are never perfect, but they should always be memorable.

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  9. Anonymous4/02/2011

    In your years at FUMC-Kissimmee you were never perfect but you were ALWAYS there for us- and that changed all of our lives. Thank you for being a Bucko.

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  10. Anonymous4/02/2011

    It could grip it by the husk!

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  11. For those who may not know, the previous comment is a quote from Monty Python's Holy Grail. Now THAT is youth ministry! :)

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  12. Anonymous4/02/2011

    I love thinking about the disciples as real people, sitting around shooting the breeze and picking on each other. It makes me feel like I can do something great too, even though I am a bucko. Amazing post. - Chris Cooper, Chicago

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  13. Great post, Carl. From one 'bucko' to another, I felt like you did a great job of balancing the need to teach with the need to fellowship. Your words apply to all ministries of the church, not just youth ministries. The best music groups I've sung with have been able to mix serious musicianship with having a good time with each other.

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  14. Anonymous4/02/2011

    I remember spending hours in your office in Kissimmee just hanging out. You always made us feel like we were the most important people you knew. I will never forget that feeling. Hope you are well. God Bless! - Jill

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  15. Thanks Hal and Jill- both of those comments mean more to me than you could ever know! :)

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  16. David Fields4/02/2011

    Do you think that Jesus was the first stand up comedian and his jokes were misinterpreted as parables. I have noticed lately that comedians keep us honest about current events and well just about everything just like Jesus did in his day.

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  17. Anonymous4/03/2011

    This post should be required reading for anyone who ever hopes to succeed in church work. I have e-mailed a link to all my staff. -Rev. Kirk Henson, Seattle

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Thanks for reading,and thanks for your comment!