Life Together

L to R, Bottom to Top:  Andy Maynard, Donna Haynes Myers, Steve Semmler, Lisa Ramos Moran, Denise May Langley, Martha Ratledge Farlow, Beth Vestal McGalliard, Marilyn Jones, Carl Semmler, Alan Brown, Mark Hyde, Kathy Semmler, Carl Jones, Mark Farlow, Elizabeth Hyde, Dan Moran, Bob McGalliard.  Not pictured:  Chuck and Tammy Foster.

For the past two days I have written about a concert event from 1997 featuring the band Geoff Moore & the Distance.  Today I want to begin by letting words from one of Geoff's songs- Life Together- speak for me. 

They showed me what it was to really be a friend

It didn't matter what you had, how you looked or what you said

We'd ride our bikes down the middle of the street

and at the top of our lungs you could hear us scream-

"Friends forever to the end, on this my friend you can depend"

This is life together...

Everything that has been written in the nearly one year since I began this blog owes its roots to the youth group I grew up in at New Garden Friends Meeting in Greensboro, NC.  One of my early posts spoke of the friendship and adventures we shared, but looking back I don't think I did that incredible group of people justice, and so today I try again.  I was in 8th grade when Steve Semmler finally convinced me to go roller skating with that group, and becoming involved changed my entire life.  I was spiritually stagnant at the time.  The people I was hanging out with were not people who were leading me the right direction in life.   I really had no interests besides sports.  When that group of people- Steve, Carl Semmler, Beth Vestal, Tammy Doggett, Lisa Ramos, Andy Maynard, Tim Vail, Martha Ratledge, Becky Meredith, Joe Cannady, Joe Willingham, Julie Oden, Melissa Meredith, Roy Parkhurst, Mary Lynne Burris and others (including the infamous Ossman clan and our fabulous leaders, like Rob Mitchell and DB3!)- became a part of my life, everything changed. Forever.

We grew up, and we grew closer. Beth, Tammy, Becky, Steve, Carl and I were often inseparable during those years, with the others joining us at various times.  These were the people who taught me about life, faith, relationships and so much more.  We turned to each other with difficult questions.  When the girls didn't understand suggestive jokes, they came to us for translation.  When we had trouble with girls, we turned to them- even if sometimes they were the girls we were having troubles with!  There were so many trips, so many adventures, so many late night back rubs, so much bad Jungle Golf and so many laughs.  As we grew older and left youth group and high school, some of the group began to fall away, moving on to new friends and new places. But for many of us, there was a second act still to come.

Through college and life immediately after those years, the group began to expand.  Great friends from Quaker Lake and college joined our merry band of misfits.  Denise May, Mark and Elizabeth Hyde, Alan Brown, Donna Haynes, Belinda Marley and others were often found hanging out with us.  The old crew began to get into serious relationships (even getting married!) and spouses joined the gang.  Sunday afternoon football games, lunch after meeting for worship, and some truly ridiculous parties marked those years.  The parties at the apartment at Chateau at Random Woods that Steve, Alan and I shared were legendary, if only for the Guess the Leftover games.  At some point around 1980, Martha and I (who were both working at NGFM at the time) began to plan reunion beach trips for the old gang and our new friends.  It was in the second year of this planning that we first discovered the Betsy B.  Life together was indeed good.

Things change.  Children are born, people move away and life goes on.  We have not all seen each other much these past years, partly because Steve is in Ohio and I am in Florida.  It would be easy to feel like the bond we shared is broken.  There are so many relationships in life that are passing and temporary, and perhaps these were no more special than any other.  In May of 2006, we held a memorial service for my Dad at NGFM. He had passed away in February in Florida, but we wanted to do something in NC where he had lived most of his life.  I knew in advance that Steve was coming from Ohio.  I knew of a few others who might attend from my old group of friends.  I was astonished to find that almost everyone was there.  You can see them in the picture at top; it was taken after the service at Bob and Beth's home.  I could not that day, nor can I now, express what having them there meant to Marilyn and I, and to my mother.  They didn't have to come- they wanted to.  There is a bond that can't be broken, a bond not forged by human hands...

I tell you all of this to say once again that this group of people and the life together that we shared was the model for every youth group I ever led.  I prayed constantly that the students I served would get it- that they would want to be more than a youth group, that they would want to be family.  Ohana.  "Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten" (Lilo & Stitch).  Sometimes it worked, other times it did not.  I just know that I was (and will be again someday) at my best when I was with that group of friends, even though my best was seldom all that good.  I pray for them, and I thank God for them almost every day.  Friends forever to the end, the song says.  Life Together.  Sounds about right to me.  I'll continue tomorrow with a new definition of BFF...

Because of Jesus,