A Visit To Memory Lane

Yesterday I returned to Tampa after spending 5 glorious, wondrous days in my native state of North Carolina. It was more than amazing to share warm hugs and big laughs with people I had not seen in many years- some in over 20. People kept asking about the purpose of my trip, when in fact people were the purpose of my trip- and it was a major success! One of my friends answered that question by saying. "It's a Carl reunion," And it did feel that way. There will be much more written about this adventure as the week goes on, but after hitting the road at 4 am yesterday and driving the 700 miles home, I am reminded that the words "spring chicken" no longer apply to me. So today you get a brief summary of my journey.

Last Friday I drove past the house you see above at 405 Springtime Road in the Guilford College area of Greensboro. My parents had this house built in 1964, and we lived there throughout my childhood and young adult years. For the purpose of this trip, it may as well as well have been located at 405 Memory Lane. That house was ground zero for so many adventures, so many relationships and sooooo many memories. It still looks great, and even though many of the leaves have not turned yet, the tree you see welcomed to me to Autumn- a season which for all practical purposes does not exist in Florida. The lawn looks too good, making me think that the front yard football games may be a thing of the past. When I told my friend Carl Semmler about my "drive by" he wondered if the current residents had left the living room unfurnished (The Chinese Room- you had to sit on the floor!) as my parents had for all those many years. It was a powerful visit for me. They say you can't go home again. They also say home is where the heart is. As I took that picture and the memories of my years in NC flooded my soul I was much more connected to the second of those old sayings than the first...

To the dozens of people with whom I sat and visited during my trip, thank you for making my time with you so special. There will be more specifics coming in the Saturday Shout Outs later this week, but the love, grace and friendship you showed me was overwhelming. I am truly blessed.

To the dozens of other friends I didn't get to see, please know that you were thought of, talked about and missed. Marilyn and I will be back before too long and hopefully we can catch up with even more of you the next time around. I know that we can't live in the past. But for a few days, it was really nice to take up residence at 405 Memory Lane and just revel in the people and events that made me who I am today. And, as it turns out, Memory Lane can be a great starting point for planning new adventures. But more on that later this week. I hope you missed me while I was gone, dear readers. Have a blessed day, and peace be with you!

Because of Jesus,

Real Life

Having just finished a big 3-day birthday weekend and having arrived at the ripe young age of 55, today I find myself preparing for yet another adventure. Tomorrow morning I will set sail for North Carolina all by my lonesome to visit friends and enjoy some serious time away from Florida. Now don't get me wrong- I have an amazing family and I love them very much. I have great friends (thanks for the cupcakes, Jen!) scattered all over the Sunshine State. But NC is home, and I am very excited to spend a few days there just reconnecting.

For much of the past 5 years many of my friendships have been nurtured, rekindled and jump-started through the use of technology. This blog, my Twitter account, Marilyn's Facebook and the ability to text with old friends have been a gift from God. There is little doubt in my mind that there have been times when these tools have been the life jacket that kept me afloat in hard times and tough situations. Yesterday's many, many birthday greetings on FB and Twitter are an easy example of the positive power of social media in my life. But nothing beats the power of human contact- and starting tomorrow, I am going to get 5 days of reuniting with people I care about very much, many of whom I haven't seen in a very long time. This computer has been a a blessing- but there is nothing better that real life.

So for the next week there will be an interweb "brownout" in my life. Don't look for any posts here, and there will be very few Twitter updates either. I'm going to be immersed in reality. There will be real hugs, real laughter, great memories and quite possibly a tear or two. The downside to reality is that, as the movie once suggested, sometimes reality bites. But the risk is sooooo worth the reward! So have a great week, miss me while I'm gone, and get ready for some great stories starting one week from today when I return. Technology, family, friends and most importantly the grace of God have kept me afloat for a long time. Now it's time to dive in and do some swimming. Peace, my friends!

Because of Jesus,

The Ol' Double Nickel

Today is my birthday. I am 55 years old. They say age is just a number. I am guessing that whoever "they" is hasn't hit the ol' double nickel! I know in this day and age 55 is not really old, but it sure does sound like it ought to be. So today I will celebrate appropriately. I will eat a high fiber cereal for breakfast. I will complain about things I know nothing about. I will drive too slow in the left lane and NEVER turn off my turn signal. I will sign up for AARP, and with any luck I will eat my birthday dinner early bird style- around 4 PM. And then it's off to bed around 9:30. It's time to settle in to a new lifestyle.

In fact, nothing could be further from the truth! It was a wonderful weekend filled with awesome football and baseball, great times with family and friends and even a movie (The Equalizer) with my dear friend Lisa. We all celebrated last night at the Olive Garden while watching Will work; tonight there will be big birthday dinner at Bahama Breeze. Tomorrow there will be final preparations for my trip to NC, and then Wednesday I will make the drive north. It's going to be a great birthday week, full of adventure and excitement. Maybe 55 really is just number. I feel good, life is good, and I am loved and blessed. I don't feel a day over 52! Have a wonderful day, my friends, and remember to enjoy this day that we have all been given. 

Because of Jesus,

The National Youth Workers Convention: My Top 10 Memories

The Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention is going on this weekend in Sacramento, and even after 8 years away I still miss those events. I attended 18 of the conventions (NYWC) between 1982 and 2006. The full list of conventions I attended is as follows:  Dallas (1982, 2001); Atlanta (1987, 2000, 2004);  Chicago (1988); Orlando (1989);  Nashville (1995, 2002);  Anaheim (1996); Philadelphia (1985, 1997); Denver (1998); Cincinnati (1999); Phoenix (2003); Sacramento (2005); 
Pittsburgh (2005); and Charlotte (2006). Today I want to remember some of the people, speakers, seminars and events that made those conventions such life-changers for me. Today I take a look back at 10 of the best moments. Two of my very best memories- Mike Yaconelli's early morning bible study and the Exhibit Hall (featuring every youth ministry resource you can imagine, from finger blasters to bibles)- happened every year and are not included on this list. 

1. Dallas, 1982- Convention #1 has to go at the top of the list. I was amazed at everything, but among my favorite memories are hearing Tony Campolo speak for the first time; meeting Mike Yaconelli for the first time; Jim Burns and his incredible Advanced Youth Ministry seminar; the Wittenburg Door Banquet with radical speaker Dick Gregory; and of course, my amazing souvenir belt buckle (pictured).
2. Atlanta, 2004-  Tic Long offered me the opportunity to lead my very own NYWC Seminar, which was a dream of mine. I had finally achieved the status I always desired- that of Minor Christian Celebrity. Very minor. My seminar was called Pagan Eye For the Christian Guy and focused on taking our ministries out of the church and into the community. It was well attended and well received. A true highlight of my professional career.
3. Phoenix, 2003- I signed up for a two day intensive seminar (called Critical Concerns Courses in those days) led by Yac and Fil Anderson, who had been my Young Life leader during my first couple of years of high school. It was a spiritual growth workshop, where we spent 8 hours focused on the scripture found in John 12:1-8 where Mary pours perfume on Jesus' feet. We literally soaked in the scripture, building our own clay jars and making our own perfume. It was amazing. The fact that Yac would be killed in a car wreck less than a month later made it all the more significant to me...

4. Philadelphia, 1997- All of us who had served 20 years or more in student ministry were called to the stage and presented with a framed copy of the great Geoff Moore & the Distance song, Only A Fool- while Geoff and the boys sang it to us. The framed copy (pictured) still hangs on a wall in my home.
5. Atlanta, 1987-  The Country Quakers (myself, Terry Venable and Ray Luther) sang Blue Pick-Up Truck at the Wittenburg Door Banquet and rocked the house! Also that same year Wayne Rice did a great Sinatra impression while singing I Did It His Way...  Classic.
6. 1982-2006-  The "group singing" in the general sessions was always just incredible. Over the years I was fortunate enough to share in worship with Yohann Anderson, James Ward, Bob Stromberg, Chris Tomlin, 721, Starfield and of course, *David Crowder Band. I can't even begin to explain how these amazing artists impacted my life and my ministry, or how many of their songs I took home to my groups. I used to say that the Angels would have a hard time matching the sound of 1000 youth workers singing "Where justice rolls down like a mighty water" or "There is no one like you..."
7. Dallas, 2001- Late Night Live on the final night of the convention was always good, but in 2001 it was simply awesome! Lost And Found came out to warm up the crowd, doing cover songs and claiming not to be themselves. When asked who they were, they responded with crazy names like Czars of Clay, Second Day or abcTalk. Comedian Brad Stine joined in with his "Put a helmet on!" bit, which killed. Lost And Found then came out for real and played my request, Used To Be. And finally CPR closed with their brilliant improv act. Best. Night. Ever! And I was on the front row...

8. Philadelphia, 1997- During general sessions YS used to have a set of bleachers on the main stage that they called The Peanut Gallery. The seats were first come, first served, and in those days me & The Banana Splits were always first because we volunteered to do set-ups before the sessions. We usually avoided the Peanut Gallery (preferring the front row) but for some reason we sat in the bleachers for a session featuring Third Day. Mac Powell (complete with blond hair!) came over and sat with us during one of the songs, as did Mark Lee. I may be wrong, but I think Campolo spoke at that session too. A great memory!
9. Anaheim, 1996- We got on an elevator at the hotel with some weird looking British dudes we had never seen before. A few hours later we were worshipping with them. We had just encountered Deliriou5- and that is something you never forget. I had never experienced worship quite like that. I still get chills every time I hear Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble?
10. Nashville, 1995- It should come as no surprise that music was the thing at my first Nashville NYWC. Michael W. Smith showed up unannounced and played some songs from the then-unreleased I'll Lead You Home album. PRF performed with help from members of Jars of Clay. Audio Adrenaline played without lead singer Mark Stuart, who had laryngitis. One of their roadies sang lead on Big House. And I met Geoff Moore for the first time over dinner at the hotel. It was all awesome!
11. BONUS:  Chicago, 1988- Can't leave this year off the list. It was the year I roomed with Terry Venable and got the "You're dead meat!" call from his wife Leigh Anne at 5 AM because their sick child had kept her up all night. It also featured the only speaker I ever walked out on in 18 conventions- Rev. Charles Stanley. But that is a story for another day... 

I could go on, but I'll stop there. The NYWC has a special place in my heart, and I hope this has been an amazing weekend for everyone in Sacramento. I know that the leadership and the tone of the conventions have changed a great deal since 2006, but one thing will never change- the best part was always the time spent with the other participants just talking shop. These were other people who actually understood what it was like to live life as a youth pastor. My prayer is that all youth workers will feel the love and support in their lives that the NYWC always gave me. And that there's still room on the schedule to get into a little trouble...  :)

Because of Jesus,

Saturday Shout Outs!

Happy October, everyone, and welcome to an Autumn edition of my Saturday Shout Outs! We've got baseball playoffs, great college football, pumpkin cheesecake at Olive Garden and a little chill in the air in the evenings- even here in Florida tonight! October has always been a big month for me, with my birthday, Marilyn's birthday, my Mom's birthday and now even Will's girlfriend Michelle's birthday as well! There was also a time way back in the day when it felt like every relationship disaster that happened to myself or any of my friends took place this month. So I always approach October with a "never a dull moment" kind of attitude. So what do I have to shout about today? Read on, dear friends!

• One week from today I will have already been in NC for a few days on my solo adventure to visit friends and eat barbecue! I'm still trying to shoehorn in as many meet ups as possible, so give me a shout (813-919-3755) if you'd like to catch up. I do know for certain that next Saturday I will be doing live shout outs at the Pizza Inn in High Point with anyone who cares to join me! I'll be there around noon and will hang out a while, so stop by if you can. There are other "gatherings" in the works as well, so stay tuned for more information! Or make your own plans and just tell me when to show up!  
• You know my little "Shout Outs" avatar at the top of the page? Last week I got a text from Ashley Goad (Springfield Friends Meeting) who was in South Africa at the time saying she had just seen the little guy on something there. She said it confused her a bit, making her wonder if it was already Saturday and where the shout outs were. It's nice to know this blog can get in your heads like that! LOL She's home safely now but headed back to Haiti soon so keep her in your prayers. 
• Trey Augenblick (FUMC-Kissimmee) became a dad on October 2nd when baby Stella was born! Baby and mother Jamie are doing well, but I'm guessing Aunt Erin and Grandma Jill are chomping at the bit to get down here from Michigan and see them all! Congrats to all!
• Kena Hurt (Wesley Memorial UMC) took her daughter to Raymond James Stadium here in Tampa last night to see the boy band One Direction in concert. Kena (and every parent who does such things) not only gets votes for Mom of the Year, I am pretty sure it gives her a leg up on sainthood! Well done, Kena!
• Marilyn is headed to Orlando this afternoon to spend tonight and tomorrow with her dear friend Gaylynn Brown. Among their other adventures they will be going to a Disney Villains Party tonight at the Disney Hollywood Studios- from 10 pm - 3am! Before you go to sleep tonight you might want to offer up a prayer for my wife- it's been a few years since she tried to Rec Around the Clock! I know they will have a blast!
• Continued prayers for Cyndi Reep Browning (FUMC-K) as she looks for a new job.
• Monday, October 6th, is my birthday. I hit the old double nickel, the speed limit, el cincuenta y cinco. At this point in life I feel both a little old and a bit surprised I made it this far. But the celebrating has already begun and I don't plan to stop anytime soon!
• My World Series prediction- the Washington Nationals (that's for you, Todd Willis & Jacob Lupfer) will beat the Kansas City Royals (I love a good underdog). 7 games.
• Susan Allen (NCYM & Quaker Lake) I am counting on you to enjoy all the hoopla at Ole Miss today and to cheer your Rebels on to a victory over Darth Saban and Alabama! I know you can do it! It's time to put the Crimson Elephants in their place!
• And finally...I see that Terry & Leigh Ann Venable (QLC) and Cynthia Davis Strider (QLC & Cedar Square Friends) are about to become a grandparents. Having people I knew when they were middle school campers and I was on staff enter that realm does not help the feeling of old age that is creeping over me this weekend, but still- how AWESOME is that for them! We will continue to pray for those families.

That's all I've got for now. Have a wonderful Saturday, a blessed Sunday, and if you're in the Greensboro/High Point area be looking for me starting Wednesday night. Hurricane Carl is coming to town!

Because of Jesus,

#TBT: Youth Ministry Made Simple...er

A vintage post for a Throwback Thursday...

I was a youth pastor for about 28 years, and have been out of the ministry for nearly 8 years now. And today I am going to share the most important thing I know about ministry to students, something that has become more clear to me the longer I have been away from serving churches. You want to know the key to simplifying student ministry? Want to know the one thing you can do (because Jesus does the rest!) that makes youth ministry have a lasting impact in the lives of teenagers? Well listen up, because here it is. Go where the youth are. That's it. And here's why....

All of pictures on this post have one thing in common- not a one of them was taken at a church! One of the first things I ever learned as a youth pastor was that waiting for students to show up at church was not an effective way to build relationships with them or to help them grow in their relationships with Jesus. Unless they grow up in the church, lots of students are a little scared of the place. I was taught early on that in order to really let kids know that you care, you had to meet them on"their turf." That meant seeing them at their homes, their schools and their extra-curricular activities. So I did. Like most professional (and many volunteer) youth workers I ate many school lunches, was attacked by numerous household pets (and a couple of parents) and spent many a happy moment with students in restaurants and arcades. And I spent hours- more hours than you could count or would believe- at sporting events, band concerts, dance recitals, school fund-raisers, cheer-leading competitions, school plays, piano recitals and much more. There was nothing quite as good for the ministry's PR as being at football games in Trinity, NC or Waycross, GA on a Friday night and being seen by the entire community. There was nothing quite as odd as going to swimming, gymnastics or badminton competitions when I was in Hinsdale, IL  (It is hard to cheer for a badminton match and look enthusiastic. "Kill that birdie, kill that birdie, GO GO!") and seeing the stunned looks on the faces of the students who could not believe I actually showed up. No matter the event, I made an effort to see each student in action at least once a "season." It was important ministry- even though I did have one church tell me that the hours spent at such events did not count as work (that same church at one point actually had me punching a time clock). I would submit to you now that not only did those hours count, but in many ways they were Job #1.

Sometimes the events themselves were quite tedious. I remember going to a three hour piano recital to see two students perform- and both of them played in the last 15 minutes! I remember going to soccer match after soccer match, trying desperately to pretend I enjoyed the sport. I pulled for incredibly bad football teams, watched horrific marching bands and clapped loudly for off-key violin players. I also saw some amazing things over the years. But in reality, the results didn't matter. What mattered was being there. I loved seeing students after the event, in the lunch room or at their home and hearing the question:  "Why are you here?" When I gave them the simple answer- "To see you"- their smiles told me I had just taken a step towards a real relationship with a teenager. And real relationships open doors for sharing Jesus.

Another great thing that happens when you are "there" is that you impact more than just the students you already know. Their friends begin to ask who you are and why you are there. You meet new kids and start new relationships. Or you visit their homes and connect in new ways with parents.It is an amazing thing. Many of my best memories and answered prayers involve youth whose parents did not attend the churches I worked at, but came to us through relationships built away from the church buildings. It is important for people in any kind of ministry to remember that Jesus had no "church home." He was always out among the people. And that is where we need to be as well.

The movie Field of Dreams taught us that "if you build it, they will come." While it is one of my favorite movies, when it comes to youth ministry (and ministry in general) that particular statement is a lie. The truth is much closer to this- If you show them you care, they will come. So as my old buddy Geoff Moore would say, "It's time to get out there- and play ball!" It's time to cut back on office work, skip a few staff meetings and get out there and love students- on their turf!  Youth work is hard. But it can be a little bit simpler if we remember that relationships are Job #1. They don't care how much we know until they know how much we care.  It's a truth that will never change.

Because of Jesus,

In Defense of Baseball

I was up late last night and don't have a real post for today. But I do have a brief message for the many minions out there who have been brainwashed into believing that baseball is boring. Last night, the Kansas City Royals played their first postseason game in 29 years. The stadium was rocking. Two excellent pitchers started well but then got roughed up a bit. The Royal's manager did something stupid. They fell way behind, then battled back. They tied the game in the 9th inning and won it in the 12th. And now they get to play a playoff series and the Oakland A's get to go on vacation. The Royals are not my team, but I cheered hard for them last night. And because in baseball there is no clock it never struck midnight- and Cinderella is still playing! So here's my final, thoughtful and sophisticated message to all of you who find baseball to be slow moving and boring...

It's October. The fun is just beginning. Now let's go Pirates!