Roadblocks

In May of 1979 myself and my friends Alan Brown and Carl Semmler left Greensboro, NC for a month long road trip. Traveling in my dad's Honda Civic Wagon (his name was Clyde) we made stops in Chattanooga, New Orleans, San Antonio and Flagstaff. We visited the Grand Canyon and the Painted Desert. We made it to Las Vegas to visit my uncle and his family before heading to LA. The trip may sound orderly and well planned, but trust me- it was anything but. There were far too many misadventures to recount them all here today, but I do want to share one. Our plan was to leave southern Cali and drive up the Pacific Coast Highway to San Francisco. Upon further review before leaving LA we discovered three major problems. First, we were on the west coast and had to get back to the east coast, and we were already running short on funds. Secondly, this was during the first major gas crisis in our country, and the state of CA was rationing. You could only buy gas every other day, based on your license plate numbers. And finally, and most decidedly, we learned there has been a major mudslide a week or so earlier, and large portions of the PCH we impassable. Closed to all traffic- even Clyde. So with much regret, we gave up on seeing San Fran and began the trek back east. To this day, I have still never been. Sacramento was as close as I ever got.

Every journey comes with roadblocks. Life on the #NarrowRoad is no different. Some are just irritants, little hassles that can be handled fairly easily with a small change of direction. Some require full detours that take us places we had never planned to go, changing both our direction and our timing. And sometimes, even as we follow Jesus, the roadblocks we encounter are mudslides that bury the path in a way that simply makes us stop. There is nothing to do but re-evaluate our goals and our map and seek the direction that Jesus would have us go. And that can be a real pain, occasionally leaving us lost and frustrated.

The question is not "Will we encounter roadblocks as we try to follow Jesus?" We will, and they will come in all shapes and sizes. Some will be potholes, easily maneuvered  around. Some will be wrecks that block one lane but allow us to choose another. Some will be 5 car pile-ups that back traffic up for hours. And sometimes the road will be buried under mud, or the bridge will be out. The question is not "if." The question is "How do we respond when detours arise or the road is closed?" Are we easily frustrated? Are we easily defeated? Do we give up when the easy path is shut down and we are forced to go a more difficult way? The #NarrowRoad is narrow for a reason. It takes work, dedication, sacrifice and commitment to travel it with any level of success. Too many times the roadblocks stop us in our tracks. To really follow Jesus, we have to break through. We have to love when others don't, care when others won't, and find ways to bring praise to the One who made us.

There is a point, however, when the highway analogy breaks down. On a road trip, our goal is generally to get where we WANT to go. On the #NarrowRoad, we seek destinations where God NEEDS us to be. Sometimes the very things that seem to block our paths are God's means of redirecting us. Sometimes these are subtle. And sometimes they are anything but. Think abut the stories from scripture. Noah's roadblock was being asked to build a boat when there was no water. Moses was given a speaking engagement with a king when he had a speech impediment. David was asked to slay a giant with a rock; he later had to bounce back from great sexual sin to lead God's people as he chose King. Peter denied knowing Jesus; the other disciples ran away and hid when the Messiah needed them. Paul was shipwrecked, beaten and thrown in jail. And all of them wound up exactly where God need them to be!

My query for us all today is this- what are the things in our lives that we see as roadblocks but are actually God sending us a new direction? On that 1979 trip we has to skip northern California, and I really wanted to go. But here's the deal. If we hadn't been roadblocked into starting back when we did and on the route we did, we would have missed some of the most amazing adventures of that trip. So embrace life's roadblocks. There just may be something amazing awaiting on the other side.

Because of Jesus,

Flashback Friday: The Other Carl

Welcome to another Flashback Friday. The group of people in this picture have been on my mind a lot lately, so this is a very natural flashback. It's good to have you along for the ride...

Those of you who are familiar with this blog will be aware of the name Carl Semmler (at right with a bunch of other famous people- he's the groom!). Carl and I grew up going to school together and he worked as a lifeguard at Quaker Lake Camp for several summers when I was also on staff. But most importantly he, Alan Brown and I took a month long cross country trip in May of 1979. He has been featured in several stories here previously, including his work on the infamous Project Myrtle and the legend of the Ash Tray Kid. Today I want to remember a few more.

When we were in high school our New Garden Friends youth group attended a gathering of local Quaker youth groups called a Quarterly Meeting. We knew almost no one else there, and realized quickly that some of the other groups were a good bit more "religious" than we were. After some gathering time, we were seated in a circle, with the groups sitting together. The leader said we were going to go around the circle and introduce ourselves, and from where they started there were maybe 7 or 8 youth who would go before our first representative, Carl. The first person began by telling their name, church and the exact day and time they had been "saved." This was not a word we had in our spiritual vocabulary. We talked about "walking in the Light" and being on a "spiritual journey," not about THE day we met Jesus. As each person followed the same pattern, we grew more uncomfortable and wondered what Carl would say. When his turn arrived, he kept it simple: "I'm Carl Semmler from New Garden, and I play basketball." The pressure was immediately off the rest of us, and we were very grateful to Carl for his courage to say only what he knew to be true at the time.

Carl was a master prank player at QLC (although he and Mark Farlow were the recipients of maybe the greatest prank ever, when the Dentiste twins and Emily Ballus went in their room in the lodge and stringed it, making it look like one of those laser systems thieves have to avoid in the movies. They then put molasses on the string and hung extremely stinky lake weed all over the room. It was a classic!). One summer Carl had decided to try a nasty and daring prank on one of the female staff members who used a shampoo that was dark and gooey- much like pancake syrup! He thought he would replace her shampoo with syrup and see what would happen. Unfortunately for Carl, this was the summer the "no wasteful pranks" rules went into effect, so he could not use syrup. He spent all summer trying to make his own, boiling down tree bark to get sap and hoping for a miracle. He did not get one, but he did manage to ruin a perfectly good pot from the kitchen in the process. Ah, what might have been...

Carl, Alan and I began our trip out west by leaving Greensboro for Chattanooga and Carl's Uncle Ronnie's house. We left in my Dad's Honda Civic wagon that we called Clyde, and we were loaded down with camping gear, luggage and a tin of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies given to us by Martha Ratledge. For reasons I no longer remember, we went from NC to TN by way of Atlanta. We hit Atlanta around afternoon rush hour, and Alan was driving while Carl was asleep in the back seat. He awoke to find us in the middle of a traffic jam, and greeted us with the following words: "No rush guys, but I need to find a bathroom." Less than a minute later he was throwing up all over the back seat. Desperate for damage control, I dumped some (but not all) Martha's cookies on the floor and handed him the tin to barf in- but it was no use. We finally worked our way off of the interstate and to a gas station, where we cleaned up the car- but the smell was unbearable. The first day of a month long trip and Carl had totaled the interior of Clyde. Lacking anything else (and apparently common sense as well) we used my Gillette Foamy Lemon-Lime shaving creme on the vinyl seats to try and mask the smell. The result was a smell never before or since found in this world or any other. We made it to Chattanooga and begged Uncle Ronnie to keep Carl, but he refused, and so we carried on without further incident. In fairness to Carl (and Alan) it should be pointed out that there was also a time on that trip when they saved my life. I was trapped in Clyde by a demonic windshield wiper as the car burned and we teetered on the edge of the Grand Canyon. Or at least that's their story...

My life- and therefore this blog- has been filled with extraordinary people. Carl Semmler is one of those them...even if he did make us waste some perfectly good cookies! Thanks for the memories, Carl!

Because of Jesus,

Throwback Thursday: Big Blue Lives!!!

On Monday of this week my family was crashed in front of the TV trying to recover from a busy weekend when Will found a "behind the scenes" special about the making of National Lampoon's Vacation for us to watch. We love that movie and enjoyed the stories the cast and crew were sharing. Of particular interest was how they thought of that horrible pea green car- the Family Truckster- as part of the cast. It was so important to the the telling of the hilarious road trip that makes that movie one you can watch over and over again. It was custom made to be one-of-a-kind, to be ugly, and to be special. And it was.

Those thoughts were still in fresh in my mind Tuesday evening when one of my old Springfield Friends Meeting youth, Michael Mercadante, posted a picture on Facebook and tagged a ton of former students. He had been on the road somewhere in the Archdale/Trinity/High Point area, when he saw this:

Stunned does not begin to describe my reaction! Let me give you a little history. When I arrived at SFM in 1986, they had a small white bus that seated 14. It had no radio, no AC and no power. It was just a basic mode of transportation for a small group, and it was dying. After some (lots) of complaining, using a contact in the used car business and getting some very generous donations for a few key families, we were able to buy a used Dodge Van to replace the bus. After our own Butch Moran lettered it for us and made it official, we felt like the toast of the town cruising around in our fancy new blue van! This was somewhere in the neighborhood of early 1989. And the van was used. So you understand why I was STUNNED to discover it is still on the road some 25 years later. Several Facebook comments from others indicated they see it occasionally in the area. Ryan Simmons ever claimed to be its neighbor. But I had no idea it still existed. 

My second reaction was to feel like I had just rediscovered an old friend- and from the comments it sounded like many of those now 30/40 year old youth felt the same way. I spent the better part of  6 years behind the wheel of that van. I remember trying to clean & deodorize it so that adult classes and senior citizens groups could use it- and I usually drove for them too. It took the youth group on so many adventures, to so many restaurants, movies and concerts. The old beast carried us to serve at the local soup kitchen every week during summers. It helped take groups to Quaker Lake Camp, to Florida (twice) and to Myrtle Beach (at least 4 times) during my years at SFM.It is pictured at left on our infamous 1992 snowy weekend in Myrtle Beach, complete with Butch's original lettering. As mentioned in the comments on Facebook, it often smelled like dirty socks. The back windows barely opened which was often bad for circulation and classic teenage smells, but good for keeping butts from public view. There was nothing fancy about Big Blue. Yet it was, just like the Griswold's truckster, a big part of our story. I remember driving in nearly every Monday night to take kids home after our TNT program. It was part of the community. It was so much more than just a vehicle- it was a tool for ministry!

To be honest, I have no idea how much longer it stayed at SFM after I left in 1994, but long enough that is was re-lettered at some point. The mileage on it must be staggering. The paint has clearly faded. And from what I can tell through the back glass, it appears to be hauling junk now. But trust me when I tell you that old Blue Thunder (as Mike Merc called it on FB) was a key player in a great youth ministry and a wonderful church. So important, in fact, that I am inducting it as the first inanimate object in my Youth Ministry Hall of Fame!  At over 25 years old now, I hope she will soon rest in peace. Or be restored as an antique! Now there's an idea...

Because of Jesus,

7 Tips For Student Ministry Trips

Me napping in Nashville- 1999 Mission Trip

Trips were always among my favorite things about being in student ministry, and I led a bunch of them over my 28 years of service- by my best estimate somewhere in the neighborhood of 100!  There were more than a dozen trips to NYC; nearly 20 trips to Myrtle Beach; 10 or so ski trips; international trips to Mexico and the Bahamas; and various trips to DC, Nashville, Chicago, Spartanburg, Walt Disney World and Dungannon, VA.  There were also retreats, concerts and Night of Joy/Rock the Universe, as well as various day trips.  We traveled a lot, and my former students tell me those trips were among the best things they have ever experienced.  Over those years I compiled a lot of miles in vans and learned a lot of tips to help keep me sane!  Today I share 7 of my worst kept secrets with you.  Not included is the important but obvious tip, "Never pass up an opportunity to take a nap!"  I hope you enjoy this list...

1)  Know Your Purpose - Every trip should have a main purpose; if not, I'm not sure why you would be taking it.  And whatever that main purpose is, build the trip around it.  Mission trips are obvious, but most every other trip you need to advertise and schedule to fit your purpose.  When we went to Myrtle Beach, our purpose was fellowship, and we said so.  It would have been unfair and purpose-defeating to schedule 6 hours of study or service each day.  But there was nothing wrong with a house meeting, devo and worship at the end of each day to remind them why our group exists in the first place- that was a part of the fellowship.  Don't try to pull a bait & switch on your students.  Know your purpose.

Me expressing my expectations at
Myrtle Beach, 2004

2)  Express Expectations - I have known some excellent, effective youth pastors who never took a trip without passing out a 3 page list of rules for the event.  That was never my style.  Instead, I was a big believer in shared expectations.  I would always sit my groups down on the first night and tell them what a privilege it was to be on that particular trip.  I would remind them that they were representing their church, and that the name was on the side of the van.  I would encourage them to remember that they were representing Jesus, and that their actions reflected on our Savior.  And finally, I would share with them the knowledge that their behavior would determine whether future groups would ever get to enjoy the hotel, campground, restaurant or conference center that they were currently enjoying.  I am a firm believer that expecting teenagers to do the right thing is a far better deterrent than giving them a list of things you think they will do wrong.
3)  Music - If you are taking a van, make sure you have a system in place for controlling the music the driver has to listen to.  In the old days, the co-pilot (usually another adult) controlled the radio.  Once cassette players and then CD players became a factor, I always had a rule that anyone could pass up music to be played, but they were limited to 3 songs.  This meant if they passed up something awful (like, for instance, rap!) we knew it would be over fairly quickly.  Now, with I-pods, I think it is important to schedule some "group music" time, letting kids pass up their MP3 players and using the 3 song rule.  Every trip needs a soundtrack.  In any case, make sure you bring plenty of music you like so you can educate them in the good stuff.  And always- ALWAYS! - begin a trip with Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.  Don't ask why.  Just do it!

Sometimes culture is overrated...

4)  Cultural Experiences - In my experience, many of the students I worked with over the years were traveling with me to places they would have never gotten to visit without our ministry.  It is important to remember that fact, and to make sure the kids get a cultural education while there.  Eat at local restaurants, not fast food chains.  Visit parts of the city where they will encounter the poor and homeless and feel a little threatened.  Take time to see the sights they have read about and studied but never been to.  Minister to the whole person, and the things you teach them about faith will seem much more relevant and real.
5)  Outside the Lines - This is a bit controversial, and is one you can only do if you have already built great relationships with the students you serve- but it is soooo worth it!  Take your group and intentionally do something you previously told them not to do.  Break a rule!  For instance, at the beach we always said don't go in the ocean after dark.  Take them all swimming at midnight.  In New York we would sometimes hike to Times Square at 2 AM, or turn left coming out of the Milford Plaza (a real no-no!) just so they could see some real NYC night life.  Extend curfew on the last night of a retreat and order pizza.  Don't be reckless, but show them you know how to get a little crazy.  And make sure everyone is invited to join in.  These types of things will change the way they see you and provide your group with stories they will never forget.

They don't seem to be suffering too much at
the seafood buffet!

6)  Do Something Just For You  - Not a big deal on a weekend trip, but if you're going to be gone for a while you need to schedule something just for you.  When we would go to Myrtle Beach, for example, I would always plan a group meal at one of the all-you-can-eat Calabash style seafood buffets.  I didn't care if the youth liked seafood or not.  That was my reward for sleeping in a house with 45 teenagers for a week.  If your spouse travels with you, plan a time for just the two of you to get away, and maybe take a carriage ride through Central Park.  Youth trips should be all about the students for the most part, but doing something for yourself helps preserve your sanity- and that's good for your youth too!
7)  Be Relentless/The Trust Factor  - A mom from one of my groups, who took several trips with us a chaperon, once wrote that she was amazed at the trust I gave my students.  She was also amazed at the way they responded to being trusted and loved.  That was very cool to hear.  She then went on to write about the other part of the story, which is that "with Carl, there is no unplanned moment.  The opportunities for mischief are few and far between."  Both of these things are true.  I trusted them unless one of them they showed me they didn't deserve it, and I always kept them busy.  Even during free times I kept them focused on The Next Big Thing.  The one catch to this theory is that you have to match their energy and enthusiasm, because you have to model what you want them to do.  

Melbourne Beach, 1996.  Every group photo
captures a unique moment in our lives.  

So why do I think these suggestions are worth sharing?  Because in 28 years of youth ministry, I cannot think of a single trip I look back on and wish we had not taken. I never sent a student home from a trip- and only 1 time did I even think about it.  We never went anyplace that didn't invite us to return.  In fact, my groups were allowed to rent the fabulous Betsy B for years after the realty company quit renting it to youth groups.  The Milford Plaza Hotel in NYC once went 10 years without ever raising our room rates.  We were loved everywhere we went.  And perhaps most importantly, we always found a way to get done whatever it was we went to do, and to do it in the name of Jesus.  Did we have issues and misadventures?  Absolutely!  But so does life.  Trips can be the lifeblood of the youth group experience.  I hope these tips will help your next trip be as sensational as the hundreds I was blessed to enjoy.

Because of Jesus,

Live To Tell 1996

These survivors LIVED TO TELL!

Creativity is such an important part of student ministry.  As a youth worker you are constantly striving to come up with ideas that have a WOW factor.  You want to keep students a bit off-guard, wondering what you might come up with next.  You are always seeking new ideas, or at least ideas that are new to your group.  Not to sound too much like the Rev. Jesse Jackson, but tameness, sameness and lameness are enemies of a successful youth program.  Finding ways to keep students engaged is an ongoing struggle.  You find yourself always pushing the limits of what is acceptable and what is possible, all because they have to show up before you can share Jesus with them.  And every now and then, you cross the line between the creative and the insane!

On August 2nd, 1996, the student ministry of the First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee went flying over that line.  As part of our summer ministries, we decided to do a Mystery Trip.  Students could sign-up, pay their $35 and have absolutely no idea where they were going.  We would only give parents the information when they arrived at the church on the day of the adventure.  There was a tremendous amount of excitement generated by this new event, and about 25 of us (see group photo at top) prepared to share in the mystery.  The only people who knew where we were going were Jerry Hanbery (my intern) and myself.  We had decided to take the group to Myrtle Beach, SC.  Many of the students had never been, and we were planning a major trip there in the summer of 1997.  A weekend in MB seemed like a wonderful idea for an adventure.  And it was- eventually.

We were planning to leave the church at 7 PM on Friday, August 2nd, but there was an immediate snag in our plans.  We had to wait for someone to finish their participation in a fashion show at the local mall, so we wound up sitting in the mall parking lot until around 8 PM.  During this wait, Kendall Crotty began to pass the word around that we were going to Myrtle Beach.  His mom had ratted us out!  Before we ever began our Mystery Trip, the mystery was solved.  That was the first bummer.  The second bummer was that I had been to MB a hundred times in my life, but never from Kissimmee, FL.  It's a long way.  A very long way.  About 9 hours.  I'll let you do the math, but suffice it to say that we arrived at the Days Inn in MB in the very early hours of Saturday morning.  The last few hours of the van ride were brutal;  I later heard rumors of people (Connor Lewis?) just laying down on the seats, regardless of the fact the seats already had people sitting in them.  I was just trying to stay awake so I could drive.  We arrived, checked in, and went to bed.  It was noon before we were up and about and enjoying the sun and surf.

We had a great weekend.  We played together, ate together, visited the Myrtle Beach Pavilion together and worshiped together.  We spent 18 hours in vans to spend 30 hours at the beach when we lived in Florida; that was the insane part.  But we had wanted a memorable event, one that the kids would talk about for years to come- and we got one!  We had titled the weekend Live To Tell after the Geoff Moore and the Distance song for two reasons.  One, our theme for worship was that our lives should tell the people we meet that we were followers of Jesus.  Secondly, we wanted them to know that this weekend was about survival; that they had lived, and should spread the word that strange and wonderful things were happening in the youth ministry of FUMC-K.  On both counts the weekend was an amazing success.  It is safe to say that in those years Jerry and I were often wrong, but we were seldom boring...

We did another Mystery Trip a couple of years later that was not as insane and was much more dramatic- but that's a story for another day.  Have a blessed weekend, everyone!

Because of Jesus,

The Ash Tray Kid

The city of New Orleans is getting lots of attention this week as they prepare to host the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers in Super Bowl XXXVII.  I have been to New Orleans once, in 1979, and found it to be a very interesting city.  It was the first major stop on the cross-country road trip I took with my old friends Carl Semmler and Alan Brown, and like pretty much everything about that trip my memories of the Big Easy are, to say the least, unusual.  Today I'd like to share a few of those magical moments with you...

We took a tour of the Superdome, home to many great sporting events before and since, and were impressed by the enormous size of the place. They were cleaning up from a home improvement show of some sort, and as we walked to the top of the building the tractor-trailers on the floor looked liked ants.  We tried to imagine what it would be like to watch a football game from that height, and decided that TV was a MUCH better option. Walking to the top row was scary. The stairs were so steep, and we were out of breath by the time we got there. Years later, when Hurricane Katrina devastated the city and building, I could not get that image out of my mind.

We also decided that we wanted to pay a visit to the New Orleans Jazz Museum.  Being 19-21 year olds, we were ill-prepared to do sight-seeing, but we found a map at the motel we stayed at and set out on an adventure. The museum was on Rampart Street. I have forgotten many details of that trip, but I will never forget that street name.  We found Rampart Street and began searching for the address listed for the museum. We drove the full length of the street, and then back again.  We searched every street number and turned around and searched again.  This went on for a very long time- and we NEVER found that stinking jazz museum.  This would be the first of many tourist misadventures during May, 1979.  Remind me to tell you the story of the Grand Canyon, malted milk balls and warm root beer someday...

But my favorite story from New Orleans has always been the tale of The Ash Tray Kid.  We were there in early May, but the weather was very summer-like.  The temps were in the high 80s during the day, and the humidity was just awful.  On our last night we were turning in early, preparing for the long drive to San Antonio the following day.  As part of a rotating system, Alan and I were sharing a bed and Carl had one to himself.  The air conditioning was set on cool as we tried to fight the smothering humidity and heat. Carl's bed was closest to the AC unit, which was a bad mistake.  At some point during the night, he got cold and tried to turn off the AC.  It was dark, and so (as he would confess to us the next morning) he just started pushing buttons until he felt warm air.  Alan and I awoke in pools of our own sweat trying to discern what had happened to us.  It seems that Carl had turned on the low heat and opened up the event to let in the 1000% humidity!  As we sorted out the disaster, Carl refused to wake, comfy as he was wrapped in his blanket.  So after a few attempts using conventional methods, Alan grabbed the glass ash tray on the table between the beds- and threw it at him!  This woke him up and made him mad- but not nearly as mad as we were for him trying to kill us with heat! We eventually laughed about it all, and we tried to saddle Carl with the nickname The Ash Tray Kid. Sadly, it never caught on...

We did other things while in New Orleans, including a strange and embarrassing night spent wandering the French Quarter.  It was the start to a very memorable trip. I would have loved to have stayed and found that jazz museum, but we were on a schedule. We needed to get to Texas so we could set up out tent in some poison ivy. But that's a story for another day...  

Happy Super Bowl Week!