Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Reviewing the #NarrowRoad

I have had several people ask me what inspired my #NarrowRoad series, now in it's 9th month of appearing here every Tuesday. The very first post, from January 6 of this year, explains my thought process pretty well, so I share it again today.


While in NC last week I saw a couple of church signs- well actually one sign and one billboard- that caught my attention. The sign said, Follow the narrow road in 2015. Tell people you love Jesus. The billboard said, Make your resolution in 2015 be that you go to church, for the path is narrow. And I have to admit I thought to myself, "That is not a narrow path. Telling people you love Jesus is easy. Going to church is easy. I could drive a tank down that path." So what exactly is the narrow path that Jesus spoke of in Matthew 7? And more importantly, what makes it so difficult to find and to navigate?  For the next few Tuesdays my blog posts are going to center around the #NarrowRoad. Here's my first thought on what makes following Jesus such a challenge.

We don't love like Jesus taught us to love, and often it is because we don't WANT to love like Jesus. We enjoy having people- or sometimes entire groups of people- that we don't treat with respect or love. In many cases we actually prefer dwelling on our differences than remembering we share a Creator who loves us all so much he sent his Son to die for us so that we might live and love. Jesus said we should love our neighbors. Why is it that we, just like the Pharisees of old, immediately seek to define who that is? We would like for our neighbors to be people we understand, people who are like us. Jesus squashes that thinking by telling the story of the Good Samaritan and illustrating that if we are going to follow him, EVERYONE is our neighbor! Loving everyone, even people we don't like or would prefer to despise, is taking the #NarrowRoad. Check the daily headlines and tell me how Christ-followers are doing with navigating that path...

If you are only looking for the road that leads to Heaven you are missing out on so much. In John 10:10 Jesus says he came to bring us life in the here and now as well. The narrow road isn't straight, it is winding. It is full of adventure. It is covered in love. And it is not an easy path to tread. But it is soooo worth the effort. Join me each Tuesday as we seek to explore the road and where it can lead us in 2015. And remember that the journey starts with love!

Because of Jesus,

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Beach Playlist

After another late, laughter filled night at Ocean Isle Beach with some of my favorite people in the world I find myself up early this morning gazing out at the ocean and listening to music. What has popped up so far on this Beach Playlist? I'm so glad you asked...
1. When I See You Smile - John Waite
2. Keep Me In Your Heart - Warren Zevon
3. Don't Expect Me To Be Your Friend - Lobo
4. Only With You - The Beach Boys
5. She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
6. Everything I Own - Bread
7. Stealaway - Poco
8. Missing You - Dan Fogelberg
9. The One I Love - R.E.M.
10. Homegrown Honey - Darius Rucker

That's what is playing in my world this morning. Have a blessed Saturday, my friends.


"Enjoy every sandwich"

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Even Better Than Before: Calabash

Captain John's Deluxe Seafood Platter 
This morning, as Marilyn and I are driving to Ocean Isle, NC, I ask for continued prayers for our friend Lisa, whom we will miss tremendously while we are away! We're headed to a reunion with some of my very best and oldest friends. In the book I wrote earlier this year, Even Better Than Before, many of these friends were "parts" of the various characters (as was Lisa), and a reunion was the main plot of the story. So it seems appropriate to share another excerpt today. Especially this one, as I hope to see this meal play out in some form or fashion over the next few days. Enjoy!

It was just before 6 pm and the crowd was gathering on the first floor and preparing to leave for Calabash. Craig was hurrying people along. He was worried with a party their size that getting a table together was going to be tough on a Saturday night. And getting a table together was imperative. This was a family and they needed to sit together. Craig was a big believer in family. He was going to call ahead and at least let a restaurant know they were coming. “Captain John’s ok with everyone?” he shouted over the crowd noise, acting as if they had a choice in the matter. It was always Captain John’s. “I’m gonna’ call now.” Alicia grabbed Craig by the arm. “Relax. I already let them know we are coming. I told them a party of 20 just so we’d have extra room. And I told them to put tables together for us.” Craig gave her a big hug and a warm smile. “I tell ya what- get you away from the old ball and chain and you’re still a go-getter, Alicia Stanton.” Alicia lit up at hearing him use her maiden name. It took her back to when life seemed simpler. Craig started herding his friends out the door and into the vehicles, and 30 or so minutes later they arrived at Calabash and began to file in to one of their favorite places, Captain John’s Seafood House. Brent was positively ecstatic. There was a deluxe seafood platter and a basket of hushpuppies inside with his name all over them. Alicia went to the seating hostess and informed her that the party of 20 had arrived, and was told their table was waiting. The hostess walked them to a back room, opened a closed door, and there was the table. And something else that absolutely no one besides Alicia could have expected.

Standing to the right of the table, looking spiffy in a green sleeveless top and white shorts, was Kristen Hurley Fleener. Kristen had been a part of the original youth group that had given birth to this motley crew. It was Kristen that invited Keri and Alicia to come with her to church. She was the one who attracted Brent to a roller skating party because he had a crush on her. Throughout middle school and high school she was a part of the core. She and Craig had dated. She, Allyson, Keri and Alicia had been inseparable. Then she broke up with Craig, pulled away from everyone, went to college and got married at the end of her freshman year. Few of them had seen her since. But now…there she was. Stunned was too mild a word to describe the reaction. Flabbergasted might come close. “Surprise” she said meekly and smiled at the dumbfounded group. It was really more of a question than an exclamation. Alicia stepped forward and gave her a hug, then turned to explain her presence. “I had been begging Kristen to come this weekend for months and she kept saying no. Then last week I really poured on the guilt, telling her that everyone was coming and that she needed to be here too. I called her again as I drove down yesterday she finally caved. She couldn’t get to the house in time so we worked this out. I thought this weekend could use a little more mystery!” Everyone laughed and the greetings and introductions began in earnest. Soon they had all grabbed seats at the giant table and were getting serious about ordering food. Keri and Cassandra set across from one another, and Billy and Brent quickly joined them. Food and beverages were ordered and hushpuppies were delivered. As he popped a butter-covered puppy in his mouth, Brent cut lose with a nearly orgasmic moan, followed by “man that is good!” Those around him laughed, and Cassandra called for a hand check to make sure it was the hushpuppies that had him so excited. Both he and Keri blushed. The other end of the table was quieter and a bit tense. People were asking Kristen basic questions about life because quite frankly none of them knew much about her anymore. Craig looked very uncomfortable. Nancy seemed uncertain of what to say. And Allyson was not happy at all. Her last conversation with Kristen had been a shouting match almost 25 years previous, and she did not appear ready to kiss and make up. Fortunately, the presence of food solves many problems, and as the waitresses delivered the various platters of seafood the conversation all around the table died down. Brent, however, just kept right on chattering. He was giving a play-by-play to everyone as to what was on his deluxe platter and how wonderful it was. He was harassing Craig for only getting a large platter, saying “real men eat deviled crab” and calling him a wuss. He was trying to get Keri, who had ordered a small fried shrimp platter, to try one of everything on his plate. He was especially pushing the oysters, which he pointed out were well known aphrodisiacs. Keri gave him a sharp elbow in the ribcage and Cassie reminded him that it was raw oysters that supposedly had that effect on the hormones. Billy arose from his seat, banged his fork on the table to get everyone’s attention, and then asked “Did anyone order raw oysters? If so please pass them down. We need them---STAT!” There was uproarious laughter which got even louder when Sharon responded, “Billy we all know you’ve never needed any assistance with getting horny!” Meanwhile, Alicia, Dan and Stephanie were attempting to explain to Kristen who these people were. She barely knew Billy and Jeff and many of the others she had never met at all. And while Nina had come into the weekend knowing almost no one and had felt accepted and included right away, Kristen was feeling a bit of a cold wind. To the core of this group she had not just been their friend, she had been part of their family. That church youth group all those years before had been the single most important thing in their lives, and they would have done (and did!) pretty much anything for each other. That feeling of unconditional love had continued on into adulthood for most of them. But Kristen had left them. Once she met Brad, she was gone. Allyson, whom she had known since they were in diapers, was cut out of her wedding party. Brent and Keri never got invitations to the wedding…but Brent went anyway. She had made it clear through her actions and lack of communication that she no longer needed them in her life and over the years they had all accepted that. Now she was in Calabash, sitting at the “family” table. It was hard to pretend nothing had happened, that they had not been hurt and disappointed that someone so important in their lives had simply bailed on them. Brent looked down at the end of the table where Kristen was sitting and smiled. Had he not had a crush on her all those years before he might be the one not sitting at that table. He looked at Craig and thought that if Kristen hadn’t dumped his best bro he might never have moved on to Nancy. Things happen for a reason, and sometimes people have to get away from their comfort zone in order to discover who they really are. Brent himself had been this family’s prodigal son for a time and had been welcomed back with open arms. Didn’t Kristen deserve the same? As he finished his last bite of flounder he reached over and squeezed Keri’s knee. “What do you think, Grace? Should we go welcome home the prodigal daughter?” Keri gave him a look that said both “yes” and “I love you” and they got up and strolled to the other end of the room. Kristen watched them approach and said, “Hey Brent, hello Keri. How are you guys?” Brent reached down and grabbed her hand, pulled her out of her chair and said “Shut up and give me a hug!” That warm embrace was followed by a similar one with Keri, and you could feel the air around Kristen start to warm a bit. Stephanie asked her about Brad and her family and she lit up as she began to answer. She had found what she was looking for when she left them. Not everyone needs a group to sustain them.  ~ Carl Jones

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Be the Miracle


For the past 8 months I have written every Tuesday about traveling the #NarrowRoad with Jesus. One of the things that has jumped out at us over and over again is that we all need help on the journey. Jesus taught us to love one another, to take care of one another and to reach out to those in need. And today I come to you with a very special opportunity to do those things in a very concrete way...

Yesterday's post was all about WHY I love my best friend Lisa Jewett. Now I want you to love her too- with the love of God whose name is Jesus! Many of you know that Lisa is battling ovarian cancer. It has only been about 12 days since she was diagnosed, and the things that have transpired since have been completely overwhelming. Surgery was scheduled and then postponed when a second CAT scan showed additional spots in her lymph nodes. She began chemotherapy this past Thursday. There will be 2 more sessions of chemo (3 weeks apart each) and then the surgery with a 6-8 week recovery period, to be followed by 3 more chemo sessions. That is the plan as it stands now. I was in the room with Lisa during chemo, and I sat and held her hand much of the day both Friday and Saturday. I was with her again last night. I am a witness to the fact that this is very hard on my friend. She is going through a painful and draining process which may make it impossible for her to return to her work as a 1st grade teacher this year- a profession she has loved for 22 years now. The doctors and her family and friends all believe that Lisa is going to beat this cancer. Our favorite number right now is 80, because her oncologist says this treatment is 80% effective on her type of cancer. But it is going to be a long road to travel.

Lisa has a a great support team in place. Her two adult sons are local and are stepping up in big ways, and the love of her 4 grandchildren is a huge boost to her spirits. Her teacher friends are reaching out to do anything they can. Her sister from Tallahassee is helping in a variety of ways and was here over the weekend. And the rest of her family is on the job as well. They are not actually blood relatives, but simply people who have adopted Lisa and who will do anything for her. My family is on that list- and the list is long and filled with people who love her. She will never be alone on her journey.

We know that healing her body is a two part process. The medical professionals will use their skills and technology to help defeat the disease. And we pray every day that God has a miracle in store for her. We covet your prayers as well. But our role does not stop there. YOUR role does not stop there. When we love, when we care and when we GIVE we can not only see God's miracles happen, we can BE a miracle too. You know that teachers are horribly underpaid, and even with insurance Lisa will have enormous medial expenses. It is entirely possible that she will miss an entire year of work. She has more than enough things to worry about and stress over. We can help keep money from being an additional burden. The teachers at Baycrest Elementary School have established a Go Fund Me account for Lisa with a goal of $8000 (My big honkin' prayer is that we double that amount!). It is a way for all of us who have the means to share in her burden by making donations to ease her financial fears. By giving, you will be doing so much more than just making a contribution; you will be part of a miracle. When we all give and when we all love we can all BE the miracle. Lisa needs miracles right now. She needs us. Sometimes the pain and tragedy in our world feels overwhelming, and we do nothing because we feel helpless. We may not be able to change the world, but we can change the world for ONE person. We can make a difference!!!

So click this link -----> Donations for Lisa! Do it now. Whether you can give $5 or $5000, every cent will help Lisa push forward in her battle with this insidious disease. And then in a few weeks or whenever you are able, DO IT AGAIN! We are God's Plan A for making a difference in this world- and there is no Plan B. Join me. Be the miracle. And please share this post with your friends in the name of Jesus. There is work to be done as we walk the #NarrowRoad...

Monday, September 7, 2015

Hall of Fame: Lisa Jewett

My very favorite pic of Lisa and I- from NYC in 2003.
Technically, my dear friend Lisa Jewett is already in my Youth Group Hall of Fame. She was inducted along with a few others back in 2011 in a post called A Very Special Wing, but it had become very clear to me that Lisa needed her own post. I've written a lot about Lisa lately, and I will continue to do so in the weeks to come. Many of you are aware that she is battling cancer. Today's post is not about that battle, it is about how Lisa came to be so special to my family and why she is in my personal Hall of Fame as well. Tomorrow I will tell you more about her courageous struggle with that horrible disease and give you a concrete way to help her. But today is all about why I LOVE Lisa!!!

In October of 2001 we relocated to Tampa from Hinsdale, IL and I began my ministry with the youth and families of Wesley Memorial UMC. One of the high school guys in the youth group was Ken Jewett, and he was a very active part of the ministry. To be honest, I don't remember exactly when I met his mother, because Ken was not exactly a fan of having Mom around in his adolescent days- like many other guys before him. But at some point Lisa came to be part of my circle of acquaintances at Wesley. Our friendship didn't begin to blossom in full until she was one of the adult leaders on our 2003 trip to New York, the first one we took from Tampa. She was very helpful, very sweet and a whole lot of fun to be around, and the group was blessed by her presence. The week after Christmas that same year she went with us on a ski trip and our friendship continued to grow. One of the other adults on that trip nearly drove us all insane, and Lisa was the key to my mental survival. That trip alone earned her Hall of Fame status!!!


Lisa became an important part of our Youth Ministry Team as her younger son Scott aged into the student ministry. Our friendship grew, despite a stupid mistake I made in early 2005. We were going back to NYC and Lisa wanted to go again- and I wanted her to go. But that trip had an age restriction and Scott was not old enough, so Lisa decided not to go without him. At the same time, another mom and her daughter had planned to go and discovered it wouldn't work out if they didn't take little brother along. So I made an exception to the age limit without considering how unfair that was to Lisa and Scott. To her credit, she forgave me. Sort of. She still reminds me that I owe her a trip to New York most every week, and occasionally several times a day! And we will get there again someday.

Lisa is a first grade teacher by profession, and my son Will attended her school. While she was not his teacher, she helped involve Will in some special activities, including his work as Clifford the Big Red Dog at family reading nights. When I moved to Waycross in 2006 and left Marilyn and Will in Tampa while he finished 5th grade, Lisa became his second mom, often taking him home with her after school until Marilyn could pick him up after work. To this day Will (and his girlfriend Michelle) consider Lisa to be family. She was there for their recent graduation from St. Pete College and for the big family dinner that followed. Plus, Lisa just loves to harass them!


At Tony's Town Square
Many of you who are friends with my wife on Facebook know Lisa best as Marilyn's Disney Buddy. You may have seen pictures or read stories of their adventures at Star Wars Weekends, dinner at Tony's or the Beauty and the Beast Castle and their "Flower Power" concerts at EPCOT with The Guess Who and Herman's Hermits. Lisa loves her some Clap For the Wolfman and I'm Henry the VIII, I Am! They have shared many great moments at WDW over the past year or so and look forward to so many more. That's just one more way Lisa is part of our family.

But this post is mostly about what Lisa Jewett means to me. When I left Wesley in June of 2005, Lisa began to take the lead in the youth ministry while they looked to fill the youth pastor position. My last event was a Youth Week, and I have such fond memories of being at Downtown Disney and enjoying DisneyQuest with her and the kids. During that summer she often stopped by our apartment and we talked about life, struggles, joys and pretty much everything else. I officiated a wedding ceremony for Ken, and it was such a joy to share that with her. She was planning a Night of Joy trip for the youth, and I helped her do it. Our friendship moved to new levels and stayed there until my aforementioned move to Georgia. We drifted, as distance often causes friends to do. Then my life fell apart, and I assumed she would be so disappointed in me that we would never be close again. I never contacted her after we moved back to Tampa, avoiding her the same way I did everyone in those 2 years. But sometime in 2010 we ran into her eating dinner at Tijuana Flats, and she greeted me with grace- and a hug. We quickly made plans to have lunch, and she listened to my story and assured me that we were still friends. She will never know how much that lunch changed my life. Taco Tuesdaze at Flats became an every week event. Since that time she has joined us for so many meals and so many special occasions. Scott and his girlfriend have joined us for meals, as have all of her grandchildren. We have attended church together. We watch Super Bowls together. We spent a Christmas Eve together as family. When we needed help, she walked Conner. She has often been my transportation as we dealt with having one car. We have laughed together, cried together and shared life together. She has been family to us all and the very definition of a FRIEND.


Ohana means Family
But as I told her just the other day, FRIEND is not a big enough word. I serve as her defacto personal assistant, reminding of her of things she needs to do and helping her shop on occasion. She calls me when she can't decide what to eat; I call her because it always makes me smile. When she speaks in code because she can't remember a name or a story, I always know what she means and translate for others. I speak "Lisa." There is nothing in my life more entertaining than explaining sports to her. She keeps me up-to-date on TV shows I don't care about by live texting me while she is watching classics like The Bachelor or Dancing With the Stars - and we laugh hysterically! We text constantly as we watch things like Zoo and Under the Dome from our respective homes. We talk several times each day. I have taken Happy Meals to her school so she can have lunch; she has bought me milk shakes when we need to have serious conversations about life. And more times than I can count when I was down she helped lift me up through her sweet words and her amazing smile. There is nothing better than a Lisa hug when I am feeling blue.

I could go on with story after story, but here's the bottom line- Lisa is a huge part of our family, and for the past several years she has been my best friend. Period. And now she is hurting. It is my hope that this post helps you see why she means so much to me and my family. And I pray that you will come back tomorrow so I can tell you how you can get involved in helping her family through this terrible time. But we will get through it. We have faith. We have each other. Dear Lisa, as the great philosopher Jon Bon Jovi once sang, "Take my hand and we'll make it I swear!" I owe you dinner in Calabash, some Painter's Ice Cream and a round of miniature golf in the Myrtle Beach area. Plus that trip to NYC. Those are promises I intend to keep. I love you Lisa, and so does my family. As for the rest of you, let's meet back here tomorrow. It's time for each of us to Be the Miracle...

Because of Jesus,

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Abide in Jesus

Sometimes those of us who profess to be Christians need to be reminded that we are human beings, not human doings. The Christian life is not about what we can do on our own, but allowing Jesus Christ to bear his fruit through us. In John 15:5, Jesus tells us that if we will abide in him then he will abide in us. We must nurture the Holy Spirit within us through love, worship and obedience. This is what it means to abide. Lately my life has seemed full of crisis and worry. More than ever, I need to abide.

Unfortunately, taking the time to abide in Jesus is somewhat of a lost spiritual discipline. Much like silence, it is so intimate and so foreign to us that we do not pursue these amazing moments with our Savior. To help us along that path, today I'd like to suggest 10 ideas to help us focus on knowing Jesus, loving Jesus, experiencing Jesus and being linked to Jesus. Remember, John 10:10 teaches that Jesus came to bring us not just life, but abundant life. Let's seek it together. Let's try one of these each day for a while and see if we feel a stronger connection with the Christ.

  1. Listen to 3 of your favorite worship songs (consecutively) with your eyes closed, picturing Jesus in the room with you. Sing to him. Worship him.
  2. Fast for a meal or a full day and focus the time you gain on love, obedience and worship.
  3. Apply John 15:12 to your life by asking Jesus to show you who needs your unconditional love today.
  4. Make a list of the Top 10 Reasons You Love God.
  5. Do an Alphabet Worship Time. Write down a prayer of praise, thanks or intercession for each letter of the alphabet.
  6. Read the 5th chapter of the Gospel of John, highlighting any verses that speak to you about love, worship and obedience.
  7. Set aside time for a silent prayer vigil- at least 30 minutes. Be still. Know God.
  8. At 10:27 (AM or PM) prayerfully read aloud Luke 10:27 to be reminded of the love of God.
  9. Memorize The Beatitudes, found in Matthew 5:3-11. They are the condensed version of everything Jesus taught.
  10. Take time to focus on the love of God by writing a letter or e-mail to someone who needs to know that you love them unconditionally because Jesus loves you that way.
Fall into the arms of a Savior who loves you more than you can imagine and who will carry you when you need him. Spend time with him. Abide in him.

Because of Jesus,