Happy Birthday, Krispy Kreme!

Today is the 79th birthday of the Krispy Kreme doughnut. This is an auspicious occasion in my life. Even at my advanced age, it's hard to remember a time when Krispy Kreme was not a part of my life (they were in NC before they were much of anywhere else), including some fairly momentous occasions. Witness the following examples:

• We sold them by the dozen as a fundraiser for my Cub Scout pack when I was around 10 years old. Yes, I was that young once...
• In college there would often be midnight runs for hot doughnuts. Sometimes I delivered them to friends and sometimes we all piled into tiny cars and went together. One of those nights was the first time I ever met my future wife Marilyn.
• Stopping by the local 24 hour KK was a regular part of my youth group's Rec Around the Clock event for many years in many places. I particularly remember a large group standing outside the one in High Point, NC and watching the hot doughnuts roll off the conveyor belt at 5 am as we ate them by the box full.
• I once served hot glazed doughnuts and OJ as communion on a youth group beach retreat we took from Springfield Friends Meeting. There's a lot in that statement to process, since Quakers don't traditionally practice communion at all...
• I have eaten hot glazed doughnuts for LUNCH with a friend- and I am not ashamed to admit it!
• Before the KK opened in Kissimmee, FL I would sometimes drive to Orlando on Tuesday mornings so we could have fresh doughnuts for our Breakfast Club. It made me a hero to those youth brave enough to get up early for the meeting!
• I have purchased hundreds of dozens of hot doughnuts from the KK in North Myrtle Beach, SC over they years and delivered then to the Betsy B, often risking my life to get them in the house before people started ripping boxes from my arms!

There are few things in life that conjure up as many fond memories for me as Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I have eaten more than my share of chocolate cream filled and chocolate

glazed, of blueberry and of jelly filled. But there is nothing like seeing this sign, snarfing down fresh manna from heaven and licking that glorious icing off my fingers. Even now, as a diabetic, there are times when they are just totally worth the cheat. There's only one problem with today's big birthday deal, featured in the ad at the top of this post. If I got a dozen hot glazed right this minute and had them here all by myself, I would eat every stinkin' one of them! And be very, VERY happy! So go get some doughnuts today. Make your own memories. And tell them Carl sent you!

Flashback Friday: Spanish Wells, 1997

Our 1997 Spanish Wells Mission Team

Jennifer did not appreciate the snacks, apparently! 

Lately I have found myself daydreaming about a nearly 20 year old mission trip we took from Kissimmeee, FL to the Bahamian island of Spanish Wells. It is a place that is indeed worthy of daydreams- and worthy of a Flashback Friday post! That 1997 Mission Trip (July 21-27) was special, and here are 7 things I remember about that amazing week...

1)  The previous summer another church had brought their youth group to S.W. to do VBS (Vacation Bible School) for all four churches on the island, just like we had done in 1995 and were ready to do again.  The church that came in-between our trips brought way too many youth, which put a serious strain on the hospitality of the locals. Rev. Bill Higgs, pastor of Spanish Wells Methodist Church, asked me to limit our group to 15 or 16 people. Since we had abut 50 kids who wanted to be part of a trip to the Bahamas, we made our students fill out applications and do interviews before we selected the team. It made for some tough decisions, but we ended up with a mature, talented and dedicated group (that's us all dressed up at the top) that understood our mission was to serve.

Jerry and I in...action?

2)  To leave as many spots as possible for our youth, the only adults who went that week were Jerry Hanbery and myself.  And we did absolutely nothing! The youth were divided into teams working on various areas of VBS such as crafts, music, recreation and Bible study. The preparation all had to be done before the trip, because we had to take everything we needed. There is no Wal-Mart (or much of anything else) in Spanish Wells. They did the preparation, they did the setting up, and they did the teaching. Jerry and I simply set back and basked in the glory...

3)  In addition to the Craft Nazis (Lisa Kraus and Sara Thacker) running roughshod over small children, forcing them to do crafts while Erin Bay, Caron Cook and Kristin Landry cowered in fear!) I particularly remember the guys doing music. Jacob Luper was on piano, Jamie Parker on ukulele and Jay Lynes and Ben Thompson were leading singing. Having that sanctuary full of children every morning and watching them have so much fun praising Jesus was a blast. Plus Jacob would break into Les Miz music during breaks!

One of our many boat rides between islands!

4)  The hospitality of the people of Spanish Wells was overwhelming.  We stayed in their homes, where we were treated as visiting royalty. I know we certainly ate like kings! Fresh conch, fresh lobster, fresh mango...well, you get the picture. They took us out on their boats and took us to hidden beaches for picnics and some fabulous swimming.  The folks that Jerry and I were staying with took us (along with Teresa and Jennifer Minnigan) by boat to Harbour Island, home of the famous "pink sand." We ate lunch there and I had the most amazing grouper sandwich in history! I always felt a little guilty that we were the only ones who got to go- but not that guilty! It sure made for a very special day and some great memories! There were special events planned for us almost every afternoon after VBS, including some cliff jumping and a unique battle featuring Ben and Jamie throwing jellyfish at each other. We ate a great meal at one of the two restaurants on the island. The only downside to the friendliness of the locals was that some of their guys were getting a little too attached to some of our girls. This was a serious issue because on the island the girls already outnumbered the guy by a 3-1 ratio. New females who might steal the young men were not encouraged to do so. But somehow we escaped without marrying off any of our folks...

5)  One of the families of the church had a little boy named Ferris who had a serious medical condition. The entire church family showered love on Ferris, and we joined right in. On every occasion that week when the church family was together (and that was often) the number one question coming from our group was, "Where's Ferris?" We all fell in love with that little boy.

Jill Souther was in every picture...  :)

6)  It was quite warm in the Bahamas in July (surprise!) and special recognition should go to Catie Cook, Jill Souther, Matthew Teoli (all pictured at right) and everyone else who pitched in with the recreation area. It was entirely outdoors, and was at times just a miserable place to be.  

7)  Do you want to know how strong the connections were we made that week? After we returned, we had one of our SHO-Time dinners at the local Cracker Barrel in Kissimmee. Many of the folks who gathered that night had been on the trip. At the time Cracker Barrel served drinks in replicas of old Mason jars. When the waitress brought our beverages, Jill Souther and Erin Bay looked at their glasses, then suddenly sobbed, "Ohhhhh...Mason jars. There was a boy named Mason in Spanish Wells..."  As is often the case in mission work, the people of Spanish Wells had a greater impact on us than we did on them.

My 6 years at FUMC-K provided me with more great memories than I could ever list, but this trip to the Bahamas ranks right at the top. Did I mention that there was lobster in the coleslaw?  And fresh mango and "Johnny Cakes" every morning for breakfast?Serving Jesus through serving the people of Spanish Wells was one of the great privileges I ever had in youth ministry. If you have memories of that trip, please feel free to share them. Marilyn and I are having lunch today in downtown Tampa with Jennifer Minnigan Kuramochi. Sure do wish you all could join us...

Because of Jesus,

One Insane Day in Youth Ministry

Happy Throwback Thursday! I have mentioned on many occasions that youth ministry often causes you to push the limits of sanity in order to increase excitement and attract students.Over the years many of those days have occurred during the summer, especially during Youth Week.  Today we remember one very wild and wacky day.

Tuesday, July 8th, 1997 was a part of Youth Week '97 at FUMC-Kissimmee which featured the theme It's Good To Be Alive!  At the end of this particular day, I might have questioned that! We began the day by meeting at FUMC-K at 9 AM and heading over to Disney's Yacht Club Resort and the character breakfast at the Cape May Cafe (see group picture above). The all you-could-eat buffet featured every breakfast food you could imagine, including Mickey Mouse waffles. One of my favorite parts of the meal was that I could get orange juice, coffee and chocolate milk all at the same meal without paying extra. Plus, you got to eat with Pluto, Goofy, Chip, Dale and Donald. It was a great start to the day...but it was only the beginning!

We returned to the church around 11:30 AM, where many of the youth just hung out until 1 PM and the next phase of our journey. Others joined us, and we headed to The Florida Mall for another of our famous Mall Scavenger Hunts, including the search for The Pink Panther (for an explanation, click here!). After a long afternoon of invading every store in the mall in search of the answers to trivia questions, we returned to the church around 5 PM and the students went home...for a while. In the meantime, summer intern Jerry Hanbery and myself had more work to do to be ready for the final event of the day.

We had rented a huge, World War II era searchlight to use as part of the grand finale. After the kids went home for supper, we hauled this gigantic light out into a large pasture on the outskirts of Kissimmee and prepared for the big finish. When the crowd returned at 8 PM, we divided them into vehicles and gave them one task-find the giant searchlight. As darkness fell, the light was turned on, and you could see it for miles around. Determining where it was coming from was a bit more difficult. Our original plan had been to have worship at the site of the searchlight, but it was brutally hot and there was thunder and lightning, so as groups found the site they were sent back to the church. Some groups were able to find it fairly quickly; for others, it took a while. Once everyone made it back to home base, we had snacks and settled in for a time of worship. We finished around 10:30 PM and sent everyone home. It was an amazing day. Well over 100 students participated between the three events. The Spotlight Search was another of those weird things we did that had the whole community talking, and had our youth saying once again, "I can't believe we just did that!"  And the day ended with dozens of students praising Jesus. It just doesn't get any better than that!

I don't know that any of these events, taken on their own, were particularly memorable to the youth who attended, but days like this were very important to the ministry.  They were days that Jerry and I looked forward to every summer. The great Tony Campolo once wrote a book entitled The Kingdom of God Is A Party. I hope we communicated that feeling in our ministry, and in those wild, wacky days.

Because of Jesus,

I'll Have What He's Having..."

One of the great stories told about the late Rich Mullins in the book An Arrow Pointing to Heaven concerns his time in the pubs of Ireland. Rich loved Ireland, and loved to spend his evenings mixing and mingling with the people at their local watering holes. Irish pubs are famous for their vitality and hospitality, but there was one odd thing about Rich enjoying them so much. He was a teetotaler- Rich did not drink alcohol at all! But still he would be in the pubs, telling stories and laughing with the people. And almost every night, according to author James Smith, Rich would be honored with the ultimate pub salute- patrons yelling out, pointing to him and saying, "I'll have a pint of what he's having!" They could see that Rich was overflowing- with the love of Jesus.

Over the years my youth groups were often accused of being the "life of the party." We were always very visible; we were often very loud. There was never any doubt that when we were together, we were having fun. Other youth groups were often jealous of the joy and freedom we shared. People we didn't know often weren't sure what to make of us- we never seemed "pious" enough to be a church group to them. We seldom had rules and regulations; we had a shared respect born from a love for one another. This often freaked parents out, but it made our ministry special and different. And people saw this difference in us. Every motel and every restaurant we ever booked invited us back and commented on how much they enjoyed having us- even the ones that were scared to death of teenagers! It's not that we were angels; I made bazillions of mistakes and we did not always represent Christ as we should have. When we did fail, we would address the mistakes, forgive each other, and move on. The band Stellar Kart once described grace with the words "There will always be a second chance and you will always be on your first try."  We tried to live out that kind of love. We were far from perfect, and we were sometimes obnoxious. It's just that we were Jesus Freaks, full of life, love and joy. We knew how to SHINE (Make 'em wonder what you've got, make them wish that they were not on the outside looking bored.  SHINE, let it shine before all men, let 'em see your works and then let them glorify the LORD- Newsboys)!

There are so many people who have a view of the church as boring and joyless. It is my prayer that from New Garden to Springfield, on to Kissimmee and Chicago, Tampa and Waycross, that people who encountered my groups in restaurants, malls and everywhere else found themselves wondering where our joy came from. The answer, of course, is Jesus. I hope that after they encountered me, surrounded by teenagers and singing Lean On Me in line at Disney World that people young and old looked at each other, smiled, and said, "I'll have a glass of what they're having!" - and that through our actions and silliness Jesus was glorified!

One last thought- if you think that following Jesus is boring, I suggest you try reading your New Testament one more time...

Because of Jesus,

Flashback Friday: The Sawshack Redemption

Today's Flashback Friday tale is a rarely told story from my 18 months spent as the Director of Student Ministries at the Union Church of Hinsdale, Illinois.  

Greg and Chris were members of the Work Tour 2000 team, but they were not your typical Union Church of Hinsdale youth. They did not come from great wealth like many of the students did.  Both of them actually seemed more at home in Dungannon, VA than they did in Hinsdale. They both had a bit of redneck in them. They were also two of the students who had surprised me so much with the smoking and the swearing on the trip east (see You Have Got To Be Kidding Me). So it came as no surprise to me when they volunteered to work on in the falling down utility shack that was out behind the mobile home we were working on. They would be doing two major tasks out there- sawing lumber for other projects and cleaning out the shed itself. The building itself quickly became known as The Sawshack (Pictured: not the actual Sawshack, but a smaller version that looks quite a bit like it!). It would be the site of a lot of hard work- and more than a few adventures.

In the early part of the week much of the team became very frustrated with the Sawshack crew. It seemed you could never find them when you needed them, and it was taking way too long to get sawing jobs done. They seemed to be playing with the junk in the shack more than they were cleaning things out. David (the primary adult leader on this trip- I had only been in town for one month) had words with the two boys but nothing seemed to motivate them. Then one afternoon (I think Tuesday) while we were working on the "great wall" (see I Got It...I Don't Got It...Bzzzzzz) in the trailer, I heard a loud crashing noise, some screaming and some hysterical laughter. I went running into the living room to find one of the windows smashed to pieces. No one was hurt (praise God!) but there was glass everywhere. I looked through the broken window into the back yard, and there stood the boys. None of us could believe what we were seeing. They had found an old skeet launcher (as used in skeet shooting) in the shack. And some skeet. Curious to see if it still worked, they had dragged it out in the yard, loaded a skeet, and pulled. It worked- and now a window was missing. And they thought it was hilarious.

I was livid. A family of 5 was living in that trailer, which now had air conditioning that it did not need. While others started cleaning up the mess and preparing to go shopping for a window, I took the boys out to the shack where we had a "come to Jesus" meeting. It was explained to them that the money for the window would come out of their pockets. I impressed upon them the fact that everyone else was trying so hard to be of service to this family, while they seemed intent on making things worse. They were told that from that point on I wanted them anchored to the saw; there would be no more smoking breaks (I was certain they had been sneaking off to light up- and I was right) and no more goofing off. It was time for them to step up and be part of this team. Most students who have ever been a part of any of my groups will tell you that I don't get angry often, but when I do, it is ugly. This was one of those times. They met Hulk Jones very early into our time together...and they didn't like me when I was angry!

For the rest of that trip, Chris & Greg were hard workers, great team members and model citizens. The Sawshack became a place where work was done quickly and accurately. Their work ethic and and attitudes changed so much that it became known as The Sawshack Redemption. The grace that was shown them by the family and the rest of our team made a huge difference, not only on that trip but in their participation in youth activities after we returned to Hinsdale. Over time, the indoor skeet shooting became legendary and something we could laugh about. Grace does that- it turns our worst actions into things we can live with, because we understand God loves us anyway.

Tomorrow I'm going to share another except from Even Better Than Before. I hope you all have a blessed and grace-filled weekend!

Because of Jesus,

Throwback Thursday: Floridays 1990

Today's Throwback Thursday takes us all the way back to our 2nd trip from Springfield Friends Meeting to Walt Disney World- Floridays 1990! I wish there were more pictures to share, but we took slides for our post-trip slide show, and those slides were lost in one of my moves. Still, here are 7 things that stick out in my mind from that adventure:

1)  We had many great "performances" while at Disney. We saw Heather Beggs and Mike Mercadante dancing in front of the "Chinese Theater" that houses The Great Movie Ride. There was J.J. Carter delivering his line to David Letterman- "Hey Dave, why don't you ever do anything educational?"- at Superstar TV. But the performance of the week had to belong to Kelly Allen (pictured, on left) and her ongoing portrayal of Lucretia Soul Disney Murphy Johnson, who could never figure out "who da hat be wif" and who was constantly on the lookout for Tyrone Mouse- "cause he's a liar!" Best supporting actor awards go to Wendy Mattocks and Jennifer Woods, also pictured.

2)  Russell Farlow ran out of money on about the second day and was constantly trying to borrow from his friends. At the awards ceremony following the trip he was awarded the Brother, Can You Spare A Dime Award.

3)  Jon Moran (pictured, along with Bryan Dowling) celebrated a birthday while we were in Orlando, and we did a birthday meal at the Olive Garden. I remember it was fun and that we had a great time, but I it seems like we were there forever. There were 60 of us, and they just couldn't seem to get our food out, our drinks filled or our checks out so we could leave. Jon may have aged a year while we partied...

4)  One night, after a very long day at the parks, we arrived back at the Gold Key Inn only to find that we had lost Dana Oxendine. We were searching and getting a bit frantic when someone discovered her asleep in the back of the Suburban that Butch Moran was driving. Given that Butch had been accused of falling asleep at the wheel on occasion, it was a miracle she could sleep that soundly!

Stinky also reads the blog!

5)  I have been on a lot of youth trips in my life, and on most of them there is one room that develops a smell that is, as my friend Alan Brown used to say, "taint"-  as in, "that jus' taint natural!" The award for worst smelling room ever (mostly from very natural causes!) goes to Jamie Robinson, Danny McCorquodale, Ken Hill, Jeremy Godwin and (part-time) Todd Farlow. They blamed it all on Jeremy's stuffed animal Stinky (who still takes trips with Jeremy on occasion!). Danny took most of the credit for himself...

6)  On the afternoon we spent by the motel pool, Tim Harding (our trip pastor), Robin Thomas and I wandered across the street (Well, sprinted!  You don't wander across the Orange Blossom Trail and live to talk about it!) to an A&W Root Beer store. Those were without question the best root beer floats in history! They made them with Breyers vanilla ice cream and put them in frosted beer mugs. We had more than one that week I can promise you!

7)  The New Mickey Mouse Club was popular in 1990, and the show had produced a spin-off band called The Party. One of the guys was named Chase Hampton. He was spotted at the Magic Kingdom one day by some of our girls- Jennifer Simmons, Emily Beggs, Elizabeth Tillman and others- and was then pursued until they caught him and got his autograph on their hats. The restraining order took effect the next day...  

So there you have it- a few classic memories from Floridays 1990! There are more stories on this blog from that trip, and you can find them by searching the label below this post. Have a great Thursday and thanks for sharing in this trip down memory lane!

Because of Jesus,

Throwback Thursday: The Magical Mystery Tour

Butch & Sundance

You may have already read the story of our first FUMC-Kissimmee Mystery Weekend (see Live To Tell), a ridiculously crazy 1996 trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. In 1998 my fabulous summer intern Jerry Hanbery and I (see picture) decided to do it again. This time we would replace the wackiness of 18 hours in a van with a more creative approach. This time it would be a middle school only adventure, and our theme would be "Crazy Times." And this time, Jerry and I had a serious plan...

We loaded up the vans at 7 PM on Friday, July 31st and hit the road. Thankfully on this trip there were no leaks from the parents; no one on the two vans had any idea where we were going. We headed north on the Florida Turnpike, and the kids were buzzing about where they thought we might be headed. We then turned north on I-75, headed towards Ocala. I was driving the always-iffy blue van, and we had the lead. The blue van's issues played an important part in our plan. About 4 miles south of Ocala, I "noticed" that the van seemed to be running hot. We pulled off to the side of the road and Jerry followed me, getting out of the white van to come assist me as I checked under the hood. We had taped a baggie of water under the hood, and when I poured it on the engine (out of sight of the youth) steam erupted as if something was terribly wrong. Jerry and I did some serious moaning and complaining about the "stupid blue van" and then returned to our vans, telling the students that the van was over-heating and that we were going to go ahead and stop for the night so we could try and get it fixed. We stopped at several motels and I went in to see if they had any rooms (I had a great time telling the front desk clerks what we were doing so the youth could see me having conversations with them), only to return and tell the group there was no vacancy. The youth were now getting a little nervous. We finally found rooms at a Super 8 Motel (where, unknown to the youth, we had reservations!) and settled in for the night. I held a meeting and informed the kids that I was going to try to get the van fixed, but that I did not know what the following day would hold. We might just have to stay in Ocala. I drove off to "get the van fixed" (I sat in the local McDonald's and pretended!) while they enjoyed the pool. I was not back when Jerry sent them to bed. They went to bed grumpy. It was perfect...

The following morning we woke everyone up early and told them to get ready, the van was fixed and we were leaving! We hurried them, half-asleep, onto the vans and hit the road. We were hoping that they would be too groggy to notice that we were now heading south on I-75. And for a while, they were. Slowly but surely, they begin to notice something had changed. We stopped at a Burger King for breakfast, and the questions began in earnest. We got back on the road, and finally some of the youth began to guess our final destination- Busch Gardens in Tampa. And then- as if a fog was lifting- they began to realize that the entire "breakdown" the night before had all been planned. We had fooled them completely, and they could not believe it- and a few were not real happy about it. Jerry and I were giddy- we thought it was one of the best things we had ever done! We went on to have a great day at the park, and a wonderful weekend, including a great time of worship on Sunday morning. We wanted to make it memorable, and we had. It was just one more time when a wild and crazy idea helped some students discover the presence of Jesus in their lives.

I found out a few years later that there were a couple of students on that trip who NEVER got the message that the entire first night had been staged. This came out when one of them asked me, "Where were we going to go on that Mid-High Mystery Trip before the van broke down?"  And the Oscar goes to Jerry Hanbery and Carl Jones...  Have a blessed Thursday, everyone!

Because of Jesus,

Flashback Friday: Restaurants & Youth Ministry

Happy Flashback Friday! Over the years my youth groups visited many fine restaurants- and a whole bunch of not so fine ones as well! Each time you take a group of teenagers into a restaurant, you can see the fear on the faces of the employees and patrons. They expect mayhem, wildness and no tips. We always tried to surprise them and make our time there as much fun for them as it was for us. Today I take a look back at 12 places that were favorites of various groups for a variety of reasons. All of them share one thing in common; we were always invited back. I had the best students anyone could ever ask for! So here are 12 great memories:

12)  The Jade Dragon-  Located only a block from Union Church in Hinsdale, IL, this great little Chinese place was a regular stop for meetings, lunches with students and SHO-Time. We had a great meal there one night with the gang from Spooky Tuesday and had my farewell dinner there as well.

11)  Sonic Drive-In-  In both Tampa and Waycross we used a Sonic for a summer program called Happy Hour. I would go sit at the tables outside and spend several hours greeting students, playing cards and drinking Cherry Limeaids. It was always a great time of relationship building, and I miss those very hot summer days!

10)  Captain John's Seafood-  I picked this fine Calabash restaurant (a favorite since my own youth group days) to represent all of the seafood restaurants we visited in the Myrtle Beach area over the years, including the all-you-can-eat places (pictured) we favored in the later years. Special memories include Lisa Kraus destroying an entire army of crab legs and the night I discovered half of the Springfield group didn't like seafood.  Not included in this list is White's Point (inside joke for my oldest buddies!).

  9)  The Roadhouse Grill/Rio Bravo-  These two Kissimmee restaurants were favorite SHO-Time spots, and we ate at both on many occasions. We loved the queso at Rio and the bread and throwing peanut shells on the floor at Roadhouse, and both places knew us well. Later on a Roadhouse in Clearwater became a favorite of the Wesley Memorial group. None of those three restaurants are still in business. I blame myself...

  8)  Dick's Wings-  This wonderful wing house became the home of our 5th Quarter "after football" events in Waycross, which drew big crowds of students on Friday nights. You had to beware of Dick's Special Sauce- it was lethal!

  7)  The Beaches & Cream Soda Shoppe-  Located at Disney's Yacht and Beach Club Resort, this place serves great hamburgers and hot dogs- but no one cares! They have some of the most amazing ice cream creations anywhere, and we visited often, as tourists from Springfield and as locals from Kissimmee and Tampa. This was the home of the Kitchen Sink, and the much-missed Disney Dash Ice Cream Bash event. 

  6)  The Fireworks Factory-  Another out-of-business restaurant and the second in a trilogy of Disney eateries, we only had two meals there with youth groups. The first already received its own post, and you can read it by clicking here. The second was the night Marilyn and I informed everyone on the Springfield Alumni Trip in December of 1994 that she was pregnant. A very special place.

  5)  The Cape May Cafe-  On long trips or just going over for the morning, there was no place quite like Cape May when it came to breakfast.  Both the Springfield and FUMC-K groups got to experience the wonder of this all-you-can-eat buffet that never ceases to amaze.  Plus you get to share the meal with Chip, Dale, Goofy and other Disney stars!  Located in Disney's Beach Club Resort, this one is still open for business!

  4)  Lee Gardens-  Located near Wesley Memorial in Tampa, this Chinese buffet was host to us on so many occasions, and they never failed to show us a great time. To this day when I walk in with just Marilyn they are stunned, and ask "Only 2?" Best egg drop soup ever!

  

3)  Carmine's-  This Manhattan establishment has the feel of something straight out of The Godfather. It is a great place under any circumstance; to go there with a large group simply defies description (especially when I got to order everything in advance!). The service, the sheer amount of food, and the desserts are all amazing. We didn't find this place until Jill Painter's Aunt Gerry took us there in the late '90's; we didn't ever miss a chance to go there after that!

  

2)  Kyotos-  Many of my former students will be stunned to see this come in at #2.  After all, no place spanned as many years of my ministry as did this Japanese steakhouse. While at Springfield, we discovered one in Greensboro, NC, and began to plan regular group events there. It became tradition for me to take youth there to celebrate their 16th birthdays. When we moved to Kissimmee, we discovered one in Longwood (just north of Orlando; see picture) and began regular pilgrimages, often with huge groups of teens. Later, we discovered one in Myrtle Beach and ate there with both the Wesley Memorial and FUMC-K groups. So many stories, so many memories and so much food! Also have to give a quick shout out to Kado Japanese in Tampa, which also hosted many a memorable meal!

  1)  Pizza Inn-  Although we ate at Kyotos many times over many years, for shear quantity nothing came close to Pizza Inn in High Point, NC. It has so much meaning to so many people who were a part of the Springfield Friends Meeting youth ministry (see The Ministry of Pizza Inn), partly because at least a portion of us ate there every week- at least once a week!  No other restaurant ever had as much impact on my ministry, and we had a pretty major impact on them as well. Congrats, Pizza Inn- you are still #1!!!

So there it is- I would love to hear your thoughts on oversights and omissions from this list. And thanks to so many of you for making theses memories so wonderful! 

Because of Jesus,

In Student Ministry, the Small Things Matter

I'm spending today with Lisa Jewett as she takes her first chemo treatment. Prayers are appreciated.

It is hard to believe that for 28 years hundreds of students chose to share their lives with the insane man shown dancing at a 60's Revival Night at TNT (Springfield Friends Meeting) in the early 1990's. But they did. Over the years of my ministry there were many big events and earth-shaking moments that I have written about in the pages of this blog. Today I want to take a look back at 10 moments that were perhaps a little more "under the radar," but that were significant to me. They made me laugh, cry or scream- or sometimes all three! In no particular order, here they are:

10)  Now Batting for Jesus-  For many years, beginning in the 1970's at New Garden Friends Meeting, I had been involved with youth groups leading Easter Sunrise services.  In 1995 we continued that tradition when the youth group led the service down by the lakefront in Kissimmee. We had a skit planned in which Matt Wheeler was to play Jesus. It was one of those years when daylight savings time began on Easter Sunday, and Matt didn't wake up in time. We had to "pinch hit" for Jesus at the last moment...and I am pretty sure we struck out!!!
9)  Cursing for Christmas-  One year around 1980 the youth group from New Garden went Christmas caroling. With us was a young woman named Pam, who attended a different school than any of the rest of kids and often felt a bit excluded. Pam had a gorgeous singing voice, and so trying to help her "fit in" I asked her to lead the singing. Pam had new retainer in her mouth that she was still adjusting to wearing, and it gave some words a slight slur. When we sang the holiday classic Silver Bells things got a little dicey. It sounded to all the world like she was singing, "It's Christmas time in the shi**y" instead of "in the city." We all had a great laugh, including Pam, and it was her welcome to the youth group moment. She went on to become one of that group's real leaders. Another case of an OOPS leading to something good.
8)  "Wuv...Twue Wuv"-  I cannot express how much it meant to me when Nate Hill and Amber Herrick came to me and asked me to officiate their weddings, years after I had been their youth pastor. It was two different weddings- they didn't marry each other...that would have just been weird!  :)  I also was blessed to do the service for Ken Jewett, and then in later years for Kathryn Martin and Jennifer Gastler. Such an honor.
7)  I Hear That A Lot-  A young woman came into my office at the Union Church of Hinsdale in 2000, crying and distraught. She was 16, had just wrecked her car for the third time, and daddy was refusing to buy her a THIRD new Porsche. I didn't need Toto to tell me I wasn't in Kansas anymore...
6)  SURPRISE!-  At the request of their parents, I helped put together surprise 16th birthday parties for best friends Heather Beggs and Keri Vinson in the youth room at Springfield Friends Meeting. The parties were just months apart and involved a lot of the same people, yet somehow they were both surprises. I loved being involved in the lives of the students I served. I will never forget that Heather's birthday is August 25th. She only gave us 18 months of weekly notices leading up to her 16th!
5)  Wet 'N' Wild-  Another Easter Sunrise in Kissimmee, another daylight savings time fiasco. The city forgot to reset the timers on the automatic sprinklers by the lakefront gazebo, and they came on during our service.  A mass baptism was held that day...
4)  Hide, It's the Cops!-  One more Easter Sunrise story, this one from Tampa. For reasons I never understood (for once the OOPS was not mine!), we decided to have the youth Praise Band play at an outdoor service in front of the church at 7 AM. It was great for passing traffic to see; it was not so great for the sleeping neighbors to hear. The police stopped by to inform of us of the complaints. We lived next door to the church, and I think one of the calls was from Marilyn...
3)  More Weddings-  I was privileged to sing in a number of weddings over the years, including those of former youth and co-workers. To Ken & Gilly, Holly & Mark, Matt & Kristin, Mike & Rebecca, Debbie & Tommy, Beth & Bob, Claudia and all the others- thank you for letting me be a part of your special day. And for those whose weddings I was able to attend, thank you for the invitations.  It was always a "lump in my throat" kind of feeling to see friends beginning a new chapter of life.
2)  We Found A Friend-  While I was visiting Kissimmee from Chicago the week after attending Lisa Kraus's wedding, Amber Herrick called me about she and Chrissy Weaver coming by my motel to see me. I asked if my other "Angel," Lauren Carr, might also be coming. Amber said there had been a falling out (one of hundreds!) between them and they hadn't spoken in a while. When they stopped by a bit later, Lauren was with them.  It was so cool that they had reconnected over my visit. We then walked across the highway to Friendly's and had an amazing visit, with a conversation I will never forget. No matter how hard I try...   :)
1)  Every Single Time-  Each time one of my students, parents or co-workers came into my office to talk to me about life, it was a sacred moment for me. There are many stories to tell, but I will not tell them, because they were often deeply personal and intense. They were sometimes scary. Many times they were hilarious (Once in Tampa both the male and the female in a high school relationship came to me separately. They both wanted to break up.  Neither knew how to do it without "hurting" the other.  I could not make this stuff up!). But no matter the topic or the reason for the visit, each time anyone trusted me enough to come to me with their joys and concerns, I felt humbled and honored. And no matter how many big trips and huge events I was a part of, it was those moments that are closest to my soul as a servant of God. I just hope my prayers were of more use than the little bits of wisdom I had. And I am so glad that many still know that I am here if you need me. As the Stellar Kart song says, "remember you've got me and Jesus..."  And thank God it's mostly Jesus!

Because of Jesus,

7 Things: A Youth Ministry Evaluation Quiz

Much of my adult life was spent working in student ministry. I was employed by a church to work with teenagers when I was still a teen myself, and for the next 28 years that was my life. I loved it. But having said that I should also point out that success in youth ministry can be very difficult to judge. Youth Pastors are always seeking out some new way to measure their effectiveness and help make sure they are on the right path. Today I want to help. Here are 7 questions that may be a little different from the standard "How am I doing?" checklist. In fact, you may have never considered some of these questions to be an indication of anything positive. I am quite certain these are questions you will never be asked by your church board or HR committee. I simply invite you to answer them honestly for you and your ministry, and then think about the implications of your answers. It may change the way you see success. Here we go...

1. When was the last time you had an all-out debate about a hot topic that is impacting the church today?  Not a program that informed students what they should believe, but a chance for them to talk about what they DO believe! Not a controlled, reasonable discussion, but a flat-out debate, with no holds barred?Remember, if you tell a teenager often enough that "we don't talk about that here" then pretty soon they won't talk about anything. And we want them to develop their own faith, not just be able to mimic ours. I can promise you if you do this, I already know your answer to #2...
2. How long has it been since a parent complained about what you are teaching?  Obviously, there are standard things we should be teaching to our youth. But far too often parents (and church leaders) want us to sanitize the Gospels. Following Jesus is messy. It often goes against what the world teaches. If we really teach that Jesus is the way, then we will occasionally be saying that parents are wrong.  Oops. Consider the importance of money and material possessions, for instance...
3. When was the last time you tried something that failed?  Whether a program, a trip, a mission project or a lesson, teenagers thrive on being challenged! If everything you do is safe and comfortable, with no risk of failure, then you are missing a chance to meet them where they are in a profound way.  Use your God-given creativity. Believe all those hats and t-shirts that say, Fear Not! Step out in faith. Do something wild and woolly! And if you fail, simply get up and try again. Jesus will always be with you!
4. Does your church have a rule in place because of you?  This was one of the late Mike Yaconelli's favorite questions for youth pastors. Have you been so creative that the church trustees have met just to figure out how to stop you? Have you tested the limits of the church buildings, the church grounds and the church vans? Not because you have been thoughtless or reckless, and not because you lack respect- but because you know and love teenagers and keep discovering new ways to keep them involved. In my case, one of my favorites was the banning of playing Kick the Can in the church cemetery. Seriously.
5. When was the last time you made your students uncomfortable?  We all want our youth ministries to be a safe haven for students in so many ways. But we also need to remember that following Jesus will ALWAYS take us outside of our comfort zones. We need to do ministry in neighborhoods that may not feel safe. We need to talk about subjects that our youth would just as soon ignore. And we need to take mission trips to places where our youth will encounter "the least of these." If your kids have not been uncomfortable lately, they are missing out.
6. Do your youth know that you are real?  Your students do not need to know if you are having marriage problems or have a secret addiction. They do not need to know if you dislike your pastor or really can't stand the new worship leader. But they do need to know that you have frustrations and problems. They need to know that you are a real person. Part of youth ministry is being a model of Christian living for the students you serve, and a real model has flaws. You and I are not perfect. Students need to know that. Be honest when you mess up a program or hurt someones feelings. Be real about frustrations. How can we teach about the amazing grace of God if we spend our lives pretending we don't need it because we have out acts together? It's time to get real.
7. How much ministry time are you spending outside of your office?  How many students who don't attend your church have you met recently?  I have written entire posts about this subject, but it remains a key question. If you are not out meeting students where they are and building relationships with youth throughout your community, then your ministry is missing a key element.  If meetings and paperwork have you trapped behind a desk, change something. Doug Fields once moved his office to a Taco Bell for after-school hours so he could be available to students and away from the "busy work" of the office setting. What do you need to do to make meeting students on their turf a priority?

So there you have it- a list almost guaranteed to get you in trouble with the local Pharisees! It is also a list that will help you seek out new ways to bring the teenagers you serve into a deeper relationship with Jesus. I have one more suggestion that is sure cause a little commotion. Share these questions with the Youth Ministry Committee, your church staff or anyone else you feel is appropriate. Seek their input and guidance. Maybe...just maybe...such discussions can lead to a little more organized chaos in your church. I will say it again- following Jesus is messy. Has your ministry become a little too "sanitized for your protection?" Finally, the ridiculous picture at the top makes a little sense...  Blessings to you as you serve in the name of the risen Savior!

Because of Jesus,

TBT: The 1994 Mid-High Mission Trip

This post (slightly edited) was first shared back in 2010, and over the years it has been seen by exactly 9 people. For this Throwback Thursday I'm hoping we can do a little bit better...

One of the things we knew we wanted to do in the summer of 1994 (my first in Kissimmee) was to put together some sort of mission opportunity for the middle school youth of the First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee. There had been one for high school students for years, but we wanted to let the middle school kids know that they were important too. Having arrived there in April, it was too late in the season to plan any major trip, so I focused on what we might could do in Orlando. I discovered the Second Harvest Food Bank, and found that they had lots of work for a group of teenagers, sorting food and packing boxes for delivery to shelters and soup kitchens. We decided to keep it short to keep the cost low and encourage more students to participate, and so June 26-29 we were off to O-town!

Our small group stayed at a Days Inn on International Drive, down near Wet'N'Wild in southwest Orlando. We were in the middle of a huge tourist area, especially popular with foreign tourists at the time. This was made even more interesting by the fact that the Citrus Bowl, located just down the road from us, was hosting the opening rounds of the 1994 World Cup soccer tournament. Every where we looked we saw fans of Ireland and Mexico. We spent the mornings working at Second Harvest. I remember the big deal about driving from the motel to food bank was going to down the Orange Blossom Trail. I learned why the OBT (where I had stayed with youth groups on two previous Disney trips) had such a shady reputation with the locals. It seemed like we passed a strip club about every 100 yards or so. And every time we passed one, Nate Hill was there to point it out to us, like a tour guide on a bus!  It became a tradition.  We arrived to work at 8 AM each morning. We didn't work all that many hours at Second Harvest, nor was the work all that hard. But it was hot.  Brutally hot. Just imagine being in a warehouse with no AC, in late June in Florida. When we left at noon, we were drained.

We spent the afternoons goofing off an getting to know one another. I learned a great deal about the youth who were along for the journey. We ate lunch one of the days at an all-you-can-eat Pizza Hut buffet, and the late James (Chico) Fry ate all any of us could eat-  I stayed at the restaurant with him for 15 minutes after everyone had walked back to the motel. There were girls fighting over a guy- and two of them (Hello Erin and Jen!) were cousins. We spent one afternoon and evening at Wet'N'Wild and had a great time, including several of the students riding what ever that thing is that Erin Augenblick is riding in the picture at the top. In short, we worked hard, we played hard, and we built community. In my mind it was a very successful little trip, that paved the way for future mid-high adventures. What I don't remember is who else was on that trip, although I am fairly certain Kay Hill was the other adult. I'd love some help remembering, so give me a shout if you were there. Have a great Thursday! 

Because of Jesus,

Flashback Friday: The Ministry of Gumby

Today is another Flashback Friday, and we are headed back to my days (1986-1994) in youth ministry at Springfield Friends Meeting. Those were special years with some incredible people, and in many ways Springfield will always be home to me. What does Gumby have to do with any of this? Read on, my friends...

So today's youth ministry artifact comes with a mystery. You see, as keenly as I remember so many details from 30 years ago, I do not remember at all the exact how or why the Gumby you see pictured here came to be in my possession. It was the late 1980s, during my time at Springfield Friends Meeting,  and I know that it was given to me by Shelley Godwin and Heather Beggs because their initials and a message- "Gumbys live forever!"- are on his tag. I also remember that it was Keri Vinson who first turned his rainbow colored belt into a hippie-style headband. But as far as details, that's all I've got.

So why even bring up Gumby? Because his presence in my offices over the years always served as a reminder of something important. This blog goes on and on concerning the need to be intentional about building relationships with students and how important I believe that to be in student ministry. As our TNT  outreach program took off and we began to reach more and more students from the community, this became a real challenge at SFM. As incredible kids like Shelley and her twin brother Jeremy, Heather and Keri became involved in our ministry, I wanted to make sure we stayed connected and that they knew they were loved individually- not just because we liked having a large group. So I turned to one of my mentors, J. David Stone. He had written a book in 1985 for GROUP Books called Spiritual Growth in Youth Ministry, and one chapter contained a plan for a different type of outreach that would change my ministry forever-  24 Weeks of Caring.

The plan was so simple, yet totally brilliant. You would chose 4 groups of a specified (I eventually settled on 6 after trying 8) number of youth with whom you wanted to build a better relationship- a total of 24 students (using 6 per group- HA!  I did math!).  The program would begin by sending all 24 teenagers a letter informing them that they had been chosen for this special event, and that nothing was required of them. It was just going to happen to them. Each group was given a designated communication category for a specific number of weeks (again I chose 6, so at 24 weeks I could do the program twice in a year.). For the first 6 weeks, I would pray every day for each person in Group 1 and send them a note each week reminding them that I was praying for them and asking for prayer requests. During those same 6 weeks I would give the members of Group 2 a phone call once a week. Group 3 received a weekly personalized post card in which nothing was said about our youth ministry- it was all about them. And Group 4 I received visits once a week- outside of church. Sometimes it was over a milk shake, sometimes at school, sometimes at a community event.  At the end of the first 6 weeks, you simply rotate the groups. When you complete the 24 weeks, you have connected every week with all 24 students in 4 different ways- and your relationship with all of them will be different...

Obviously it could be updated to fit today's high-tech culture, and you could use Facebook, Twitter, texting or e-mail to replace some of "mailing" that I did. The last time few times I did it I used e-mail instead of writing the post cards. No matter, the point remains the same- letting youth know they are important and they are loved- and that NONE of that is based on how many times they show up for church.

So why does Gumby remind me of this? I'm not sure I can explain it. But just maybe it's because that at Springfield we reached so many students whose families were not a part of that church, and because of efforts like the 24 Weeks of Caring they became a huge part of OUR family. I look at Gumby and remember that I have seldom had better relationships (or more fun) with students over the years than I had with Heather, Shelley, Keri, Jeremy and so many other TNT survivors. Some of those relationships remain strong to this day. Gumby reminds me that praying for students is crucial. But he also reminds me that those kinds of relationships don't just happen- they require work. Even now that I am out of the professional ministry, it's still an awesome reminder. In fact, I could start up the program right now using blog readers and Twitter friends. Hmmm.  Interested?  :) 

Because of Jesus,