Throwback Thursday: A Youth Ministry "Oops!"

Let me begin by saying that it seemed like a good idea at the time. Simple, innocent and funny is what we were going for. In retrospect, it was probably doomed to disaster from the very beginning. This story is true, although my memory may be faulty. If you were there, please comment with your additions and corrections!

David Tebbs, the Youth and Christian Education Director of North Carolina Yearly Meeting in the mid 1980's was leaving that position at the end of the 1987 FUM Triennial Sessions. After a rocky start, David was someone I had come to like and respect a great deal. He was a strong Christian and someone who had brought great spiritual depth to the youth programs of NCYM. David was also someone we loved to harass. His shy, conservative demeanor and his appearance reminded us of the great Pat Boone (without the white shoes!), and he embarrassed and blushed quite easily. It seemed to us that we needed to give him a proper farewell at the end of Triennials, and if we could see that famous blush, so much the better!

The "we" in this case consisted of Tom Klaus from Iowa Yearly Meeting and Brent Bill from Western Yearly Meeting- and myself. Both Tom and Brent held the same position as David in their respective Yearly Meetings, and both were published writers who held a level of respect among the Quakers gathered in Greensboro that week. I was just hanging out with them because I had known them for a while and because we had way too much fun when we were together. The three of us brainstormed what we could do to "get" David, and somehow, at someones suggestion, decided to bring a belly dancer into one of the final sessions of the event. My memory is that Tom made the call (and since I know Brent reads this on occasion, I will place the blame on Tom) and ordered the dancer. He explained that this was for a pastor, in front of a couple of hundred young people, and that it was imperative that she be a G-rated belly dancer. It was all set, and we were excited to see just how red David's face could be!

We met the dancer backstage and she looked great- a true belly dancer with all the bells and whistles!  We again confirmed who she was there for and that it needed to be a conservative performance. We sat David in a chair, made some sort of introduction, and brought her out. There were hoots and hollers, and David turned bright pink before she ever started. But then she began to dance- and our jaws dropped. If this dance was G-rated, we DID NOT want to see PG!  She was all over David, and the atmosphere became very tense. From off stage the three amigos began sharing with each other how much we had enjoyed youth ministry and discussing what our next careers might be. It was awful. We looked out at the crowd, which was divided into three camps. The youth were loving it. The adults who had come over for this special occasion were mortified. David's wife was ready to faint. As it all ended, we considered making a break for it before the lynching started, when a small miracle saved us. David's father, Jack, a well respected pastor himself, was standing, laughing and clapping. Others who had been planning our demise also began to smile. Even David's wife was laughing. Our jobs (and lives) were spared!  We were forgiven to the point that Brent came and spoke for the youth of NCYM that August, and I went to Iowa to speak the following summer. But for a few minutes, we thought it was the big OOPS...  As it turned out I had years to go and many smaller "oops" to experience before the big one. And to David Tebbs, wherever you are, I hope someone is reading this to you and making you blush!

Because of Jesus,

Friends With Benefits

The other night on Twitter, in an attempt to be funny, I tweeted the following:

I have a friend who has health insurance. I have a pension plan. Does that make us friends with benefits? #ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmm

Unless you have been hiding under a rock (not that there's anything wrong with that!) for the past decade or so, you know that is not what our society means by Friends with Benefits. There have been movies made, books written (both pro and con) and countless situations on situation comedies featuring the concept. If you don't know what it is, watch the early episode of The Bang Bang Theory in which Penny tries to explain the social construct to Sheldon. Then you'll be really confused! For now I'll just say that the benefit in question in the majority of those cases in sex. But that's not what I want to talk about today. :) I lured you here with the title because I love when people read my blog, and sex sells! What I want to focus on today is not the idea of Friends with Benefits, but instead on a much more important concept- the Benefits of Friendship.

One of the great blessings of any life is true friendship. I was fortunate to discover as early as my junior high years what a true friend looks like. I became part of a group of people who both corporately and individually showed me the keys to being a good friend. And that key was trust. You see, we shared everything. We talked about relationships and sports. We shared dreams and disappointments. We told each other when we thought someone was messing up. We explained dirty jokes to each other when someone didn't "get it." We held each other accountable and laughed in the face of peer pressure. And we talked about God and our faith and our doubts. Most of those people- my first REAL friends- remain my friends to this day. And the group added more and more people as we got older. But I also discovered more friends with whom I could share everything as I moved from church to church, and as former youth morphed from their roles as students to a more important place in my life- friends. There is no greater blessing in life that friends and family. But it's not as easy as it sounds...

There are many people who mistake acquaintances for friends. Facebook has done as much to devalue the word friend as the Apple Store has to devalue the word genius. A true friend is not someone you know or even someone you know about. Being able to tell you when you went on vacation, what you had for lunch and what you are watching on TV at any given moment does not make us friends. It makes us acquaintances. We know each other, but we don't KNOW each other...ya know? Being a true friend means getting your hands dirty and actually spending time sharing life with a person. It means opening you soul to them and being trustworthy enough that they do the same for you. For me, a true friend is less someone I see everyday and more someone I wish with all my heart I could see everyday! They are not the people I long to see only when things in my life are good, but the people I NEED to see when life gets rocky. One of the things that holds my life together in the midst of the storm is knowing there are so many people who have my back. True friends who see my mess and love me anyway. People who will tell me I'm an idiot even as they give me a hug. Go back to the concept of Facebook friends for a moment. How many of those people do you wish were your next door neighbors so you could share life with them everyday? There is nothing wrong with having lots of acquaintances. They add to our lives as well. But aside from knowing Jesus, there are few benefits in life that equal having true friends.

So why this rant today? Because I wanted remind myself- and you- that Michael W. Smith may have been wrong. Friends are not necessarily friends forever. Through faith, we can be brother and sister in Christ forever, sure. But to remain true friends we have to work at it. Friendship that is taken for granted can wither and die. Friendships that are only pulled out of the closet when we have special needs morph back into acquaintances. Friendships that are abused often end very badly and with a devastating certainty. There are few pains worse than losing a good friend,for any reason. But there in no excuse for losing a true friend because one of you just gives up on the other. Keep fighting for the friendships that matter to you. They are the best benefits around.

I have homework for you today. Make a list of the people who are your real friends- the people who you can talk to about anything, who know you inside out and love you anyway. The people your life would not be the same without. The people you wish you could see today. And them reach out to them. TODAY! If you can see see them, see them. If not, give them a call or a text. Tell them this crazy guy you know told you to tell them you are so thankful to have them as friend and that you want all of the benefits that come from your friendship. That ought to get a conversation jump started. Let them know they are treasured. I hope my friends already know that. But today is a day to take nothing for granted. Be well, my friends...and you too, acquaintances. :)

Because of Jesus,

#DangerDays: The Next Step

Logo by Teresa Reep Tysinger

I began this #DangerDays series the first Tuesday in January of this year with the hopes that I could find enough guest writers to continue the series for a full year. While the guest writers who stepped forward have been nothing short of sensational, the well seems to have run dry. So while there may be some random posts to the series in the future, today marks the end of this as a weekly part of my blog. Thanks to everyone who contributed and followed along. Six months is not too shabby...

So what is my own personal "next step" when it comes to moving forward with faith and facing new challenges in my own life? Last weekend a dear friend e-mailed me a copy of a novel she had written as part of of Nanowrimo last November. I have never participated in the program, but the general idea is write a 50,000 word book in one month. Her novel was brilliant, and inspired me to return to a my own fledgling fiction effort I began about a year ago. That quickly turned into stating over again from scratch. In the past 2 days I have poured out over 4000 words, and I am very excited about the process. People have been telling me for years that I needed to write a book. I always assumed it would non-fiction about my life and my days as a youth pastor. But right now, at this particular stage of my life, I feel like I have a story to tell that is not about me. It's about forgiveness, hope, love and one remarkable weekend at the beach for a group of life-weary old friends who re-discover how much they need each other. It is still very much in the beginning stages of a story line, and to paraphrase Elton John, "this book has no title, just words and a tune." But I can't wait to get back to writing again today. 

So how does this new adventure fit into the #DangerDays? First of all, there is the challenge of actually sticking to it and carving out a daily time to write. Organization and perseverance are not among my best qualities. Then there is the fact that while I have done enormous amounts of writing in my life (newsletters, this blog, magazine articles, youth ministry curriculum, etc) I have not written any real fiction since college. Oh sure, I make up stories all the time! But not like this. Not a novel. And that scares me a bit. And finally, there is the risk that no one will ever read it, or if they do read it, not like it. Writing this blog is safe. People seem to like it, and if they don't I never know it. This book could lead to rejection. To deal with those three items I m gong to have to go forward with the faith that God has put this project on my heart for reason. I often remind people that "we are called to be faithful, not successful." Time to put up or shut up, Carl.

I hope you will pray for me as I begin this new chapter in my own journey. I also hope that if you have a story to contribute to the #DangerDays series you will share it with me. Don't think of the series as finished. Think of it as under construction. But I'll be back here tomorrow with another wild and wonderful Wednesday post. Hope to see you then!

Because of Jesus.

Bleeping Jesus (A Re-Post)

Because I felt God leading me to share this again, today's adventure in missing the point is a re-post of one of my earliest posts from 2009. It's an excerpt from John Fischer's brilliant book, Real Christians Don't Dance (Bethany House Publishers, 1988). John is a favorite of mine, having written such great songs as The All Day Song and Have You Seen Jesus My Lord. I have always loved this story, but it has taken on added significance to me as I have grown older and realized far too clearly how often I have "bleeped Jesus." You may feel like you, too, are a ragamuffin who has stumbled more often than not. Don't miss the big finish, as John reminds us that God does loves us despite our bleeps; indeed, he uses us in a world that understands sinners much better than saints. Enjoy, and feel the freedom! (NOTE: For my younger readers, a typewriter was what we used as a keyboard until computers were invented. See, history can be fun!)

I've been trying to ignore this for some time now, but I can't any longer; it just keeps coming up. Every time I type a chapter on this Smith Corona XE 5100 Spell-Right typewriter, I am faced with a dilemma: my typewriter bleeps. I remember George Harrison's lament, "My guitar gently weeps," on the Beatles' famous white album. Well, my typewriter gently bleeps, or more accurately, "sickly" bleeps. It's a very pathetic, injured sound, like a little tone sort of bent over another. It reminds me of an ailing little lamb with half a vocal chord — not that I've ever been around an ailing little lamb with half a vocal chord, but I somehow think if I ever was it would sound like the bleep on my Smith Corona. The bleep comes from a 50,000 word dictionary that has been programmed into the brains of this machine. Whenever I type a word that isn't on the list — "Bleebleep!" — it bleeps at me. This is actually a very useful feature. More often than not, the bleep signals a typing error rather than a spelling mistake. But the spelling of particular words is an issue over which I and the typewriter fight an ongoing controversy. Fifty thousand words is a lot, but not enough to get all the derivations of all the words I use, not to mention some words that have simply been programmed incorrectly or missed altogether. So my typewriter has a bleep I cannot wholly trust, often sending me scurrying to my Webster's to defend myself. Imagine carrying on a running argument with your typewriter over the spelling of certain words.

But the real problem came when I began to suspect my typewriter was not a Christian. I first started to notice it on certain theological words like sanctification, glorification, Christology, and soteriology (which got bleeped twice). Soon I discovered a very interesting thing when I typed the word Christian. It gets by unscathed, but Christians gets bleeped. Apparently my typewriter can handle one Christian at a time, but the idea of two or more of these things at once sends it squealing off like a sick lamb. This I-can-handle-one-but-don't-give-me-two phenomenon also applies to Baptists, Presbyterians, and Fundamentalists. Unfortunately for Methodists, they get bleeped before I can get to the final "t". I'm not even sure I want to mention what happens to Pente(bleep)costal(bleep)s(bleep).

But by far the biggest problem is the fact that my typewriter bleeps Jesus. Now it's true that many other common names get bleeped as well, but it's hard to understand how a typewriter that knows John, Dick, Harry, and Sally would not even know a name as important as Jesus. The final proof came when I found out Buddha got by without a sound! I can't deny it any longer; I'm going to have to face the hard facts: I'm dealing with a pagan typewriter. What shall I do? I'm trying to type out sanctified stuff and I'm getting bleeped all over the place! Well, as you can imagine, I've given this much thought and I've come up with three possible solutions:

1. Smash it. The thought that anything sanctified could ever come through a typewriter that gives Jesus the bleep is unthinkable. This typewriter shouldn't be allowed to live! Even if I sold it, I would be sending another pagan influence out into the world to corrupt someone else's mind. A typewriter that accepts Buddha and bleeps Jesus is certainly going to lend support to an already acceptable secularized world view. (Would you believe I just got bleeped on secularized?)

2. Surely someone out there in Christian World USA, some Christian electronic whiz-kid, has come up with a new mind for this thing. Perhaps I don't have to get rid of the whole typewriter, after all; I can just get it saved, take it to an electronic revival meeting. Someone must have thought of this by now.

3. I suppose I could find a way to use it as it is. I could use it as a reminder that I live in a world that is constantly bleeping Jesus. Every time I type that final s in His name and hear that sick squeal, I could feel the pain and reality of rejection. After all, "He came to his own and his own did not receive Him" (John 1:11).


I think I'm going to keep this typewriter just as it is. After all, God has not smashed me or traded me in for another model. The fact that I can sanctify this typewriter through the truth of the words that pass through it, in spite of its bleeps, reminds me that God can do the same thing through my bleeping life in this bleeping world.  - John Fischer

Psalm 98

Today I share with you my favorite Psalm (although Psalms 23, 51, 100 & 119 are way up there as well). Looking for words to describe what worship should look like, feel like and sound like? Look no further. The Psalmist has already done it for you. Wherever you may be, pause for a minute and shout praise to the LORD...


Psalm 98 (The Message)
Sing to God a brand-new song. He's made a world of wonders!
   He rolled up his sleeves,
   He set things right.

 ² God made history with salvation,
   He showed the world what he could do.

 ³ He remembered to love us, a bonus
   To his dear family, Israel—indefatigable love.
   The whole earth comes to attention.
   Look—God's work of salvation!

 ⁴ Shout your praises to God, everybody!
   Let loose and sing! Strike up the band!

 ⁵ Round up an orchestra to play for God,
   Add on a hundred-voice choir.

 ⁶ Feature trumpets and big trombones,
   Fill the air with praises to King God.

 ⁷ Let the sea and its fish give a round of applause,
   With everything living on earth joining in.

 ⁸ Let ocean breakers call out, "Encore!"
   And mountains harmonize the finale—

 ⁹ A tribute to God when he comes,
   When he comes to set the earth right.
   He'll straighten out the whole world,
   He'll put the world right, and everyone in it.


God is in control, and we need to praise His Holy Name. So strike up the band!  Amen & Amen.


Because of Jesus,

30/30: One Question for God

Today's 30/30 Vision Blog Challenge prompt is a classic- What if you could ask God one question- but only one? What would you ask? What is it that really burns a hole in your soul, that you crave knowledge or wisdom about? There are so many questions I have, so many things I want to know about my life, about history and about the future. There are things I want to know about the true nature of God. Choosing one is a herculean task. But here goes...

Over the last 10 years ago it has become clear to me that the Christian church has made being a Christ-follower way too complicated. We make up our own rules for what it means to be "saved." We put our own issues at the top of the list and claim they would also be the priorities of Jesus. When we can't pull that off, we quote biblical writers, famous authors and well-known preachers who often manage to turn the black and white words of Jesus into something grey and foggy that requires a deep and painfully intellectual theology to understand. And the further the church has sunk into what I consider to be a quagmire of our own making, the more I have pushed back. The more complicated others want to make being a Christ-follower, the more simple it becomes for me. Follow Jesus. Understand that his words and his actions should drive our faith, and that his words and his actions were all about faith, hope, forgiveness and love. He came so that the leper, the tax collector, the prostitute, the betrayer and the rest of the sinners would have a place at his table. And so that we might as well. Theology and debate are fun and wonderful things, but I have come to believe that being a Christian should be all about Jesus. ALL about Jesus! It is my passion and my goal to help those of us in the church simplify our faith with those words so that others may be drawn to the One who saves us. If Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, then why are we so often bogged down in so much other crap?

So with all of that said, I have a pressing question that I already ask God most every day when I pray, and that I would LOVE to get a concrete, holy graffiti, burning bush style voice of God answer to someday soon. And here is it. Am I getting any of this right?  There are times when I wonder if all of the people I think are so confused actually have it right, and I am the one wandering in the wilderness. My prayer is that people might see "the real Jesus" through my words and deeds. It would just be nice to hear  "well done, good and faithful servant" as I carry on with my crusade. So that's my question. Am I getting any of this right? 

But if I was (by some stroke of God's grace) offered a second question, I admit I would go old school- What's the truth about dinosaurs? I gots to know!!! Have a blessed weekend, my friends!

Because of Jesus,

Throwback Thursday: Big Blue Lives!!!

On Monday of this week my family was crashed in front of the TV trying to recover from a busy weekend when Will found a "behind the scenes" special about the making of National Lampoon's Vacation for us to watch. We love that movie and enjoyed the stories the cast and crew were sharing. Of particular interest was how they thought of that horrible pea green car- the Family Truckster- as part of the cast. It was so important to the the telling of the hilarious road trip that makes that movie one you can watch over and over again. It was custom made to be one-of-a-kind, to be ugly, and to be special. And it was.

Those thoughts were still in fresh in my mind Tuesday evening when one of my old Springfield Friends Meeting youth, Michael Mercadante, posted a picture on Facebook and tagged a ton of former students. He had been on the road somewhere in the Archdale/Trinity/High Point area, when he saw this:

Stunned does not begin to describe my reaction! Let me give you a little history. When I arrived at SFM in 1986, they had a small white bus that seated 14. It had no radio, no AC and no power. It was just a basic mode of transportation for a small group, and it was dying. After some (lots) of complaining, using a contact in the used car business and getting some very generous donations for a few key families, we were able to buy a used Dodge Van to replace the bus. After our own Butch Moran lettered it for us and made it official, we felt like the toast of the town cruising around in our fancy new blue van! This was somewhere in the neighborhood of early 1989. And the van was used. So you understand why I was STUNNED to discover it is still on the road some 25 years later. Several Facebook comments from others indicated they see it occasionally in the area. Ryan Simmons ever claimed to be its neighbor. But I had no idea it still existed. 

My second reaction was to feel like I had just rediscovered an old friend- and from the comments it sounded like many of those now 30/40 year old youth felt the same way. I spent the better part of  6 years behind the wheel of that van. I remember trying to clean & deodorize it so that adult classes and senior citizens groups could use it- and I usually drove for them too. It took the youth group on so many adventures, to so many restaurants, movies and concerts. The old beast carried us to serve at the local soup kitchen every week during summers. It helped take groups to Quaker Lake Camp, to Florida (twice) and to Myrtle Beach (at least 4 times) during my years at SFM.It is pictured at left on our infamous 1992 snowy weekend in Myrtle Beach, complete with Butch's original lettering. As mentioned in the comments on Facebook, it often smelled like dirty socks. The back windows barely opened which was often bad for circulation and classic teenage smells, but good for keeping butts from public view. There was nothing fancy about Big Blue. Yet it was, just like the Griswold's truckster, a big part of our story. I remember driving in nearly every Monday night to take kids home after our TNT program. It was part of the community. It was so much more than just a vehicle- it was a tool for ministry!

To be honest, I have no idea how much longer it stayed at SFM after I left in 1994, but long enough that is was re-lettered at some point. The mileage on it must be staggering. The paint has clearly faded. And from what I can tell through the back glass, it appears to be hauling junk now. But trust me when I tell you that old Blue Thunder (as Mike Merc called it on FB) was a key player in a great youth ministry and a wonderful church. So important, in fact, that I am inducting it as the first inanimate object in my Youth Ministry Hall of Fame!  At over 25 years old now, I hope she will soon rest in peace. Or be restored as an antique! Now there's an idea...

Because of Jesus,