Or Maybe It's a Planned Crapshoot?

"Do you ever feel like life is a crap shoot? A roll of the dice? That no matter what, sometimes you are just going to roll snake eyes? Or are you confident that God - or some higher power- has a plan for you, that things will work out?" An old friend of mine asked those questions on Facebook the other day as she was preparing a sermon and it got me to thinking. Is the #NarrowRoad a preordained path, laid out by God for us to discover, or is it all random and fluid? Which do I believe? Or perhaps...just maybe...life is a planned crapshoot! Let's explore!

When I was younger- and perhaps this is still happening and I just don't see them anymore- it was popular in some circles for church folk to hand out these things called tracts. These were tiny little pamphlets filled with spiritual information given with the purpose of helping to redeem lost souls in the name of Jesus. It seems to me that every time I encountered someone passing out these tracts they would give the same greeting. It was always, "God loves you and has a plan for your life." It seemed straightforward and simple enough until I really began to think about it. So much depends on what you mean by PLAN. Reading those little nuggets of spiritual wisdom often led one to believe that PLAN meant that if you surrendered to Jesus then God would take over from there. You'd be on easy street. The #NarrowRoad would be all yours to travel with no bumps, no detours and no wrecks. God's plan would always prevail if you only had enough faith. Pray about every decision and God would give you answer- and a can't miss answer at that. It all sounds so perfect.

But then I take a look a the scriptures and remember that the PLAN of God never works that way for the heroes of the Bible. God had hold of David's heart as a boy and was with him as he killed Goliath, but was it really God's plan for David to commit adultery and send Uriah to his death even while being "a man after God's own heart?" Seems unlikely. The disciples walked around with Jesus for 3 years, hearing him teach and watching him heal, and they would eventually be used by the Messiah to start the church and change the world. But most of the time they had no idea what they were doing the next day, much less what God's PLAN was for the rest of their lives! And do we really think that it was God's PLAN for Paul to suffer so much as he shared the good news with the world? Starting with the very first humans we were given free will and have used that free will to make terrible choices and good ones. If by God's Plan someone means that God will prevent us from doing wrong, will stop us from taking detours and will keep us on the #NarrowRoad, then they are reading a very different Bible than I am.

However...having said all of that, I do believe that God is in control. He will never leave nor forsake us. There are things God wants us to accomplish, directions we are pushed in if we place our faith, hope and trust in Jesus. There was a plan for saving the world, and the plan was sending Jesus. There is a plan for loving the world, and that plan is us. So God has a plan for us. But for too many people the word PLAN implies something organized and orderly. Life is chaotic. Life lived with Jesus might be even more chaotic! We are called to step outside our comfort zones, take risks and be bold. We are not called to an easier life; we are called to an ABUNDANT life (John 10:10)! Our God is a God of love and mercy. The gift of grace, at its very core, means not getting what we deserve. But the flip side is also true. Sometimes we get what we don't deserve. It seems far outside the nature of our God that He would choose who gets cancer; that God would choose who dies in car wrecks; that God would choose whose babies will die at birth or which countries would suffer epidemics. There is a randomness to life, even with God in control, because we very fallible and fragile humans have been given free will. I believe in the power of prayer and that God can and does alter our lives and the lives of others through divine intervention. But not always. Sometimes the answer to our prayers is "no." So bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people, and life on the #NarrowRoad continues to be unpredictable- no matter how much faith we have.

So my final thoughts on the original questions? God is in control, but God is not a puppet master pulling all the strings. We choose our paths, and those paths may be the #NarrowRoad- or they may not be. So I'm sticking with my answer. God has a plan for our lives. And that plan is often a crapshoot. 

Because of Jesus,

Psalm 98

Today I share with you my favorite Psalm (although Psalms 23, 51, 100 & 119 are way up there as well). Looking for words to describe what worship should look like, feel like and sound like? Look no further. The Psalmist has already done it for you. Wherever you may be, pause for a minute and shout praise to the LORD...


Psalm 98 (The Message)
Sing to God a brand-new song. He's made a world of wonders!
   He rolled up his sleeves,
   He set things right.

 ² God made history with salvation,
   He showed the world what he could do.

 ³ He remembered to love us, a bonus
   To his dear family, Israel—indefatigable love.
   The whole earth comes to attention.
   Look—God's work of salvation!

 ⁴ Shout your praises to God, everybody!
   Let loose and sing! Strike up the band!

 ⁵ Round up an orchestra to play for God,
   Add on a hundred-voice choir.

 ⁶ Feature trumpets and big trombones,
   Fill the air with praises to King God.

 ⁷ Let the sea and its fish give a round of applause,
   With everything living on earth joining in.

 ⁸ Let ocean breakers call out, "Encore!"
   And mountains harmonize the finale—

 ⁹ A tribute to God when he comes,
   When he comes to set the earth right.
   He'll straighten out the whole world,
   He'll put the world right, and everyone in it.


God is in control, and we need to praise His Holy Name. So strike up the band!  Amen & Amen.


Because of Jesus,

Prayer Rollercoaster

Praying for a happy and blessed birthday today for my favorite twins, Cyndi Reep Browning and Teresa Reep Tysinger! May your days be full of joy and celebrations. I just wish I could be with you both...

I should begin this post by saying that I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that God hears all prayers and answers all prayers- even if sometimes the answer is wait or no. I pray everyday for the health of my family, and for blessings in our lives and in the lives of our friends and loved ones. I go to God everyday in the name of Jesus and ask Him to intercede in the lives of friends who are lost and hurting, or who have special needs in their lives. I am a pray-er. I believe that prayer changes people, changes lives and changes the one who prays.

But having said all of that, I have a confession to make. There are few things in life as frustrating and confusing to me as trying to determine the hows and whys of when and where God chooses to intercede. I understand that God is in control. I know it is not our place to determine God's plan, but tell me truthfully- doesn't it sometimes seem random to you? Human nature makes me want to have a tried and true method that produces results we can see and understand. Prayer is not always like that. Because of this, it is easy to feel like some days my prayers are changing the world, while other days I feel like quite powerless. It's what I call the Prayer Rollercoaster. 

My history as a youth pastor and my ministry through this blog and on Twitter has put me in a position where I receive many prayer requests. I do my very best to honor each of them, lifting the needs of others to the throne of the Father. The range of these requests is enormous. Lately, for instance, I have prayed for several friends who needed new jobs and another who was seeking a promotion. There is a young man in prison I have been holding in the Light for several months now. I have prayed for a number of marriages and other relationships that are broken or in trouble. I have prayed for a family to be reunited and for friends who are away from home for long periods of times. I have prayed for youth groups that are struggling and old friends that I miss terribly. There have been prayer requests for those having surgery and those suffering from illness. And last night there were requests to pray for those stranded by winter weather. And always there are prayers for my family and for my own forgiveness. I love my prayer time. But as a real person, there comes a time when I must stop and take stock of the answers received. My heart soared to the top of the roller coaster this week when I learned of new jobs offered and accepted, and promotions received. I felt encouraged as marriages seemed to take on new life and broken relationships became less contentious. But those wonderful moments are so often followed by the plunge. A young woman losing her battle with cancer and passing away. A mother losing contact with her children. A long job search continuing with very little hope in sight. A husband and wife deciding to call it quits. A friend who still has not found the hope that comes from knowing Jesus. Just like with a roller coaster, the big drop is scary and often leaves me breathless. The plunge frustrates me to no end. I prayed hard for those folks, as did lots of others- and yet they are still hurting. Why do some prayers seem to bring positive results so quickly and easily, while others seem - I know they don't, but they SEEM- to fall on deaf ears?  

And at least for me, the answer is I don't know. I know scripture commands us to pray. I know that God is God, and I am not. It is not my task to decide which prayers receive what answer, any more than it is my task to pass judgement on the sins of others. I was taught a long time ago that we are called to faithful, not successful. We are called to trust God, and know that He will act. In other words, prayer is not about me, it is about faith in the One who created me and saved me. So I will keep praying. If there is anyway I can pray for you, please let me know. The rollercoaster may be scary sometimes, but it is also a ride that is not to be missed, and a blessing that is meant be shared. And please- pray for me as well!

Because of Jesus,

It's A God Thing

Billy, an unknown friend of his, Steve,
Sis and me- 1978

I began writing this blog in 2009, and in the 4+ years since its beginning there have been many moments when I knew that this entire enterprise was not really my idea. It was God's. That may sound presumptuous of me, but I believe it with all my heart. You have to remember my state of mind in 2009. I was two years removed from a huge failure in my personal life, and I had basically spent those 3 years completely "off the grid."  It seemed so unlikely to me that people could forgive me, much less be interested in rekindling our relationships. And then people began to discover my writing here- and God changed my life. My immediate family had always shown me grace, but now I was experiencing God's love in a whole new way.  I began to tell stories that helped me reconnect with literally hundreds of former students and adults from my days in youth ministry. I began to write about faith, grace and the love of God whose name is Jesus on a regular basis. I saw God using me to once again be in ministry, although in a very different way than I had imagined. I shared my story of how I had disappointed so many and brought shame upon myself and my family, expecting condemnation and instead receiving support and prayer. I developed a whole new family of readers through Twitter, and my new friends have touched me with a grace and love that could only come from God. I have found peace and comfort in the "pages" of this blog because God has blessed me every step of the way.  And just when I thought that nothing that happens here could surprise me...

Late Friday night I received notice that I had a new comment on a post that was several weeks old. Generally, that means it is SPAM. I clicked on the comment and didn't recognize the blog name of the nameless person who left the comment, but I saw a name I recognized., so I read on before deleting.  After a moment, my heart began to race. I knew the author. As I read on, I discovered that someone from my high school days had read one of my earliest posts. Old Friends. and wanted to share it with her old Western Guilford High School friend Sabrina Perry. Even though she never gave her name in the comment, I recognized the writer as Sabrina immediately when she wrote, "I am now the mother of six sons and have told all of them about you and Steve, Brother 1 and Brother 2 (though I can never remember which is which)!"  Steve Semmler and I only had one "sister" in our high school years. This was my Sis, who I hadn't spoken to in over 20 years. And I could not have been more excited! 

We exchanged comments and I gave her my phone number. On Saturday, I texted Steve to tell him that "she who had been lost had been found!" And then Saturday night, my Sis and I spent 2 glorious hours talking on the phone. I learned about her boys. I learned about her life these past 20 years- the highs and the lows. I shared with her my story, and she showed me amazing grace. We both spoke of the wondrous presence of God in our lives, and how despite our struggles we were both blessed beyond measure.  I discovered an old friend who has a deeper, more personal relationship with Jesus than most anyone I have ever known. And in those 2 hours we rediscovered why, along with Steve, we had been so close all those years ago - we simply love each other like family.  Steve and I were in her home so often that her parents were Ma & Pa Perry to us. Her little brother Billy was our little brother too. We ate enough peanut brittle, blonde brownies and tacos there to feed us for the rest of our lives.  We shared so many highs- and our share of lows. But we never quit loving each other. And suddenly, here she was- back in my life because of this very blog. Don't try to tell me it's not a God Thing.

The picture at the top was taken when Steve and I drove down on our spring break from college in 1978 to visit the Perry family at their new home in Jacksonville. We had an amazing week (including my first ever visit to Walt Disney World). We were all so young, and so connected.  None of us really know how we drifted apart, or why it has been so long. But one thing I do know for sure- it will not happen again. God has given us a second chance- through the wonders of technology that didn't even exist the last time we talked- to be the kind of friends and the kind of family we were meant to be.  She told me Saturday night how good it felt to be called Sis again. It felt good to be Brother 1 again. And make no mistake Steve...I AM Brother One!  :) We will go forward together, a family once again.  And I will not stop smiling anytime soon...

Because of Jesus,

Not Done Yet

Jesus said, "What is humanly impossible is possible for God." -Luke 18:27


The following post (it has been edited) first appeared February 1, 2011.  I reprint it today because I just finished re-reading the book and wanted to remind you all to check it out.  And also to remind myself that because of Jesus, I am not done yet...


"All things are possible with God."  Do you really believe that?  It seems pretty far-fetched.  All things?  Really?  If you don't trust God, if you don't believe that a little faith can move a mighty mountain, if you don't believe God can use anyone to accomplish anything He wants to- then read on.  This story may not seem like much to you, but it is truly a miracle to me.  

Sometime in the Fall of 2010 my old friend Rick Bundschuh sent me a manuscript of a new book he was writing, Deep Like Me (or another failed attempt to walk on water).  The book, full of stories of grace and redemption, is simply wonderful (and available from Amazon).  Rick knew that my life has had its' share of those stories these past few years, and he asked me if I would write a short review of the book- the kind that the publisher could use on the back or inside cover to encourage readers.  So I did.  Here is what I wrote:  At a time when many in the Church see people who fail as "expendable," Rick Bundschuh reminds us of the redemptive nature of God.  His words inspired me, challenged me and, perhaps most importantly, included me in the ongoing narrative of grace as told through Jesus Christ.  Deep Like Me is a must-read for those who have tried to walk on water only to find themselves at the bottom of the sea- yet still feel the call to get out of the boat.  

After thanking me for my words, Rick asked what title the publisher should use under my name to identify me.  Knowing my situation, he told me to think about it a while.  I am, after all, a former water-walking youth pastor who has fallen from grace. That's an ironic phrase that gets tossed around a lot- fallen from grace.  In fact, as it concerns Jesus, it is not possible to do anything that would cause us to fall from grace.  We never deserved it in the first place...  Rick and I both thought this would be a chance to offer some mercy to others whose labels might cause them to feel outcast by society and/or the Church.  I decided to go with these identifiers:  Modern day leper, rescued soul, friend of Jesus, former youth pastor.  

When the book was published in late 2010 I discovered that my words and my labels all made the inside front of the book.  The fact that Rick and the publisher would choose to use a recommendation from a "notorious sinner" like myself stunned me a bit.  To see my words and my name next to the others who wrote blurbs for Rick- Bart Campolo, Tic Long, Dr. David Olshine, Mark Oestricher, Dr. Jim Burns, Bethany Hamilton, Ken McCoy, Marv Penner and others- left my eyes watering and my mouth hanging open.  A sinner like me was "standing" side-by-side with youth ministry royalty.  You don't believe that grace is amazing?  You don't accept that all things are possible with God?  Walk a day in my shoes.  He uses even our failures- MY failures- to help others understand forgiveness, mercy and grace.  I suddenly understand what it must have been like to be Nicodemus- the sinner who went to supper with Jesus.  I don't know why I received the invitation, but I gladly accept it.  Thank you, Rick, for sending this gift of grace my way.

Please never doubt this truth- this God we believe in, and the grace that his son Jesus brings to us, are real.  They are powerful.  They are transforming.  Don't believe it?  Think about my labels from the book.  Modern day leper. Rescued Soul.  Friend of Jesus.  Without an all-powerful God and the amazing grace of our Savior, who could possibly be all of those things at once?  Certainly not me. I have seen the depths of my own sin and been to the bottom of the ocean of life- and I have been saved by grace.  With God's help, I have gotten back in the boat. But I don't intend to stay there.  I am not done yet, not by a long shot!  I can't wait to see what Jesus might have in store for me next...

Because of Jesus,

Our God IS An Awesome God!

This classic Quaker painting, A Presence in the Midst, captures what it is like to worship in the expectation that the Holy Spirit will be present.  What an awesome thing...


(This vintage post first appeared on October 25, 2009.)  There is a scene in the Chris Farley/David Spade comedy Tommy Boy where our two heroes hit a deer with Spade's car and think they have killed it.  Feeling terrible about the accident, they load the body of the deer in the backseat of the car and continue driving, only to have the deer come back to life and totally destroy the classic convertible.  As the deer finishes his work and runs off into the woods, Tommy (Farley) looks at the scene and says "that....was AWESOME!"  

Marilyn, Will and I were at EPCOT one afternoon a number of years ago after a Florida thunderstorm, and a glorious rainbow appeared out over the World Lagoon.  As we were standing there admiring God's handy work, we heard a young lady ask her mom if Disney World had made the rainbow...  

Noah and the Ark, Moses and the parting of the Red Sea, Samson and his feats of strength, David and the slaying of Goliath- all of these awesome acts of God are now often treated as Old Testament "parables."  People don't believe they really happened, they were just stories told to illustrate truths.  We live in a world that often doesn't believe in the awesome and the miraculous.  Even those of us who claim Jesus as our savior don't really expect God to "show up" in amazing ways.  We go to church on Sunday morning hoping the choir or the band will excite us, or that the preacher will keep us awake.  Where is our sense of expectation?  Why aren't we experiencing the Holy Spirit in our midst, making us sit up and exclaim "THAT...was AWESOME!"  Why do we not look at every newborn baby, at every mountain and every star-filled sky and scream "You are AMAZING, God?"  How is it that we can experience the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ in our lives and not be amazed that the Creator of the Universe loves us?  We have come to believe that we are in control.  We have come to believe that our own power and wisdom can save the world.  Too many times, in too many ways, we underestimate and under appreciate the power of God.  We live our lives in fear of terrorists with bombs and meteors crashing into earth, when in fact only God controls the future.  The late Rich Mullins got it right:

Our God, is an awesome God

He reigns from Heaven above,

With wisdom, power and love

Our God is an awesome God!

We need to live our lives in Holy Expectation that the Holy Spirit will move in our mundane lives every day in ways that can only be described as awesome.  Rich told me once that the most important line in the entire Awesome God song is "I hope that we have not too quickly forgotten that our God is an awesome God."  Remember- and expect God to amaze you, so that every night when your head hits the pillow you can look back at the day and say- "THAT...was AWESOME!"

Because of Jesus,

Smell the Color 9

"I would take no for an answer, just to know I heard You speak..."

Lately I've been praying some pretty specific prayers about what God wants me doing with my life and how He wants me to go about it.  I'm praying to feel the leading of the Holy Spirit.  And to be completely honest, I'm just not getting any answers- that I'm aware of.  Now I spent enough years teaching and preaching about prayer to know that God answers all prayers.  I am fully aware of the sermons that teach us that there are 4 answers we may get.  I believe they all follow this basic format:
1) NO- Sometimes God just says no, and we have to get over it and trust that God knows best.
2) SLOW- Sometimes God wants us to be patient and to wait on whatever it is we are asking for.
3) GROW- Sometimes God has areas of of our spiritual life that He wants to see mature before giving us what we ask for.
4) GO-  Sometimes God simply says YES!
It is entirely possible that I am getting the SLOW or GROW answer from God and that I just don't want to hear it.  But what it feels like to me is that God is backed up with prayer requests and that mine is not getting past the secretary.  Anyone else ever feel that way?  

"Now I'm not looking for burning bushes or some divine graffiti to appear..."

I know better than to expect God to spell it all out for me.  Jesus' disciples never had a clue what the plan was for them- why should I be any different?  God likes to make us search, because there is much to be learned in the process.  It's  just that sometimes in my life- like right now- I want answers.  More specifically, I want God's answers.  Sometimes I wish He was a CEO, so I could file a plan and He could accept it or reject it.  Or maybe just send God a text to make sure I'm going the right way.  But that's not how it works.  God wants me to discover what He has coming up next in my life, not file my plan with Him.  And no matter how hard I search, I cannot find the home office.  I know that Jesus is all the proof I should need that God loves me and will take care of me, but I struggle with wanting more.  It's like Chris Rice wrote in his amazing song (all the quotes in this post are from it) Smell the Color 9:

"Cause I can sniff, I can see, and I can
count up pretty high; but these faculties
aren't getting me any closer to the sky,
but my heart of faith keeps poundin' so
I know I'm doin' fine but sometimes findin'
You is just like tryin to smell the color nine."

You know what?  I lied.  I do want a burning bush.  I want to know God's will in my life, and I want to know it now.  I want a return text message from God giving my life direction.  But I'm not going to get it.  There is a great mystery to following God and putting our lives in Jesus' hands.  Is it in many ways a trip into the unknown, one of the scariest places there is for human beings.  That's why we call it faith- the evidence of things unseen.  We want control and we try desperately to hang on to it.  But in fact, real prayer is about letting go of control and trusting God totally.  So I'll keep praying, and trust that the answers will come.  Until then, I'll just keep trying to smell the color 9...

"Nine's not a color, and even if it were you can't smell a color

No, that's my point exactly..."

Because of Jesus,

It's A God Thing



dc Talk- Michael, Toby & Kevin

 In my career as a youth pastor it seemed that at every stop along the way there was a moment, early on in my time at a church, that set the tone and opened the door for special relationships and bigger things to come.  At New Garden Friends Meeting in the late 70's it was a trip to Myrtle Beach and the I've Got This story.  At Springfield Friends Meeting in 1987 it was The Super Bowl Surprise.  At FUMC-Kissimmee in 1994 it was our Mountain Top Mission Trip, also known as The Best Worst Week Ever.  Even the Union Church of Hinsdale had a moment- April Fools Day on our mission trip to Dungannon, VA in 2000.  Each of these stories describe what I call a God Thing; an unplanned happening that allowed my relationships with the students I served to move to a new level.  In October of 2001, God had such a moment planned for the youth of Wesley Memorial UMC.  This is that story.

Pastor Jerry Sweat came through on his promise to get us a 15 passenger van within a couple of weeks of my arrival at WMUMC.  It was very used and pretty beat up, but after some repairs and a new paint job it was ready to go.  We decided to break it in by going to a concert in Lakeland (about an hour away) to see a lot of bands we didn't know much about- and dc Talk.  The concert was at Carpenter's Home Church (kind of a pretentious name, huh? Jesus' home church...it is now defunct...), a 10,000 seat building and home to many of the great concerts we saw during my Kissimmee days.  I was already well aware that we were in the final days of dc Talk as a group.  In fact, the day before the concert I learned that Kevin Max Smith, one third of the trio, would not be in Lakeland.  Even so, a dozen of us (I was the only adult) headed out for an adventure.

I remember very few details about the actual concert.  I do remember that it went on forever.  Band after band took the stage and rocked the place, but I have no memory of who those bands were.  We we ready to see what Toby and Michael would do to wrap the show- and we were not disappointed.  They each did solo stuff, and then they did a set of dc Talk classics, finishing with Jesus Freak.  It was awesome.  By the time we left the church it was well past 11 PM, so I had all the students call their parents and tell them that I would just deliver them to their homes.  I scored big points with the parents for that offer.  More importantly, the ride home turned out to be the best part of the night.

As we travelled we talked about the recent history of the youth ministry at Wesley.  We talked about music.  We talked about relationships.  We stopped for Slurpees to wake everyone up, and we talked some more.  As we arrived back in northwest Hillsborough county, each of them began to help me map out a route to get everyone home.  I had only been in Tampa about 2 weeks; I didn't know where anyone lived or how to get anywhere.  My students gave me a guided tour of the area and discovered where their friends lived.  We stopped at beat up old homes and in gated communities.  It was quite an education.  By the time I got back to my house it was well almost 2 AM.

The next day at church I was no longer just the new guy.  I had built relationships with a small group, and they were telling everyone they knew that I was OK- maybe even cool.  I had stayed out late with them and bought them Slurpees.  And I knew every dc Talk song.  God had used the van, the concert and the trip home to accelerate the community building process in ways I could have never accomplished on my own.  Just a few weeks in and I was so psyched.  But we were all about to be sucker punched in a way we could not have imagined.  That story next Monday...

Because of Jesus,

Until the World Ends...

In August of 2001 I informed the Union Church of Hinsdale that I had accepted a position with Wesley Memorial UMC in Tampa, effective October 1.  At my previous two stops along my journey, Springfield Friends Meeting and FUMC-Kissimmee, I had worked 60 day notices because I had so much I wanted to say and do with my students before leaving them.  At UC, I was pretty much ready to get out of Dodge.  I would miss many of the people.  I would miss my little bible study group terribly, and they were the ones who would really miss me.  I was leaving behind some disappointed adults, who felt like the church had invested too much in me to see me leave after only 18 months.  But the road was plowed.  David Knecht was quickly hired as their new youth pastor, and I thanked God that I had been able to play a positive role in the future of the ministry- by leaving!

I did my best to keep functioning and help David during the "lame duck" period before I left, and one Tuesday morning I was driving into Hinsdale from my home in Clarendon Hills for our weekly staff meeting.  On the short drive I was listening to a cassette tape in the car, one that I had made for myself.  One of the last songs I heard before going in was an old Three Dog Night tune- Until the World Ends.  Among the lyrics are the words, "Daylight always follows the night.  Looking at life as it's always been, it will be that way again...until the world ends."  Those words would come back to me over and over again in the coming weeks.  I entered the church to find everyone gathered in the conference room in front of a TV, watching the footage from New York.  It was September 11, 2001- and the 2nd place was just about to hit the Towers.

Marilyn had taken the train into Chicago as usual that morning, and she arrived at her office to find total chaos.  They were close enough to the Sears Tower that there was fear that they were in a target area for another attack.  Will was in first grade; they were not told anything, but they didn't get to go outside all day.  In those few minutes that morning, the world changed.  My last few weeks at UC would be spent dealing with fear, anger and bigotry.  There are a lot of Muslims in Chicagoland.  Being in crisis mode for most of the last month helped to say good-bye by actually being in ministry to the families of UC, something I had not really felt like I had done much of over the previous 17 months.  Meanwhile, we still had to prepare to move to Tampa.

On September 13, 2001, Marilyn was supposed to fly to Tampa to finally get to see inside the house we would be living in and to register Will for school.  We debated cancelling her trip, but decided it was important to keep going forward.  I felt then, and still feel today, that the most significant victory we could give the terrorists would be to significantly alter our way of life. Our faith was in God, and that didn't change.  So she was among the first to fly after the horror of 9-11.  She had a great weekend in Tampa and came back really excited about the move.  We were going to move.  We were going to begin a new ministry.  Life would go on.

There has been a lot of water under the bridge since those days.  The tragedy of the attacks was compounded by poor political and military decisions.  We have given up many freedoms in the name of preserving freedom.  USAmerica became an angrier, less trusting nation.  The world did indeed change that day.  But one thing did not.  God is still in control.  I was reminded of that during a WMUMC youth trip to NYC in 2003 and a visit to St. Paul's Chapel at Ground Zero (see picture at top).  The stories of God's grace and mercy in the face of such tragedy moved me to tears on several occasions.  Lots of people found a temporary refuge in Jesus during those scary days, and then walked away again when things felt "normal."  But Jesus never- NEVER!- walks away from us.  He is always faithful, and never more so than in the midst of the storm.  And that was what I walked away from UC with- the knowledge that following Jesus may take me places I never imagined and into circumstances I do not understand- but He will always be with me.  Until the world ends...and beyond!

Because of Jesus,

All Things Are Possible

 Jesus said, "What is humanly impossible is possible for God." -Luke 18:27

"All things are possible with God."  Do you really believe that?  It seems pretty far-fetched.  All things?  Really?  If you don't trust God, if you don't believe that a little faith can move a mighty mountain, if you don't believe God can use anyone to accomplish anything He wants to- then read on.  The story may not seem like much to you, but it is truly a miracle to me.  The Jesus Revolution continues...

I have mentioned here before that several months ago my old friend Rick Bundschuh sent me a manuscript of his new book, Deep Like Me (or another failed attempt to walk on water).  The book, full of stories of grace and redemption, is simply wonderful (and now available from Amazon).  Rick knew that my own life has had its' share of those stories these past few years, and he asked me if I would write a short review of the book- the kind that the publisher could use on the back or inside cover to encourage readers.  So I did.  Here is what I wrote:  "At a time when many in the Church see people who fail as "expendable," Rick Bundschuh reminds us of the redemptive nature of God.  His words inspired me, challenged me and, perhaps most importantly, included me in the ongoing narrative of grace as told through Jesus Christ.  Deep Like Me is a must-read for those who have tried to walk on water only to find themselves at the bottom of the sea- yet still feel the call to get out of the boat." 

After thanking me for my words, Rick asked what title the publisher should use under my name to identify me.  Knowing my situation, he told me to think about it a while.  I am, after all, a former water-walking youth pastor who has fallen from grace. That's an ironic phrase that gets tossed around a lot- fallen from grace.  In fact, as it concerns Jesus, it is not possible to do anything that would cause us to fall from grace.  We never deserved it in the first place...  Rick and I both thought this would be a chance to offer some mercy to others whose labels might cause them to feel outcast by society and/or the Church.  I decided to go with these identifiers:  Modern day leper, rescued soul, friend of Jesus, former youth pastor. 

This past week I discovered that my words and my labels all made the inside front of the book.  That Rick and the publisher would choose to use a recommendation from a sinner like me stunned me a bit.  To see my words and my name next to the others who wrote blurbs for Rick- Bart Campolo, Tic Long, Dr. David Olshine, Mark Oestricher, Dr. Jim Burns, Bethany Hamilton, Ken McCoy, Marv Penner and others- left my eyes watering and my mouth hanging open.  A sinner like me was "standing" side-by-side with youth ministry royalty.  You don't believe that grace is amazing?  You don't accept that all things are possible with God?  Walk a day in my shoes.  He uses even our failures- MY failures- to help others understand forgiveness, mercy and grace.  I suddenly understand what it must have been like to be Nicodemus- the sinner who went to supper with Jesus.  I don't know why I received the invitation, but I gladly accept it.  Thank you, Rick, for sending this gift of grace my way.

So today's reminder for the Jesus Revolution is simply this- this God we believe in, and the grace that his son Jesus brings to us, are real.  They are powerful.  They are transforming.  Don't believe it?  Think about my labels from the book.  Modern day leper. Rescued Soul.  Friend of Jesus.  Without an all-powerful God and the amazing grace of our Savior, who could possibly be all of those things at once?  Certainly not me. I have been to the bottom of the ocean, and I have been saved by grace.  With God's help, I have gotten back in the boat.  I can't wait to see what Jesus might have in store for me next...

Because of Jesus,