Magic Moments: One Last Hurrah!

Ski Trip, 2007- at Cracker Barrel

Today is the last entry in my Magic Moments series. When I began these posts I promised there would be 10 posts. This makes 21. I said there would be great memories as well as some ups and downs. This final Throwback Thursday story has both. It is the story of my last days as a youth pastor.

When I began work on the full-time summer staff of Quaker Lake Camp in June of 1978, I was 18 years old. I was still 18 when I led my first youth group at Centre Friends Meeting. I had no idea that nearly 30 years later I would still be doing youth ministry. But in February of 2007 I was still at it, and on February 19 of that year my group from Trinity UMC of Waycross, GA returned home from a ski trip. In many ways it was just like the hundreds of other youth group trips I had been part of over the many years. In at least one way it was like no other. I didn't know it until a few days later, but it had been my last hurrah in student ministry.

The story of the trip really begins a year earlier when I arrived at TUMC. I wanted to change the culture of the youth ministry to reach out to more students in the community and to make our church "the place to be" in Waycross for middle school and high school students. Part of that plan included more trips and more big adventures. In the summer of 2006 we took a successful mission trip to Chicago with the Center for Student Missions. In September we attended Night of Joy at Walt Disney World. By then, we had already announced the ski trip, and excitement was building. We would go to West Virginia and ski Winterplace the week after Christmas. The Guy with the Bus was going home!

As often happens with youth trips, life got in the way. The church van broke down coming home from a Christmas outing to a Japanese restaurant in Brunswick (an hour away). Repairs would be major, and I was left scrambling to find a rental van for those days after Christmas. In the meantime, there was no snow in West Virginia and it was too warm to make any. Winterplace was not even certain they would be open. At the last second, I called and moved our reservations to President's Day Weekend, 2007. This caused much confusion and chaos, but since it was youth ministry, no one really noticed. 

Let it snow!

By the time we actually took the trip, our van was fixed. But the parents who had planned to go along as chaperons had to back out, and no one stepped up to replace them. So my brave wife Marilyn and I took them ourselves- as we had done so often back in the day. I drove the van and she drove our station wagon. We went up on Friday, and any worries about snow were put to rest as soon as we arrived in Virginia. It was snowing like crazy. By the time we arrived at the motel, conditions were tricky. For the students who had never really seen it snow big time, it was amazing. They were all psyched about skiing. It was going to be a great couple of days on the slopes.

A VERY young Will Jones ready for the slopes!

In the middle of that night Marilyn (who never gets sick) became as sick as a dog. By morning it was clear she was going nowhere. So we left her at the motel, loaded up the van, and headed up the mountain to Winterplace. And it was indeed a great couple of days of skiing with a diverse and wonderful group of kids. By the time we were ready to head home on Monday morning, Marilyn was fine. One of the girls, however, was not. Kendall would spend the entire trip back asleep in the back seat of the station wagon, leaving the van a bit more crowded. It snowed more on the way home. But eventually, we arrived safely in Waycross, and I was able to write a safe and successful ending to yet another youth trip.

Meagan & Marilyn in the ski lodge

I was excited for the future of the student ministry of TUMC.  Nearly half of the students on that trip had never been to church at Trinity when I arrived a year before. We were growing. The community was buzzing about us. I was already working on an amazing summer schedule for 2007. Two nights later I led our Wednesday night bible study. That would be my last official act as a youth pastor. After nearly 30 years in ministry, after hundreds of trips, countless programs, thousands of games, 3 guitars and more wonderful relationships than I can possibly count, I was suddenly- and I knew quite permanently- finished as a youth pastor. Seven years later I am still recovering. I have experienced the grace and forgiveness of Jesus in new ways. I have been loved and supported by family and friends (and a whole new community of grace-filled folks from Twitter!) in ways I never expected. I have even found new ways to continue to be in ministry with many of the people I served for all those years. But as I look back today, I see that final trip, and thank God for it- and all of the incredible adventures He allowed me over those many years. My life has been so blessed. So many Magic Moments, so many stories that have been shared here on this blog. But still...I really miss those amazing trips! Anybody else feeling the need to hit the road? Crank up the Bohemian Rhapsody and let's go!  :)

Because of Jesus,

Magic Moments: The Flaming Bus

Magic Moments in student ministry can take many forms, including occasionally taking on legendary status. This story of a skit trip to West Virginia has been shared at least twice in the years I have been writing this blog, and it is still one of the most popular, It's today's #TBT and this week's Magic Moment! Enjoy!

We took a Ski Trip from Kissimmee to the mountains of West Virginia, North Carolina or Virginia every year from 1995-2000. To be completely honest, they all run together a bit and it is hard to remember what happened on any given trip. But I am certain that what you are about to read is true, even if it does sound like the plot from a terrible made-for-TV movie!

Our adventure begins in Princeton, WV, where we had arrived the day before after an all-night bus ride. We would be skiing at Winterplace, located about 8 miles north of our motel. All of our arrangements for the trip had been made through a company called Carolina Tours, a group that we knew well and trusted completely. A year or two before their representative Robert had saved our trip by moving the entire excursion from Boone, NC to Winterplace at the last minute- because Boone had no snow. This year we had a different problem. It was brutally cold. We were warned about what the wind and cold up on the mountain could do our skin and our health. We were warned to stay out for short runs and then visit the lodge often. We were not warned about what the intense cold would do to a Floridian bus! When we woke up and loaded the bus on our first day of skiing, our fearless drivers Dave and Vern were trying to warm the bus for us, but it just wasn't working. As we left the motel and tried to merge on to I-77, we discovered the heater was not the only problem we had. We couldn't accelerate. We moved onto the highway doing a robust 8 miles per hour. Dave pulled the bus over to the side of the road, hoping that letting it sit and run would thaw out the diesel fuel and get us going. It didn't. We continued on, and everyone on the bus was freezing. Our pace continued until we had to climb our first major hill, and the bus almost stopped moving. We once again pulled over to see if we could thaw out;  Vern left the bus and went to the woods by the roadside to relieve himself. He came back explaining how peeing outdoors in 10 degree weather was not a good idea! It took us over an hour and a half to drive the 8 miles to Winterplace that morning, but we got there. And we skied and had a great time, I am sure. But the fun was just beginning.

While the group was out on the mountain, Dave and Vern were talking to professional bus drivers who had driven to Winterplace that day about fixing our problem. They were told to add a very small amount of kerosene to the fuel mixture, and that this would help the diesel move through the engine more freely. They took the bus down to a gas station and added the kerosene, and drove back up- but they couldn't feel any difference. When we left Winterplace late that afternoon, the bus was a bit better but still very sluggish. As we headed south on I-77 to our motel, we felt a sudden jolt, and almost instantly we were moving at full speed again. The kerosene had worked, and all was right with our world!

About the same time,  Erin Augenblick yelled to me from her seat in the back of the bus that she thought she saw fire behind the bus. No one else had seen anything, and we were finally moving again, so we just ignored Erin. In fact, I believe we made fun of Erin. A few moments later we arrived back at our motel, and as the bus doors opened an SUV pulled up next to us and out jumped Robert, our Carolina Tours friend. He looked panicked about something, and began asking me if I had seen "them." I am sure I looked confused, so he began to explain. He had been behind us coming up the interstate, and had seen an amazing thing. When the kerosene kicked in, we not only gained speed, but we began shooting flames out of our tailpipe. Not just one or two, but a series of five foot long streams of fire. He could see the fear in the faces of the other drivers on the road. We became a rolling flame thrower! And all we could do was thank God that no one was injured.

The bus was just fine the following day, and we headed back up to the mountain for some more skiing. When we arrived and entered the lodge to claim our tables for the day, there was a buzz. People were pointing at me. I could hear the murmurs; "That's the guy with the bus!"  Robert had shared out story, and it had instantly become legendary. I returned to Winterplace a number of times and with several different churches after that, and every time someone would remember that I was "the guy with the bus." I guess it is good to have a legacy...even if the legacy is a flame-throwing bus!!!

The moral of this story is adventures take many forms, and sometimes the "oops" stories stick with us longer that the perfect ones, And also,  NEVER doubt Erin Augenblick!  

Because of Jesus,

Magic Moments: "Sometimes People Die"

Conner & Bob BEFORE the "incident"

One of my favorite people in the world is Jennifer (Bob) Minnigan Kuramochi. This blog is full of stories featuring her and memories of my Kissimmee days, but one story clearly stands out as a Magic Moment. It took place on a Ski Trip to Boone, NC in 1996.  We were blessed over the years to never have anyone seriously injured on the slopes (we did have one major fake injury, but that is another story) but there were some interesting adventures. This is the tale of one such night. This story has been told here before, and will probably be told again. It's that good! Enjoy this Throwback Thursday! 

One evening we had returned from skiing and dinner to our chalet-style motel on the outskirts of Boone, and there was time to kill while we waited for our scheduled time in the group room.  We were planning a time of worship together. At some point during the down time, a small but violent wrestling match broke out between Connor Lewis and Jennifer. There was some reference to there being a game of something called Caveman, and Joe Montgomery was implicated as well. The details of the event have always been a bit sketchy, but it is my belief that at some point Connor picked Bob up and body slammed her (OK, not really, but it makes the story better)!  In any case, Jennifer's arm was hurt badly enough that they came and got me, I got Dr. Jill Painter, and together we decided she needed to got to the hospital.  I got directions while Jill grabbed our fearless bus drivers, David Johns and Vern Watson.  Even though only three of us needed to go, the bus was our only means of transportation.  I have often wondered what the emergency room staff thought when they saw a 60 passenger bus pull up to the front door that night...

We went inside and begin to check Jennifer in, and things continued to be interesting.  I pulled out the medical release form that all youth pastors have had students fill out since the dawn of time and presented it to the lady at the desk, proving to her that I had the right to secure medical attention for Jen.  She looked at it, laughed at me, and proceeded to explain that those release forms are not worth the paper they are printed on.  So we moved on to the next thing, calling Jennifer's mom to let her give the doctors permission.  From my end, hearing only Jen, the conversation sounded something like this:  "Mom, we are at the emergency room...No, the skiing was great...I got hurt at the motel....horseplay."  She failed to mention the body slam.  In any case, with Bob now signed in, it was time to wait.  There were several people there, mostly with ski injuries.  There was a rack of pamphlets about dealing with tragedy available in the waiting area, and we picked up a few to read.  Dave and Vern had joined us by this time, and as we all settled in for the wait we began to look at a pamphlet entitled What To Say To Your Children When Their Friends Are Sick.  We opened to the first page and read the words of wisdom that I have quoted so many times since.  It read, "You should prepare your children for the worst.  When their friends are sick, inform them that sometimes people die."  And right there, in the middle of sick and injured people, the five of us began to laugh uncontrollably.  We couldn't stop.  We kept thinking of scenarios in which a child had their tonsils out or broken a nail and their friends were told "Sometimes people die."  After Jennifer left us and went back for x-rays we continued to laugh and make fun of this booklet.  They gave her a clean bill of health (her arm was actually fractured, but no one in Boone ever told us that) and we hopped back on our bus and headed back to our waiting group.

On our way back we (OK, I) devised a plan to shake Connor up a little bit.  They group was waiting in the group room, but Connor was out waiting for the bus.  He was truly concerned for Jennifer's welfare.  As we pulled up we had Jen hide, and I got off the bus and went to Connor.  With my most serious look, I told him that it was pretty bad.  I told him Bob had not done well.  And then, without a trace of a smile, I told him "Connor- sometimes people die!"  For just an instant, his face and body language told me he was buying it.  That was more than we could take, and we all started laughing and Jennifer came out and gave him a hug.  Yes, I know it was cruel; I also know it was hilarious!  We then went in and had a time of worship together, full of a new knowledge of how much we cared about each other.  It was a great night.

Jennifer and Conner are both in my Hall of Fame.  I have been telling this story for years, and in fact even had the opportunity to tell Jennifer's husband Jun of our adventure. It was truly a Magic Moment! I am so glad I was there that night, so that I have the skills to deal with my son Will when his friends are sick.  I take his hand, look him in the eyes and say, "Will...sometimes people die."  Feel free to use this in your own life, but don't be surprised when people laugh!

Because of Jesus,

7 Tips For Student Ministry Trips

Me napping in Nashville- 1999 Mission Trip

Trips were always among my favorite things about being in student ministry, and I led a bunch of them over my 28 years of service- by my best estimate somewhere in the neighborhood of 100!  There were more than a dozen trips to NYC; nearly 20 trips to Myrtle Beach; 10 or so ski trips; international trips to Mexico and the Bahamas; and various trips to DC, Nashville, Chicago, Spartanburg, Walt Disney World and Dungannon, VA.  There were also retreats, concerts and Night of Joy/Rock the Universe, as well as various day trips.  We traveled a lot, and my former students tell me those trips were among the best things they have ever experienced.  Over those years I compiled a lot of miles in vans and learned a lot of tips to help keep me sane!  Today I share 7 of my worst kept secrets with you.  Not included is the important but obvious tip, "Never pass up an opportunity to take a nap!"  I hope you enjoy this list...

1)  Know Your Purpose - Every trip should have a main purpose; if not, I'm not sure why you would be taking it.  And whatever that main purpose is, build the trip around it.  Mission trips are obvious, but most every other trip you need to advertise and schedule to fit your purpose.  When we went to Myrtle Beach, our purpose was fellowship, and we said so.  It would have been unfair and purpose-defeating to schedule 6 hours of study or service each day.  But there was nothing wrong with a house meeting, devo and worship at the end of each day to remind them why our group exists in the first place- that was a part of the fellowship.  Don't try to pull a bait & switch on your students.  Know your purpose.

Me expressing my expectations at
Myrtle Beach, 2004

2)  Express Expectations - I have known some excellent, effective youth pastors who never took a trip without passing out a 3 page list of rules for the event.  That was never my style.  Instead, I was a big believer in shared expectations.  I would always sit my groups down on the first night and tell them what a privilege it was to be on that particular trip.  I would remind them that they were representing their church, and that the name was on the side of the van.  I would encourage them to remember that they were representing Jesus, and that their actions reflected on our Savior.  And finally, I would share with them the knowledge that their behavior would determine whether future groups would ever get to enjoy the hotel, campground, restaurant or conference center that they were currently enjoying.  I am a firm believer that expecting teenagers to do the right thing is a far better deterrent than giving them a list of things you think they will do wrong.
3)  Music - If you are taking a van, make sure you have a system in place for controlling the music the driver has to listen to.  In the old days, the co-pilot (usually another adult) controlled the radio.  Once cassette players and then CD players became a factor, I always had a rule that anyone could pass up music to be played, but they were limited to 3 songs.  This meant if they passed up something awful (like, for instance, rap!) we knew it would be over fairly quickly.  Now, with I-pods, I think it is important to schedule some "group music" time, letting kids pass up their MP3 players and using the 3 song rule.  Every trip needs a soundtrack.  In any case, make sure you bring plenty of music you like so you can educate them in the good stuff.  And always- ALWAYS! - begin a trip with Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.  Don't ask why.  Just do it!

Sometimes culture is overrated...

4)  Cultural Experiences - In my experience, many of the students I worked with over the years were traveling with me to places they would have never gotten to visit without our ministry.  It is important to remember that fact, and to make sure the kids get a cultural education while there.  Eat at local restaurants, not fast food chains.  Visit parts of the city where they will encounter the poor and homeless and feel a little threatened.  Take time to see the sights they have read about and studied but never been to.  Minister to the whole person, and the things you teach them about faith will seem much more relevant and real.
5)  Outside the Lines - This is a bit controversial, and is one you can only do if you have already built great relationships with the students you serve- but it is soooo worth it!  Take your group and intentionally do something you previously told them not to do.  Break a rule!  For instance, at the beach we always said don't go in the ocean after dark.  Take them all swimming at midnight.  In New York we would sometimes hike to Times Square at 2 AM, or turn left coming out of the Milford Plaza (a real no-no!) just so they could see some real NYC night life.  Extend curfew on the last night of a retreat and order pizza.  Don't be reckless, but show them you know how to get a little crazy.  And make sure everyone is invited to join in.  These types of things will change the way they see you and provide your group with stories they will never forget.

They don't seem to be suffering too much at
the seafood buffet!

6)  Do Something Just For You  - Not a big deal on a weekend trip, but if you're going to be gone for a while you need to schedule something just for you.  When we would go to Myrtle Beach, for example, I would always plan a group meal at one of the all-you-can-eat Calabash style seafood buffets.  I didn't care if the youth liked seafood or not.  That was my reward for sleeping in a house with 45 teenagers for a week.  If your spouse travels with you, plan a time for just the two of you to get away, and maybe take a carriage ride through Central Park.  Youth trips should be all about the students for the most part, but doing something for yourself helps preserve your sanity- and that's good for your youth too!
7)  Be Relentless/The Trust Factor  - A mom from one of my groups, who took several trips with us a chaperon, once wrote that she was amazed at the trust I gave my students.  She was also amazed at the way they responded to being trusted and loved.  That was very cool to hear.  She then went on to write about the other part of the story, which is that "with Carl, there is no unplanned moment.  The opportunities for mischief are few and far between."  Both of these things are true.  I trusted them unless one of them they showed me they didn't deserve it, and I always kept them busy.  Even during free times I kept them focused on The Next Big Thing.  The one catch to this theory is that you have to match their energy and enthusiasm, because you have to model what you want them to do.  

Melbourne Beach, 1996.  Every group photo
captures a unique moment in our lives.  

So why do I think these suggestions are worth sharing?  Because in 28 years of youth ministry, I cannot think of a single trip I look back on and wish we had not taken. I never sent a student home from a trip- and only 1 time did I even think about it.  We never went anyplace that didn't invite us to return.  In fact, my groups were allowed to rent the fabulous Betsy B for years after the realty company quit renting it to youth groups.  The Milford Plaza Hotel in NYC once went 10 years without ever raising our room rates.  We were loved everywhere we went.  And perhaps most importantly, we always found a way to get done whatever it was we went to do, and to do it in the name of Jesus.  Did we have issues and misadventures?  Absolutely!  But so does life.  Trips can be the lifeblood of the youth group experience.  I hope these tips will help your next trip be as sensational as the hundreds I was blessed to enjoy.

Because of Jesus,

Remember- Sometimes People Die

Earlier this week I was reorganizing some of the pages here on the blog, and I was reading a few of the old posts I have listed as favorites under the tab FUMC-K.  I came across this classic post from June 12, 2010 that retells one of my favorite stories from a ski trip we took from Kissimmee to Boone, NC.  It is not only a really good story, but it is about a whole bunch of my very favorite people.  So enjoy this vintage post, shared again here with a few updates.  The Saturday Shout Outs! will return next week.

One of my favorite memories of my Kissimmee days is from a Ski Trip to Boone, NC.  We were blessed over the years to never have anyone seriously injured on the slopes (we did have one major fake injury, but that is another story).  But on this particular adventure we had to take Jennifer (Bob) Minnigan (pictured) to the emergency room  This is the story of that night.

One evening we had returned from skiing and dinner to our chalet-style motel on the outskirts of Boone, and there was time to kill while we waited for our scheduled time in the group room.  We were planning a time of worship together.  At some point during the down time, a small but violent wrestling match broke out between Connor Lewis (also pictured) and Jennifer. The details of the event have always been a bit sketchy, but it is my belief that at some point Connor picked Bob up and body slammed her with a move known as the Flying Yolanda (or something like that)!  In any case, Jennifer's arm was hurt badly enough that they came and got me.  We went to see Dr. Jill Painter, one of my fabulous adult volunteers, and together we decided that Jen needed to got to the hospital.  I got directions while Jill grabbed our fearless bus drivers, David Johns and Vern Watson.  Even though only three of us actually needed to go, the bus was our only means of transportation.  I have often wondered what the emergency room staff thought when they saw a 60 passenger bus pull up to the front door that night...

We went inside and begin to check Jennifer in, and things continued to be interesting.  I pulled out the notarized medical release form that all youth pastors have had students/parents fill out since the dawn of time and presented it to the lady at the desk, proving to her that I had the right to secure medical attention for Jen.  She looked at it, laughed at me, and proceeded to explain that those release forms are not worth the paper they are printed on.  So we moved on to the next thing, calling Jennifer's mom to let her give the doctors permission.  From my end, hearing only Bob, the conversation sounded something like this:  "Mom, we are at the emergency room...No, the skiing was great...I got hurt at the motel....horseplay."  She failed to mention the body slam.  In any case, with Jen now signed in, it was time to wait.  There were several people there, mostly with skiing injuries.  There was a rack of pamphlets on dealing with tragedy in the waiting area, and we picked a few up to read.  Dave and Vern had joined us by this time, and as we all settled in for the wait we began to look at a pamphlet entitled What To Say To Your Children When Their Friends Are Sick.  We opened to the first page and read the words of wisdom that I have quoted so many times since.  It read, "You should prepare your children for the worst.  When their friends are sick, inform them that sometimes people die."  And right there, in the middle of sick and injured people, the five of us began to laugh uncontrollably.  We couldn't stop.  We kept thinking of scenarios in which a child had their tonsils out or broke a nail and their friends were told "Sometimes people die."  After Jennifer left us and went back for x-rays we continued to laugh and make fun of this booklet.  They gave her a clean bill of health (it turned out her arm was actually fractured, but no one in Boone ever told us that) and we hopped back on our bus and headed back to our waiting group.

On our way back we (OK, I) devised a plan to shake Connor up a little bit.  They group was waiting in the group room, but Connor was out waiting for the bus.  He was truly concerned for Jennifer's welfare.  As we pulled up we had Jen hide, and I got off the bus and went to Connor.  With my most serious look, I told him that it was pretty bad.  I told him Bob had not done well.  And then, without a trace of a smile, I told him "Connor- sometimes people die!"  For just an instant, his face and body language told me he was buying it.  That was more than we could take, and we all started laughing and Jennifer came out and gave him a hug.  Yes, I know it was cruel; I also know it was hilarious!  We then went in and had a time of worship together, full of a new knowledge of how much we cared about each other.  It was a great night.

Jennifer,  Connor, Vern and Dave are already in my Hall of Fame, and Dr. Jill will join them soon.  I have been telling this story for years, and in fact, one of the last time I told it I was with Jennifer as we told her husband.  I am so glad I was there that night, so that I have the skills to deal with my son Will when his friends have the common cold.  I put my hand on his shoulder, look him in the eyes and say, "Will...sometimes people die."  Feel free to use this in your own life, but don't be surprised when people laugh!

Because of Jesus,

One Last Hurrah

Ski Trip, 2007- at Cracker Barrel

When I began work on the full-time summer staff of Quaker Lake Camp in June of 1978, I was 18 years old.  I had no idea that nearly 30 years later I would still be doing youth ministry.  But in February of 2007 I was still at it, and on February 19 of that year my group from Trinity UMC of Waycross, GA returned home from a ski trip.  In many ways it was just like the hundreds of other youth group trips I had been part of over the many years.  In at least one way it was like no other.  I didn't know it until a few days later, but it had been my last hurrah in student ministry.


The story of the trip really begins a year earlier when I arrived at TUMC.  I wanted to change the culture of the youth ministry to reach out to more students in the community and to make our church "the place to be" in Waycross for middle school and high school students. Part of that plan included more trips and more big adventures.  In the summer of 2006 we took a mostly successful mission trip to Chicago with the Center for Student Missions.  In September we attended Night of Joy at Walt Disney World. By then, we had already announced the ski trip, and excitement was building.  We would go to West Virginia and ski Winterplace the week after Christmas. 


As often happens with youth trips, life got in the way. The church van broke down coming home from a Christmas outing to a Japanese restaurant in Brunswick (an hour away).  Repairs would be major, and I was left scrambling to find a rental van for those days after Christmas.  In the meantime, there was no snow in West Virginia and it was too warm to make any.  Winterplace was not even certain they would be open.  At the last second, I called and moved our reservations to President's Day Weekend, 2007.  This caused much confusion and chaos, but since it was youth ministry, no one really noticed.  :)

Let it snow!

By the time we actually took the trip, our van was fixed.  But the parents who had planned to go along as chaperons had to back out, and no one stepped up to replace them.  So my brave wife Marilyn and I took them ourselves- as we had done so often back in the day.  I drove the van and she drove our station wagon.  We went up on Friday, and any worries about snow were put to rest as soon as we arrived in Virginia. It was snowing like crazy.  By the time we arrived at the motel, conditions were tricky.  For the students who had never really seen it snow big time, it was amazing.  They were all psyched about skiing. It was going to be a great couple of days of he slopes.

My son Will ready for the slopes!

In the middle of that night Marilyn (who never gets sick) became as sick as a dog. By morning it was clear she was going nowhere.  So we left her at the motel, loaded up the van, and headed up the mountain to Winterplace. And it was indeed a great couple of days of skiing.  By the time we were ready to head home on Monday morning, Marilyn was fine.  One of the girls, however, was not.  Kendall would spend the entire trip back asleep in the back seat of the station wagon, leaving the van a bit more crowded.  It snowed more on the way home.  But eventually, we arrived safely in Waycross, and I was able to write a safe and successful ending to yet another youth trip.

Meagan & Marilyn in the ski lodge

I was excited for the future of the student ministry of TUMC.  Nearly half of the students on that trip had never been to church at Trinity when I arrived a year before.  We were growing.   The community was buzzing about us. I was already working on an amazing summer schedule for 2007.   Two nights later I led our Wednesday night bible study.  That would be my last official act as a youth pastor.  Hidden sins caught up with me, and the church had no choice but to ask me leave.  My life would change forever.  After nearly 30 years in ministry, after hundreds of trips, countless programs, thousands of games and more wonderful relationships than I can possibly count, I was suddenly- and I knew quite permanently- finished as a youth pastor. Five years later I am still recovering.  I have experience the grace and forgiveness of Jesus in new ways.  I have been loved and supported by family and friends (and a whole new community of grace-filled folks from Twitter!) in ways I never expected.  I have even found new ways to continue to be in ministry with some of the now adult youth I served for all those years. But as I look back today, I see that final trip, and thank God for it- and all of the amazing adventures He allowed me over those many years.  My life has been so blessed.  But still...I really miss those trips. Crank up the Bohemian Rhapsody and let's go!  :)


Because of Jesus,

Mistakes, Miscalculations & Misgivings

The student ministry of Wesley Memorial UMC was not exactly bonding over our shared time together at our 2002 Ski Camp in Winterplace, WV.  The beneath-the-surface hard feelings and mistrust between some of the students was palpable.  The mix on that trip was so odd.  There were long time members of the youth group, newcomers, and close friends who were spending a final weekend together before Pastor Jerry Sweat and his family left us. There was a young girl and her father who took the trip together- and I never saw either of them at church again.  The whole vibe was just weird to me- and this wasn't my first rodeo.  But as tense as it was, it was about to get much worse.

The details have escaped my feeble mind, but some of the guys got into one of the girls' rooms and taped down a canister of some sort of spray, so this it would all disperse in the room while the girls were skiing.  Unfortunately, it worked like a charm.  The room was so thick with the smell of whatever it was that you literally could not enter it.  The girls were livid, and immediately began to plan to strike back.  And they were going nuclear.  I had to act, and I had to act fast.  So I called the girls together and told them that I would help them with a prank IF they would do it my way.  They agreed.  I "borrowed" keys from guys in the two rooms that had planned the aerosol attack and we bought two large containers of baby powder.  When the guys came down for our group worship time that night, the girls were a bit late.  They went in to the guys' rooms, pulled back the covers on the beds and doused them with the baby powder.  When the guys went to get in bed that night, they were in for a big, but harmless (or so I thought) surprise.

In the meantime, we had a nice time of worship and prayer while saying good-bye to Ryan & Ashley Sweat.  It turned out that when you got this group away from the overwhelming volume of a praise band and into a smaller room, they could really sing!  I remember especially how emotional it was for Jacquie Thomson and Kristen Schroeder, Ashley's best friends (the 3 of them are pictured at top).  For a few moments, there was a real sense of togetherness in the group.  I thought that perhaps we had survived the storm.

WRONG!  When the guys discovered the baby powder later that night, everything fell apart. Kids were yelling at each other, one of the parents who chaperoned went crazy and wanted to extract a pound of flesh from the girls right then and there, and a few of the "outcast" girls joined in on the guys side.  I thought I had calmed everyone down when one of the guys- Chris- went absolutely nuts.  In all my years of youth ministry I had never seen a youth that angry.  It was scary.  Again, having only been around WMUMC a few months at the time, no one had warned me about Chris.  After one more trip with us in the summer of 2002 he would become the only student in 28 years that I banned from youth trips.  Slowly and painfully we "talked Chris down" and managed to get everyone off to bed.  I was so ready to go home, and so sure this group was beyond my help.  The good news was that many of the youth had missed a fair portion of this drama, so not everyone was in the foul mood I was in.  I laid in bed trying to decide if I had helped at all or if I had just been the one who poured gas on the fire.  And I prayed for guidance.

Fortunately, despite my attitude, God didn't give up on me.  My relationships with many of those ski trip "survivors" would grow over the following months, and by the end of the summer of 2002 they became the core of what was going to become an outstanding student ministry. But looking back now, it was a difficult transformation for the kids and for me.  It was only January, and I knew what I needed to kick-start the ministry and build relationships.  It was the same thing that had been helping my youth ministries thrive for years.  I needed a summer.  And it would eventually arrive.  The story continues Monday...

Because of Jesus,

"Oh Noooo..."

In most every episode of the classic TV sitcom Friends there is a moment when Phoebe realizes that she has misunderstood something or done something terribly wrong.  As you watch the look of realization come over her face, you always know the words that are going to follow:  "Oh noooo..."

When the students of Wesley Memorial UMC loaded our chartered bus in January of 2002 to head to West Virginia for our Ski Camp, I already knew it was going to be an emotional rollercoaster.  For Ryan & Ashley Sweat (the children of our departing pastor) this would be their "last stand" with the group.  Several youth who otherwise might not have signed up for the trip tagged along just because of that fact.  I had not been around this group long enough to know that there were some deeply seeded issues that separated many of the youth.  I was about to learn a great deal.

You may recall from a previous post that the previous youth pastor had spent a great amount of time and effort seeking to prevent the males and females of the group from "co-mingling."  They had spent months studying the Joshua Harris (don't get me started) book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye.  While I have no doubt of the sincerity of the effort, the results had been an abject failure.  There had been so much "underground" dating in this group that there were still many hard feelings.  Even the bus ride up had a few tense moments.  Once we arrived, we checked into our motel and began to settle in.  It only took a couple of hours before the sniping started.  Two of the girls knocked on the door to my room and informed me that two of our students were having sex in one of the rooms.  I immediately ran to the room and discovered a group of about 15 youth sitting, chatting and watching TV.  One of the girls was giving one of the guys a back rub.  This was the "sex."  It turned out that one of the girls who reported the event to me had a long-standing crush on the guy and didn't like the girl.  It was the first of many eye-opening discoveries about the inter-personal relationships I was dealing with.

This was a group of haves and have nots.  Some of the youth were literally outcasts, with no real friends in the group.  Cliques were strong and plentiful.  Feelings were easily hurt.  Attitudes needed some serious adjustments.  A couple of these students had anger issues much more serious than any I had dealt with before.  It was going to take a great deal of effort to overcome the history some of them shared.  Before I could get them to trust each other I was going to have get them to trust me.  As often happens, things would get worse before they got better.  And as happens just as often, I was in the middle of it all- for better and for worse.  Oh noooo...   (Continued on Wednesday)

Because of Jesus,

Kissimmee Odds & Ends

If you have 34 odds and ends on a table, and you knock 33 of them off, what do you have left?  An odd or an end?   - George Carlin

Today I want to share a few odd thoughts on my years at FUMC-K, and bring that section of this blog to an end.  There will be some more New York stories coming in a month and more ski trip stories as well, but tomorrow we will move on to the Union Church of Hinsdale.  So here we go!

• Way back in April I told you the story of SFM's return trip from Walt Disney World in 1993.  Included in that story was a description of a stop we made at Simmon's Truck Stop in South Carolina, and I promised you there would be yet another tale told about that place.  I never got around to telling it until now.  The FUMC-K group was returning from a ski trip in West Virginia, with Vern Watson and David Johns (pictured) driving the bus.    A car pulled along side of the bus and told Vern that the tread was coming off one of the rear tires.  We decided to stop at the next exit and check it out.  We pulled off, and turned into the large parking lot of a truck stop.   I could not believe our bad luck.  We were back at Simmon's, and it had not changed a bit- the guns, the dobermans and the porn were all still there!  To understand just how horrible this place was, click here to get the whole story.  What are the odds- different church groups, several years apart, winding up in the same hell hole needing a tire.  And I don't think we saved a soul either time...

• At a National Youth Workers Convention I attended with Jerry Hanbery and the other Banana Splits, Jerry had the Affirmation Team at the NYWC put up a banner honoring me.  I don't know if I ever really told him how much that meant to me, but I kept it for years, and it is pictured at right in the enormous closet (with the Wendy's cups) that was in my office.  Thanks, Sundance- for so many things!
• In November of 1999, Andrew Lewis, Mark McKenna and myself drove from Kissimmee to Cincinnati for the NYWC (Jerry joined us as well, although by then he driving a truck and just met us there for part of the time).  I don't know how many miles we drove, but I do know this:  It takes 17 CD's to make that trip- right Mark?  :)




Caron Cook and Kim Heiter


• Tommy Weaver, Meagan Hill, Joe Molnar, Eric Jakobsen, Jason Fry, Wayne Crotty, Cindy Franklin, Erin Bay, Jill Franklin, Aaron Falcon, Joan Thompson, Tricia Young, Bobby Young, Kim Heiter, Caron Cook, Lindsey Joiner, Brian Joiner, Natalie Moon, Megan Bay, Hamp Sessions, Chris Hanbery, Daniel Autrey, Celia Thacker, Matt Wheeler, Kristin King, Angie Whalin, Krystle Singleton, Melissa Pollock, Brook Teoli, Matthew Teoli, Ashley Blazina, Stephanie Gorman, Ashley Arrington, Sarah Dykes, Elizabeth Dykes, Courtney Moon, Sally Hollingsed, Steven Hollingsed,  Sarah Autrey, Lisa Harrison, Jessica Oversteet, Jay Lynes, Jennifer Borders, Josh Harris, May de le Fe, Carla Odell, Christine Cooper, Melanie Schultz, Stephanie Potter, Matthew Rogers, Trey Augenblick, Jon Burlison, John Holmes, Jennifer Holmes and Jessie Gudahl.  This is an incomplete list of people who were an important part of my years in Kissimmee, but whose names have not shown up very often in this blog.  You are remembered and you are loved.  I would love for my FUMC-K readers to pass along other names I may have overlooked in the comment sections.




Jill and Debbie at Golf Tourney, 1998


• And finally, I want to give a shout out to a couple of ladies who always made me laugh, patiently listened to my gripes and kept me sane (as close as I get,anyway) - Debbie Davis and Jill Augenblick.  They took care of my son (Jill led the child care and Debbie the FUMC School) in his early years (even if we did fight over which was "the real school").  They often invaded my office, stole my candy and made my days enjoyable.  Even after I was gone, they remained my good friends, meeting me for clandestine lunches so The Pastor Who Shall Not Be Named would not know they were consorting with this persona non grata.  It was a joy, an honor and a pleasure to work with each of them, and I miss them still.

Thanks to all of my old friends from Kissimmee who have been such faithful readers.  If you'd like to take a look back at what I have written about you, visit the FUMC-K's Greatest Hits page.  I hope you'll stay with me as I look back on my journey after I left you.  It might just make you smile, because it turns out God has a great sense of humor.  I know I'd laugh- but all this happened to me...

Because of Jesus,

The Final Countdown

You have not entered a time warp.  Last night when editing this post I accidentally hit "publish" instead of "save."  That is why the the date line says it is Tuesday instead of Wednesday.  Trust me- it's Wednesday!

Marilyn and I decided in late October of 1999 that we were going to accept the invitation to lead the student ministries at the Union Church of Hinsdale outside of Chicago.  We had never wanted to leave the First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee, but we found ourselves with few options.  I could no longer serve along side of The Pastor Who Shall Not Be Named.  (As an aside, the first time my mother met him it was in our front yard, because he had parked at our house across from the church.  He introduced himself to her as "The Big Cheese."  She said she knew then that he and I would never last...)  I was prepared to tell FUMC-K of my plans and leave before the end of 1999, but circumstances led me to delay the entire event.  I could not leave in such a time of need, so I wound up announcing my move in January and actually leaving in March.  Once again, just as I had done when leaving Springfield Friends Meeting 6 years earlier, I went to the youth and asked them what they wanted to do in our last weeks together (click here for that story).  And once again, the answer was, "EVERYTHING!" 

We certainly gave it our best shot.  I put together a Ski Trip.  Our usual spots, Winterplace in West Virginia and Appalachian in Boone, NC were both totally booked.  My old friends at Carolina Tours (CTI) found us space at Massanutten Ski Resort in Virginia.  I had never heard of it before (or since), and yes- it truly was a "mass of nuttin."  But we went (see pictures) and had a great time, treasuring each moment as if it was our last time together- because for some of us, it was.  I also recall that on that trip a young person from another youth group died in a skiing accident while we were there, and we gathered with a number of other groups to pray for his friends and family.  It was a very touching moment that put much of our sadness into perspective.

Back in Kissimmee, we sang every song we loved (every week!), went to all of our favorite restaurants together, played our favorite games and hung out as often as possible.  I threw together one last Rec Around the Clock, even though it wasn't summer.  We took time to be together and to share the love we had for each other.  Just as it had been at SFM, it was exhausting to do all of this while packing and preparing for a new ministry.  But it was sooooo worth it...

The final big event before the farewell parties was a retreat at Melbourne Beach.  This time it really was a "Last Gasp."  I remember very specific moments from that weekend.  I remember posing for the picture (at right) with Julia, Victoria, Izzy and Brittney.  I remember a bunch of youth coming in my room and watching a movie together.  I remember going out to eat at a Chinese restaurant for lunch on Saturday and feeling incredibly blessed to be sharing life with such amazing people.  And I remember sitting by the pool very late one night, praying for each of the youth of FUMC-K by name, and knowing how much I would miss them all.  I had done all I could do- it was time to "let go and let God."

Friday I will remember some of the farewell moments and say good-bye to the Kissimmee years.  Tomorrow it's another Moment With Mullins.  See you then.

Because of Jesus,

First Aid

I mentioned in a previous post (Defending Scott) that Scott Burlison ( see picture) was never boring.  He was a youth from a difficult family background who loved the youth group and was very active during his high school years.  Scott was a great guy who just wanted and needed a lot of attention.   I have also mentioned previously (Sometimes people die) that I never had anyone seriously injured on a Ski Trip.  Today's story brings those two facts together in a story you had to see to believe...

I loved Ski Trips, but I was never much into skiing.  I had a fall getting out of a lift chair when I was in college that pretty much shut down the mountain for a few minutes while they sorted out the pile of humanity I created, and from that point forward I became a spectator on the slopes.  My task was to sit in the lodge, hold our tables, play Pass the Pigs, drink hot chocolate- and wait.  What was I waiting for?  The announcement.  Every time a voice would come over the P.A. system I would hold my breath and pray I did not hear these words:  "Will someone from the First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee group please come to the First Aid station?"  In January of 1996 I was sitting in the lodge at Winterplace Ski Resort in West Virginia, and I did hear those words.  I raced down to First Aid and was told that the Ski Patrol was bringing in one of my guys who appeared to be badly hurt.  He had no feeling in his legs.  I waited and prayed.

They arrived a few minutes later with Scott strapped to a back board.  They took him in to see the medical staff as one of the Ski Patrol explained to me that he had taken a bad fall, and when they arrived he reported that he had no feeling in his legs or feet.  An ambulance had already been called to take him to the local hospital.  It looked bad.  As they examined Scott, I noticed that he kept changing his answers to some of the questions they were asking him.  I also noticed an occasional smile passing across his face.  I hated myself for doing it, but I found myself doubting whether he was actually hurt or not.  He had faked minor injuries before; perhaps he was just seeking attention again.  I kept my thoughts to myself until it was almost time to transfer him to the ambulance.  I pulled one of the medics aside and shared my doubts with him; he looked at me like I had lost my mind.  But he also thought it was worth checking.  They had removed Scott's ski boots and socks, and as the medic walked by the stretcher Scott was on he let his hand brush the bottom of Scott's bare foot.  His leg immediately jerked.  The medic turned and looked at me with a "You have GOT to be kidding" sort of look, and then walked away.  They had to take him to the hospital at this point, and I went with him.  The doctors there found absolutely nothing wrong with him, but they gave him a neck brace (again, see picture) to comfort him and to make sure he got attention from his friends.  It may have also been to keep me from strangling him...

Youth Ministry is a lot like the First Aid station at a ski resort.  We seek to make a difference in the lives of teenagers in a very short period of time, sometimes without knowing all the facts.  Often we can only apply emotional and spiritual band-aids,  when in fact surgery is probably needed.  When student ministry is done correctly- with love and compassion in the name of Jesus- those band-aids can help stop the bleeding and help our youth survive the stressful teenage years.  They can encourage students to discover their worth and their identities.  Sometimes we can't (or don't) do enough.  But sometimes, like in the case of Scott, the youth and the youth leaders keep giving love no matter what the person has done.  That is God's grace.  That is when youth ministry works.  Those are the moments that make me proud to have been a youth pastor for 28 years.  So Scott, where ever you are today, we love you dude!  I only hope you have as many fond memories of us as we have of you, and that some of those band-aids stuck...

Because of Jesus,

"Sometimes People Die"

One of my favorite memories of my Kissimmee days took place on a Ski Trip to Boone, NC.  We were blessed over the years to never have anyone seriously injured on the slopes (we did have one major fake injury, but that is another story).  But on this particular adventure we had to take Jennifer (Bob) Minnigan (pictured) to the emergency room  This is the story of that night.

One evening we had returned from skiing and dinner to our chalet-style motel on the outskirts of Boone, and there was time to kill while we waited for our scheduled time in the group room.  We were planning a time of worship together.  At some point during the down time, a small but violent wrestling match broke out between Connor Lewis (pictured) and Jennifer. The details of the event have always been a bit sketchy, but it is my belief that at some point Connor picked Bob up and body slammed her (OK, not really, but it makes the story better)!  In any case, Jennifer's arm was hurt badly enough that they came and got me, I got Dr. Jill Painter, and together we decided she needed to got to the hospital.  I got directions while Jill grabbed our fearless bus drivers, David Johns and Vern Watson.  Even though only three of us needed to go, the bus was our only means of transportation.  I have often wondered what the emergency room staff thought when they saw a 60 passenger bus pull up to the front door that night...

We went inside and begin to check Jennifer in, and things continued to be interesting.  I pulled out the medical release form that all youth pastors have had students fill out since the dawn of time and presented it to the lady at the desk, proving to her that I had the right to secure medical attention for Jen.  She looked at it, laughed at me, and proceeded to explain that those release forms are not worth the paper they are printed on.  So we moved on to the next thing, calling Jennifer's mom to let her give the doctors permission.  From my end, hearing only Jen, the conversation sounded something like this:  "Mom, we are at the emergency room...No, the skiing was great...I got hurt at the motel....horseplay."  She failed to mention the body slam.  In any case, with Bob now signed in, it was time to wait.  There were several people there, mostly with ski injuries.  There was a rack of pamphlets on dealing with tragedy in the waiting area, and we picked a few up to read.  Dave and Vern had joined us by this time, and as we all settled in for the wait we began to look at a pamphlet entitled What To Say To Your Children When Their Friends Are Sick.  We opened to the first page and read the words of wisdom that I have quoted so many times since.  It read, "You should prepare your children for the worst.  When their friends are sick, inform them that sometimes people die."  And right there, in the middle of sick and injured people, the five of us began to laugh uncontrollably.  We couldn't stop.  We kept thinking of scenarios in which a child had their tonsils out or broke a nail and their friends were told "Sometimes people die."  After Jennifer left us and went back for x-rays we continued to laugh and make fun of this booklet.  They gave her a clean bill of health (her arm was actually fractured, but no one in Boone ever told us that) and we hopped back on our bus and headed back to our waiting group.

On our way back we (OK, I) devised a plan to shake Connor up a little bit.  They group was waiting in the group room, but Connor was out waiting for the bus.  He was truly concerned for Jennifer's welfare.  As we pulled up we had Jen hide, and I got off the bus and went to Connor.  With my most serious look, I told him that it was pretty bad.  I told him Bob had not done well.  And then, without a trace of a smile, I told him "Connor- sometimes people die!"  For just an instant, his face and body language told me he was buying it.  That was more than we could take, and we all started laughing and Jennifer came out and gave him a hug.  Yes, I know it was cruel; I also know it was hilarious!  We then went in and had a time of worship together, full of a new knowledge of how much we cared about each other.  It was a great night.

Jennifer is already in my Hall of Fame, and Connor will join her soon.  I have been telling this story for years, and in fact, the last time I told it I was with Jennifer as we told her husband.  I am so glad I was there that night, so that I have the skills to deal with my son Will when his friends are sick.  I take his hand, look him in the eyes and say, "Will...sometimes people die."  Feel free to use this in your own life, but don't be surprised when people laugh!

Because of Jesus,

"The Guy With the Bus"

Sometimes you can become famous (or infamous) for a story that you had very little to do with.  This is one such story.

We took a Ski Trip from Kissimmee to the mountains of West Virginia, North Carolina or Virginia every year from 1995-2000.  To be completely honest, they all run together a bit and it is hard to remember what happened on any given trip.  I am not at all certain that the picture above is from the same trip as the story below.  But I am certain that what you are about to read is true, even if it does sound like the plot from a terrible made-for-TV movie!

Our adventure begins in Princeton, WV, where we had arrived the day before after an all-night bus ride.  We would be skiing at Winterplace, located about 8 miles north of our motel.  All of our arrangements for the trip had been made through a company called Carolina Tours, a group that we had a very positive history with.  A year or two before their representative Robert had saved our trip by moving the entire excursion from Boone, NC to Winterplace at the last minute- because Boone had no snow.  This year we had a different problem.  It was brutally cold.  We were warned about what the wind and cold up on the mountain could do our skin and our health.  We were warned to stay out for short runs and then visit the lodge often.  We were not warned about what the intense cold would do to a Floridian bus!   When we woke up and loaded the bus on our first day of skiing, our fearless drivers Dave and Vern were trying to warm the bus for us, but it just wasn't working.  As we left the motel and tried to merge on to I-77, we discovered the heater was not the only problem we had.  We couldn't accelerate.  We moved onto the highway doing a robust 8 miles per hour.  Dave pulled the bus over to the side of the road, hoping that letting it sit and run would thaw out the diesel fuel and get us going.  It didn't.  We continued on, and everyone on the bus was freezing.  Our pace continued until we had to climb our first major hill, and the bus almost stopped moving.  We once again pulled over to see if we could thaw out;  Vern left the bus and went to the woods by the roadside to relieve himself.  He came back explaining how peeing outdoors in 10 degree weather was not a good idea!  It took us over an hour and a half to drive the 8 miles to Winterplace that morning, but we got there.  And we skied and had a great time, I am sure.  But the fun was just beginning.

While the group was out on the mountain, Dave and Vern were talking to professional bus drivers who had driven to Winterplace that day about fixing our problem.  They were told to add a very small amount of kerosene to the fuel mixture, and that this would help the diesel move through the engine more freely.  They took the bus down to a gas station and added the kerosene, and drove back up- but they couldn't feel any difference.  When we left Winterplace late that afternoon, the bus was a bit better but still very sluggish.  As we headed south on I-77 to our motel, we felt a sudden jolt, and almost instantly we were moving at full speed again.  The kerosene had worked, and all was right with our world!

About the same time,  Erin Augenblick yelled to me from her seat in the back of the bus that she thought she saw fire behind the bus.  No one else had seen anything, and we were finally moving again, so we just ignored Erin.  In fact, I beleive we made fun of Erin.  A few moments later we arrived back at our motel, and as the bus doors opened an SUV pulled up next to us and out jumped Robert, our Carolina Tours friend.  He looked panicked about something, and began asking me if I had seen "them."  I am sure I looked confused, so he began to explain.  He had been behind us coming up the interstate, and had seen an amazing thing.  When the kerosene kicked in, we not only gained speed, but we began shooting flames out of our tailpipe.  Not just one or two, but a series of five foot long streams of fire. He could see the fear in the faces of the other drivers on the road.   We became a rolling flame thrower!  And all we could do was thank God that no one was injured.

The bus was just fine the following day, and we headed back up to the mountain for some more skiing.  When we arrived and entered the lodge to claim our tables for the day, there was a buzz.  People were pointing at me.  I could hear the murmurs; "That's the guy with the bus!"  Robert had shared out story, and it had instantly become legendary.  I returned to Winterplace a number of times and with several different churches after that, and every time someone would remember that I was "the guy with the bus."  I guess it is good to have a legacy...even if the legacy is a flame-throwing bus!!!

The moral of this story is, of course, NEVER doubt Erin Augenblick!  I'll see you here tomorrow for a tale of Nair.

Because of Jesus,