Saturday Shout Outs!

Also Pictured:  Marie Allen, Ashley Goad, Carrie Burton
 Ryan Simmons & Natalie Whitaker

Today my Shout Outs! begin with a special holler at Springfield Friends Meeting in High Point, NC.  This morning at 10 AM there is a memorial service for Max Rees, who passed away on October 25th.   So many people had their lives touched by that great man of God, and Marilyn and I are saddened that we cannot be there today for this time of remembrance.  I find myself missing all of those folks so much this week- especially Max's grandchildren who were such an important part of the student ministry there from 1986-1994.  In the classic picture you see above there are several members of the Rees clan, including Stacy Gilbreth, Beth Brown, Mary Mercadante, David Mercadante and Ben Moran.  I love and miss all of my old SFM family, and my thoughts and prayers are certainly with you all this morning.  But I do have a few other things to shout about as well...

• Happy Birthday today to Kelly Jeck Trace and tomorrow to Jerry Hanbery (both FUMC-Kissimmee.  Kelly is 26.  Jerry is not.  :)
• Congratulations to Lindsey Joiner Bennett (FUMC-K) and her hubby Stephen, who became the proud parents of baby Oliver on October 18th.  He weighed 7.4 pounds and was 20 inches long.  Everyone is doing great!  In other baby related news, the Kissimmee crowd just continues to procreate!  Among the couples currently expecting are Jerry & Melissa Hanbery, Todd & Kristin Willis, Nate & Amanda Hill and Jacob Lupfer and his wife Cara.   If all of the old FUMC-K gang still lived in one place the church would have to add on to the nursery!  
• Had long phone conversations over the past couple of weeks with Ashley Goad Broadhurst (SFM) and Teresa Reep Tysinger (FUMC-K) that shared one thing in common- neither were long enough!  :)  I would love to be able to have those kinds of chats with all of my former youth- so call me!  Email me for my number!
• I have to sneak in one of my favorite stories that Max Rees used to tell.  He got a golfing lesson at a church auction one time, and went to take his lesson with a local course pro.  At the end of the lesson Max asked the pro what he thought about his golfing skills.  The pro responded that he thought Max should take one more lesson- and then quit.  When Max asked why the pro said, "Because no one should quit when they are this bad!"  Classic Max...
• Because I know you all care (LOL), Game 6 of this year's World Series (played Thursday night) ranks #3 on my list of all-time great WS games, behind Game 6 of the 1975 Reds-Red Sox series and Game 7 of the 1991 Braves-Twins series.  And congratulations to the Cardinals for winning it all.
• Ben Thompson (FUMC-K) is engaged.  More details to come!
• Laurie Rees (another of Max's grandchildren) sent me a really nice note about my blogs this week, as did her brother Will and her mother Judy.  I love that family, and it meant so much to hear from them.  Here'a quick note about Laurie- she was one of the prettiest girls I ever had in any of my youth groups, and she is now involved in Roller Derby.  YES- Roller Derby!  How cool is that?  I have got to get back to North Carolina!!!!
• And finally- if you are planning on coming to Tampa for Thanksgiving, I need to know now.  Space in the house is filling up fast, and I need to know how much SPAM to buy!  :)  

That's it for now.  Hope you have a blessed day and better tomorrow!

Because of Jesus,

Remembering Max

Max & I

Today I want to remember one of the most special men I have ever known.  I knew that I was going to write about someone who had been a spiritual influence and inspiration in my life as part of the Blog Challenge, and when I received word from my dear friend and former secretary boss Millie Simmons that my friend, pastor and mentor Max Rees had passed away I knew who I would write about.  I served under Max as Director of Youth & Christian Education at Springfield Friends Meeting from 1986-1994.  Max had a remarkable influence on so many, and today I remember the love and faith of his wife Avis, his children Bob, Barbara, Tom, Margaret, Rachel, Becky and Cathy and the impact they had on my life.  Some of this appeared previously on this blog under the title Influences: Max Rees.


When Marilyn and I arrived at SFM in 1986, Max Rees had already been there over 2o years.  The Meeting was coming out of a very difficult time.   Attendance was down, and so was enthusiasm.  But Max did not waiver in his faith in God or in the people of Springfield.  And his wife Avis was just as strong.  Both of them were of great encouragement to Marilyn and I, and we worked as a team to help bring Springfield back.

Max had a classic preacher's voice and total command of a pulpit.  My dear friend Patsy Hill once told me that "when Max doesn't preach it's like a PTA meeting instead of church."  Unfortunately, she said that right after I had filled in for him! (HA!)  He visited the area hospitals every day; he visited people in their homes on a regular basis as well.  I not only worked along side him for those 8 years, but Marilyn and I lived across the street from them during that time as well.  He and Avis called the police and kept our home from being robbed one Christmas Eve.  He had a great sense of humor.  I remember one morning, after he had been in a very difficult discussion with one of his daughters, sitting across from him as he looked at me with a straight face and said, "Carl, women are not our kind of people."  He had a witty comment for most every occasion, but was never silly.  And perhaps most importantly, he trusted me with guiding his grandchildren by encouraging their participation in our youth ministry.  Jon, Stacy, Laurie, Mike, Beth, Ben, Jill, Allison, Mary, Erin, Will and David were the heart of our student ministry, and I love them all.  He welcomed us into his home from the very beginning, and his family became our family.  To read more about that you can visit another vintage post, Sunday Dinner.  

That is not to say that Max & Avis were perfect.  They had been there a very long time and had many preconceived notions of how everything should be done. They were in bed by "Quaker Midnight" (10pm) and up before the sun.  Avis never threw anything away, so we had Sunday School materials dating back to the Ice Age!  Max often disappeared in the afternoons to go feed his cows.  These were minor flaws.  The fact is, they gave their lives each and every day to serve the people of Springfield, and in doing so set a standard for me to live up to.  Through blessed times and struggles their faith did not waiver, and their love for God, for each other, for their family and for their "flock" never changed.  They were indeed the "First Family" of Springfield.


The late Rich Mullins wrote a song about his family in 1989 called First Family, from his album Never Picture Perfect.  In the early 90's I rewrote part of it to fit the Rees family, planning to sing it when Max retired.  He was still going strong when I left in 1994, so I never performed it.  But I would like to share the words now.  They don't all fit perfectly- and some of it is how I imagine things might have been- but they express how I see Max and Avis...

Those folks they were always the first family to arrive

with 9 people jammed into a car that seated 5

With one bathroom to bathe and shave in eight of 'em stood in line

There was no hot water for laundry, but they all did just fine

Talk about your miracles, talk about your faith

Max, he could make things grow out of Indiana clay

and Avis could make a gourmet meal out of homemade bread and beans

They worked to give faith hands and feet, and somehow gave it wings

I can still hear Max fussing, he's working late on on the farm

the cows are out of the fence again and the tractor just won't start

and Avis is doing laundry, I can see it waving on the line

They just counted on Jesus through the pain and strain of hard times

Talk about your miracles, talk about your faith

Max, he could make things grow out of Carolina clay

and Avis could make a gourmet meal out of pecan pie and beans

They worked to give faith hands and feet, and somehow gave it wings

Somehow they raised 7 children, and you know that some things went wrong

but the pain didn't leave them crippled, and the scars just made them strong

Never picture perfect, just a preacher man and his wife

who somehow knew the value of hard work, good love and real life

Talk about your miracles, talk about your faith...

Max has now joined the "great cloud of witnesses" I heard him preach about so often.  He will be missed by his 7 children who called him Daddy; by his over 20 grandchildren who called him Papa; and by hundreds of friends who knew who him simply as Max.  His life inspired me to want to be more like Jesus by being more like him.  There is no higher compliment.  My prayers are with the family- we love and miss you all.

Because of Jesus,

"You'd Have To Be Shocking Crazy..."

I was on a Tampa city bus this past Wednesday morning when I overheard a very loud conversation between two adults seated a few rows behind me.  Many of you know that I am no prude when it comes to language (although I seldom curse) but this was a bit over-the-top, even for me.  At nearly every place in their conversation where one would normally expect to find an adjective, noun, verb or an adverb you instead heard an "F-Bomb."  You know the word- it starts with an "F" and doesn't rhyme with motorcycle.  My Dad used to tell me that people who swear a lot are simply showing off how small their vocabulary actually is, and I thought about that as I listened.  I also thought about how in this day and time the "F-Bomb" has not only replaced real words, it has replaced other cuss words. It's no longer, "and then he ate the whole da*n thing," it's "and then he ate the whole F-Bomb thing."  It's no longer "WTH," it's now "WTF."  It used to be that "F-Bombs" had some shock value, but that is no longer really true.  They are too commonplace.  So as I sat and listened to what seems to be the most popular word in the English language, I began to contemplate how ridiculous it is that this foul four letter verb is now a substitute for so many things.  I wondered what it might sound like if we took another verb, one that is actually in the dictionary, and used it in the same manner.  For obvious reasons I chose the word "Shock."  Here is what one side of the conversation I was forced to hear would have sounded like had the guy been enlightened enough to use my word instead of his...

"Shock- you wouldn't believe the shocking *crap* I saw yesterday at the shocking doctor's office.  This shocking woman came in with a little baby- I mean shock, it couldn't have been more than 10 shocking months old.  It was crying like a shocking wolf or something, and she could not get it to shut the shock up.  I was just about to get the shock out of there when she shocking slapped the baby on it's tummy trying to make it shocking shut up. I thought, 'Shock this, I'm shocking outta here.'  But shock...it just kept getting shocking louder.  She finally laid the little shocker down on the shocking table and gave it a shocking bottle so it finally shut the shock up..."

Sounds pretty ridiculous, doesn't it?  The word (either of them) makes absolutely no sense in any of the contexts it is used in based on its' actual meaning.  And yet most of us hear the "F-Bomb" used that way nearly every day, either in life or in a book. movie or song.  It's just the way it is.  How did we get there?  How does something once seen as so foul and so evil become so acceptable?  That is the big question...

When I served at Springfield Friends Meeting (1986-1994) our pastor, Max Rees, had some cows he kept in a pasture about 30 minutes away from the church.  Those cows constantly got outside the fence designed to keep them in, and they often wandered across the road to find new grass.  It was very dangerous behavior.  I once asked Max why they kept trying to escape, and he shared the following information- cows don't mean to leave their pasture.  They just want to eat.  They wander from one tuft of grass to another seeking food, and if that leads them away from their pasture and into danger, so be it.  They don't mean to get lost.  They just nibble their way to "lostness."

Sin is the same way.  We often don't start off meaning to sin.  But we do...and then we nibble on the next sin.  And the next.  Until before long we are lost.  Same way with the F-Bombs.  People use them on occasion.  Then on more occasions.  Then it becomes their word of choice.  We nibble our way to "lostness."  But the good news is this- just like Max always went to rescue his cows, Jesus is always there to save us.  No matter how lost we get, his amazing grace brings us back to the pasture, where we are once again safe and loved.  This I know from personal experience- I have been so lost that I couldn't have found my own way back with a Hummer and a GPS.  I can't imagine living life without a Good Shepherd (or in this case, Good Cowboy) to watch over me.  It amazes me that some people, even knowing their options, choose guilt and condemnation over love and grace.  They prefer "lostness" to being found by the Savior.  They chose to live life without Jesus.  Wow.  I just can't imagine.  I think you'd have to be shocking crazy...

Because of Jesus,

Random Ramblings (Springfield Edition)

As my blogging about my years at Springfield Friends Meeting (SFM) draws to a close this week, I have a lot of random thoughts from those years that don't quite merit a post of their own.  I will share many of them with you today, so just jump in and hold on!  And as always I would love to hear your comments and stories- e-mail me!

• I loved going to sporting events and seeing the youth play (in return they got to watch me play for the always entertaining SFM softball team each spring).  I always got into the games and became just another idiot fan pulling hard for "my" team, no matter which of our high schools or middle schools was playing or which team our kids were cheerleaders for.  Thanks to the Moran family I even learned to appreciate (be it ever so slightly!) soccer.  Perhaps the most exciting sporting event I have ever seen in person (and I have seen a lot) was watching Jeremy Godwin (pictured at right with Jennifer Simmons) win the NC state heavyweight wrestling championship his senior year at the Greensboro Coliseum.  Jeremy was loosing with just seconds to go in the match, when suddenly he escaped, flipped his opponent over and pinned him!  It was just simply amazing.
• In December of 1987 we had the first ever Friend Day at SFM, and the meeting room was packed!  It marked the beginning of a new enthusiasm and new spirit of outreach for the Meeting.  I think they still do the event.
• During my time at SFM we hosted a number of youth events for North Carolina Yearly Meeting, including Saturdaze '89.  We had groups from all over the state come in and we had a great program including Doyle Craven in The Orkrah Wimpy Show. 
• Speaking of Doyle...his leadership and faithfulness inspired me in so many ways during his tenure at the Yearly Meeting youth director, and to this day I still consider him to be one of the best youth pastors I have ever known.  His "career" in ministry ended when he announced he was gay.  Shortly thereafter, a "witch hunt" began in NCYM and anyone who had been close to Doyle was at the top of the list.  One of the most surreal moments of my life was the day Max Rees called me into his office to ask me if I was gay...I wasn't, by the way.  Not that there's anything wrong with that...

• I had two official college-age interns during while at SFM.  Tim Fountain, who had been in my youth group at New Garden Friends (and is pictured, on the left with Amy Simmons, Todd Farlow and myself) and Rebecca Howard of Quaker Lake fame.  They were both awesome, and they paved the way for the coming of Jerry Hanbery once I reached Kissimmee!
• On September 13, 1993 we changed the name of our TNT program to MARS (Mondays are Really Special?).  I have no idea why...but everyone who showed up was given a Mars candy bar!
• While serving SFM I worked with Youth Specialties on promoting a National Resource Seminar and and Understanding Your Teenager workshop, both of which we hosted.  I also was published as an author for the first times, writing articles for GROUP Magazine and Quaker Life Magazine.  I also wrote a chapter for a GROUP curriculum aimed at 4th and 5th grade students, and I actually got paid for it!  All of these things helped me establish a reputation outside of NCYM.
• Most of the posts about my Springfield years have been about the things that worked.  I could do another 100 posts talking about the things that didn't, or that didn't work for long.  We tried 10 different ways of starting small groups that never took off.  We kept trying new ways to get students more involved in leadership, but that never really happened.  I planned three small-scale mission trips that no one ever signed up to attend.  But the important thing was that we kept trying new things...
• We did 8 Youth Sunday worship services while I was at SFM, and each of them was moving and well received...at least they were after the first one.  I went on a rant at Monthly Meeting about how the youth were not just cute and sweet and the church of the future, but how they had important things to say and were a part of the church NOW!  Never heard any of that cute and sweet stuff again...
• I got to preach a couple of times a year when Max was away, and here are a few of my sermon titles from those years:  We Didn't Start the Fire, I Won't Back Down, The Heart of the Matter and I Go To Extremes.  Anyone see a theme there? 
• Marilyn and I were both in the choir and got to work with three wonderful choir directors- Brenda Haworth, Laurel Zeiss and Bob Spencer. Laurel taught us what became the official anthem of the church, In This Very Room. Mel Downing had been the organist for nearly 30 years before we arrived and remained in that position until his passing last year.  He was a Springfield institution.  One of my all-time favorite lines came from Brenda's husband, noted neurosurgeon Chester Haworth.  When Brenda asked the choir what we should do to honor Mel for 30 years of service, Chester responded "I think we should bronze his organ..."   I am still laughing!

There are so many memories, so many stories to be told from those years- but it's time to start wrapping it up.  My service to SFM ended with a bang, not a whimper, and the stories of how it all came to be are coming in the next few days.  Enjoy!

Because of Jesus,

Influences: Max Rees

It was a true blessing in my career to work with some incredible Senior Pastors (and some real duds!).  The character and devotion to Christ of your leader has a huge impact on all aspects of a church, including the student ministry.  When Marilyn and I arrived at Springfield Friends Meeting in 1986, Max Rees  had already been there over 2o years.  The Meeting was coming out of a very difficult time, and many people had chosen sides between the departed Wallace Sills and Max.  Attendance was down, and so was enthusiasm.  But Max did not waiver in his faith in God or in the people of Springfield.  And his wife Avis was just as strong.  Both of them were of great encouragement to Marilyn and me, and we worked as a team to help bring Springfield back.

That is not to say that they were perfect.  They had been there a very long time and had many preconceived notions of how everything should be done. They were in bed by "Quaker Midnight" (10pm) and up before the sun.  Avis never threw anything away, so we had Sunday School materials dating back to the Ice Age!  She also made me wear a bunny suit one Easter (pictured above).  Max often disappeared in the afternoons to go feed his cows.  These were minor flaws.  The fact is, they gave their lives each and every day to serve the people of Springfield, and in doing so set a standard for me to live up to.  Through blessed times and struggles their faith did not waiver, and their love for God, for each other, for their family and for their "flock" never changed.  They were indeed the "First Family" of Springfield.

The late Rich Mullins wrote a song about his family in 1989 called First Family, from his album Never Picture Perfect.  In the early 90's I rewrote part of it to fit the Rees family, planning to sing it when Max retired.  He was still going strong when I left in 1994, so I never performed it.  But I would like to share the words now.  They don't all fit perfectly- and some of it is how I imagine things to have been- but they express how I see Max and Avis...

Those folks they were always the first family to arrive

with 9 people jammed into a car that seated 5

With one bathroom to bathe and shave in eight of 'em stood in line

There was no hot water for laundry, but they all did just fine

Talk about your miracles, talk about your faith

Max, he could make things grow out of Indiana clay

and Avis could make a gourmet meal out of homemade bread and beans

They worked to give faith hands and feet, and somehow gave it wings

I can still hear Max fussing, he's working late on on the farm

the cows are out of the fence again and the tractor just won't start

and Avis is doing laundry, I can see it waving on the line

They just counted on Jesus through the pain and strain of hard times

Talk about your miracles, talk about your faith

Max, he could make things grow out of Carolina clay

and Avis could make a gourmet meal out of pecan pie and beans

They worked to give faith hands and feet, and somehow gave it wings

Somehow they raised 7 children, and you know that some things went wrong

but the pain didn't leave them crippled, and the scars just made them strong

Never picture perfect, just a preacher man and his wife

who somehow knew the value of hard work, good love and real life

Talk about your miracles, talk about your faith...

Thank you, Max and Avis, for giving the faith of so many so much encouragement for so many years.  You and your family will forever hold a special place in my heart.  And thanks, Rich.  I know the angels are singing your songs these days...

Because of Jesus,

A New Adventure

Our honeymoon was awesome. We loved the cruise, the food, the beaches and Disney World.  We also loved the sleeping, because we had been so incredibly stressed about the future in the days leading up to the wedding.  We returned from our honeymoon ready to get started on our new adventure at Springfield Friends Meeting, but first, there was still a lot of stuff to do.  My first official day would be October 1st, so we had to move quickly (In a very cool coincidence, my old Quaker Lake buddy and groomsman Terry Venable would start as the Youth Pastor at High Point Friends Meeting on the same day.  Go God!).  Marilyn's stuff was one place; my stuff was still in Massachusetts.  There was also the small matter of my resignation.  I didn't want to tell NEYM I was leaving until I was absolutely sure, and because of the type of job it was, I really saw no need in working out a notice.  I called the proper people (a few of whom knew what was going on) and let them know for sure- I was the new Youth and Christian Education Director at Springfield Friends Meeting.  And they should hire Chris Jorgensen- NOW!

I mentioned moving into the rental house in Greensboro, about a 30 minute drive from Springfield.  We were going to live there until early 1987 while the house that Springfield was providing for us was repaired. Renovated.  Rebuilt.  Saved...   When Marilyn first saw the house at 600 E. Springfield Road she swore whe would never live there!  It was small, beat up, not air conditioned, oil heated and very old.  All of the windows were painted shut.  When you stood at the front door you saw directly into the bathroom.  The previous tenant, a custodian and lawn care guy, had made some interesting decorating choices.  The bedrooms had been wallpapered with pictures of naked women.  The pictures were gone by the time we saw the house, but the staples were still in the walls.  The outside walls needed to be covered in siding. It sat on a very dangerous curve.  If you had told us that day that we would live in that house for over seven years, we would have paid for your counseling!

I made one last trip to Massachusetts to get my car and my stuff.  My friend Mark Hyde joined me, and we drove a truck and pulled my car back to NC.  This was an adventure as well.  We discovered that since we were towing my Renault, we were not allowed on the New Jersey Turnpike.  This meant we had to drive back roads through the entire state.  In one little town we got our big truck into a traffic circle- we didn't have traffic circles in NC- and could not get out.  We went around and around, not able to get into the lane we needed, until finally Mark just stopped traffic so we could move on!  Friends like that are hard to find...

We settled into our new (albeit temporary) housing and began life together.  Marilyn was still working for a law firm in Greensboro, and I was setting up my office, meeting people, and getting ready for opening day at Springfield.  The pastor, Max Rees, and his wife Avis were so helpful in getting us started.  They would soon be our across-the-street neighbors.  Avis invited Marilyn and I to join them for Sunday lunch very early on, and we accepted.  I am here to tell you, Sunday lunch with the Rees family can change your life...in a most blessed way!  And since I am here to tell you, tomorrow I will!

Because of Jesus,