Today's post first appeared on this blog in April of 2011. I share it again on this Flashback Friday because there have been several things on Twitter in the past week that made me want to rant on this topic again. So why reinvent the wheel, right? Enjoy, and have a great weekend!
On the classic 1970's TV sit-com Happy Days, Richie Cunningham (played by Ron Howard) was a clean cut, all-American boy living in the late 1950s and early 60s. He never used any language that would be considered "foul" by our standards today. But when he would get angry, he would call someone a "Bucko." As in, "Listen, Bucko- you can't talk like that to my girl!" There was a girl in my very first youth group-Glenna Osborne- who used to call me a Bucko all the time. In fact, when I moved on from that church they made me a wooden sign (Remember wood-burning kits? Probably not...) honoring me with the first and only Bucko Award.
I have kept this silly thing all of these years because I found it to be hilarious- and more than a little accurate. I was an 18 year old college sophomore when I started with that group and had no idea what I was doing. My efforts were often futile and we didn't accomplish much- except for growing together and loving each other in Jesus'name. But the important part of the award is the last line- "Thanks for being someone we can look up to and laugh at!!!!"
Therein lies today's archaeological dig.
I read a blog this past week that very proudly pointed out the the United Methodist Church quit using the abbreviation UMYF (United Methodist Youth Fellowship) for their student ministries a number of years ago. They discontinued the "F." They felt like "fellowship" sounded a little too light and fluffy for the way they wanted their youth ministries to be seen. It sounded too much like pizza parties, beach trips and lock-ins. Well in the words of my old Quaker Lake Camp buddy Michael McGuinn,"Puhhhleeeeesssseee!!!" Someone really decided that too much fellowship is the issue in student ministry? Someone really believes that too much fellowship is the reason teenagers leave the church after graduation and never come back? As I warned my Twitter followers on Tuesday night, I feel a rant coming on...
I am not sure where I first heard it, but someone once said, "Show me a youth pastor with no sense of humor, and I'll show you an empty youth room." I'll go a step farther- show me a youth pastor who can't laugh at her/himself and I'll show you someone who is not being authentic. They are on their way to becoming a Pharisee. It's like someone decided there is an 11th commandment that states, "Christians shalt not haveth funeth"- or something like that! Certainly we need to take seriously the things Jesus taught. Certainly we need to be serious about loving one another and serving "the least of these." Certainly we need to think seriously about the condition of our soul and our eternal salvation. But when did it become some sort of bizarre doctrine to take ourselves so seriously? It is my belief (and I can say this because I have lived it) that far too many of us who work with youth seek to fool them into believing we are more "together" than we actually are. We are all Buckos- we are all sinners. Students don't need false perfect examples- they need authentic women and men of God who acknowledge their failures and know how to be humble and to laugh at themselves. How can we possibly teach them about grace if we keep pretending we don't need it?
Which beings us back to fellowship (For a definition, read Acts 2:42. And yes, I know I sound like a broken record!~). A youth pastor friend responded to my tweet about fellowship the other night by saying that some people he knew seemed to want to count "just hanging out" with students as part of their ministry. He wasn't certain that just being with students is a legitimate ministry. OF COURSE IT IS! Fellowship, hanging out, sharing one another's stories, creating a shared history- all of these things build the kind of Christian community that allow us to do great things in Jesus' name. What do you think Jesus and the disciples did during the hours that are not chronicled in the Gospels? They went fishing, sat around the campfire and ordered unleavened bread with tomato sauce from Papa Joseph's. They hung out! Had they not spent 3 years building bonds of friendship and trust, do you really think that group of ragamuffins would have been ready to turn the world upside down after Jesus ascended? Would the early church have spread like wildfire without a commitment to sharing life together? And I have to think that included in all of that time of fellowship was the ability to laugh with and at one another. I can't imagine that they didn't give Thomas a hard time every time he said, "I doubt it." I can't believe they didn't give Peter "the business" every time a rooster crowed. Ted & Lee used to do this great scene from their show Fisheyes in which Peter and Andrew are lamenting how confusing Jesus could be, whether in his parables, his affection for random questions, or his doodling in the dirt. It was hysterical to think about. They laughed at themselves for not getting it- and we should be able to do the same. Because the LORD knows there are plenty of times when we don't get it...
Everyone who does ministry must make prayerful decisions about what God is leading them to do in their specific situation. I just know that looking back on 28 years (1978-2007) of youth ministry and hearing almost daily from former students (in part because of this blog) that there is nothing we did - not mission trips, not worship services, not bible studies, not anything- that has had a more lasting impact on their lives than the fellowship and laughter we shared together in Jesus' name. I'm proud I was a Bucko for all of those years. I'm glad I was someone they could look up to and laugh at. Will your students remember you in 10 years because you could plan great events & teach a great class, or because you loved them enough (1 Thessalonians 2:8) to share life - authentic, failure-filled, laughter filled life- with them? It's a question worth asking. This isn't military intelligence. "Fellowship" and "Ministry" are not mutually exclusive... (That's a joke. If you didn't get it, try reading this post one more time... :D) Now go hang out with some people and start changing the world. In case you haven't heard, it's time for a Jesus Revolution!
Because of Jesus,
Today's youth ministry artifact is a compact disc. You know you are getting old when a CD is an artifact...
I first attended the Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention in 1982. I didn't return again until 1987, but from that point on I was a regular attendee until my final NYWC in 2006. And from '87 on, I always hoped that someday I could achieve the fame and status necessary to be asked to lead one of the seminars at the convention. (OK- full disclosure. My REAL dream was to be a General Session speaker on the main stage, but I had not written a book and had no significant "story" to tell in those days. Then my life fell apart, I lost my ministry- and now I have an awesome story to tell! Ironic, huh? So Mark Matlock & Tic Long, if you're listening, I'm ready!) Every few years I would mention to Yac or Tic that I had some ideas for seminars, but it just never worked out. Then shortly after attending the 2003 NYWC in Phoenix, I sent Tic an e-mail suggesting a couple of ideas for new seminars. My first choice was a pre-event seminar teaching newcomers how to make the most of the NYWC itself. My second idea was called Pagan Eye for the Christian Guy, a take-off on a popular TV show of the time. Much to my surprise, Tic wrote back almost immediately asking me to do the Pagan Eye seminar in Atlanta, 2004. I was thrilled. It was a dream come true. I was going to get paid to attend the NYWC. This was big time. Too awesome...
The seminar went very well. I actually had a pretty good crowd, and after some issues getting my laptop to talk to their projector, it went smoothly. The evaluations from the participants were quite kind, and I had hopes of being asked back someday. My later personal failures made that scenario highly unlikely. But that really didn't matter. The lesson I remember every time I look at or listen to the CD recorded in my seminar that day is this: It was the day-in, day-out relationships built with students over all of those years of ministry that brought me any status or fame that I ever achieved. And all of the glory for that goes to Jesus! Being a Minor Christian Celebrity is not all it is cracked up to be. It was a bit of a ego rush, and the CD is a great artifact. But the big deal is simply being a Youth Pastor. Take it from someone who lost that privilege; it is one of the greatest honors you can ever receive in life. Remember to be thankful for whatever ministry God has given you, and do it with passion. The only "Famous One" is Jesus...
OH...autographed copies of the CD are available from the gift shop. There's nothing wrong with a little bit of fame... :-)
Because of Jesus,
Today's artifact was discovered while digging through a box in my garage that was full of all kinds of discarded youth ministry items from my days at Springfield Friends Meeting (1986-1994). For those of you who may not recognize the item, it is something called a "Cassette Tape." It was a form of home recording technology that preceded digital recording by a couple of decades. While useful, using a tape recorder was quite tedious, especially if your were endeavouring to be creative with the recording process. Yet discovering this particular tape brought a smile to my face immediately, and reminded me of a few important things. Trust me when I tell you that this in indeed a RARE artifact...
By the Spring of 1989 the student ministry at SFM had truly taken off. Springfield was not a large church; the worship attendance rarely broke 200. We were not located "on the beaten path"- you had to be looking for us to find us. And yet between our Sunday evening youth fellowship and our Monday night TNT we were seeing 75-100 middle and high school students every week. It was amazing to watch God work through that ministry. As I began to plan for the summer of '89, I knew that we needed to do everything we could to keep the dozens of youth who did not attend our church on Sunday mornings involved. In fact, I was just crazy enough to believe that with prayer and hard work we could actually GROW during the summer. So that is exactly what we set out to do.
I began to put together a "Summer Packet" to mail to every student who had ever had any contact with our church or our youth ministry. I created a brochure (at right, complete with our cover boy Zed) with details of every thing that would go on that summer- and I did it without a computer. I put together a calendar they could put on the wall of their room or on the family refrigerator. All of this required a ton of work, because we had to do it all in house. Our TOTAL budget for YM in 1989 was $800. Just mailing the packets would stretch us. But I had one more idea, and it was a doozy. I ordered a bunch of cheap blank tapes, and began to bring in some our student leaders to record skits and messages for the tape. It was all to advertise our biggest outreach event of the summer, YOUTH WEEK. It included silly interviews, actual ads for events, and tons of youth-friendly music. We also made it as interactive as we could in those pre-computer days, so they could listen to certain skits and then call our HOTLINE to win prizes. It took me untold hours to record it and edit it, and then many more hours to make 150 copies to mail out. But mail them we did. They were a huge hit, and we had the first of a series of amazing summers.
So what's the lesson of this artifact? It's simple really- summers can be amazing times for student ministry, but you have to be willing to put in the work. Events must be special and creative, even knowing the crowds might be small. Programs must fit the needs of the students and depend on who can be there, not who won't be. Summers should say to the kids that you love them so much that you are going to help them fill those long, boring days that we all know happen in summer. You have to find creative ways to advertise what you are doing- and then you have to find more creative ways. You have to convince the youth of your community that they are missing wild, crazy, fantastic things (including spending time getting to know Jesus!) if they are missing your events and programs. All of that publicity is hard work- but so worth it. In fact, summers were my favorite times to be a youth pastor, because it was when we had time to build real relationships. Our theme for YOUTH WEEK in 1989 (and the first song on the tape) was Peter Wolf's Come As You Are. The chorus goes as follows: "Come as you are, now come on! Come as you are and we'll have a ball! Ain't gonna' be no masquerade (HOO-HOO), Come as you are or don't come at all!" We tried to live that message. And come they did...
Most of us who have ever worked in youth ministry complain at some point that we just don't get enough time with our students. I hope this artifact can serve as a reminder that it doesn't need to be that way. You may not do 75 Days of Summer like I often did, but I hope that whatever you do this summer, you will do it BIG! Your students deserve it- and so does our God.
Because of Jesus,
Today in my 600th consecutive day of blogging on this site, and I have to say I have never been more exhausted after writing a post than I was after writing yesterday's. Or more excited. If you missed Follow Jesus- I Dare Ya! then check it out. It may kick your butt just like it kicked mine...
So today's artifact comes with a mystery. You see, as keenly as I remember so many details from 30 years ago, I do not remember at all the exact how or why the Gumby you see pictured here came to be in my possession. I know it was the late 1980s, during my time at Springfield Friends Meeting, and I know that it was given to me by Shelley Godwin and Heather Beggs. I know that because their initials and a message- "Gumbys live forever!"- are on his tag. I also remember that it was Keri Vinson who first turned his rainbow colored belt into a hippie-style headband. But as far as details, that's all I've got.
So why even bring Gumby up today? Because his presence in my offices over the years always served as a reminder of something important. I have gone on and on here concerning the need to be intentional about building relationships with students and how important I believe that to be in student ministry. As our TNT program took off and we began to reach more and more students from the community, this became a real challenge at SFM. As incredible kids like Shelley and her twin brother Jeremy, Heather and Keri became involved in our ministry, I wanted to make sure we stayed connected and that they knew they were loved individually- not just because we liked having a large group. So I turned to one of my mentors, J. David Stone. He had written a book in 1985 for GROUP Books called Spiritual Growth in Youth Ministry, and one chapter contained a plan for a different type of outreach that would change my ministry forever- 24 Weeks of Caring.
The plan was so simple, yet totally brilliant. You would chose 4 groups of a specified (I eventually settled on 6 after trying 8) number of youth with whom you wanted to build a better relationship- a total of 24 students (using 6 per group- HA! I did math!). I would begin the program by sending all 24 teenagers a letter informing them that they had been chosen for this special event, and that nothing was required of them. It was just going to happen to them. Each group was given a designated communication category for a specific number of weeks (again I chose 6, so at 24 weeks I could do the program twice in a year.). For the first 6 weeks, I would pray every day for one group and send them a note each week reminding them that I was praying for them, and asking for prayer requests. During those same 6 weeks I would give the members of the second group a phone call once a week. The third group received a weekly personalized post card in which I said nothing about our youth ministry- it was all about them. And the final group I promised to see once a week- outside of church. Sometimes it was over a milk shake, sometimes at school, sometimes at a community event. At the end of the first 6 weeks, you simply rotate the groups. When you complete the 24 weeks, you have connected every week with all 24 students in 4 different ways- and your relationship with all of them will be different...
Obviously it could be updated to fit today's high-tech culture, and you could use Facebook, Twitter, texting or e-mail to replace some of "mailing" that I did. The last time few times I did it I used e-mail instead of writing the post cards. No matter, the point remains the same- letting youth know they are important and they are loved- and that NONE of that is based on how many times they show up for church.
So why does Gumby remind me of this? I'm not sure I can explain it. But just maybe it's because that at Springfield we reached so many students whose families were not a part of that church, and because of efforts like the 24 Weeks of Caring they became a huge part of OUR family. I look at Gumby and remember that I have seldom had better relationships (or more fun) with students over the years than I had with Heather, Shelley, Keri, Jeremy and so many other TNT survivors. Gumby reminds me that praying for them is crucial. But he also reminds me that those kinds of relationships don't just happen- they require work. Even now that I am out of the professional ministry, it's still an awesome reminder. In fact, I could start up the program right now using blog readers and Twitter friends. Hmmm. Interested? :) See you tomorrow for Palm Sunday!
Because of Jesus,
On the classic 1970's TV sit-com Happy Days, Richie Cunningham (played by Ron Howard) was a clean cut, all-American boy living in the late 1950s and early 60s. He never used any language that would be considered "foul" by our standards today. But when he would get angry, he would call someone a "Bucko." As in, "Listen, Bucko- you can't talk like that to my girl!" There was a girl in my very first youth group- Glenna Osborne- who used to call me a Bucko all the time. In fact, when I moved on from that church they made me a wooden sign (Remember wood-burning kits? Probably not...), honoring me with the first and only Bucko Award.
Today's artifact comes from 1981. It's a poster that was distributed with the book, Catching the Rainbow: The Complete Youth Ministries Handbook, Vol. 2.
Professional student ministry was still in it's "toddler" stage when J. David Stone (see Influences) began touring the country with his team from Creative Youth Ministry Models in the late 70s with ideas from The Complete Youth Ministries Handbook- Vol. 1 (best book name EVER!) and changed my life and my ministry forever. When I first walked into a room as a youth pastor in 1978 I had absolutely no idea what I needed to be doing. By the time Dave and his gang were finished with me, I had a plan. And that plan was called Wholistic Youth Ministry. Wholistic is not a real word, but it was a great idea, and the grandfather of the purpose driven movement of the 1990s. The concept was simple. A youth ministry should minister to the whole teenager. You cannot separate the spiritual life of a student from her/his emotional, physical and social life and expect to have any true impact. We were challenged to implement programs and events that would seek to minister in each of these areas. That meant spending time with youth on their turf- home, school and places they hang out. It meant playing games, having fun and taking trips that allowed you to connect with the whole person. It meant celebrating the important days in the lives of your students and being there for the bad times. It meant a whole lot of work for a youth pastor and volunteers- but it was SO worth it! The problem was, far too many of us were still running around throwing random events at these different areas with no real plan. That's where the rainbow came in.
The rainbow offered up a three-track process to help us reach "the pot of gold" which was Koinonia- true Christian community as found in Acts 2:42. The first track was a Leadership Track called "The 4 Phases of Ease" that laid out a basic plan for training students and adult volunteers to help you with this mountain of ministry you were seeking to accomplish. You can read more about the 4 Phases by clicking here. Looking back now, the really cool thing about this process is that it is the way almost everyone does leadership training, but we never even know we are doing it. It was that practical.
The second band of the rainbow was an Education Process Track. Too many churches (and this is still true today) thought that if you put young people in a room and told them about Jesus you would build a youth group and discover Koinonia. The fact was and still is that community and relationships must be intentionally built. The 4 steps of the track walk you through the process. Teenagers come to your church from so many different cliques, backgrounds and social groups that it is often difficult for them to make new friends at youth. So we allow them the opportunity to tell their stories and build a shared history. Trips, parties, casual get-togethers and even the hated lock-in provide such opportunities- as long as we make certain the events are structured in such a way that sharing takes place not only with established friends but with new people as well. It is only after this step that students begin to be willing to risk trust, to set goals and to count on one another- and you. It was my experience that the further along this track you saw students move, the more they became willing to risk following Jesus. And that rocks.
The final track is the Theological Track, contributed to the rainbow by Dr. John Westerhoff, at the time a professor at Duke. It assumes that most students we work with are at various points of a spiritual journey, and that our task is not to give them our faith, but rather to help them take ownership of their own faith. To get there, we must allow students to question, doubt, explore and experience. This is scary. But if we really believe that Christianity is a life we lead and not just a creed we profess, then this track is hugely important.
So why is this artifact still meaningful? I believe it can serve as a reminder to youth pastors and churches everywhere. We live in a time of specialization. Churches are no different. Worship leaders are defined by the style of music they prefer. Pastors have particular preaching styles. Worship is emergent, traditional, contemporary or primitive, with seldom any crossover. And student ministry is going down that same road. Ministries are specializing. Some groups are all about service and worship. Others focus on bible study and theology. Some have abandoned "youth group" all-together in favor of a youth-only worship service (don't get me started- that's a whole different post). I just hope we remember our example- Jesus the Christ. He was seriously into Wholistic Ministry. He healed the sick (physical). He loved the unwanted (emotional). He ate dinner with those he wanted to connect with (social). He taught us a new way to live and to love (theological). And He died for us (service). So- youth pastors and those who love the church, hear me well- your students, first and foremost, need Jesus. They need to study scripture and pray for one another. They also need to laugh and play together. They need to sit with you and hear your stories and see how much you love your spouse. They need to share history together through trips and events that will stay in their minds a lifetime. They need to learn to serve "the least of these." They need to grow into a community that will love and support one another like an Acts 2:42 church should. And these things will only happen if you are intentional about seeing them happen. There is nothing- NOTHING- better to me than seeing a youth group reach Koinonia and watching them love Jesus, each other than the world.
So check yourselves. Are you being wholistic, or are you becoming a specialist? Is your ministry taking steps towards reaching the "pot of gold" that is true Christian community? I pray you are, and that these warnings are not needed. Don't make me write The Complete Youth Ministries Handbook, Vol. 3. I'd do a whole chapter on why churches should make lock-ins and beach trips mandatory... :)
Because of Jesus,
I was digging through some boxes the other day looking for something completely different when I came across this...
I am no longer in student ministry, but I still try to stay up-to-date on all the latest trends, techniques and resources. You don't spend 28 years of your life dedicated to a ministry and then just drop it. But let's face it- if I was still in youth work, I would be the proverbial old dog trying to keep up with the new tricks. I do think there are some "tricks" that are time-tested and worth hanging on to. Today, as a special service to those of you who may be working with teenagers in churches, I want to share 4 artifacts from the glory days of yester-year that impacted my ministry in a positive way- and still would today. If you were in any of my groups some of these will sound familiar I am sure. I still own most of these if you can't find them anywhere else...
