Remembering Lisa Ramos Moran

Lisa Ramos Moran was one of my oldest friends. We met through the youth group of New Garden Friends Meeting when we were both in junior high school (I am a year older) and have remained connected ever since. We shared so many experiences in high school, including my first trip to New York- a trip on which she met her eventual husband, Dan Moran. We used to greet each other in a most unusual way back in the day. I would greet her with "Ram it, Ramos!" She would respond with "Jam it, Jones!" And then we would hug. Today, friends and family from all over with gather at High Point Friends Meeting to say a final farewell to Lisa, who went to be with her God on Wednesday after to a long battle with pancreatic cancer. She has three grown children- Dani Shea, Alexander and Eli- and is married to her high school sweetheart-still her sweetheart- Dan. As this day arrived and I wanted to pay tribute to my old friend, words failed me. She touched so many lives. And then it came to me that my words were unnecessary- I had hers. Lisa wrote a guest post for this blog back in 2012 that says everything you need to know if you didn't know her- and everything you already knew if you did. I cannot be there in body today, but I am there is spirit. We love you Lisa, and someday, when we meet again on the streets of heaven, you know how I will greet you. And hearing "Jam it, Jones!" in return will once again be music to my ears.

My Best Day in Ministry: Flowers for Lisa

Luke 12:28 - If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? 

Carl and I go way back and I was so excited to be able to volunteer for this writing venture! 

Just like all of the other guest writers, I have had many good days in Youth ministry but when I decided to respond to Carl’s request a certain day just popped into my mind.  I feel a bit narcissistic because this story is all about me  …

Last summer, my friend, Sheila- the Youth Minister at First Friends – and I took a group of youth to Philadelphia. There were tweens and teens from both Meetings. I had 3 middle school girls and my youngest son, a rising college freshman. There were 7 youth from First Friends. It was more of an educational trip than a mission trip but God is good, all the time. Our mission, even if we didn’t put a name to it, was about learning love and strengthening bonds within our groups. That, too, can be important work.

We had a blast! We took the train, which was a brand new experience for most, and got to know each other quickly. We learned so much Quaker history, visiting various Meetings and historical sites. We worked with the American Friends Service Committee Office in Philly to make a video about peace. We laughed, ate Philly steak sandwiches and took a bus tour of the city. We walked with mostly beautiful weather above and took lots of pictures.

The last day we were to meet in the lobby, store our suitcases with the hotel staff and head on our last day’s adventures. As I headed to the Starbucks in the lobby (not much roughing it on this trip) my 3 middle school girls met me, giggling as only middle school girls do, with grins as big as their faces, with three of the most beautiful flowers ever. They had bought them at the market and they had bought them just for me.

It was such a spontaneous, beautiful, heartfelt and pure gesture of love from these three beautiful, drama-filled, lovely, mood-swinging, gifts-from-God middle school girls, I could hardly breathe. Maybe you think I am overreacting. I didn’t faint, or cry, or any of that but I was so touched. We took our picture with the flowers and then I decided we needed to put them in a water bottle and carry them with us the rest of the day! I asked the girls if they were up to helping me make sure the blooms survived and we were off!

The flowers rode the tour bus with us, went through the Eastern State Penitentiary with us, had a place on the steps that Rocky ran up, and even rode the train home with us.

The whole trip was great but that day was special. I am a huge fan of the “Rocky” movies- I know, cheesy at best- and I got my picture taken by the statue and a few of us ran up the steps leading up to the Museum of Art. The double decker tour bus ride was so much fun and the weather was perfect. The prison was both surreal and very interesting. The kids were lapping up our last little bit of time in the city, excited for our train ride home but not wanting to leave our own big adventure. And my girls, and my flowers, were my treasure. 

Luke 12: 34 - The place where your treasure is- that is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

The day brought one of those times when I knew I was where I wanted to be, needed to be and hoped I could stay- in the lives of these young people and others, getting to know them, encouraging them and getting so much encouragement from them. I hope that I am teaching them kindness, helping them see how we can work on the ideals of the Kingdom of God here on earth and I hope to remember to thank Jesus for the flowers along the way!

Romans 1: 8, 12 - I thank God through Jesus for every one of you! But don't think I'm not expecting to get something out of this, too! You have as much to give me as I do to you.

I send each and every one of you blessings, peace and joy in everything you do!

Lisa Moran

Rest In Peace, Conner Dog

Conner J. Dog  March 15, 2003 - August 16, 2015

Yesterday afternoon our beloved Conner Dog succumbed to heart failure and we had to have him put down. It was very sudden and very unexpected, with everything changing in the course of an hour. There were many tears, and it will be quite a while before the house feels normal again. We all got to give him final hugs and say our goodbyes, but it still doesn't feel real. He was part of our family for 12 years. All three of us have holes in our hearts.

There are lots of great Conner stories to tell, and over the next few weeks they will be told. But this post is all about how important that fuzzy little cocker spaniel was in my life. Many of you know that he was my constant companion over the past 8 years. He woke me up in the mornings, often far too early. We took 4 or 5 walks together every day. I fed him, and he played fetch with me. And he knew exactly what to do to pry an extra Beggin' Strip out of me. When I got McDonald's breakfast for the family, Conner got a Sausage McMuffin. He would lay his head on my thigh to beg for food. We GOT each other. He was my buddy.

But none of those things were his most important contribution to my life. When life fell apart for my family back in 2007 and we moved back to Tampa, I was very scared and alone. Marilyn and Will loved me, but they were gone to work and school every day. My neighbors were afraid of me. We had no internet and no social media, and this blog didn't exist yet. Almost no one even had my phone number because I assumed none of my friends would ever want to talk to me again. For the better part of 2 years I was alone all day, every day. Except for my faithful dog -he was always by my side. To Conner, I never stopped being a good guy and his love was totally unconditional, just as long as there was food. When Marilyn and Will took trips without me, Conner was always here. On days when it was hard to imagine life ever being good again, Conner would lick my elbow and beg to be rubbed. When ever I was tempted to give up, he was always pulling me out of my chair and taking me for a walk. Conner Dog was my life-support for nearly 2 years. And our bond was so strong because of it.

There is no replacing a family member like Conner. You don't move on and you don't get over it and you don't forget. You just remember- and love. We are thankful that he did not suffer. We are thankful that we got to say goodbye. And we know our lives will never, ever be quite the same. RIP, C-Doggy. I hope that doggy heaven is filled with endless Beggin' Strips. And maybe even your own ice cream bowl.

Some Gave All

I detest war. All wars, in every form. The senseless loss of young lives, often dictated by old men trying to prove their manhood through power grabs and deceit in the name of patriotism, sickens me. War should always be the final option and the last resort. War should be seen as evil by everyone who worships the Prince of Peace.

But those who sacrifice their lives for our country, sometimes with no clear reason why, are women and men who deserve our highest accolades and our deepest respect. Many people have given of themselves to our nation in a variety of ways. But some gave all. And those are the people we remember today. Take time on this Memorial Day to give thanks to those who have given everything. And to pray for peace so that one day we will have no new names to add to the list of heroes.

Because of Jesus,

Remembering Russell Ziskey

In the summer of 1981 I was working at Quaker Lake Camp, and at the end of Senior High Week we got an extra day off (for reasons I don't remember). We normally were only off from noon on Saturdays until 2 PM on Sundays, so trips were out of the question. With my extra 24 hours I decided to drive to Myrtle Beach. By myself. No campers, no one to entertain- just me. Being 21 years old, single and solo in Myrtle Beach was pretty much the dream for me in those days. I could sit on the motel balcony, play the guitar, flirt with strange girls as they passed by and enjoy the ocean in all its glory. There was only one problem. On Saturday afternoon it rained. All afternoon. And I needed something to do.

I drove down to the local multiplex cinema to see what was playing and found that both of the movies I was dying to see were playing (I should point out that in those days some theaters didn't get certain movies, so finding them both was indeed a surprise!). One was Mel Brooks' (another guy who changed comedy forever!) History of the World, Part 1.  The other was Bill Murray in Stripes. Bill Murray won the initial coin flip. 

Early in the movie we were introduced to Murray's co-star, an actor named Harold Ramis playing the role of Russell Ziskey. Russell is teaching an English as a second language class, and his methods are very unique. No one in the class peaks any English, although one student does say he speaks "some of it." Ziskey asks him what words he knows and the whole class begins repeating after him- "Son of b*tch. Sh*t." Russell then finishes the class by teaching them this (a scene that would be repeated quite often at QLC over the next couple of years with younger campers):

The longer the movie lasted the funnier Harold Ramis became, and I remember being amazed that this newcomer could match Bill Murray's comic chops. Stripes was quickly added to my list of comedy classics, and I still quote lines from it on a regular basis (That's the fact, Jack!). To finish the story of that day, I should add that it was still raining when I came out of the theater, so I turned around and bought a ticket to History of the World as well. FUNNIEST. DAY. EVER!!!

By the time Ramis showed up again 3 years later in Ghostbusters (which he also co-wrote) I was already a huge fan. His performance as Egon Spengler was nothing short of brilliant. Even Ghostbusters 2 (see clip below) had some great moments. But I was still unaware that there was much more to Harold Ramis than I knew at the time. He didn't just "show up" in Stripes. He had been a driving force behind some of the great comedies of all-time even before 1981. It was just not as an actor.

Ramis was one of the primary writers for both Animal House and Meatballs in 1978. He directed the all-time classic Caddyshack in 1980. After Stripes, he would go on to be the voice of Marty Moose in National Lampoon's Vacation, which he also directed. And in 1993 he would write and direct one of the truly overlooked classic movies of our time, Groundhog Day - which for me may end up being his most enduring masterpiece. It is not hyperbole to call Harold Ramis a comic genius, or to say that the Judd Apatows, Will Ferrells and Adam Sandlers of the world bow to him every time they make a comedy. His movies changed the genre forever. Just pause for a moment and think- what would a comic world without Animal House, Caddyshack, Vacation,  Ghostbusters, Stripes and Groundhog Day be like?  I'm so glad we don't have to know...

Harold Ramis passed away on Monday at the age of 69. He had been in bad health with a rare disease for a number of years. My son Will sent me a text with the news, knowing it would make me as sad as it made him. I tweeted soon after that "Harold Ramis is dead, and the world just got a lot less funny." His work inspired me. I think I could go an entire day and quote lines from his movies in every sentence that I speak. He made me laugh...not just chuckle, but LAUGH. What a great gift to share with the world. R.I.P, Russell Ziskey. May there be "one heavily armed recreational vehicle" waiting for you on the other side...

An Unfair Disadvantage

The Guilford College Yankees, my 12 year old season. My Dad is directly behind Charlie
in the gold shirt. Can you guess which one is me?  :)

I am sure that many of you watched (as I did) in awe Sunday night as Oscar Pistorius, a double leg amputee from South Africa, ran the 400 meters with the able-bodied runners of the world at the London Olympics.  It was an amazing moment, but even more amazing to me is the fact that many people consider his disability and the fact that he runs on "cheetah legs" to to be an unfair advantage to him.  Oscar himself says that he "has never considered his disability to be a disadvantage."  That statement brought to mind someone from my distant past who could surely identify.  His name was Charlie King.

When I was growing up in the Guilford College community just outside of Greensboro, NC, you could not help but know Charlie King.  He owned and operated a Texaco gas station and a fuel oil company.  He was a regular attender at Guilford Baptist Church.  He owned and operated an insurance company.  He was the manager of the Guilford College Yankees, a dynastic Little League team in the community.  He was often seen driving around in this custom-built vehicle.  Charlie was one of the pillars of Guilford College.  You see, he had an unfait disadvantage.  Charlie had been born with the use of his arms of his legs.  His wrists worked. He had some movement in his ankles and neck. But for the most part, Charlie, back in the 1960's, was supposed to be a burden on society.  He never got that memo.

I knew of Charlie from the age of about 6, but I really got to know him when he selected me to be a Yankee in the Little League player draft when I was 8.  I spent the next 5 summers learning baseball from a man who had never played.  But he knew it all.  So much of what I know about baseball and so much of my love for the game came from Coach King.  He turned me into a good player, with lots of help from my dad and the other coaches.  But baseball was not all he taught me.  He taught me so much about overcoming obstacles and ignoring pessimists.  The first time I ever water skied, Charlie was driving the boat.  A custom made made boat with a stick for a steering wheel that only Charlie could drive. He had simply never considered saying "I can't."  And it showed in every aspect of his life.

You see, Charlie King took his disability and turned it into an unfair disadvantage.  He was never able to take anything for granted.  He always had to work harder than able-bodied people who were trying to do the same things.  Like Oscar Pistorius, he inspired other to greatness, and also like Oscar his success brought criticism and petty jealousy.  Because of my relationship with Charlie, I have been a life-long believer in the power of positive thinking.  I have always believed all things are possible if you have faith.  I want to leave you with my one, signature enduring memory of Charlie.  There was nothing...NOTHING...I have ever witnessed quite the equal of an umpire missing a call, seeing and hearing Coach crank up his motorized wheelchair, and watching him drive from the dugout to home plate to "discuss" things with the ump.  The little man in the little chair could strike fear in their hearts.  It was an honor to play for him and an honor to be his friend.  I know Guilford College is not the the same without him.  My question to you all today is this- Who is it your life that has demonstrated that they have an unfair disadvantage?

Because of Jesus,

Remembering Andy

The great actor Andy Griffith passed away this week.  I grew up with The Andy Griffith Show.  When you grew up in North Carolina in the 1960's and 70's, Mayberry was just part of your life.  I remember seeing the show in black and white in its original run.  I remember watching reruns every day after school.  Andy, Opie, Barney, Aunt Bee, Gomer, Goober and the gang were part of my life.  The show reflected small town life in NC.  People were good neighbors.  They went to church.  They took care of each other.  There was no doubt in my mind that Aunt Bee was the best cook ever, and that Opie was the coolest kid.  I knew where Mount Pilot (Pilot Mountain) was, and I knew that Mayberry was really Mount Airy. It was all very real.  And at the heart of it all was Sheriff Andy Taylor.

Andy was not just the law, he was the town's problem solver.  When people had a dispute over who owned the most chickens, Andy was the referee.  When couples squabbled, Andy helped them through it.  When Opie needed his dad Andy was always there.  He took care of the local fools, of which there were many , starting with Barney and Gomer.  But there was also Otis Campbell, the town drunk, who Andy knew just how to handle.  There was Earnest T. Bass, the local lunatic, who Andy somehow kept under control- most of the time! Andy kept Mayberry free of crime, and he did it in his own, laid back manner. He never carried a gun. He never needed one. Andy, and the show, was all about respect.

The show intruded on my real life in a number of ways over the years.  Andy himself was a distant relative of my bet friend, Steve Semmler.  My great grandmother lived in the same neighborhood in Siler City as did Frances Bavier, the actress who had played Aunt Bee.  In college I dated a girl from Mt. Airy for a time and we often drove by the Mayberry Mall.  At Springfield Friends Meeting my dear friend Lewis Farlow did great impressions of Gomer and Floyd the Barber that always cracked me up. And day after day, year after year I watched the reruns and remembered how simple life could be if people just took care of each other.

There was much more to Andy Griffith, of course, than that one series.  He sang gospel music.  He was Matlock. He was in movies.  He did hilarious radio bits like What It Was Was Football.  But for me, and millions of others, he was always Sheriff Taylor.  His passing leaves a huge hole in our lives.  How huge?  To quote his best friend Barney...  "It's big, Anj!  Huge!  Big ain't the word for it!!!"  The cartoon at the top says it all.  There is a cast party still going on in heaven. And if heaven turns out to be a little like Mayberry...well, we could do a lot worse.  Thanks for the memories, Andy.  Now whistle along with me everyone, and let's go fishing.

Because of Jesus,

Remember

It's Memorial Day, a day set aside to remember those who have fallen while serving their country.  We will remember these men and women of valor in many ways.  There will be flags and parades.  There will be picnics and barbeques.  There will be endless marathons of war movies and patriotic songs.  There will be time spent with family and friends.  But the primary message of the day, the reason we gather, is to remember.  


As this day passes I hope you will take time to do two things.  One is to pause, be still and silent, and say a word of thanks for all those who have served and sacrificed.  It is their day.  So please, REMEMBER.


The second thing I ask of you involves LOOKING FORWARD.  Pray for our leaders and our country, that we will take great pause and use better judgement before sending brave women and men into harm's way in the future.  Let us be ever vigilant in praying for the prophecy of Isaiah 2:4- God shall judge between the nations, and shall decide disputes for many peoples; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore.

Because of Jesus (The Prince of Peace),

Bonus Post: Remembering Randy

We received word through Marilyn's Facebook yesterday that Randy Cockerham had passed away Friday night or Saturday morning in his sleep while away at the beach.  According to his mother, no cause of death will be determined until Monday at the earliest.  Our prayers are with his family and friends in North Carolina.  He was 37.

We got to know Randy through the youth activities of the NC Yearly Meeting of Friends back in the late 1980s and early 90s.  He achieved legendary status through his participation at Quaker Lake Camp, through the Serenity Youth Choir and by being at pretty much everything that happened for Young Friends in those days.  I had not seen Randy in a very long time, and there are certainly many others who knew him far better than I.  But as with so many students who have passed through my life, I have some great memories of him that I would like to share today.  Randy had a beautiful singing voice, and I remember him singing the solo on the verses of Awesome God at Yearly Meeting in 1990 while Rich Mullins sang back-up.  I remember him being the go-to guy anytime we had a problem with sound systems and technology, even while he was in high school.  But mostly, I remember Randy making me laugh.  Sometimes until I cried.  Witness the following stories...

Randy accompanied us on a New York trip at some point (maybe 1989 or '91?).  No one was more of a "southern boy" than Randy, but he quickly fell in love with New York City.  He had a long list of family members and friends he wanted to buy souvenirs for, and he took choosing these gifts very seriously.  His parents had sent him with a credit card, which he was only supposed to use after calling them.  Randy seemed to find something to buy on every corner, and so many calls were made.  This being way before cell phones, that meant we spent a lot of time waiting for Randy to call his parents collect on pay phones.  He always had to talk them into it...and he always succeeded.  We would stand by the phone booths just doubled-up with laughter at his "sales pitches."  We all joked that he spent more monoey on collect calls than the rest of us spent on gifts!  But the story that Marilyn and I have retold dozens of times over the years is of the night we ate at Mama Leone's, then one of the city's most famous Italian restaurants.  This was one very classy place.  Seven course meals.  Strolling minstrels singing operatic songs in Latin.  Waiters who made more money in a week than I made in a year.  It was the very definition of elegant.  At one point during the meal, one of the singers stopped by our table and asked if we had any classic Italian love songs we wanted to hear.  Randy quickly spoke up and said, "Can you do That's Amore?"  The classically trained Italian tenor rolled his eyes and made a terrible face- and then sang it full voice with mocking facial expressions directed at Randy.  We were falling out of our chairs laughing.  Then it got even better.  One of the servers came around offering fresh ground mozzarella cheese for our entrees.  Randy took one look at the bowl of cheese and asked the server a question I will never forget- "Do you have any Kraft Parmesan Cheese?"  I am not sure I have ever laughed any harder in my life.  Needless to say, Mama Leone's DID NOT have any Kraft...

Randy Cockerham was just one of those people.  If you knew him, you loved him- and you wanted to spend time with him.  He will be missed by many.  I hope that if you are reading this post and you knew Randy that you will leave a comment with your memories of his life, which touched us all.  Have a blessed day.

Because of Jesus,