Super Memories

It's Super Bowl weekend, which always brings back floods of memories for me. So many youth group parties and chili dinners with old friends are stored away in my vault. But for the past 10 years, we have spent the day at Winners Sports Bar here in Tampa watching the game and eating good food. The tradition started with Marilyn, Will, and me but quickly became a "family event. Michelle joined in, along with her brother Alex and much of the rest of her family. And for the past 7 or 8 years, Lisa Jewett joined in the fun. Her son Scott came at least once as well. Tomorrow will be another first without her, another day full of happy memories and the sadness of not being able to create new ones. I've missed her during the playoffs when she would ask who was still alive for the big game and "who do we want to win?" She knew my loathing of the Patriots and knew if they were playing we wanted the other team. But she had no great knowledge of football. So game night she would sit near me and ask a lot of questions. And, as always with Lisa, the questions were a hoot! Things like:
* Why don't the coaches wear uniforms like they do in baseball?
* If you have offensive and defensive coordinators, why do you need a head coach?
* Why can't the first guy who touches the ball (the center) just pick it up and run with it? 
* The signals the refs give for penalties are too confusing. Why can't there be a different color flag for each penalty?
* Can you substitute in the middle of a play like in hockey?

You get the idea. Lisa also added her own unique flavor to the party. In 2013 we had to find her a Baltimore Ravens jersey for their game against the 49ers. Why? Her son Scott's high school mascot had ben the Ravens, and she loved Baltimore's purple jerseys. In 2014, Seattle was playing Denver. We were rooting for The Broncos and Peyton Manning. But the crowd at Winners was overwhelmingly against us. Periodically one of the fans would start a cheer by yelling, "SEA!" And the rest would respond by yelling, "HAWKS!"  After several occurrences of this, Lisa turned to me and said that she didn't understand. Why were they yelling "HAWKS SEE?" She was not hearing the initial sea, only the response and second sea. So, of course, we laughed for quite a while, and we did a HAWKS SEE cheer several times after that.

Over the last 4 years of her life, Lisa always came for the fun, even though she left early most nights and couldn't eat for several others. She made me call her the moment the 2018 game ended and Will's beloved Eagles had actually beaten the hated Patriots. It's was just another way she was a huge part of our family.

So enjoy the game. Throw a few brightly colored flags and make up your own penalties. And oh by the way...this year WE will be cheering for the Chiefs!!!

Empty Chairs, Empty Tables...and an Empty Stocking

Happy Christmas Eve! 2019 has been a year filled with highs (the wedding of Will & Michelle comes to mind) and lows. As so often happens in life, it takes a holiday or special occasion to bring life's changes into full view. This Christmas season was already very difficult, doing so many things we used to with Lisa Jewett without her for the first time. But it is also the first Christmas with Will not at home and with Michelle as his wife. Most of you know I have never been someone who feared change. But today, right now, I have to say enough already!

For most of the past 5 years, our Christmas Eve began at Steak'N'Shake eating breakfast with Michelle while she worked. Lisa would join us, and the 5 of us would do our own little gift exchange right there in the restaurant. This year, Will is also working at Olive Garden- a 12 hour day! So missing breakfast is not the only change to our traditions. A normal Jones Christmas Eve would consist of us going to a Candlelight Service at church, followed by a hot dog (with chili and slaw!) dinner and a watching of A Muppet Christmas Carol. Marilyn and I will still go to church, but the hot dogs and Muppets will now wait until tomorrow when Will and Michelle can join us. The empty chairs and empty tables are making what was already difficult feel very, very sad. It is a day when I should be proclaiming JOY TO THE WORLD but I confess to it being a struggle.

And then there is the empty stocking. On Christmas Day 2015 Lisa was in the hospital, and after our family opened our presents that morning I went to see her. I had picked up this cool Snoopy stocking for $1.99 at Walgreen's the night before and lots of junk to fill it up. I just didn't want her to miss Christmas. For the following 3 years, I kept the same stocking and filled it each Christmas, usually giving it to her on Boxing Day. The gifts got better each year, but that didn't really matter to Lisa. She told me after the second time that she couldn't remember the last time anyone had done a stocking for her, and that it was her favorite part of Christmas. So I have the stocking out this year, and for most of the season, seeing it made me smile as my mind flooded with great memories. But today- knowing I have nothing to put in it, knowing it will continue to be empty- it just makes me miss her even more. Add the empty stocking to the empty chairs and empty tables and it is hard to feel merry about much of anything today.

Tomorrow is the day we celebrate the birth of the Christ child. It's the day we remember that HOPE came into the world, and that LOVE came down so we could all understand what love really means.  Tomorrow I will be ok, as the family gathers and we remember the promise of Christmas. But my word for today is empty. I know I am not alone in that feeling, and for any of you who are hurting and feel loss during this season, you have my prayers. May we all find the HOPE that came that first Christmas.

Peace be with you,

Carl

Apple Pie

Today is Lisa Jewett's 55th birthday, and so it will be a hard day for her family and friends, and especially for me. But I want to share a happy story, so I'm going to talk about apple pie! At some point during the time Lisa lived with us following her surgery and during her initial chemo treatments in 2015-2016 she began craving warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream, so Publix and I provided it for her. Quite often! Those cravings went away for a few years, but in early 2019 returned and we often went to The Village Inn after her weekly chemo for apple pie- and a caramel sauce drizzle. She loved her apple pie. But that's not really what I came to talk about today...

Sometime around 2013, a group of us were having dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse. At some point, a birthday was celebrated near us, and the servers did their version of happy birthday, which is more of a chant than a song. It goes, "Fried chicken, country hog, it's your birthday, HOT DOG!"  Lisa had never heard it before and just loved it. A few days later she called, saying she was trying to remember the words and wondering (as always) if I could help. I told her the words, and her end of the phone went silent for a moment. Then she told me that I was wrong because she was certain the chant included the words "apple pie." I repeated the chant (with confidence) only to be told once again that I was incorrect. She spent a great deal of time over the following weeks trying to figure out just where her beloved apple pie fit, but with no luck. When we finally returned to the restaurant she was certain she would be vindicated. As luck would have it an adjacent table was celebrating and the chant was performed. They finished- with no apple pie. But our Lisa was not to be denied. As the servers began to disperse she yelled out, "APPLE PIE!" As so often happened when she and I were together, we broke out in loud laughter and almost no one else understood. From that point on, almost anytime we were anywhere and anyone was singing a birthday song, at the end we would look at each other, grin and say, "APPLE PIE!"

So if you are like me and you are missing Lisa today on her birthday, break out your favorite birthday song for her. And don't forget to finish it off with some apple pie...

Carl

Farewell, Lisa

My friend Lisa Jewett passed away early Saturday morning September 14, 2019- her heroic 4-year struggle with ovarian cancer finally at an end. My friend Lisa. Even as I typed those words the word "friend" seems overwhelmingly and heartbreakingly insufficient. In truth, there is no single word that describes what Lisa and I shared- but I shall attempt to tell you our story.

By August of 2015, Lisa was already a part of our family. She, Marilyn and I had dinner together as often as 3 or 4 times each week. Lisa and Marilyn were Disney buddies, often including our son Will and his girlfriend Michelle. And Lisa and I had become very close. We talked and texted often. We were keepers of each other's secrets. A very special bond developed between us. So when she came to my house one afternoon to tell me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was going to Moffitt Cancer Center to have it confirmed, I was devastated. She sat on my couch and we both cried. She told me her greatest fear was having to go through the fight she faced alone. I promised her then and there she would never be alone. "Always and forever, no matter what." And I spent the last 4 years keeping that promise.

Many people know that I went with her to almost every appointment, every chemo treatment, and every emergency room visit. I stayed nights with her in the hospital after her surgery and on many other occasions. She lived with Marilyn and me for several months as she recovered. I was her nurse, giving her shots and treating her incision. I was her cook as we tried to find foods that tasted good and didn't upset her system. And I was her friend as we watched TV and took walks and tried to guess what the future might hold. After she moved back to her home I was still her lunch buddy, her Uber driver, and her emergency contact. I was at the hospital with her when she had her gallbladder removed in the Spring of 2016.  And right through the end of her life, I was by her side every chance I got. I will be forever grateful to her son Ken and his family for inviting me into their home over her last 6 weeks to continue being part of her care team. Ken was amazing at the end of her life, loving his mom so well.

But our bond became so much more than medical. When she started back to teaching I often delivered lunch to her at school. At Christmas, I filled a stocking for her each year, which she once told me was the sweetest thing I ever did for her. She joined my family for so many special events, from movies to dinners. For the past 3 years, I did most of her grocery shopping for her (not that she required much!), was often sent for emergency school supplies, and kept Amazon in business ordering things she needed...or wanted! One particularly bad week of school I sent her flowers anonymously to her classroom. She immediately called me to thank me, and I questioned what made her think I sent them. Her response- "Who else would do that for me?"- may still be my favorite thing she ever said to me. We watched TV together most every night- from separate homes! We would text as we watched. In the summer of 2018 I was blessed to be able to send she and Marilyn on a dream trip for both of them- a Disney Cruise to the Caribbean! In November of that year I took her to New York City, keeping a very old promise I had made to her in 2005. Lisa, Marilyn, Will, Michelle and I had the trip of a lifetime, including 6 shows and nearly freezing to death at the Macy's Parade. Her friends Chris and Carol Miller also took her on great trips (including an Alaskan Cruise in July of this year with Marilyn going as well), and she got to spend incredible times with her 5 grandkids in Asheville and at Disney. I loved that she always came to me for help planning things for her grandchildren. Over the last 4 years of her life, Lisa LIVED better than most of us.  And it was amazing to be part of her journey.

My family will never be the same without her. We will miss her every time we see a movie or a musical. We will miss her every time we celebrate a birthday. They will miss her every time they go to Disney. And me? When will I not miss her? Every time I see an orange car I will want to yell "Skittle!" Every time I watch anything related to "The Bachelor" I will miss her. Every time I have a story to tell, a sadness to defeat, or a need to talk about Sharknado I will miss her. And every time I see a Joe's Crab Shack my eyes will water. That was our place.  She was a special, courageous, funny, beautiful woman with whom I shared a unique bond. And it hurts to know she is gone.

When I told her goodbye as I left Ken's house on Friday night, I kissed her forehead and said the same things I had the previous 2 nights as she slipped away from us. I told her I loved her, and that it was ok- she could let go now. Her family was there. And then I reminded her one last time that I  was too. "Always and forever. No matter what."

13 weeks have passed since I wrote the above words, and it has not gotten any easier. We celebrated her life in a service just last weekend, but the hole in my heart feels no closure. Her birthday is coming fast, as is Christmas. Hard times for all who loved her, but if I may be allowed to say so, even harder for me. So many memories, so many treasured moments flood my heart. I still say good morning and good night every day, and suppose I always will. No mater what.

Carl

The Christmas Pickle

Today is the birthday of one of my heroes, my dear friend Lisa Jewett. In honor of her special day and this special time of year, today's post is an ornament story that concerns a special (although a little strange!) gift she gave my family back in 2005. Here is the legend of The Christmas Pickle!

According to Lisa, the idea of putting pickles on Christmas trees goes back to Germany during one of the World Wars. Soldiers marching through the German countryside would often enter house looking for food and take all that a family might have. One Christmas Eve a family, trying to save some food for themselves, hid some pickles in their tree, where they went unnoticed by the scavengers. As a side note, we do not know if these were individual pickles or the entire jar. In any case, the family had a pickle feast! Over the years that followed it became tradition to hide one pickle in the tree on Christmas Eve as a reminder of that night. The child who could find the pickle on Christmas morning would receive an extra gift and much good luck for the coming year. The Christmas Pickle became a symbol of blessing and prosperity. So when Lisa presented us with our very own pickle ornament, we hung it on our tree. Even though it seemed quite odd. It's there every year, and she has already been over to look for it in 2016- even thought it's not Christmas Eve yet. Will hid it from her but she found it anyway- although this year he made it tough on her! And the tradition continues...

Lisa is a part of our family. We all love her very much and love that we get to spend so much time with her. Tonight our extended family will be celebrating at Kobe's, where despite the fact that she will be the guest on honor my son Will is not going to let her play the big drum! Lisa is one of the best friends anyone could ask for, and she means the world to me. She continues to need to our prayers and out hugs in her ongoing battle; cancer won't quit, but neither will she!!! That odd pickle hanging on our tree is a reminder that we have indeed been blessed by her friendship and her love. Happy Birthday, Lisa! And may Santa bring you a case of pickles this year!

Good News/Bad News

Marilyn, Lisa, Will & Michelle. My Ohana.

You know the old thing where someone comes to you and says, "I've got good news and bad news- which do you want first?" Well I always choose good news first, so that is where I will start today. Eventually...

If you have read this blog at all over the past few years then you know of my dear friend Lisa Jewett. She has been a part of our family for quite a while now, and we love her. You may also recall that last August she was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer and began a long uphill battle against that horrible disease. She did not face the struggle alone. She has had wonderful support from family and friends, and many prayer warriors who have held her in Light of Christ over these past 10 months. She also had consistent love and support from my family. Lisa lived with us from late September through the end of January as she went through chemo treatments and surgery, and Marilyn gave of herself, her home, our finances and her time to help take care of her. Will gave her his room and took the guest room when he would come home from college, and he and Michelle called often to check on Lisa and visited whenever they could. In the toughest days of her recovery from all that had to be done, our home was her home. And we would have had it no other way.

But to be truthful (and perhaps a bit selfish) the last 10 months were a journey that Lisa shared primarily with me. Back at the beginning, when all was so scary and unknown, I quoted a little Bon Jovi to her- "take my hand and we'll make it, I swear!" And together we did just that. My life circumstances have given me the gift of free time, which often feels like a burden. For theses past 10 months it has been a tremendous blessing. Lisa trusted me to be her caregiver, and I was honored to take on the job. We laughed together, cried together, were afraid together and rejoiced together. I held her hand through every minute of 8 long chemo sessions. After her cancer surgery her room became my home away from home for 10 days and nights. There were countless trips to the doctors, numerous lab appointments and even a few emergency room trips that led to more nights at the hospital. During many of the most difficult days she just gave me her phone and I became the communications link to her family and friends- making some new friends myself along the way (You know that thing that everyone has to do after surgery before the hospital lets you leave? I texted about pooping with people I had never met before!). At one point after the cancer surgery, I had to give her a shot every morning for 2 weeks. Lisa hates needles (not to mention the location of the shots) so every day was a new moment of trust. Just when all of the chemo was done and we awaited good news on her cancer cell count, her gallbladder went south and there was more surgery and recovery. But we got through it together. In the process not only did our friendship grow much deeper, but I learned some very important things about myself and my own life.

When I look back over the hours and hours we have spent together during these 10 months, there is one thing that stands out in my mind- LUNCH! From the moment she had to stop working right up through a surprise visit yesterday, there have been very few days over the past 10 months when we did not eat lunch together, most often at my house. I made her a lot of sandwiches (peanut butter and banana, turkey and cheese, peanut butter and marshmallow fluff) and the occasional baked potato. In the beginning there were lots of Ruffles Sour Cream & Cheddar potato chips and pickle spears; more recently lots of fresh fruit replaced those things. We ate a lot of ice cream and pie early on, again replaced by Snackwells and popsicles as time passed. And she drank gallons of unsweetened tea- with just a little sweet added for flavor. I often felt like a bartender! We watched hours of TV together in the afternoons and spent hours talking. Lunch was our time. And that time is now, for the most part, over. Between her trips and ours, yesterday marked the end of the lunch bunch. She can get back to family, back to work and back to her life. I know how important it is to her to feel normal again

The good news I promised you is this- Lisa has come out the other side of cancer treatments and gallbladder surgery and is feeling great!!! Her cell count is good, her hair is coming back and the doctors are happy. She is back to eating what she wants and is once again full of energy. She can play full-tilt with her grandkids, go to Disney World with Marilyn, Will & Michelle and do most anything she chooses to do. She will resume teaching again at the beginning of August and she doesn't have to see her oncologist again until after school begins. She left last night on a big 10 day family trip to NC where she will get glorious time with all 4 of her grandchildren, and later this summer the same bunch will do a Disney weekend together. It's always too soon to say someone has beaten cancer- the war will continue. But to this point, Lisa has won ALL the battles! Her courage, faithfulness and perseverance have astonished me at times and have been nothing short of heroic. She is back to living life, and living it abundantly. And there is no better news that that...

The bad news? Honestly, there is no bad news for anyone but me. The bad news is I am REALLY gonna' miss my lunch buddy- even if she never lets me win any of the games we play! It has been a long hard struggle for Lisa, but somehow we have found some joy in the journey. And now it's time to celebrate! I'm praying that she has an amazing time in NC and a spectacular rest of the summer. Join me, won't you?

Because of Jesus,

Look Who's Blogging!

Michelle, Marilyn & Will

Greetings! My name is Carl Jones and I used to be a blogger. Every day for the better part of 6 years I would post random thoughts and musings about life, faith friendship and love at this very spot and millions (Okay-tens!) of you would stop by to read each day. Then on November 2, 2015, it all came to an end. As the months passed there were a few random posts, most recently exactly 3 months ago yesterday. Much has transpired in my life since August, and most of it is now behind me. And as I face a future with a bit more free time and hopefully less stress, the urge to write again seems to be coming back. So today, I dip one of my 7 toes in the deep end. Whether I will dive in or not remains to be seen...

Let me try to get everyone caught up on life in Carl Land these past few months. Many of you know my Mom died on February 5th, and much of my time and energy since then has gone into finalizing her estate, cleaning out and selling her villa, and making her decisions and transactions related to her passing. It has been sometimes difficulty, sometimes painful, sometimes stressful and ever-present- and that is just the work. Dealing with Mom no longer being here continues to be a separate but equal difficulty. As I slogged through the process and dealt with call after call from real estate agents, lawyers, bankers, financial advisers and handymen it seemed certain that this was not survivable. To lessen the stress, I changed the ringtone for everyone related to the work to Don't Worry, Be Happy- and it helped! Even so there were numerous obstacles to overcome along the way in what seemed to be a never-ending process. Eventually we found our way through the system, completed the paper work, emptied her home and with the help of an amazing realtor named Carol Zior put the villa on the market. Last Friday we closed the sale, and Mom's home now belongs to lovely couple moving in from Raleigh, NC. The Circle of Life, huh?

Having whined a bit about how hard it all was, I should also tell you that my Mom had crossed every "t" and dotted every "i" in preparation of her passing. Nothing was difficult to find or to process from our end, no matter how difficult the banks and courts tried to make it. And Mom, even as she prepared to leave us, was still taking care of our family. Almost as soon as we started dealing with her death, we began to find indications of saved monies that we didn't know about. And it didn't stop for about the first month. Now, with the villa sold as well, Marilyn, Will & myself have a little surprise nest egg. I took a weekend away to NC and had a great visit with old friends (thanks for the cookout, Martha Farlow!) and some time to unwind. We have some new furniture for the first time in 10 years (my recliner was the only new piece purchased in those years). Marilyn and I will taking a Hawaiian vacation in August for our 30th anniversary. In November, Will & Michelle will join us for a long weekend in New York City. There have been several dinners where friends raised a glass to toast my mother even as she "paid" for it. It is is even possible that I may come out of this with a car of my own. Not new, but still...  God is good, and life is exciting these days. My Mom always came to our aid, even when we didn't ask for it. And now she has done it one last time! We all love and miss her, and her passing just makes me miss my Dad that much more as well.

Marilyn is doing well, working hard and finding ways to spend time at Disney. Her skills in the legal field and as a notary were crucial in expediting all of the paper work dealing with Mom's estate. We look forward to having the resources to do some of the things we have been unable to do for the last decade as we approach that 30th anniversary.

It is also my pleasure to report that our dear friend Lisa Jewett is doing very well. After months of chemo treatments and surgeries her cancer is in remission (but please keep praying!) and her gallbladder has gone bye-bye! She feels the best she has in a very long time and is getting in great time with family and friends before resuming teaching in August. It has been an honor to walk with her through this rough patch, and now we look forward to lots of fun!

Our son Will continues his outstanding work in the film school at the University of Central Florida and at the Olive Garden located near the campus. He is taking three online classes this summer, and they begin today. He and Marilyn spent Mother's Day weekend in NC with her mom (who could use your prayers too- her health is very up and down right now) and had a great time together. And he and Michelle are still going strong!

So I guess that catches you up with my life. It's nice to be writing again, and I think there will be more to come- just not every day. There is so much craziness going on in the world that I have yet to comment on- bathroom laws, Donald Trump and a GREAT Chicago Cubs team- and maybe the interwebs could use one more slightly off-kilter voice. As my Dad liked to say, your future is unwritten until you write it. I'm plowing ahead, seeking to write a new chapter in my own life. You are invited along for the ride!

Because of Jesus,

Ring That Bell!

Yesterday, for the eighth time since late August, I drove my best friend Lisa Jewett to the Moffitt Cancer Center at International Plaza so she could receive chemotherapy for her stage 4 ovarian cancer. It's now hard to imagine that 5 months ago I had no idea such a place existed. And now- FINALLY! - she was arriving at the end of her treatments. Yesterday was the final chemo as prescribed by her oncologist. And it was a long, hard road for Lisa. The side effects can be brutal. She seldom feels "right," often being unable to explain exactly what feels "off" - she just knows something does. There have been trips to the Moffitt emergency treatment center. There have been post treatments shots, including one today. For years I had heard stories of friends who had to go through the process of chemo, and thought I knew how hard this would be for her. As is so often true, hearing and experiencing are two very different things. Over the 8 days of treatment, I estimate that Lisa spent nearly 40 hours in the infusion center having her body pumped full of healing liquids. She had been through so much to arrive at yesterday. And I know. I was there for every minute of those 40 hours. Her struggle has been very real. But yesterday it was time to cross a finish line- and celebrate the day!

It is a tradition in cancer centers for patients to ring a bell at the conclusion of their final chemo as a symbol of victory in the battle with cancer. And yesterday my dear friend Lisa got to ring that bell- and she did it with passion and conviction! Before she pulled the bell rope we circled up with the infusion staff (see picture below) and I prayed, thanking God for all that has been done through the medical staff and those who have given Lisa their love and support. 

We thanked God for her courage and willingness to do everything in her power to beat this hideous disease. And we prayed that God would now finish the healing process. I had barely uttered "Amen" when the bell rang out loud and clear! In fact, Lisa moved so fast no one got a picture of the actual bell ringing- we had to tell her to do it again! She was given a certificate of completion and the staff praised her attitude and her courage. They insisted I get in a picture and said some very nice things to me as well. Lisa's smile lit up the infusion center as the hugs began. Over these months the staff at Moffitt International not only took amazing care of Lisa, they became our friends. And every light is a storm is an important one...

So yesterday we celebrated. But there are still hurdles to cross and many prayers to be said. We go in this afternoon for a shot, and then next Thursday Lisa will have blood work and a CT scan. The following Thursday- February 11th - she meets with the doctor to hear the results and discover what lies ahead. We (and I say we often, even thought she is the one going through all of this, because to me it feels like "we") pray that the cancer will be gone and never return. We have faith that God has got this. Lisa is making plans for the future and will be moving back to her house soon, leaving the "home" that my house has become for her. So we move forward with hope, and Lisa covets your prayers for complete healing. 

Last night I thanked God for the opportunities I have been blessed with during this process. It has often been a difficult thing for me over these past years to have so much free time on my hands, sometimes feeling like there was no higher purpose in my life. Suddenly, because of all that available time, God gave me a ministry and a purpose. I have been reminded over and over again that words, even words as powerful as "I love you," are empty without actions that prove you mean it. It is my prayer that my presence in her life has been a blessing for Lisa; it is a certainty that it has been a blessing to me. And we're not done yet. But you see that smile on the beautiful lady to the left? That's enough to keep me going as long as I am needed! May our hearts overflow with love and thanksgiving today, and may each of our "inner bells" ring loud and proud for Lisa! Can I get a WOOHOO? :)

Because of Jesus,

Happy Birthday, Lisa!

As many of you know, this blog is currently on hiatus. When I started this break over a month ago, I reserved the right to post on special occasions without jumping back into blogging with both feet. Today is one of those special occasions. In fact, it is a MOST special occasion. Tonight a group of 7 of us are going to the premier of The Force Awakens at 8 pm. Will is here along with Michelle. Lisa Jewett and her son Scott are joining us and so is Michelle's brother Alex. We are all very excited! And THAT is the second most important thing about today...

You see today is Lisa Jewett's birthday. Seeing the movie tonight is only one of the celebrations planned for this weekend (several of them surprises!), and it is my prayer that it will all be amazing for her. Tomorrow she will head to St. Pete to spend the next 8 days with her oldest son and his family, including all 4 of her grandkids. I am so happy she is feeling good and gets that time with those precious children and her son. But we have not often been apart over the past 3 months, and I confess I am going to miss her terribly here at Chez Jones.

It is not unusual for people to say about a dear friend that "they are like part of the family." Lisa is much more than that to us. She IS part of our family. Will calls and texts with her on a regular basis to see how she is doing. Marilyn has welcomed her into our home and helped care for her. I spent 9 days and 8 nights by her side in the hospital after her surgery and have cared for her in our home over the past 28 days- and for many days before that during her chemo treatments. My friends- many of whom have never met her- text me often to inquire how she is feeling. I have made new friends as her friends and family texted me when she was unable to use her phone- and some of them continue to do so! Lisa is family.

As I spent that time with her in the hospital and have driven her to doctor's appointments, chemo treatments and various other things people quite naturally assume that I am her spouse or her boyfriend. When we laugh and reply, "No, we are just best friends" people look at us like we are lying. Nurses at Moffitt Cancer Center pulled me aside and questioned why I was staying with her 24/7 after the surgery, saying that "just friends" never did that- in fact, most families don't. My answer was simple- I stayed because my friend Lisa needed me to, and I am honored that she has trusted me enough to put herself in my care. In truth, I guess in some small way we are lying when we say "just friends." The word FRIEND is not nearly big enough, but our bond is very difficult to put into words. We are OHANA in the best sense of the word, and caring for her has never been a burden. It is a joy, and as I often tell her, a job I refuse to be fired from. She's stuck with me!

So Happy Birthday to my Lisa! I pray your day is filled with joy and peace, and that your weekend will be full of glorious surprises and smiling grandkids. And when you are ready to move back in with us after Christmas to prepare for more chemo, your room will be waiting for you. And so will your family!  We love you very much!!!

Because of Jesus,

Throwback Thursday: My Philosophy

Happy Throwback Thursday! Today we are blasting all the way back to June of 2015- you heard me, 2015! In one of my Saturday Shout Outs posts I shared some points of personal philosophy with my readers, including several things about the way I was seeing life back in June. Since then...let's just say there have been some serious tests of my insights. There has been a great deal of pain and suffering associated with my friends and family. There has been loss. Many nights my eyes have been watery; many days I have questioned the things I believe. But through it all life goes on, and we can choose to hide or to face the fire. You see, there have also been moments of great joy and sheer emotional exhilaration. Life is nothing if not mixed emotions. Today I will be with Lisa Jewett as she gets a CAT scan in preparation for her surgery scheduled for November 10th. With so much going on it seemed like a good day to remind myself of these principles. Perhaps they will be something you need as well...

* Philosophy Update #1: "You know life is like a train. It's bearing down on you, and guess what? It's gonna hit you! So you can either start running when it's far off in the distance, or you can pull up a chair, crack open a beer, and just watch it come!" ~ Eric Forman, That 70s Show  In the original post the next words I wrote were, "And I say bring it on!" Be careful what you ask for I suppose. But I have also been reminded that LOVE is also a runaway train...and being run over by the  love train is a blessing beyond all others!

* Philosophy Update #2: I can't even explain how much I love this quote- or how important it has become in my life. It is a brief instruction manual on seizing life and wringing the most from it, not matter the circumstances. And I find there is a great spirituality hidden in these words. Thank you, Samuel Langhorne Clemons!

* Philosophy Update #3: "Don't goin' shooting all the dogs down just 'cause one's got fleas!" ~ Brandon Flowers, Dreams Come True  It's past time to stop looking at labels and start seeing individuals. We are all uniquely created. We all have flaws. And we all need each other.

* Philosophy Update #4: No more focusing on flaws, in myself or in others. Let's focus on the joys and sorrows we all deal with, not on the smelly parts of our lives! So often we feel invisible until we do something wrong. Let's accentuate the positive in our lives!!!

* Philosophy Update #5: "When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun, keep me in your heart for a while. There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done, keep me in your heart for a while."  ~ Warren Zevon, Keep Me In Your Heart

The late great songwriter composed those words after he knew was dying with mesothelioma. The song is an anthem to holding tight the people and the memories that matter because we simply do not know what tomorrow holds. David Letterman once asked the terminally ill singer if he understood more about life as he approached death, and if so, what advice he might offer. Zevon's famous answer? "Enjoy every sandwich." The past few months have made those words ring true in ways I could have never imagined back in June...

That's it for today. So to sum up our philosophy lesson- laugh, love, forgive, never regret a smile, don't label people, focus on the positive and enjoy every sandwich. Kissing slowly is optional. :) Those are my new goals each and every day. Have a blessed day, and I do hope you'll stop by again soon. If not, then please do "keep me in your heart for a while..."

Because of Jesus,

Save the Mustache, Save the World!

Marilyn, Lisa and the Philly Phanatic (Honker!) last March

Most of my readers are aware that last week the contest to Save or Shave my 35 year old mustache to raise money for Lisa Jewett's battle with cancer ended. We raised about $900 and you voted to save my old friend, so it all worked out well in the end! Marilyn, Lisa and several other very vocal friends are quite happy not to see my upper lip go naked. I am pleased as well, although I must admit having to shave it would have made for a great video and a great blog post. Just like with FOX News, my blog is better when there is sensational video to back up a fairly boring or fictional story!

So with my mustache safe and the contest over, you may be wondering why I am writing about this again today. It's simple really. You see, the Save It of Shave It? competition was never really about saving the mustache- it was about saving the world! You may wonder how keeping this furry thing on my upper lip could save the world, and it is a legitimate query. It won't. But a great man once told me that ministry in the name of Jesus is not really about changing the world- it's about changing the world for just ONE person. And that was what the mustache battle was really all about. We set out to help change the world for Lisa. And here's why today's post is important; we aren't done yet. Lisa still faces chemo again tomorrow, then surgery and then most likely more chemo. Even with health insurance the bills will mount. She has medicines to buy, food to purchase and rent to pay. She will not be able to return to her job as a 1st grade teacher until March at the earliest. There is much to be done. You may be finished saving my mustache, but we are not finished saving Lisa from huge financial stress. It's not a charity or a worthy cause, dear friends. This is a ministry, and one we can all share in. We may not be able to help everyone in need, but we can help one person. We can pray, we can give and we can love. And we SHOULD do it, because Jesus commands us to care for one another. We can be heroes.

So please keep Lisa in your thoughts and prayers, especially as we begin another cycle of chemo tomorrow. Please let her know she is loved. And if you are financially able, please visit her Go Fund Me Page (just click and go!) and make a donation. You have already saved my mustache. Now let's get busy saving the world!

Because of Jesus, 

The 'Stache is Talking Trash

'Stache Stunt Double

As many of you are aware, today is Carl's birthday. He deserves a day off from writing, so I -his Moustache- have taken over the blog for this Tuesday. You may be surprised that a moustache can have a life of its own and can write, or you may be among those who have suspected all along that I have special powers. In any case, today is my day to shine! You may also recall that this is the final day of the ridiculous contest in which Carl has allowed you to have control of my destiny in order to raise money for our beloved Lisa Jewett. I say "our beloved" because she (just like Marilyn, who has kept me safe for many years!) was steadfastly opposed to anything that might cause me to disappear from Carl's face- so of course I love her too! Despite my trepidation, I have been proud to risk my life so that we could raise money for her battle with ovarian cancer- because #CancerSucks. Carl's readers have been very generous, and we thank you. But here, on the final day of voting to Save It or Shave It (and with me being the IT in question!), there are a few things that need to be said. This 'stache is about to talk some trash!

It is clear from the voting so far that the ladies love me, and who can blame them? My powers are mystical, but very real. The money raised to save me has turned the voting into a landslide (although some as yet unclaimed votes from a very generous anonymous voter- and the Gastler family- could change all that) without a single female voting for my demise. Apparently, you gotta' love the 'stache! Most of you have no idea what Carl would look like without me, and that scares you. I get that. As Carl Semmler wrote, who would pay to see MORE of this guy's face?  Todd Willis voted to shave me out of sheer curiosity, and I get that as well. But those of you who want me gone are failing. At midnight tonight, unless you have a comeback of epic proportions, my future will be secure. So I taunt you! This is your once chance to kiss me goodbye, and you are blowing it. Can you imagine your joy at watching a video of a professional putting Carl in a chair and sending me to oblivion? It's all slipping away, isn't it? You under-estimated the power of the 'stache- and now it's desperation time for all the haters!

Want to shut me up? Then click the link provided and go visit Lisa's Go Fund Me page, donate and vote! Every $5 you donate earns one vote, and $100 doubles your total and gives you 40 votes to use against me. So far readers of this blog have given over $900 to the cause; that's awesome, but we are greedy. We want more! I mentioned that it is Carl's birthday, and he has repeatedly said that what he wants most as a gift to him is for people to give to Lisa. That's sweet and all, but I have another challenge for you. Give today, on this final day of the contest, and vote to shut me up! I dare ya. It'll take several hundred dollars of giving for the Shave It! votes to catch up, but if you do it you can watch me go bye-bye. You can do something wonderful and disappoint the women in my life all at the same time. But I don't think it will happen, because the 'stache lovers out there can give as well. I'd love to see a bidding war, a fight to the finish- because we'd love to see those donation totals soar today.

So donate, vote and wish Carl a Happy Birthday! Then tune in tomorrow for the big announcement. I'm not worried about my future. In fact, I'm planning my next move. Just like Pinky & the Brain, Carl and I are planning to take over the world! You should Fear the 'Stache!!!

Moose

Saturday Shout Outs!

The great month of October has arrived, and with it comes great weather, great football, great birthdays and a new edition of my Saturday Shout Outs! There's a lot going on in my life, with plenty of prayers (both joys and concerns) and the fate of my moustache still up in the air! We've got all the news that fits, so buckle up, hang on and let's get ready to shout!

• Lisa Kraus Spires (FUMC-Kissimmee) continues to ask for prayers for her youngest daughter Abby, who will be undergoing more tests for some seizure issues. We pray for Abby, Lisa and that the doctors will discover for certain what is going on. We also remember our friend and Abby's grandma Carol Kraus. Love you Lisa!
• Zach Wehr (Wesley Memorial UMC) has started a new job with AUV Flight Services, where he will be working with unmanned aircraft (think drones) and spending a lot of time in Tuscon, AZ. Congratulations Zach!
• Lisa Jewett lived at our house this week recovering from her 2nd chemo treatment, and we are glad to pass along the praise report that this cycle was much better than the first! She felt less fatigue, less nausea and just generally recovered more quickly this time around. I am pretty sure that her personal nurse (that would be me!) deserves most of the credit. But in all seriousness, what a blessing it was both to have Lisa with us and to see her feeling so much better!!! But keep praying- we do it all over again October 15th. #CancerSucks
• Katie Shepherd Lebrato (New Garden Friends Meeting) shared with the Facebook world that she is expecting her first child! I remember seeing Katie with her mom Edith in the hospital a long time ago when Katie was born. Why do I suddenly want to start singing The Circle of Life? Congratulations to the Shepherd/Lebrato clan, and many prayers for Katie and the baby!
• My dear friend Millie Simmons (Springfield Friends Meeting) asked for prayers for an unspoken need on Facebook yesterday. So I'm praying. Please join me.
• Scott Farris (Wesley Memorial UMC & Lisa Jewett's son) started a new job this week as an EMT, gaining experience as he heads towards his goal of becoming a firefighter. Congrats Scott, and best of luck to you!
• Leigh Ann Venable (Quaker Lake Camp) is at the end of her chemo treatments as she continues to kick cancer's butt. I marvel at her courage and her spirit, and pray often for her hubby Terry as well. Love and miss you both! #CancerStillSucks
• Teresa Reep Tysinger (FUMC-K) continues to move closer to one of her dreams in life, becoming a published author. I'm so excited for for and continue to pray that the long process will keep moving forward. She is a gifted writer who has worked hard for this, and I know we are all cheering for her success!!! Plus, word came yesterday that she is becoming a Daisy Scout leader. Prayers for everyone!!!  LOL
• Ann Saunders Baker (Springfield) shared this week that she has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I offer prayers and support to Ann- it's a disease I know a little too well! Also in the SFM family we continue to pray for Marie Allen Duke, whose due date for her new baby continues to draw near. Sending warm thoughts your was each and every day, Marie!
• Beth Vestal McGalliard (New Garden Friends Meeting) you are amazing and I love you. That just needed to be shouted this morning!
• A special Happy Birthday today to one of my favorite people, Hal Gastler (Wesley Memorial)! My extended family will celebrate lots of birthdays this month! Michelle Carroll on the 12th; Marilyn on the 16th; my Mom on the 17th; Scott Farris on the 23rd & Jerry Hanbery on the 30th.  And of course mine is this Tuesday, October 6th. Wondering what to get this old man (it's #56)? Funny you should ask...
• The great Save It or Shave It? competition ends a midnight on Tuesday! The bottom line here is that we are raising money for Lisa Jewett through a Go Fund Me page by allowing you to vote on the fate of my trademark moustache. Every $5 you donate earns you a vote; donate $100 and I'll double your vote total. So far my 'stache is safe, but you could change that! I'm also waiting on opinions from old friends like Tammy Foster & Steve Semmler, who actually knew me BEFORE the birth of the 'stache. I have noticed that the women who have voted or voiced an opinion all want to save it; the guys mostly seem to want it gone. So I'm guessing that means it's muy macho and a little intimidating to the fellows. :)  Anyway, if you want to give me a great birthday present, click HERE, donate and vote. Every $5 will help Lisa in her battle. And for those of you who have already stepped up big- THANK YOU!!! And BTW- Hal & Joanne Gastler, the judges have ruled that in honor of Hal's birthday your donation, even though it came before the contest ever started, earned you guys the full 80 votes! Cast them carefully!!! #SavetheStache

So that's it for today! I hope you have a great weekend, and that your lives will be filled with blessings. Peace, my friends!

Because of Jesus,

The Great Moustache Debate

As our dear friend Lisa Jewett continues her battle with cancer she is recovering from her last chemo treatment at our home. She's hanging in there; this time has not been quite as bad as the first so far. Prayers are always appreciated. And we are still trying to raise some money for her in the following bizarre way- my moustache is for sale!!! 

To make a bit more sense of today's challenge you may also want to read these posts...

Hall of Fame: Lisa Jewett   Be the Miracle   Save It or Shave It?   Betrayal!

The fate of my 35 year old moustache is still very much in doubt. As of this morning, Save It held a one vote lead over Shave It, meaning that between now and October 6th every $5 counts! Last Friday my son Will pleaded with you to vote for eradicating the 'stache in the name of everything holy. Today, I present opinions from two old friends who disagree with him. One is rational and well thought out. The other is Carl Semmler's. Carl said via email that he cannot understand how anyone could consider paying money to actually see MORE of my face. While I appreciate his desire to help save the moustache, as well as the truth behind his thought, his reasoning was quite hurtful. But that's OK, because Lisa likes his brother better! 

The second plea to save the 'stache comes from my good friend Teresa Tysinger. Teresa is a gifted writer who has used her talents to sway your opinion today- and to get you go to donate and vote! She speaks the truth...

Cancer isn't funny. It's not polite, well mannered, considerate, or even endearingly sarcastic. It sucks. But you know what doesn't suck? What cancer can't take away? Our desire and ability to rally together to fight. And we're not going to be polite, well mannered, considerate, or endearingly sarcastic on the battlefield. We're going to throw everything we've got at it and tell it to go pick on someone its own size. Cancer might not be funny, but our tactics can be. Carl is willing to auction off his mustache. That's pretty funny. He wants my take on it...my vote. 

The verdict? I'll make my donation to Lisa's Go Fund Me page, joined with my prayers for her complete healing, as a vote WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGAINST Carl doing away with the 'stache. Carl with no mustache is like imagining your grandma without her teeth. A hot dog without chili and slaw. Or one of those frightening furless cats. Let's be real. No one thinks they're cute. Carl's 'stache is part of his M.O. In a game of Guess Who? he's "Male with a Mustache." He's a member of an elite team, standing alongside Groucho Marx, Ron Burgundy, Burt Reynolds and Magnum P.I. Carl without his mustache is just...wrong. 

Do your part. First...give to Lisa's Go Fund Me page because you hate cancer and its rude ways. Give because you want Lisa to know she's not alone in her fight. Then, give in honor of unfortunately bald upper lips everywhere exposed unjustly in a moment of insanity. Fight cancer. And save the 'stache.  ~T.T.

How can you argue with such logic? I'd like to thank Teresa and acknowledge Carl for putting forth a defense of my moustache. (BTW- you may have noticed the 2 different spelling of the word- moustache & mustache. Teresa's is the common USAmerican version while "moustache" is the accepted British spelling. I'm just classy like like that!) But now comes the serious part, where you all give and vote. Do you stand with the 'stache, or are you like my good buddy Todd Willis who wants to see it GONE because his curiosity got he best of him? Only 9 days left to vote. Cast yours today!!!

A Great Day- and Then Betrayal!

Will Jones, Traitor

Yesterday was a really good day. In the early morning I posted my plan (Save It or Shave It?) to raise money for friend Lisa Jewett's Go Fund Me page by "selling" votes to save or shave my moustache at $5 each. As of today's posting we had attracted over $475 to the cause in one day. There were 44 votes to shave and 45 votes to save, plus an anonymous $250 donation worth 90 votes that could sway the entire contest if claimed. Then I spent the day with Lisa as she received her second chemo treatment, and everything went very smoothly. Things got even better when late in the afternoon I asked the nurse if the numbers had come back on the levels of cancerous cells in her blood work from the morning, and they had. In the 3 weeks since her first chemo the counts had been more than cut in half, meaning the chemo is working and working well! As we anticipate more of the rough days that follow such treatments, she will be spending the next few days at our house where I can keep an eye on her (just call me Nurse Carl). She was still feeling good late last night. Like I said...it was a good day.

There was only one fly in the ointment. I asked my son Will to write a brief post indicating his preference when it came to saving or shaving my moustache, hoping to encourage more gifts and more votes. Lisa and I expected him to sway people to save it, per her wishes. Instead, he sent me this slightly dramatic blurb:

There comes a day, when the repressed of the world must overcome. There comes a day when man can no longer be ruled by the precedent of what has come before or what has been, but must forge a new path for himself. Nay, a new path for the world. For a trailblazer as brave and courageous as this is not only rejecting the ideals of conformity, but whole-heartedly embracing the morals and themes that this great nation, this great world was forged upon. Our forefathers, and their forefathers before them, long dreamed of the day when man would no longer be faced with oppression. A day when man could stand squarely in the face of expectations and tribulations, without a drop of fear in his heart and say unto them, “I am man.” A day when the good-hearted people of this world would be free to live life as they see fit, not as others see fit. I say unto you my brothers and sisters: Today is that day.

The mustache must be vanquished, in the name of valor, in the name of justice, in the name of all that is holy. It must be done.  ~Will Jones

Well my dear son, I can only quote Caddyshack and say, "Tanks por nuffin'!" We want everyone to vote. We want you all to donate. And we really, really want you to ignore Will. Vote to save, not to shave! Thanks for all of the prayers you have sent Lisa's way and to all who have donated. God is Good. And to use Lisa's motto, "we are going to move this mountain!!!"  Have a wonderful weekend!

Because of Jesus,

Save It or Shave It?

Yesterday we lost my friend Lisa Ramos Moran- someone I have known since middle school- to cancer. This disease is pissing me off. And today I'm coming out swinging...

For the past few weeks we have been seeking to raise money through a Go Fund Me page for my bestie, Lisa Jewett. Lisa is fighting ovarian cancer and today, probably even as you read this post, she and I are at the Moffitt Cancer Center as she receives (hopefully) her second chemo treatment. Her faith and her courage are an inspiration to me and to all who know her, and we truly believe that God and the medical professionals are going to win this battle. Please keep her in your prayers today and for the next few days as she deals with the aftermath of this treatment. As the plan stands now, there will be one more of these in 3 weeks and then surgery and 8 weeks of recovery- then 3 more chemo treatments. It is a long road. We have faith. Lisa has a wonderful support system. What we need, to be blunt, is to raise some more money. Lisa has taught 1st grade for 22 years and accumulated over 80 sick days. Once those days are used, she will have no more regular income for the rest of the school year as she goes about the business of kicking cancer's butt. Even with insurance, we all know how expensive medical bills are. We need to get busy helping, which brings me to my point today. Where is it written that raising money for a wonderful person and a good cause cannot also be fun? It certainly wasn't written here!

A Rare "Before" Pic

When I was around 20 years old I grew a moustache. It had a lot of red in it (thanks, Mom!) and in the late 70s it was cool. Think Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds cool. That was over 35 years ago and my old friend is still with me and is mostly gray. I have been married 29 years and my wife has never seen me without it. Generations of youth group kids have never seen my upper lip. Like it or hate it, my moustache is an institution. If you've ever wondered what I would look like without it (or if you are one of the rare souls who still remember me ever being that young) then here is your chance to make it happen. You see, just for my Lisa, my moustache is for sale.

The Current State of the 'Stache

Here's how it's going to work. From today through October 6th (which happens to be my birthday) you can vote on whether the furry, now mostly gray caterpillar on on my face should stay or go. You will determine its fate. But there's a catch- votes must be purchased! For every $5 you give (and every $5 matters!) to Lisa's Go Fund Me account you earn one vote. Give $100 or more and I'll double the number of votes you receive, so $100 buys you 40 votes. After making a donation, simply enter YES (shave it!) or NO (save it!) in the comment box on her page and your votes will count. Or you can text, tweet or Facebook comment your votes to me- as long as you donate first! Corporate sponsors are welcome. Heck, donate $1000 and rig the whole thing if you like! It's silly I know- but I'm ready to do most anything to help my friend that I love so much. So click here ----> Lisa's Page - and let's get this party started!!!

Lisa and her granddaughter

Marilyn has always been a little nervous to see me without it. Lisa (and this is all about her!) has stated flat out she does NOT want me to shave it, in fact asking me to rig the vote to insure I keep it. So vote NO to support her wishes! But this is for real. Many of my former students have made fun of me for years for twirling it and for having it at all- so here's their chance to change that with YES votes! The voters will decide. Over the next few days there will be some "Guest" opinions shared here hoping to sway your vote. And of course, you are welcome to campaign as well. The big thing is that we all donate. On October 7th we will announce the results, and shortly thereafter we will video either a party for the salvation of my old friend or a ceremony shaving it & kissing it goodbye! You make the call, my friends. Do it for Lisa. Do it because #CancerSucks. Do it for my birthday. Just do it! Give. Vote. Pray. And let's do something special together. Love you guys.

Because of Jesus,