Lost Stars

Back in January I chose Comeback as my #OneWord365 for 2014. This was to be a year of comebacks in my life, and in many ways it has been. But I have also been reminded that the old cliche that says we take "one step forward and two steps back" got to be an old cliche because it is far too often the truth. So true, in fact, that I have begun to view the concept of a comeback as simply being able to reverse that process and take two steps forward to recover from each step in the wrong direction. We all struggle with forward motion...

On July 4th my wife Marilyn and I went to the movie theater to see the film Begin Again. You may not have heard much about this movie, and that is a real shame, because we found it to be brilliant. The cast, featuring Mark Ruffalo, Keira Knightly, Hailee Steinfeld and Adam Levine is superb. The film revolves around songwriters and music, and the original songs in the film captured my ear and my heart. So please, go see it. In a world full of Transformers, movies like Begin Again deserve our support.

But the real message of the film is one of comebacks. The characters have all faced disillusionment and disappointment in their personal and professional lives, and the movie chronicles their attempts to rebound from the same sorts of messes in which we all find ourselves. It is both encouraging and real. Not all comebacks are a success. The music video embedded below is from the movie- in fact it has three different versions in the film. This is the final one. I must confess I cannot stop listening to it, both this version and with Keira Knightly singing it. It asks a question that I find to be crucial to the idea of making a comeback from the things that drag us down. "Are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?" Life, love, relationships and dreams will all send us two steps back from time to time. How do we respond? And where do we find the courage to to forward again? I hope you will enjoy the song as much as I do. But more importantly I pray you will realize that even when things feel the darkest, it is within you to be a light in our world. The light doesn't burn out. It's just that sometimes we are all Lost Stars...

Taking a Step Towards #DangerDays

Every Tuesday I will be sharing a post about my 2014 theme of #DangerDays - risky, concrete steps we can take to be more like Jesus. If you'd be interested in writing one of these posts,  please contact me.

So there's this guy. I met him back in 2001 when we first moved to Tampa, and he and his family were a very important part of the church we came here to serve. Over the next 4 years we became great friends and confidants, participating in a men's group together in addition to other very strong connections. He and his wife had kids in the youth group and were extremely supportive of my ministry. I considered him one of my best friends in that church.

When I left that church he remained very supportive - for a time. As the issues between myself and the Rev. Not Appearing in This Blog (senior pastor) became more public, he sided with the pastor, and I understood. By the time my fall came in in 2007 he had removed himself from my life, but learning of my very public sin seemed to be the final straw. I wouldn't have known that except that his family wound up leaving that church as well and ending up at the same church we attend these days. For the past 3+ years our families have sat in the same worship service listening to a great pastor who often preaches grace and forgiveness as cornerstones of following Jesus. His wife has been very gracious and friendly to us on numerous occasions. His son always speaks to me. But this fine Christian man (and I mean that- he is a man of God and a great husband and father) has gone out of his way to never have any contact with me. I am persona non grata to him. It seems there will be no forgiveness coming from him for my transgressions. And I have to admit it bothers me. 

It bothers me because in the depths of my heart I really believe he should forgive me. I sinned. I repented. I gave public confessions. I did not slander others (when I easily could have) to help him see that there was more to the situation than he knows. I have given him time and space to get past my actions and have acknowledged that my actions must have felt like a betrayal of our friendship. And on days like this past Sunday, when our pastor spoke of Psalm 51 and the sins and confessions of David and how he was forgiven and even HONORED by God, I often glance across the room at this man and think, "What IS your problem?" How can a man who claims to be (and is!) such a strong believer have so little grace and forgiveness in his heart for me? And in my heart, I judge him.

No doubt you see the problem by now. In all of my worry and fear about why he has never forgiven me for the things I did, I have begun to refuse to forgive him for the way he has treated me. I was a sinner and that offended him. His unwillingness to forgive offends me. And we are both offending Jesus through our actions.

I need to take my first step into the #DangerDays of 2014. It is time for me to forgive him and seek to honor him with the love of God whose name is Jesus by going to him and simply being friendly. It will do no good to offer him words of forgiveness- he most likely has no idea what he needs to be forgiven for at this point. But I can offer words of grace and of friendship. He may not accept them. He may reject me. And even after all this time, that will hurt. But part of taking risks in our walk with Christ is being willing to suffer for doing the right things. The right things are for me to pray for him, to take the first step and go him in friendship, and to forgive him in my heart. So I will. I know it will lift a burden from me, and be one more step down the road to my #COMEBACK. It won't be easy to approach him, so pray for me and give me some shoves in the right direction so that I will get this done this month.

And remember- sometimes we are so focused on receiving forgiveness for the things we have done that we fail to forgive those who do not forgive us. It's a trap. Followers of Jesus are called to hand out grace & forgiveness like they are potato chips from a bottomless bag. Everybody needs more than one! I want to be willing to step out in faith and be that potato chip guy. Join me?

Because of Jesus,

One Word: Comeback

Many of you know by now that my theme for 2014 here on this blog is #DangerDays - exploring new ways to step out in faith and live on the edge for Jesus. In addition to that theme to keep me focused, several of my friends have challenged me to participate in the One Word 365 program, in which you choose one word that you will focus on for an entire year. After giving it much thought and prayer, I have chosen my word. And that word is COMEBACK. 

As I thought about what it means to make a COMEBACK, to bounce back from what seem like insurmountable odds and come out a winner, I was reminded of some of the great comebacks in sports history. The Buffalo Bills coming from 32 points behind to beat the Houston Oilers in a 1993 playoff game. The Tampa Rays coming from a 7 run deficit in the 9th inning to beat the Yankees, make the playoffs and eliminate the Boston Red Sox in 2011. Those same Red Sox rallying from a 3 game hole to beat the Yankees 4 straight times and go to the World Series in 2004. But the most memorable of all comebacks (for me) took place on March 2, 1974. I grew up a huge ACC basketball fan, and more importantly a devout supporter of University of North Carolina Tar Heels. On this particular date they were playing arch rival Duke. This being way before ESPN, I was listening to the game on the Carolina Basketball Radio Network, with the incomparable Woody Durham doing the play-by-play. With some helpful reminders via Wikipedia, this is what I heard that Saturday afternoon.

Duke led 4th ranked Carolina 86–78 with 17 seconds left. Despite the deficit and despite the fact that the game took place prior to the three-point shot being introduced, UNC rallied with a pair of free throws by Bobby Jones (no relation..dang it!), then baskets by John Kuester and Jones after a steal by Walter Davis and a turnover on an in-bounds attempt. After Duke's Pete Kramer missed the front end of a one-and-one, Carolina tied the score on Davis' 30-foot bank shot as time expired. Woody Durham was so excited I couldn't even understand the call as Davis' shot tied the game. The Heels had made up eight points in seventeen seconds. It was surreal. The game went into overtime, where Carolina prevailed 96–92. Many regard this comeback as the greatest in college basketball history. In fact, to this day you can hear announcers who know their history remind you to never change the channel until the final horn blows, because "UNC once made up 8 points in 17 seconds against Duke." It is a reminder to never, ever give up. A COMEBACK is always possible...

If you know my history at all, then you know that nearly 7 years ago I was counted out by myself and by others. My personal failures put me in a deep hole out of which I could not climb. Since then I have repented, grown, learned, explored and sought to get myself back in the game. I have come to understand that I was NEVER counted out by God. And the deficit has been narrowed. Through the love and grace of God and so many friends I feel like I have made great progress, but in order to come all the way back I need a Walter Davis moment. To complete my COMEBACK, I need to hit the big shot. And that is what 2014 is about for me. Stepping out, trusting Jesus, risking new things and hitting the shot that will complete my COMEBACK. As Michael Jordan once famously said, "You miss all the shots you don't take." If I am to complete my COMEBACK, then there are going to be #DANGERDAYS. I am going to have to trust my life, all of the failures as well as the successes, to Jesus. It's time to be bold. I have no idea exactly what all this means to my life. It might be resolution of legal issues, a new ministry, new relationships or just a fresh start. I am not sure where I am going...but I know it's where Jesus is leading me.

And by the way...I am not willing to settle for a tie. Overtime is not an option. Walter's shot would now be a 3 pointer. I'm going for the win. :)

Because of Jesus,