Real Relationships Last A Real Long Time

Only one of these 3 is not currently a mommy.
They do grow up...

This may come as a surprise to many of you.  It certainly has surprised me.  Even after 52 years of life, God can still knock my socks off.  Over the past few months, not due to any effort on my own part, I have found myself back in youth ministry. I don't work for a church.  I don't have a job.  In fact, I do not have any students I am working with.  But I am back in student ministry.  It's just that now many of  my "youth" have gone zipping right past their 30th birthdays.  They are dads and moms, husbands and wives, teachers and lawyers.  They are the same people I loved and shared life with in the 1980s and 90s at Springfield Friends Meeting and the First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee.  They have been seeking me out, as they did when they were teenagers, to share in their joys and their struggles.  They just need someone they trust who will listen. And through these experiences I have been reminded of a few valuable lessons.


The struggles that we have as teenagers seem so important.  They seem like life and death matters when we are going through them.  And youth pastors help students survive these times and reach for the Light (Jesus) at the end of the tunnel.  It is an important time in life, and youth pastors serve a valuable role.  But the truth is, life does not get easier if we survive adolescence.  It gets more difficult.  Those puppy love heartbreaks that haunt teens become broken marriages in adults.  Academic struggles from high school become unemployment issues in adults.  Decisions that effect your life as a young person becomes decisions that change the world for your family as an adult.  The former youth I have been talking with over the past few months are all dealing with serious real life issues- both good and bad.  And they come to me because they know I will listen and they know I will offer them support.  They trust in this because it was always so.  They know my struggles and failures; some even think the things I have been through will help me understand them.  I don't have this relationship with all of my former youth, but I do believe that most of them feel like they could come to me at any time for love and encouragement, and I would "be there" for them.  God has made it clear to me that my charge to be in ministry to these folks who left youth group as far back as 25 years ago is still intact.  Our bond is still strong because it was forged in the fires of the family of God.  And I feel blessed to still be a part of their lives.


The second thing I have been reminded of is the reason for the first- relational youth ministry is forever!  Programs fade.  Bible studies are forgotten.  Flashy worship services drift away in our memories.  But the relationships that youth pastors build with students have the potential to last forever.  We strive to make a difference in the name of Jesus, and that is our constant goal.  But I continue to believe, now more than ever, that we best communicate the love of Jesus by loving students, and those relationships should not end with a graduation or a change of churches.  Real relationships last a real long time, I was once taught. Almost every day I get a call or an email confirming that.  It amazes me that God is still using me in their lives.  It amazes me that 5 years after leaving youth ministry I am realizing that if you have done it well, perhaps you CANNOT leave youth ministry.  The students just grow up.  And maybe- just maybe- they actually need us more than ever.  I used to worry about a 5 year strategic plan for my ministry.  In fact, my 30 year plan was already in place- building relationships.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Because of Jesus,