The Sit-In

The early 1980's were a strange time to be a 21 year-old, socially concerned seeker/christian trying to find his way in the world.  In November 1980, Ronald Reagan was elected and my roommates and I strongly considered moving to Canada (just so you know, this was not simply politics for me; I was a registered republican at the time and I voted for John Anderson, a republican who ran as an independent.  It was just that Reagan scared us to death!).  In December 1980 John Lennon was shot and an icon of the peace and justice movement was dead.  By 1982 Reagan had declared it was "morning in America" (which was true if you happened to be white and have money) and the country was in an extreme conservative swing.  Worse, at least for me, was that the church was becoming completely immersed in politics.  Jerry Falwell and the Moral Majority and Ralph Reed and the Christian Coalition had been a great help to the Reagan campaign, and now they were using their power to urge congress to pass more "christian" legislation.  On the national stage Christianity became less about what Jesus taught and more about conservative politics.  And if you dared disagree with them, you were quickly declared both unchristian and un american, which they saw as the same thing.  For example, the Moral Majority worked tirelessly against the re-election of Sen. Mark Hatfield of Oregon, despite the fact that he was one of the most outspoken evangelical Christians in the Senate.  His flaw?  He was for disarmament and a World Peace Tax Fund.  To paraphrase the great Tom Leher,  it takes a certain amount of guts to get up and speak out on behalf of peace and justice and brotherhood and all the other things those people are against!  Strange days indeed...

In the midst of these changing times, Quakers in North Carolina were changing too.  For years, the Young Friends (7th-12th grade students) of NC Yearly Meeting had been primarily controlled by students who went to Quaker Lake for summer camp, many of whom also attended New Garden Friends Meeting. (For those of you who are regular readers, you will know that those are the two ministries I worked for at the time, so I was double trouble!)This began to shift in the early '80's as the leadership at the top of the Yearly Meeting began to change.  When the position of Youth and Christian Education Director for NCYM came open, the search committee went outside of NCYM, passing over several local candidates and hiring David Tebbs from Ohio.  Over the next few years David and I disagreed on many things, but I always had the ultimate respect for him as a leader and as a Christ-follower, and we eventually became good friends.  At about the same time, Jerry Cannady was installed as the new head of the Young Friends Activities Committee, which controlled the planning for all NCYM youth events except Quaker Lake summer camp.  Jerry was a large, angry pastor who had no interest in youth- he was put in place to put us (the Quaker Lake and New Garden crowds) in our place. He did not have our respect on any level, and he made it clear he didn't like us at all.   A showdown was inevitable.

The showdown came at Yearly Meeting (a once a year, statewide gathering of Quakers), August 1982 at Guilford College.  For several years, part of the program had been the showing of the Quaker Lake slide show from the the recently completed summer camping season.  The campers who also attended this event looked forward to it, and others came in just for the slide show presentation.  On this particular occasion, the slide show was the last event of the day on the next to the last day of the sessions.  For those who attended camp, the slide show was often a very emotional event, and this year was no exception.  At the conclusion, before anyone connected with QLC could say anything, Jerry Cannady jumped to his feet and announced that it was time for everyone to go back to the dorms, and that there was to be total silence as we did so.  We were stunned.  No time to visit and chat about what we had just experienced.  No time to go back through the slides and take them in more slowly, without the soundtrack.  Jay Osborne, the Presiding Clerk (that's Quaker for chairman or president) of the Young Friends spoke up and asked if those who wanted to could watch it again.  He was told NO in a most unpleasant way.  As people began to get up and leave in silence, Jay and I did not move.  Neither did many others.  Jerry began yelling at us and using some distinctively un-Quaker language, demanding that we get out and go to our dorms.  And still we sat there.  A long, ugly discussion ensued that let us know in no uncertain terms that things were changing.  Those of us who found our expressions of faith more in the peace and equality and searching for Truth were now being dictated to by those who saw everything in black and white; and we had just been declared part of the darkness.

I don't really remember how it all ended that night; I don't think we saw anymore slides.  My own theology and beliefs, so young at the time, have certainly changed since then. 
But what I really remember is my good friend Jay Osborne, age 17 or so, (yes, the same Jay who dropped my guitar off the roof of the QLC lodge!) staying seated to "stand up" for his beliefs and his friends.  I was proud to sit with him and all the others. To this day, I feel bonded to Jay by that moment, and it is something I will never forget.   We knew challenges lay ahead for us, and we were right.  Winter Camp was coming to Quaker Lake in December, and we were afraid of what was going to happen at that place we all loved so much.  The storm clouds were gathering- and I was about to have one of the great spiritual experiences of my life.  But that's tomorrow's story...

Because of Jesus,

Create In Me

It's another Sunday, another day to praise God and be amazed by the grace He gives us through Jesus Christ.  But yet...I wonder.  Now that I am no longer in professional ministry, what is God's plan for me.  Am I still of use to Him despite my status as a "notorious sinner?"  What is my "place in this world?"  Some days I doubt, and sometimes I despair.  But mostly, I remember the words of the psalmist in Psalm 51 when he prays "create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me."  Lois Cheney captures my doubt about my worthiness to serve the Savior in her classic (but sadly, out of print) 1969 devotional book God Is No Fool.  One of my favorite passages, read on Youth Sundays by dozens of students over the years, reminds me that I walk the same path as so many others who doubted they had anything to offer God.  Listen to her words:

Moses said, "Oh come on now!  Be sensible!  I'm a terrible speaker.  They'd never listen to me."  And God said, "Oh for crying out loud!  OK, I'll use your brother to help with the speaking."  And Moses led God's people out of disintegration.

Jonah said, "Oh come on now!  Be sensible!  Not me!  I'm not the type."  And after a rather unexpected vacation in a fish, just thinking things over, he talked to God's people and led them God's way- even though he wasn't happy about it.

And Zacharias said, "Oh come on now! Be sensible!  Not me!  My wife and I are too old to have any kids."  And God said, "Oh shut up!"  And he did shut up- for nine months.  And John was born, and the way for the Christ opened up.

And I heard a child say

"I can't serve God, I'm too young."

And I heard a boy say

"I can't serve God, I'm not good enough."

And I hear a woman say

"I can't serve God I'm not skilled enough."

And I heard a man say

"I can't serve God I'm not pure enough."

I wonder if God ever gets any new problems...

The great songwriter Mary Rice Hopkins wrote "Create in me a clean heart, oh God, that I might serve You."  My prayer on this day of worship echos her words.  May God open our eyes and our hearts to what He has in store for each of us.

Because of Jesus,

The Next Big Thing

Early on in my ministry I began to understand that the missing link in most youth ministries at the time was communication.  Letting students and parents know what was going on, what was coming up, and what they needed to do about it was a new concept in the fly by the seat of your pants world of youth work.  Sometime in the year after David Stone turned me on to the concept of Wholistic Youth Ministry (that is ministry to the whole person- body, soul, mind and spirit) I began to actually plan months in advance for YFYF programs.  As part of that planning, I began doing a monthly newsletter that we mailed to the home of every youth on our roster- active or not.  The first objective of this newsletter was to inform.  My theory was that it would inform much better if it was actually something the students wanted to read, so I set out to make it creative and exciting.  Missionaries use the quote "empty bellies have no ears" to explain how hard it is to share the Gospel with a starving person until you feed them.  No matter how great a youth ministry you build, it is worthless if no one shows up.  So we needed to excite them! I used names of active youth in the articles; I hid inside jokes and contests in the body of the letter; and I tried to give catchy, creative names to everything I could.  For instance, one Sunday a month we would go to a local fast food restaurant instead of just having snacks.  We just said we were going to Burger Doodle, and that name stuck no matter where we went.  We also tried to keep sameness, tameness and lameness (with apologies to Jesse Jackson) out of our ministry.  We hoped the kids were never quite sure what would happen each Sunday afternoon.  I soon discovered it was working.  We were almost hip!  Do you know how hard it is for Quakers to be hip?  Students who rarely showed up for YFYF were talking to me about the newsletter.

The second objective was to get them excited about things that were still to come, things that we wanted them to look forward to.  I began to think of this as the ministry of The Next Big Thing.  Did we have a trip coming up in a few months?  Were we going to see Ghandi or having a Marathon soon?  Did we have a Polaroid Panic planned or a guest speaker coming?  Anything I could think of that we could plug as a way to keep students anticipating was featured in the newsletter.  This, in turn, forced us as leaders to plan in advance.  It all seems so basic now, but at the time youth ministry was just coming of age and this was pretty radical stuff!  And it worked...

Over the years the methods of communication changed.  There would be summer booklets, telephone hotlines (like 847-XLAX in Kissimmee) and websites.  But they all served the same purpose- to keep parents and students up to date, and to hype The Next Big Thing.  I was always looking for ways to inject my sense of humor into these things, and in the early New Garden Friends Meeting years I did it by ending each newsletter with "and remember..."  I looked back through some of those letters, (Yes, I still have them- I know, I am pathetic!) and here are some of the actual things I wrote for those students to remember:

• An apple a day keeps the doctor away...but an onion takes care of everybody!
• It is better to give than to receive...unless,of course, you are Darek Newby!
• He who lives in a glass house...should dress in the bathroom!
• A bird in the hand...BITES!
• March 20-26 is International Youth Leaders Are Great People Week.  It is also International Pickle Week.  So in another YFYF first, we proudly bring you International Buy Your Youth Leader A Pickle Week!  We prefer dills!  And a happy April Fools Day to all of you!
• A day without sunshine is like...NIGHT! (Thanks, Steve Martin)

Those early days were exciting, and I will never forget what it was like to grow up right along side my students.  I owe that group so much.  They taught me so much about communicating with youth.  But I still had lots to learn.  It would be several more years before I figured out that if I made a newsletter the right size to fit on the back of a toilet, even more people would read it!  Until next time...

And remember:  This blog is like toilet paper.  You may not need it every day, but it's always here- and if it's not, you will really miss it!

S.C.U.B.A.

Creativity has always been (and in my opinion always will be) a crucial part of youth ministry.  Young Life founder Jim Rayburn's admonition that "it is a sin to bore a youth with the Gospel" rings true to me, and so I have always tried to be as creative as possible with programs, events and even the names I give to such things.  In the early 1980's we were trying to start a Wednesday night Bible study at New Garden Friends Meeting without much success.  Interest from the kids was very limited, but I felt this new program was important to our "wholistic" ministry.  As time came to crank this program up, I needed a name that would get students to notice.  After much debate, I decided to call it S.C.U.B.A.  This stood for "Spiritual Concepts and Understanding Biblical Approaches."  And it worked!  I would love to tell you that it worked because we prayed over the program and God blessed it, and this is true.  I would love to take full credit, saying my inspirational teaching made it a success.  But the truth is, the name worked to capture the attention of the youth because it was based on an off-color joke of the day.  The joke I don't remember, but I do remember what S.C.U.B.A. stood for in it- Sex conducted underwater by appointment.  It became such a counter-cultural thing to see S.C.U.B.A. printed in the church bulletin each week.  It became an inside joke our students could laugh about together. It also helped that we studied scripture, C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters, debated nuclear power and many other topics of interest.  Attendance kept improving, and the Bible study kept getting better, until it became a very important part of our program.  And then one Wednesday night, without warning, it became part of our YFYF (Young Friends Youth Fellowship) history.

At this point in our ministry at New Garden things were going really well.  There was a lot of excitement and lots of new faces.  But I was still in hot pursuit of one face that I just could not seem to get interested.  Kathy Fountain was an exceptional young woman whose family was active at New Garden.  She and her younger brothers David and Tim were active in lots of groups and activities- but YFYF was not on their schedules.  Kathy was the same age as a group that would rank high on any list of the best single graduating classes I ever had- Marshall Ratledge, Terri Johnson, Kathryn Burris, Linc Dewar. Kim Winters, Matt Mason, Ling Lee, Pam Dent, Jay Wilkins and others I am sure I am leaving out.  I had called Kathy, sent her cards, talked to her on Sunday mornings...everything I could think of to try and arouse her interest, but she simply had too much going on.  And after a while, I decided if she didn't need YFYF, then I should quit pushing.  I continued to pray for her (and all of the students- that didn't change over the years) but otherwise I just let it go.  And then one Wednesday night at S.C.U.B.A. she just walked in, sat down, and joined in the the discussion.  From that point forward, she became not only part of our group, but almost immediately became one of our leaders.  And the ministry became important to her as well.  So much so that down the road a few years she married Dann Newby, another one of our student leaders (and the best "Devil's Advocate" ever! Dann could take the side of Hitler in a discussion and convince you he was just misunderstood...).  After a name change, Dann and Kathy Newfont are still going strong!

So what do we learn from all of this?  First and foremost we learn that God can take anything, no matter how silly or poorly thought out, and use it for His glory.  We can also deduce that God is present in our creativity, and when we are open to His leadings, God will use even the smallest things to change our lives.  I just know that through a chain of events that began with an off-color joke, which became a Bible study and then a discussion group that drew Kathy to us, the ministry of New Garden was blessed, and the Kingdom of God was lifted up.  God used Noah, Moses, David and Peter- all famous failures.  And God can use us.  We may be crazy at times, but it all works if we just let go- because God is no fool.

Because of Jesus,

The Real Jesus

 A little over a week ago I was involved in a discussion with a couple of guys who are having a hard time these days. Work is scarce, and they are in situations that make life very complicated. We talked about all kinds of things covering many areas of interest, but eventually the talk turned to church. Neither of these guys are big church-goers, but they know my background and they had some issues they wanted to raise with me. It seems in their experiences, church has not been a place of healing or comfort. It has not been a center of love and forgiveness. It has been a place where they were made to feel like second class citizens because they had no money to give. It has been a place where they were told that if they really were Christians, God would bless them- implying they couldn't be followers of Jesus and still be having problems in their lives. In short, the church has failed them. And they asked a very insightful question: Why does the church sometimes seem to be more about traditions, politics and money than it is about Jesus?

We often refer to the church as an institution, and unfortunately, I believe we are too often correct. It is bound by policy and leadership and tradition, and it has become a very sanitized place. For those of us who are USAmericans (everyone who lives in North or South America is an American; why do we claim that title for ourselves?) it seems we have turned Jesus into a wimp; a toothless, republican voting white guy who is against all kinds of things, and for almost nothing. This is not the Jesus of the scriptures. This is not the the Jesus who hung out with sinners and the people society scorned; this is not the Jesus who shouted down church leaders; and this is not the Jesus who gave up His seat next to God to come to earth and die for us, that we might be reconnected with the Father. We may not want to hear it, but if the church is misrepresenting Jesus, then we are failing at the only mission we have. We need to show the people around us "the real Jesus" if we want them to understand and follow the Christ. Our pastor, Matthew Hartsfield, is fond of saying "we are God's Plan A for taking Jesus to the world- and there is no Plan B."

So who is "the real Jesus?" The band Downhere wrote a song in 2006 that attempts to answer the question, and I believe they were painfully honest and very close to the truth. Maybe it's because they are Canadian, but they have attacked the myths and want us to see who we really follow. The lyrics are below. The song is called The Real Jesus.

Jesus on the radio, Jesus on a late night show, Jesus in a dream, looking all serene
Jesus on a steeple, Jesus in the Gallup poll, Jesus has His very own brand of rock and roll
Watched Him on the silver screen, Bought the action figurine
But Jesus is the only name that makes you flinch

Oh, can anybody show me the real Jesus?
Oh, let Your love unveil the mystery of the real Jesus

Jesus started something new, Jesus coined a phrase or two
Jesus split the line at the turning point of time
Jesus sparked a controversy, Jesus, known for His mercy, gave a man his sight
Oh Jesus isn't white!
Jesus loves the children, holds the lambs, Jesus prays a lot
Jesus has distinguishing marks on His hands

If anybody walks behind the Good Shepherd, If anybody holds the hands that heal lepers
And if you recognize the eyes that see forever, please...show me 
Oh, can anybody show me the real Jesus? Oh, let Your love unveil the glory, the real Jesus
Oh, can anybody show me the real Jesus? Oh, let Your love unveil the glory of the real Jesus, the real Jesus

The modern church gets so wrapped up in numbers, in politics, in denominations and in theology. In my ministry, imperfect though it was, I tried to make sure that the students understood one very basic truth- It's All About Jesus! The institution we call the church sometimes forgets that. The guys I was speaking with have just about given up on the church. I pray they don't do the same with Jesus, because in the world we live in, the two are not always related...may God have mercy on us.


Because of Jesus,

The Big Five-0

It's finally here. The day so many dread. The day that inspired me to begin this blog so I could tell my stories before I got too old to remember them! The day that is anything but "nifty." Yes, dear readers, today is the day I turn 50.

As I have mentioned here before, age has never been a big deal to me. For many years I had a button on the bulletin boards in my various offices that read I'm not old, I'm a recycled teenager, and for the most part I still feel that way. Let's take a moment and look back at where I was on previous landmark birthdays and see what was happening in my life.

On my 16th birthday my parents threw a surprise party for me in the old Fellowship Hall at New Garden Friends Meeting, complete with with all my best friends, ice cream cake and a Hot Wheels car (because there was no way I was getting a real one!). I have no real memory of my 18th or 21st, but number 30 was a surprise party thrown as part of a Progressive Dinner with Springfield Friends Meeting. At the time 30 seemed very old, and that is when I received the aforementioned button. On my 40th birthday I started the day at 6 AM with a group of guys in Kissimmee- Nate Hill, Jacob Lupfer and Ben Thompson- at Denny's, where none of them knew (or remembered) it was my birthday. Which brings us to number 50...

As you can tell, for the most part birthdays are not a big deal to me, I think in part because my life has been so full of special moments and events. Some people only get to celebrate life on special occasions- most of my life has been a special occasion. So many friends, so many trips, so many memories- I have been very blessed. I wrote this past Sunday about such an event just last weekend. So today I will thank God for the "presents" that I receive every day of my life. I am thankful for His love, and the grace and forgiveness that comes through His Son Jesus. I am thankful for my incredible wife, without whom my life would be a total mess. I am thankful for my son Will, who keeps me young and makes me laugh. I am thankful for my Mom and for Marilyn's family who have stuck by me no matter what. And I am thankful for 50 years worth of friends and youth who have made my life amazing in so many ways.

Today I celebrate being 50 years old. My faith and my family are strong, and I look forward to a future that continues to be full of joy, laughter and love. My prayer today is that your lives will be as blessed as mine.

Because of Jesus,

Communion Confusion

Youth Ministry is often about being bold and taking chances, and certainly over the years I did my share of both. One of the boldest things I ever did took place at New Garden Friends Meeting on a Youth Sunday in 1983, and I want to tell you the story. But first, a history lesson!

The Society of Friends (Quakers) began in Great Britain in the 1650's as a movement away from the Church of England. George Fox (often called the founder of Quakerism- truth is, he had no intention of founding anything! He, like John Wesley and others, just wanted the Anglican Church to get off its collective butt!) had an astounding revelation one day- that he didn't need all the pomp and traditions of the church to connect to Jesus. He could go straight to the source. His defining statement said that he realized that "there is One- even Christ Jesus- who can speak to my condition." As he began to "walk cheerfully about the world, answering to that of God in everyone" people began to follow him, and eventually the Society of Friends was born. In response to the lifelessness they saw in the established church, they went in a radical new direction. All people were to be ministers, because everyone has access to Jesus, which also means that all people are equal. They eschewed many of the traditions of the church, including the sacraments, because in their eyes they had become meaningless rituals. They came to believe that Christianity is a life you live, not a creed you profess. So to bring you up to speed quickly, they were arrested in large numbers, brought before judges, trembled in the presence of God and got nicknamed Quakers (as an insult at first) because of that, escaped to the new world for religious freedom, were hung in Boston Commons for practicing religious freedom, founded Pennsylvania, made some oatmeal and are still around today, though not in very large numbers (As an aside, Marilyn recently joined a group on Facebook called I Bet I Can Find 1,000,000 Quakers on Facebook. Take that bet! There are not a million Quakers in the world, much less on Facebook. But I digress...). Whew!

Quakers did not just randomly do away with baptism and communion. Today many longtime Friends will tell you that "Quakers don't believe in those things." That would be wrong. The belief is that when Jesus broke the bread and passed the cup in the Upper Room and said "every time you do this, think of Me" the intent was not to establish a ritual, but rather for us to think of Him every time we gather, every time we eat. We should be constantly in communion with Christ. It's called Communion after the manner of Friends, and it is often a period of quiet meditation and prayer. With baptism, John the Baptizer said "I baptize with water, but One comes who will baptize you with the Holy Spirit." Again, the idea is that the water is an outward symbol of an inward act. It's not about being sprinkled or dunked; it's all about Jesus! This is not to say Quakers have it right. I just wanted you to understand so my story can be more dramatic!

So it's a Youth Sunday in 1983, and I decide to do something outlandish. It seemed to me at the time (and still today, I might add) that NOT having communion like most of the Christian world had become our new ritual. Most could not explain why we didn't have it. Most thought the idea of passing the bread and the cup was somehow in violation of the law of George Fox- and there is no law of George Fox, a fact that has always caused considerable trouble among Friends. But with the support of our pastoral minister David Bills (an Influences post about David is coming later this week) the youth decided to serve communion at New Garden, the last place you would expect it to happen. We explained why we were doing it. We were honoring our Quaker heritage. We were breaking out of a ritual. We were...well it just didn't matter, because many people were not happy about it. I caught lots of flack and even a bit of abuse. But it was sooooo worth it, because it opened a great discussion in the Meeting. And it helped establish one of my primary philosophies of student ministry- that the youth of the church are not just cute teenagers. We shouldn't just be happy that they show up, or that they will stand in front of the church and sing. Youth have something to say, and the church had better listen. I believed it then, and I believe it even more today. And every church I have served since has gotten that lecture...

The next time you are taking communion, remember what it means. Remember why you do it. And the next time you aren't "taking" communion in a Friends Meeting, remember why not. Remember that in both cases, it's all about what Jesus has done for us. In my humble opinion, if we do that, we can't be wrong. Even if you serve it to a Quaker youth group at Myrtle Beach and use OJ and Krispy Kreme doughnuts...but that is a story for another day!

Because of Jesus,