Starting Over: The Youth Meeting

Today my thoughts and prayers are with all of those who have served and are serving in our armed forces.  Happy Veteran's Day!  Your sacrifice is much appreciated!


This is post #4 in my continuing Friday series answering Chris Cooper's question, "What would I do if I were starting over in Student Ministry today?" Previous posts include If I Were Starting Over, Strategery and Ask Someone Who Knows.   If you have questions about student ministry and think I can be of help, shoot me an email or find me on Twitter @youthguy07. Enjoy!

Ever have an Egyptian Mummy Race?  You should!

My 16 year old son Will is taking an AP physics class this year that really should be kicking his butt.  The class is very difficult and involves a great deal of math, which he (just like Daddy) hates!  But instead he loves the class and is actually doing quite well.  The reason?  His teacher really understands teenagers.  He understands that the overload of information he is trying to impart to them is not something that he can just fling at them and expect them to learn.  He is creative.  He is entertaining.  He understands that the average student attention span is about 12 minutes (Will tells me that he actually pauses for a "commercial break" about every 12 minutes to let their brains reboot).  And perhaps most importantly, he understands that class should be different everyday, surprising students and keeping them on their toes.  Mr. Shelton knows that "tameness, sameness and lameness" are the enemies of educating young people.  He would make a wonderful youth pastor...


I have said before that one of the best qualities of the youth ministries I led over the years was that the kids would often arrive at our youth meetings with no idea of what was going to happen that evening.  They knew there would be some sort of lesson, but they had no idea what form it might take.  It was rarely in the form of a sermon.  Studies have proven over and over again that lecturing is the least effective form of teaching, and yet it continues to be the #1 method of teaching used in churches. I usually had things to say, but we also used a lot of role plays, skits, video, small group activities and interactive activities to communicate the evening's message.  Creativity was a key.  But we also never let the message be the only important part of the meeting.  There were often games and stunts- silly things to help newcomers and those not yet comfortable with our spiritual focus to feel included and welcomed.  There was almost always a time of worship to help us focus on praising Jesus.  And there all kinds of others random things that we included from time to time just to keep the students wondering what might happen next.  This was what my primary Sunday evening youth fellowship meetings looked like for the better part of 28 years.  And if I were starting over today...I wouldn't change a dang thing!  Planning and creativity insure that the content will change.  But the format would not.  There will be no "tameness, sameness and lameness."  That's a promise!


One question I am often asked is this: How do you control the flow of a youth meeting when you include so many elements?  If you get the students wound up playing games or doing goofy skits, how do you then bring them back to a focus on a lesson or quieted down for worship?  I have 2 suggestions for those who ask.  First, there has to be a plan.  It needs to feel wild to the students, but the leadership must know the schedule- and every minute should be scheduled!  It's what my friend Brent Bill once called "organized chaos."  Included in that schedule are transitions that move the group from phase to phase, either building enthusiasm or calming them down.  Video works well as a transition device, but the best transition for me was always music.  Sometimes this was music played over the sound system, but more often it was in the form of group singing.  We would do wild songs to get everyone pumped; we would do praise songs when we wanted to begin to set the mood for worship; and we would do worship songs to help us come before God.  I often told people that if you gave me a guitar, I could move a group from The Technicolor Stomp (ask if you don't know!) to contemplative worship and singing Sanctuary in 10 minutes, and they would never even know they had taken the trip.  :)  It may not be music for you, but whatever it is you must find ways to transition if you want to use the "wholistic" model of youth meetings.


This is only my opinion, and there are lots of ways to approach youth meetings. Part of your plan will depend upon what else you have going on in your student ministry. Is there a Bible study opportunity for more serious students?  Are there extra fellowship opportunities?  Do you have a primary program for the purpose of service?  All of this comes in to play when deciding what your primary youth fellowship will look like.  I just know that if I were be doing youth ministry at age 90, I would never want to fall into the trap of "the same things happens every week."  And there would never, ever be any math...


Because of Jesus,

Ask Someone Who Knows

This is post #3 in my series attempting to address the question, "What would I do if I were starting a youth ministry from scratch- today?"  To read the introduction to this series simply click here.

Just hangin' with the gang! This is Youth Ministry!

Once you've got a Strategery in place when starting a youth ministry from scratch, the first question you have to answer is this: "Where am I going to find some youth?"  For many years the traditional answer to this question was to offer good programs- and they will come.  The will come because it is normal to go to church. They will come because their parents will make them.  They will come because their friends do.  They will come because they don't have many options.  The task of the youth pastor was not so much to get them to come, but to keep them coming back.  Those days are gone.  I look at my son and his friends.  He (and many of them) attend church on a regular basis, but only a few are involved in a student ministry.  My own son is not.  Why is this?  Contrary to the popular myths floating around in youth ministry circles, many of them choose not to go because there are too few pizza parties and too few relationships being built.  They worship in church.  They do service hours for school.  What they lack is a community that shares life together, meeting at a time when busy students can actually attend.  And far too many student ministries don't offer that anymore.   But I digress.   Our little start up is going to need something major to get it kick-started- and here's how I would begin.


About a month ( I am assuming am October kick-off) before our first Sunday evening youth meeting, I would go to all of the local eateries where teenagers hang out - Yogurtology, Steak 'N' Shake, Dairy Queen, Tijuana Flats, the local Mall Food Court- and ask for permission to post some signs.  The signs would simply read, Ask Someone Who Knows!, and then give the date of our first meeting.  That's all.  I would put signs everywhere I could get permission to put them.  I would purchase ads in the local high school football programs.  I might even try to get someone to donate a billboard!  I would want the entire community to go wild with curiosity over the simple phrase Ask Someone Who Knows!  Then for the next 3 weeks I would go with the students I already know (many of whom work at those very hang-outs) and be at the schools, at the hang-outs and any other place I could introduce myself to teenagers.  And then 1 week before our first meeting, there would be an event.  There would be adults and teenagers at every location we had targeted, and they would all be wearing buttons that say I Know.  We'd be handing out info to anyone who was interested, trying to build momentum for our first meeting.  After that, I would continue to rotate my "office space" to those same locations every afternoon after school to continue to build relationships with the kids.  The initial response would most likely not be huge, but we would have made our main  points- we are here and we care!!!   In the end, youth ministry in 2011 is not about how many teenagers you can get to come to a function at church.  It's about how many students you can impact by being on their turf.  Churches should actually limit the number of hours a professional youth pastor can spend in his/her office.  It's no longer "if you build it they will come."  Our new mantra should be "they are out there- now take Jesus to them!"  


So that's how I would start.  There are hundreds of other options, and this is the opinion of only one man.  But on this blog, it's the only opinion that matters!  :)  Next Friday we'll talk about what our Sunday evening youth fellowship (GASP- I said the "F" word!) might look like.  Have a blessed weekend!


Because of Jesus,

Starting Over: "Strategery"

This is post #2 in my series attempting to address the question, "What would I do if I were starting a youth ministry from scratch- today?"  To read the introduction to this series simply click here.


Youth Ministry is not a simple thing.  There is no straight path guaranteed to produce the desired results in the students you work with.  The trail is filled with twists, turns, hills and roadblocks.  Our message- the message of Jesus - should never change.  But the way we deliver that message, the students, their families, their schools, their friends and their culture are constantly changing.  So if I begin a new ministry without a plan of action, without a method to my madness, then my chances of success are very low.  It is difficult to get where you re going if you have no idea where you hope to end up.  You've got have goals and a strategy.  Or as someone famously said, "Strategery."




There were really two concepts that formed my "strategery" for student ministry over the years, and the combination of those 2 would still be at the core of any ministry I was starting now. First of all, the ministry would be WHOLISTIC.  This made-up word simply means that we would attempt to set up the ministry in recognition that following Jesus involves your whole life.  This concept comes from the scripture found in 1 Thessalonians 2:8- "We love you so much that are delighted to share with you not only the Gopsel, but our very lives as well, because you have become so dear to us."  Our goal is to have students follow Jesus, not be religious.  When youth ministries focus entirely on "church stuff" they too often unwittingly teach the students they serve to put God in a box that only opens on Sundays.  We need to to teach them scripture and basic theology; we need to worship; we need to serve others.  But we also need to play together, to socialize together and to teach our students life and relationship skills, recognizing that "all good things come from God."  My new ministry would be no different.  We would be wholistic.

We would also be PURPOSE DRIVEN.  Not in the whole Saddleback model kind of way, but in the sense that we would put forth a vision that would establish goals and guide our programming.  By running every idea through our vision statement (like the one here from 2006 at TUMC-Waycross) before putting it in to practice, we know WHY we are doing what we do.  We would include the 5 essential purposes of the church- Fellowship (Connect), Evangelism (Refect), Service (Offer), Discipleship (Grow) and Worship (Praise).  We would begin to establish a lead program for each area.  This will insure that we remain wholistic while never ceasing to focus on Jesus.  


And finally (for today) I would need to recruit a team of volunteers to help carry out our vision.  In the case of a new start up like the one we are imagining, I would seek out some young adults I know (such as former youth) or students from a local college with a ministry program.  Over the years I found non-parent volunteers to be preferable to most parents- although some of my best team members were parents. Parents of teenagers often come with some baggage.  But whoever it winds up being, you need a team.  That's one huge difference from when I started 30 years ago.  Not only were you encouraged to be a "Lone Ranger" youth pastor, it was expected.  They were paying you to do it- why would you need help?  Now a team is mandatory.  And finding good help is a key to getting this new ministry up and running.


So we've got a "strategery" and we've got a Youth Ministry Team.  Next Friday we'll take a look at how I would put programs into place and get the word out that there's a new youth ministry in town.  I hope you'll join us!


Because of Jesus,

If I Were Starting Over Again...

Me at work, NYC- 1978

I first became a youth pastor when I walked into the fellowship hall of Centre Friends Meeting outside of Greensboro, NC in September, 1978.  I was 18 years old.  I knew absolutely nothing abut youth ministry except the things I had learned by being part of a youth group and a Young Life group that together had changed my life.  In the 28 years that followed I did manage to learn a few things.  I served churches in 3 denominations and one para-church organization.  I served as a trainer of youth and religious education workers in a 6 state area.  I made as little as $50 per month and as much as $70,000 (plus a house) per year.  I taught many seminars on youth ministry.  I spoke at (and led music for) national conferences for youth and their youth pastors.  Youth ministry and I have a history.


The other day when I posted 5 Things I'd Change About Youth Ministry I got a lot of positive feedback from a lot of folks who thought I had some good ideas.  I also got one real pain-in-the-butt question from a regular reader, Chris.  He wanted to know this- "What would you do right now if you were starting a student ministry from scratch?"  Wow.  I hate it when people ask for concrete answers instead of philosophical pontifications.  Other questions immediately flooded my brain.  What did I learn that is still important to me about helping teenagers find a relationship with Jesus?  When, where and how often would my group meet, and what format would those meetings take?  How would I use today's social media to help my cause?  Is there anything I would change dramatically about the way I did ministry?  These questions just came flooding into my mind, and I was intrigued by the thought of answering them.  So much so that I feel a blog series coming on!  

The 4-Way Grinder in action!

For the next several Fridays I will be attempting to format a new student ministry, just like I had been hired at a new church with no history and no traditions.  For the purposes of this experiment, the church will be located in the same neighborhood of Tampa in which my family currently resides.  It is obviously a fictional scenario - I will most likely never be in student ministry again- but it will be my way of trying to give Chris (and anyone else who cares!) some real answers to his most excellent question.  And BTW, the first thing I would do- before ever having a meeting or recruiting a volunteer- would be to break out the 4-Way Grinder that is in my garage, set it up in my front yard and let the neighborhood teenagers play.  Almost none of their families go to church, so if (with my son Will's help) I can get the 12 or so of them interested I'd be off to a flying start.  So get ready, my friends.  The old Youthguy is going back to work!  But only on Fridays...   :)


Because of Jesus,