Robb Hand: "If I Were Starting Over..."

Today's guest post comes from Robb Hand. Robb is transitioning from Student Minister in Kansas City, KS to Student Minister in Emporia, KS.  He loves coffee, hates cats.  He has been married to a wonderful woman for 20 years, with whom he shares the blessing of raising their two wonderful children.  His hardly ever updated blog is restoredhand.com. He is available for church camps, retreats, or a cup of coffee. 

This is a funky weird time in life and in ministry for my family and me.  In the next month I will begin a new student ministry position about 100 miles from our home town.  At the same time, one of my children will be getting ready to head out to college while the other is child is two years away from doing the same thing.

In many ways, life is being reset.  The reset has given me a lot of time to reflect on student ministry and parenting.  What could I have done to be a better student minister where I am?  What can I do better where I am going?  What could I have done better as a parent?

Oh, did you notice that the last question only asks in the past tense?  It is because my kids will only grow up once.  I won't get to reset with them the way I can the student ministry.

If I were starting over, here is what I would do.

1. Realize that some things can be redone, some things cannot.

I'm not real big on the whole #YOLO thing.  Mainly because it is usually a hip way of saying, "Go be stupid!".  But, it is true that you only live once.  You can change ministry settings and get a fresh start.  When you have successes or failures, journal them so that you know what to repeat and what to avoid. 

Family is different. You cannot start over with your family. Realize this.  Your first ministry is to God.  Serve Him first.  Your second ministry is to your family.  Your church ministry will be healthier and you will be happier if you place it third and enjoy the time that you have with your family.*  

2. Read more. 

Experience is a great teacher.  In fact she is one of the best.  Her methods often leave lasting impressions.  They leave your ego hurt, a student deflated, or a parent angry.  It is true that you should learn from mistakes, but why not learn from someone else's mistakes.  Read everything you can get your hands on that is student ministry related.  Read journals.  Read books.  Read daily emails.  Read Twitter updates.   As much as I like to read, I would go back in time and read more.  If a person is reading a wide variety of authors and subjects, it is nearly impossible for them to learn too much.

3. Slow down and be accessible.

People are more important than programs and PowerPoints.  Sadly, no kid has ever come up to me after a youth meeting and said, "I really like the background you had, and your transitions were AWESOME!"  I did have a student once tell me that I was hard to get ahold of at times.  That still stings and makes me feel that I failed.  There are few good excuses for showing up unprepared.  But as I am still learning, there are fewer excuses for not taking the time to listen to a kid.

4.

I left this blank.  The reason I did this was because I don't know everything.  In all likelihood, there is more that I would do differently.  But I don't know it all, so I am leaving it blank.  That is probably a good idea for others, too.  Realize you don’t know it all.  There is so much to learn. 

And now, I must circle back to item one.  I have a wife who is waiting for me to have dinner with her.  As I close my laptop, maybe you should do the same with yours.

*As a side note, even though you can't reset with your family, you can improve. If you are human and sometimes fail to give them the love and attention they need, listen to them, make changes, apologize, and do better. I am thankful for Erlinda, Bri, and Bobby who have loved me even when I have been terrible at one or more of my ministries.