Daniel Griswold: If I Were Starting Over...

The final guest post in my series If I Were Starting Over in Youth Ministry comes form another Twitter buddy, Daniel Griswold. Daniel is a youth pastor in Hilton Head, SC. It's a tough gig, but somebody has to do it!  Thanks so much for sharing with us, Daniel!

Growing Pains and Stretching in the 

Pioneering Phase of a Youth Ministry

By Daniel Griswold

Youth Director at Saint Andrew By-The-Sea UMC

Hilton Head Island, SC   Twitter:  @Dannonhill     Email: DanielGriswold@Gmail.com

Blog: DanielGriswold.Wordpress.com

Coming into the church, I was the new guy – but I was the new Youth Director.  There was a clean slate, and I had been told that I was able to paint what was necessary.   This was true, and it was exciting – and terrifying at the same time.  I had a general youth ministry philosophy in hand that I had developed when working in High School Youth Ministry in the Lexington, MA area during the seminary years.  From the previous four years of outreach work and program success at the previous church, I was confident that God would do a new work with this new church and myself.  I met the staff, projected my plans and goals to the ministry staff, and talked to as many committees as I could, just to let the church get to know me. 

And at some point, after some consultation with those who had previously led youth meetings and also with some of the students who were available, I looked at a calendar (with very confusing school calendars – 3 Middle Schools?) and began planning when Middle School and High School Groups would take place.  It was a thrust of necessity and I admit, personal haste, because I had been an August hire, only having one month to prep, think, plan, communicate and enact new programs for the youth of our church – I prepped to roll out quick.

The first two youth meetings for both grade groups were enormous successes, especially if we were to consider only numbers.  I had a handful of parent volunteers who helped with the crowd in the gym (we had not developed a youth space, so we commandeered what we could, found tables here and there, wired a projector to a random laptop, and put some powerpoint games and series slides together).   In assessment, through the explosion of activity, I will note that we survived.  And despite my positive reports, I knew that there were some big issues that needed addressing, some that could have been mitigated.  Here is a snapshot of the pioneering moments of ministry:

(1  )  We had numbers, but we had no relational leaders at the time.  My wife and I’s main task, to relate to the kids, build meaningful moments and establish rapport, could not happen because we were running a preset program.  The huge amount of kids, many of whom were likely checking out the new guy, did not allow for depth on a lot of levels, especially since we could not break the group down into smaller groups without trained leaders.

(2)  I was there, but I did not understand the cultural context/matrix that effected the youth.  It was like we spoke different languages.  I felt the missionary feeling that I was not in Kansas anymore.  The different schools and different groups did not particularly meld well at first, and large group and small group talk fell flat – there was not trust.  Because I was not yet a central figure, I could not glue together the varying groups, and I could see young people like oil and water separating to different corners at any chance they got.

(3)  I had not fully understood that the youth program prior had been very different from my own approach to ministry.  I was ready to launch into a discipleship oriented program heavy in discussion of the Bible and group prayer with a few games, it would have been better to plan more games at first, just have fun, and let the kids come along.  Instead I think I made the kids feel a bit uncomfortable by imposing a new culture on them rather than let an organic culture rise and I felt a bit inflexible until a bit down the road.

(4)  Over time, I would have to relearn Middle School Ministry, having been in High School for so long.  The basic patterns of discipleship are the same, but the delivery has a totally different methodology.  They’re excited, they’re bored, they are pushing, they want a friend, they don’t want to play, they want to jump up and down, they want quiet, they want to be loud.  Over the last three years, I’ve grown deeply in love with Middle School Ministry, and have found great delight in ministering to my awesome young people at this phase of life, but I think in the beginning of pioneering a new MS group, I was a bit scared of the explosive energy.  That is what I love about Middle School now.  And in High School, they already had role models and people who had guided their faith.  It was clear that they didn’t want a “new guy” and they didn’t feel they had the time (one or two years) to see if I’d stick around.

I look back at this period and call it the pioneering phase of the ministry.  I’ve done the same in ministries before and I’ve noticed some guiding principles that help a lot.  One on one contact work are important at first and built the framework for the future success of our ministry.  Also, finding ways to break through the mundane and get people laughing has a huge impact.  Humor is like glue, and often games and recreation get people laughing and enjoying life together.  If I could start over, I would forget a lot of the program.  I would have planned more unplanned time.  Though that is hard when nobody really knows you and the question on your reliability and trustworthiness are at issue.  A solid 6 months of just volunteering in other ministries, in the community, and planning sessions for the eventual launch of the youth ministry likely would have been a better route.  Our congregation was so supportive of all the work that we did to launch, and I think that the pressure to build program was self imposed.  I needed a talking point and a rally, and that is how I went about it.

All in all, God has blessed our ministry.  Our Middle School shrunk for a while, and after several years of learning and growing with our youth (who are now acting more as leaders), a culture has developed and we’ve busted at the seams.  We have built youth rooms that the young people have ownership of, we laugh and play games, and we learn about Jesus every week.  The High School actually dried up for a whole year, and that frustrated a lot of people.  I continued to tell folks that the High School students need to want to have a youth group.  After one missions trip with younger HS kids, they wanted a youth group, they helped plan it, they picked a name, eeked out an identity, and they are growing outward and inward in discipleship.  We even have a parent help team, and some volunteers that are consistent and want to contribute to the ministry.  God is good.

I think that in Youth Ministry, regardless of how you go about building, there is a pioneering phase that is going to be hard no matter what.  Your leadership will be tested, your learning and understanding of culture will be stretched, but those who keep going will see God’s work over the course of time.  Feeling a bit Ecclesiastes like right now.  There is a time for everything underneath the sun, including the blessings that God brings when you are faithful.  I could change a lot, but I would never change the reasons and the passions that brought God’s work about.