30/30: My Earliest Memory

Today's 30/30 Vision Blog Challenge prompt calls for me write about my earliest memory. Many of my very early memories are of times spent with my mother's parents, Carl and Dorothy Clark. I was born in Asheboro, NC, and they lived only a couple of miles away from us until we moved to Greensboro when I was 4. I spent many days at their house and remember them fondly. I remember they had grapevines and I loved to pick (and eat!) the grapes. I remember their neighbors had older boys who would play with me sometimes. And I remember that Grandma always had Lincoln Logs for me to play with. But my clearest and best early memory is of time spent with my grandfather- at work!

Carl Clark owned and operated an American Oil "service station" on Salisbury Street in Asheboro. It was a busy, popular place where folks bought full-service gas (sometimes on credit without credit cards, just paying monthly). There was a drink machine, an ice cream freezer and a constant gab session with groups of men sitting around and talking about life. The station was memorable to me for a few reasons. First, I got to hand out with my grandpa. Just as importantly, I got to help. Even as a very small child the guys who worked for Grandpa would let me help pump gas and clean windshields, and I thought that was great. But maybe the most influential part of spending time at the station was getting to know the men who worked for my grandfather and becoming friends with them. Their names were Roy and Nuddie, and they were both African-American men. This was the early 1960's in mostly rural NC, and trust me- no one ever used the phrase African-American. "Colored" was the nicest thing you could hope to hear. But to my grandfather, Roy and Nuddie were just employees that he respected and counted on. He encouraged me to talk to them, hang out with them and get to know them. When I was at the station they were often my babysitters. I was young enough not to have any built-in prejudices yet, and I believe it was because of my time spent with them that I never really developed any racial fears or stereotypes. Roy and Nuddie were my friends. Their skin color seemed inconsequential to me. Those days at the station as a 3 and 4 year old were important in making me the man I am today.

I stayed close to my grandfather until he died of complications from Alzheimer's many years ago. My grandmother outlived him by many years, partly because (as I discovered much later in life) she was just too mean to die! But I do have great memories of those early years, and I thank God for the presence of family in my life- then and now.  Have a blessed weekend!

Because of Jesus,

Throwback Thursday: The Legend of Big K

As of next week, it will be 20 years since Marilyn and I left Springfield Friends Meeting for Kissimmee, Florida. It's really hard to believe. The anniversary of the end of our 8 years of service there and the beginning of our lives at FUMC-K has me feeling quite nostalgic, and so for this Throwback Thursday I will share a post I originally shared in February of 2010. Because nothing makes me miss Springfield (or youth ministry in general) more than talking about trips...

1988 at the Betsy B

One of the first and longest-running reality TV shows is The Real World (When it began, MTV still showed music videos...). Their famous tag line that has opened the show for many years is "7 people, picked to live in a house..." The idea is that these 7 people will live life together and discover how tough it can be. We had our own "real world" experiences many times over the years, but the ones that stick out in my mind are the Myrtle Beach trips in which up to 45 of us shared a house for a week. There are many interesting stories that will be told from these adventures, but today, I want to talk about food.

In 1988, on our first trip from Springfield Friends Meeting to the Betsy B, I thought it would be smart to load the house with snacks to feed all those hungry teens. I told each of the participants to bring a sweet or salty snack to share, thinking this would last a good part of our week. I bought lots of cereal for breakfast, thinking I might have to shop one more time after our arrival. I already knew a great deal about travelling with youth, but I had yet to learn much about living with this crowd! The snacks I thought would last all week were gone by the second evening. I didn't understand that anything these kids could find, they WOULD eat! If it was in the house, it disappeared quickly. The cereal lasted through one morning. I didn't realize that guys like Jon Moran would break out the "Jethro Bowls" (mixing bowls, as used by Jetho Bodine on The Beverly Hillbillies) and eat an entire box at one sitting. Needless to say, the food budget for that week was in terrible trouble...and I wound up buying enough water, soda and lemonade to stock a 7-11. Something had to change...

The following year we returned to the Betsy B, and I this time I had a plan. I would get up each morning before anyone else was stirring and go to the local store, which was a Kroger.  I would buy all of the food and drink for THAT day. And when they ate it all, that was it- no more until the next day! I wound up buying lots of cereal and lots of snacks- Fudge Rounds, Opies (Oatmeal Creme Pies), Freeze Pops, chips and more. And I would up buying enormous amounts of Big K soda.

Big K was the Kroger brand, and it was cheap- around 49 cents for a two liter bottle. It came it pretty much every flavor imaginable, and most of them were pretty good. We liked the Lemon-Lime, Ginger Ale, Dr. K (Dr. Pepper rip-off), Root Beer, Cherry Lemon-Lime, Orange, Black Cherry and many others. One particular favorite was a bizarre little drink called Red Creme Soda. The only one we just could not stand was cola. I had to buy real Coke for the cola drinkers. Every morning I would visit the store and purchase 10-20 two liter bottles of Big K. And every day we would drink most of them. We would go through 80-100 bottles in a week. I became a legend in that store- every day the workers would gather to see how much I was buying FOR THAT DAY! It was amazing. People became fierce defenders of their favorite flavors. At one point on the Beach Break '89 video Heather Beggs says to Russell Farlow  "We love Big K, don't we Russell?" His response is classic. He lets out a very happy sigh, throws his head back and yells "UH-HUH!!!" He spoke for many of us.

Like so many things in student ministry, Big K was only special because of the people and the place. I never bought it to use in my home or anyplace else. It was simply part of the experience of our own little Real World. Over the years it helped us survive some Black Thursdays, some relationship nightmares, and more than a few long nights on the porch singing. Big K was never all that good- but when we were sharing life together as one big "family of God," it was as good as it gets.

Because of Jesus,

That Sinking Feeling

Do you have that sinking feeling that all the prayer, reading, Bible studies and seminary classes haven't turned you into a super Christian? Are you tired of trying to follow all the rules and say all the right things so that you can be "good enough" in the eyes of God? Then may I suggest something? GIVE UP! Because not a single one of us can be "good enough" for God. And that's Good News...

I have been re-reading my friend Rick Bundschuh's brilliant book, Deep Like Me. Rick reminds us that just as Peter sank in the waves when walking on the water, we all sink sometimes. We are all "deep" like Peter. And we all need rescuing. We can be in a right relationship with God not because of anything we do, but because of what Jesus DID! I hope that these thoughts will comfort you as you walk these last days of Lent in preparation for Good Friday and Easter. We often beat ourselves up for our lack of faith, lack of commitment or failure to grow spiritually as quickly as we think we ought to. We go back on promises to ourselves and to our God. And far too often we think we are the only ones who fail. Rick writes these words of encouragement. Soak in them:

You are not alone. Others of us have those same thoughts and feelings.

You are not that weird. Our faith is often convoluted, inconsistent and conflicted.

You will make it. You still have a long way to go, but by hanging on to Jesus, your faith understanding and and wisdom will grow, and yes, it is difficult and even baffling at times.

I would like to tell you that the journey gets easier over time, but that would be a half-truth. At the very point that you acclimate and finally get used to the new spiritual altitude, God hollers at you to get up and get moving again.

Take comfort in knowing you are not alone. Get charged up knowing that God has more for you. Always. Remember, even his closest followers thought Jesus was done on the Cross of Calvary. But he wasn't finished; death was! The story did not end on the Cross, and because it didn't OUR story is still being written as well. Don't give up hope. Just give up the stinkin' thinkin' that says following Jesus is some self-improvement plan. We will all fall short today. And that's...OKAY. It is Grace makes all things new again each and every day. That sinking feeling you feel is completely normal. Just relax and float. The Great Lifeguard is always on duty...

Because of Jesus,

#DangerDays: Help Wanted!

Congrats to the UConn Huskies and especially my dear friends the Gastler family on their big win last night! I know of no more dedicated fans for any team than the Gastlers and UConn so it always make me smile to see them win! 

Wanted: Writers for these weekly #DangerDays posts. Must be willing to share stories of bold, risky or daring faith. These can be places you have already been or steps you need to take. I know my readers, and I know YOU have a story to share. I'm going to keep writing these posts each Tuesday, but the story is more complete when we share in it together. For more information e-mail me at youthguy07@aol.com or tweet me @Youthguy07. Is God pushing you to take a risky step of faith and share your story? Remember- Moses, Jeremiah, Mary, Paul and so many others didn't think they were ready either! I'm just saying...

Because of Jesus,

Reflections on the HIMYM Finale

I wasn't planning on writing about the epic one hour finale to the TV show How I Met Your Mother. It was met with very mixed reviews and I felt like my opinion was really not all that important. But I have received several requests to share my thoughts on the subject, and so today I shall. Or rather, WE shall. The majority of this post was written as a comment on the Entertainment Weekly website by my 18 year old son Will in a response to the negativity so many people were expressing. Please know we are not attempting to change anyone's mind- these are just our personal feelings about a show that we dearly love. Here's what Will had to say (in italics) with some notes from me as well:

The finale was the perfect ending. As a full nine-season long fan, I found it to be brilliant, the entire hour of it. The show has always been real. Even last week, the wedding between Barney and Robin which had been built up all season, was utterly downplayed so as to demonstrate real life, where the big moments flash right before your eyes. 

The finale was real. It wasn't a happy ending in many ways, but it was the perfect ending. It gave each and every character a fitting goodbye and an emotional end to their story. Life isn't always happy, sometimes it is sad, and life ending is always a sad thing, HIMYM did not shy away from this harsh reality (Editor's Note: Have you MET Robin & Barney? How was anyone who knows the personalities and characteristics of those 2 characters surprised that their marriage didn't last? And to those who felt like Barney changing immediately upon becoming a father was out of character, we had known for years that babies have an impact on Swarley. Remember when he found out his brother James was adopting?).

As for the final moment between Ted and Robin, it can be taken many ways, which is why it has incited so much debate. Let me make this clear though, Ted LOVED the mother with all his heart. She was his everything. Six years after she died, Ted's kids didn't want to see Ted grow old a sad man. Even the Mother herself told Ted to carry on without her earlier this season in a flash-forward. It just took Ted a few years to understand that it was alright to move on (Editor's Note: So many people are missing the point about Ted & Robin. The ending was not to show us that Robin had always been the one and Ted had "settled" for Tracy. Quite the opposite. Robin had always been Ted's "the one" until he met Tracy. As Lilly said when she saw Ted look at The Mother- "This is different." It was Robin, in the end, who finally realized that Ted had always been the one. And as often happens, life cycled back around.).

And of course it ended in a big gesture showing that through it all, Ted Mosby's heart will never be broken. No matter what the world may throw at him, he will always be the eternal optimist, the eternal believer. He will always be the guy with the blue french horn.
(Editor's Note: Will also wanted to point out that the final song, Heaven by The Walkmen, was commissioned by the show's creators several years ago for the finale and speaks volumes to the show's ultimate message- "Remember, remember, all we fight for...").

Judge Fudge...do I have permission to say LAWYERED?

Will pretty much says it all for me. But before ending this post I want to re-emphasize one more of the points he makes. If you are a long-time fan of HIMYM, then you knew going in that this was not going to end in some happily-ever-after fantasy. Think back to the passing of Marshall's dad, Barney's search for his father, the divorce of Ted's parents, Lilly's estrangement from her Dad, Robin discovering she is unable to have children and even Lilly & Marshall's break up. HIMYM was never just a sitcom. From the very beginning, the writers always knew where they were going. They always pursued something greater than mere laughs. For myself, my son and several of our friends who love the show the way we do, it was brilliant. And so was was the finale. In fact I think I may watch it a third time tonight just to be sure. And await the box set this Fall...the pineapple is still a mystery. And I GOTS TO KNOW!!! 

Chaotic Faith

There are "moments" in the lives of most Christ-followers - wild, chaotic, completely out of our hands moments- when faith ceases to be something we have and becomes something we DO. Our believing becomes more intense, our praising becomes more passionate, our seeking becomes more fervent and our loving reaches a much deeper level. Our faith stops being stagnant and becomes a living, breathing organism. It goes from noun to verb. In such "moments" I often find myself remembering scriptures that touch me or the words of songs that move me. And this past week, in the midst of total chaos and incredible blessings, one song has been on my heart as my head hit the pillow each night. It's a song I never really appreciated back in the days when it was part of the worship services I attended each week, because it became a bland ritual to me, devoid of any true meaning. But now...it just screams to be sung in my life everyday- with feeling and 4 part harmony! You my know it...

It is my prayer today- for myself and for all of you- that our faith will be a little more chaotic and alive each day, and that we will never, ever forget the source of our blessings. Have a blessed weekend!

Because of Jesus,

30/30: Oh the Places You'll Go!

Sometimes God laughs at us. Of this I am certain. Back in December I wrote out a list of prompts to use in what I called the 30/30 Vision Blog Challenge. My hope was that other bloggers would play along and a group of us would be writing along for 30 weeks on the same topic each Friday. Turns out the group of bloggers is...ME! But I have continued on. So after a rather hectic week I finally got around to looking at the prompt for today, and it was this- If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why? Now when I first wrote that prompt, I was thinking I would write about Italy or Ireland or some exotic locale I had never visited. It should have been a fairly easy post to write. But I suddenly find myself actually able to travel after 7 years mostly stuck in Tampa- and that changes everything! For me, this post is now more about "Where do I want to go AGAIN?" And while very exciting for me to think about, it also makes it that much more difficult to write the post. But I shall!

Everyone knows that I am anxious to make a triumphant return to Walt Disney World, but it's close by and that is going to happen, so I'll eliminate it. The same is true for North Carolina- so many old friends to see and favorite places to visit, but that is going to happen in the next few months, as will a return to Myrtle Beach- quite possibly on the same trip! I love Chicago and would love to return there someday, but that isn't the top of my list either. Nashville is one of my favorite places, and I have old friends there and some Twitter buddies I would love to meet. So many options...

There are also a few places I haven't been that still come to mind. I have a standing invitation to visit Hawaii from an old friend with guest house on the beach in Kuai. IF this list were about who I want to go see and not just the location, then Fort Worth would be very high on my list. Sure, seeing Teresa Tysinger and meeting Jason Huffman would be cool, but it's really Emma Grace Tysinger that is the draw there. I can't wait to meet that little dynamo! And after years and years of joking about them, I have still never been to Butte, Montana or Casper, Wyoming. I'm just saying...

But in the end, the list comes down to two places. One is a real long shot. There seems to be little reason to believe life will ever take me back to Spanish Wells (a small island in the Bahamas) for a third time. But a man can dream, and I have more reasons to want to go back than you can possibly imagine. The other is New York City. I have so many great memories of so many adventures, and it's been 10 years since I was there. I know the city has changed a great deal in that time, but there are still Broadway shows, there are still amazing things to do, and there is still Carmine's. I do love NYC. And Will has never been with me. It's something that need to happen.

So what's my pick?  Right now, honestly, I just choose to GO. I can't wait to drive across the bridge to Clearwater or go to a Rays game without having to ask permission. I look forward to visiting my mom more often and seeing Marilyn's family again. There is a weekend with the Hanbery family in our future. I want go anywhere and everywhere. I don't know where the road will take me- and I don't know what the first big trip might be yet. I just know I am feeling blessed and ready to go. And sometimes you simply need to just GO!  As Dr. Seuss wrote in that amazing little book: 

“You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!” 
- Oh, the Places You'll Go!

 So get your guest rooms ready, my friends. Hurricane Carl may blow through your town at any moment. Have a great Friday!

Because of Jesus,