Praying for Terry

Marilyn, Doyle Craven & Teddy Venables
in NYC- sometime in the 80s

Some weeks I know what I intend to write about every day on this blog, and things go exactly as planned.  Other times, life intercedes.  In some cases, events take place that bring a particular part of my past to the forefront and bring back memories or people that demand to be written about- NOW! This week, with all of the excitement going on about the April reunion of my old youth group from FUMC-Kissimmee, I expected to focus my attention on that group.   The tragic death of Leah Way in North Carolina on Tuesday night changed all of that.  As regular readers know, my thoughts and prayers have been with the Thomas family and the Quaker Lake community.  My post on Thursday about Neal Thomas was widely read by old friends, and a number of them contacted me via email and social media.  It was again a reminder of how close knit that community is, and how deeply my roots are planted in those years. People like Susan McBane Tuggle, David Hobson, Edith Shepherd, Denise May Langley, Steve Semmler, Scott Smith and many others reminded me of what a special place QLC was and is.  I wish I could be with so many of them at the funeral today at Centre Friends Meeting (where my youth ministry career began), but my prayers will have to suffice.

I first heard the news on Wednesday morning from my old friend Leigh Anne Venable via my wife's Facebook.  I later called to thank her for letting us know and to get more information. I had not talked to her in a very long time, and I have been thinking a lot about the Venables since then.  I have written often here about old friends and great influences, but I have written very little about Leigh Anne and her husband Terry. Today seems like the right time to fix that.

I was prepared not to like Terry Venable.  When he was hired to work on the Quaker Lake Camp summer staff in the early 80s, I didn't know him. He had never been a camper.  He didn't run in the accepted QLC circles of that day. He wasn't one of US.  But despite the uncertainty, it didn't take long for Terry and I to become fast friends. And our lives would continue to intersect long after I left the staff following the summer 1983. In the summer of '84, Terry showed up at my house late one Saturday to tell me he had just been on a date with another counselor, Leigh Anne Everhart.  He was in shock. I was in disbelief.  I had known Leigh Ann since 1978 when she was a camper at a junior high camp- one of my favorite weeks of camp ever.  And she was THAT girl. The teenager who was so pretty that the guys and girls alike (not to mention the staff!) were totally intimidated by her.  She and I had become good friends as the years had passed (Fueled in part, ironically, by bonding over the untimely death of Robin Davis, one of her fellow campers, in a tragic car wreck in that summer of '78. Robin's funeral was also at Centre Friends.), and I knew her to be a sweetheart. And now she was dating my friend Terry.  I actually went to the beach later that summer with the two of them and a few other staff members.  As time went by their relationship became quite serious, and one day they showed up at my place again to visit.  They spent a lot of time trying to get me to notice the ring on Leigh Anne's finger- but if you know me at all you know what a lost cause that was!  Finally, she stuck the ring in my face and they announced their engagement to me.  I was a groomsman in the their wedding.  Terry returned the favor at mine. Around that same time we discovered that our lives together had only just begun.  Terry was going to start on October 1, 1986, as the new youth pastor at High Point Friends Meeting.  I was moving back from New England going to start the same day at Springfield Friends Meeting- separated by only a few miles. This was going to be great!

And it certainly was.  We planned lots of youth events together.  We took some epic 3 hour lunches, and occasionally skipped out to catch a movie as well.  We served together on the QLC Camp Planning Committee and the Young Friends Activities Committee. We had great times together at a couple of National Youth Workers Conventions (see The Country Quakers) and during The Great Hickey Search at the 1987 Friends United Meeting Triennial Sessions. When no one else stepped up to do it, we planned and ran the NC Yearly Meeting sessions for youth that same year, importing our buddy Brent Bill to help.  While thanking us for our work, some unsuspecting adult mispronounced Terry's name, referring to him as Teddy Venables.  A new nickname was born. Together (along with Doyle Craven, Jeff Byrd, Ray Luther and others) we led seminars, edited a youth ministry newsletter, and basically lived life together for several years.  When Terry left for Indiana to pursue his master's degree, it left a hole in my life. By the time he came back to NC, I was in Florida and he was coming back to be the senior pastor at Springfield. I was so excited for he and Leigh Anne- although we had to make a pact of secrecy-  if she wouldn't tell any "Carl" stories, I wouldn't tell any "Leigh Anne" stories.  The pact held up...  But as happens, distance and time have separated us.  I haven't talked to them or seen them in years.  And that was why it was so special to me to hear the horrible news of this past Tuesday night from a trusted old friend.

So why today to share all of this?  Because this afternoon around 3 pm, Terry will be one of the pastors presiding over the funeral of Leah Way. I cannot imagine anything much more difficult.  It is hard enough that she was 12.  That she was the granddaughter of dear old friends and the daughter of a young woman who we watched grow up at camp would just be gut-wrenching.  We all know to be praying for the Thomas and Way families today.  But I also want you to be praying for Terry.  Not everyone can appreciate how heroic he will have to be this afternoon- but I do.  Join me in lifting him in prayer RIGHT NOW, as you read this.  I have great confidence that God will see him through.  But a little prayerful support never hurts.  Terry and Leigh Anne, we love you guys.  I look forward to the day our paths will cross again.  

Because of Jesus,

One Way To a Better Weekend

Would you like to make this a better weekend?  Do you want to feel joy and hope instead of sorrow and depression?  Here's one way- do this Act of Worship several times throughout your Friday. Shout for joy to the LORD!  Sing praises to Him!  But since not everyone can or wants to sing, try this.  Shout out to God by reading aloud Psalm 100.  Read it with gusto and without worrying about who might hear you.  Read it with your heart WIDE OPEN!  Believe that the LORD is good and that His love truly does endure forever.  Praise God!

Psalm 100 (New International Version)
A psalm. For giving thanks.

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. 
Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and not we ourselves ;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Have a blessed and joy-filled weekend, remembering that NOTHING can separate you from the love of God!

Because of Jesus,

Influences: Neal Thomas

Yesterday the Quaker Lake Camp community was rocked by the news that Leah Way, daughter of Martha Thomas Way and granddaughter of Neal & Susie Thomas, had been killed in a car crash.   I heard from numerous old friends (thanks Leigh Anne, Steve, Edith, Susan and others) who wanted to make sure that we got the news way down here in Florida, and we were all devastated.  During my years of involvement at QLC, Neal was my camp director, my boss and my friend. In October of 2009 I wrote of his influence on my life in one of my earliest posts.  It seemed appropriate to share it again today.  Everyone who is part of the Quaker Lake community- and even now, 30 years since I last worked on summer staff, it is still a community I cherish- mourns with the Thomas family.  Our prayers are with them, as is our love.

Neal- always the leader of the band!

Steve Semmler took me to Quaker Lake Camp in Climax, NC for the first time in the summer of 1973, following our 8th grade year. I knew nothing about the place except that my mom had been there years before, and that Steve said it was cool. Upon our arrival, Steve was surprised to discover that Cal Geiger was no longer Camp Director, and that he had been replaced by a young man named Neal Thomas. To be honest, Steve was a little disappointed at the time. It really made very little difference that week, as Wallace Sills directed our camp and Neal was just around, fixing things and helping camp run smoothly. But knowing Neal Thomas would make an enormous difference in my life.

I grew to know Neal over the next few years as I progressed from camper, to Counselor-in-Training to summer staff- on which I served from 1978-1983. In many ways, we were opposites. Neal was always calm,always composed, slow to show emotion and always aware of the big picture. Neal could fix or build anything. I was young, loud, brash and always in the moment, and thought duct tape was a tool. Despite this, I had enormous respect for Neal. He had been a conscientious objector to the draft, and he lived out his "peace testimony" in his everyday life. He loved Quaker Lake and was constantly pushing to improve the facility and the programs. At a time when theology in the NC Yearly Meeting of Friends was about as diverse as you can imagine, Neal always steered QLC to the center. In fact, his talks to the staff on how we had to be the camp for ALL of NCYM, doing nothing to offend either end of the theological spectrum, guided me through many tough times in the large churches I would serve later in my life. He was our boss, but he was also someone we could count on and turn to. And even on days when I did not deserve it, he always supported me and always showed me grace that could only come from a walk with Jesus. Neal Thomas walked that walk, and he shared it freely. It always amazed me that some on the theological "right" in the yearly meeting considered Neal too liberal. That only showed how little they knew him.

That is not to say that Neal was perfect! He was a trained EMT, but if a camper threw up, look out! Neal would be next! Somewhere along life's journey he had picked up the nickname "Quiver Lips." He told us that one Saturday morning when I was a camper after some girls had water ballooned our cabin. In those days the cabins had screens along the top, and they had pounded the screens (and my top bunk!) and soaked us. It would have been a wonderful prank, except for one small issue- the force of the balloons hitting the screens knocked them out. By the time we arrived at breakfast the next morning, Neal was furious, and the lips were indeed quivering. We all got a stern lecture on respecting property (that means you, Tammy!) and then it was all forgotten. It was, thankfully, one of the few times over my 21 years of being around Neal that I saw him really angry. The lesson was profound, however, and over the years I became a fanatic about respecting property and not wasting food or other items. Neal was a sneaky teacher- you often learned without realizing you were being taught.

After I returned from New England to NC in 1986, my relationship with Neal changed. We became great friends. I loved volunteering at camp and serving on the Camp Planning Committee to help hire staff and plan the camp themes each year. We traveled to Indiana for a Conference on Quaker Camping and attended the National Youth Workers Convention together. We would gather at his and Susie's home at QLC and play Trivial Pursuit (no matter what you may hear, the guys always won!). Every time I ever needed a reference or a friend, Neal was there. One of my greatest disappointments in life was that his last summer, 1994, I could not volunteer because it was my first year in Kissimmee. I had been with him his first year; I was sorry to miss his last.

Neal Thomas is Quaker Lake Camp to me. The influence he had on my life cannot be explained in a blog post. My entire ministry was driven by his example and his encouragement. Whenever I doubted myself, I often thought of something he once said to me: "Carl, you have a gift. When you get your guitar and start leading music, even the junior high boys start to sing. Anyone who can get junior high boys to sing has a gift." Moments like that one still move me all these years later. So thank you, Neal, from myself and hundreds of others who were influenced by you over the years. You showed me what it means to walk in Light. You, Susie, Doug and Martha made us all feel like family. Marilyn and I hope you know that you are loved. It almost makes me sorry for the morning we used food dye and made Neal green eggs and ham to test his legendarily weak gag reflex...but not quite! Today, more than usual, the Thomas family is in my thoughts and prayers.  I love you guys.

Because of Jesus,

Nothing But Prayer

I have nothing cute or creative to say today.  Dear friends in North Carolina- a couple that had an immense impact on my life and my ministry- lost their 12 year old granddaughter in a crash last night. Their daughter was injured as well.  I feel so helpless here in Tampa, so far away from these people I love so much.  Any family tragedy is difficult to understand; the loss of a child is impossible to comprehend.  So I have no words today.  There is nothing to do but pray.  Pray for the Thomas family. Pray for all of those who will be touched by this tragic loss.  And pray for me.  Some days faith just takes a beating.  And we are left with nothing but prayer...

My Quaker Roots

Yesterday I was digging through a box of old files when I came across a very old folder from my days as a youth leader at New Garden Friends Meeting in Greensboro, NC (1978-1983).  In the file was a sheet that contained some witty Quaker sayings and stories, and it was great to discover them again. Among the gems I rediscovered were these...

• A Quaker farmer was attempting to milk his cow, but the cow was having none of it. After twice being kicked by the animal, the peace-loving Quaker had just about had it.  He spoke to the cow these words of warning: "I would not strike thee for the world, Friend Cow, but if thou dost not produce thy milk I will sell thee to the Baptist down the road, and he shalt beat the hell out of thee!"
• "I mind the Light, but I was born to boogie!"
• "I am a Quaker. In case of emergency, please be quiet."

I enjoyed my reminiscing, and then put the file back in the box.  I was reminded of my Quaker roots and how important the influence of the Society of Friends was on my own spiritual journey.

So it should have come as no surprise this morning that I woke up humming The George Fox Song.  George Fox (see picture; and yes he was the model for the Quaker Oats guy!) was the first Quaker (England, 1652),although he had no intention of founding a new denomination.  Like most great church leaders and denominations fathers/mothers, he was simply seeking Jesus.  He found that to really connect with Jesus, he had to find his way outside of the trappings of the Anglican Church of his day. He was very much a 17th century John the Baptist, right down to the way he looked. He fell in love with the references from John 1 referring to Jesus as "the Light." He came to believe in pacifism as taught by Jesus, and that since we are all created by God that "there is that of God in everyone." Not that we are God, but they we each have a divine spark. He sought to put all else aside and follow the Christ.  When I was a teenager I learned The George Fox Song, and to this day it is still one of the best ways of teaching what Fox came to believe about faith and the church. So today, I share the lyrics and the wisdom of George, and hope that it may inspire you the way it still does me.

There's a Light that was shinning when the world began

and a Light that is shinning in the heart of a man

There's a Light that is shinning in the Turk and the Jew

and a Light that is shinning friend in me and in you

Chorus: Walk in the Light, wherever you may be

Walk in the Light wherever you may be

In my old leather britches and my shaggy, shaggy locks

I am walking in the glory of the Light, said Fox

With a book and a steeple and a bell and a key

they would bind it forever but they can't, said he

For the book it may perish and the steeple will fall

But the Light will be shinning at the end of it all

If I give you a pistol will you fight for the Lord?

No- you can't kill the devil with a gun or a sword

Will you swear on the Bible?  I will not, said he,

For the truth is as holy as the book to me

There's an ocean of darkness and I drowned in the night

'til I came through the darkness to the ocean of Light

Oh the Light is forever and the Light it is free

and I'll walk in the glory of the Light, said he!

Just so you know, I sang those words as I typed them.  I have been away from Friends Meetings since 1994, but it turns out that my Quaker roots run deep- and strong.  And for that, I give thanks.  May today be a day filled with the Light in each of our lives.

Because of Jesus,

Nothing To Hide

Over the past few days I have had three different friends who have been asking me about how God can love them when their lives are so imperfect.  I have often had that same struggle. Throughout history, great men and women of God have faltered, have failed, and have felt inadequate- yet God has loved and used them anyway.  Geoff Moore said it so much better than I can in his wonderful (if a bit obscure) song Nothing To Hide.  Read the lyrics. And believe...

"Nothing To Hide"
(Words and Music by Geoff Moore and Phil Madeira)

Everybody's thinking about self-esteem.
On talk shows, Oprah knows,
She read it in a magazine.
'Cause we don't like ourselves so much.
We just need to feel the touch,
Of someone who'll accept us in our need.
Nothing I have said or felt or done,
There's nothing that can keep me from God's love.
He will take me as I am,
He's got a thing for runaway lambs,
And there is mercy in His blood.

Chorus
We've got nothing to hide, nothing to loose,
Nothing to fear, and nothing to prove,
He loves us just the way He made us.
And no matter how high, no matter how low,
No matter how far we still have to go,
He loves us just the way He made us.

Everybody's talking about true success.
Cashing in, psychic friends,
What to eat, how to dress.
But I refuse to play that game,
My rules have forever changed.
I will live in wonder in freedom in His rest.

Chorus
We've got nothing to hide, nothing to loose,
Nothing to fear, and nothing to prove,
He loves us just the way He made us.
And no matter how high, no matter how low,
No matter how far we still have to go,
He loves us just the way He made us.

Bridge
He can't love you more, He won't love you less.
Nothing to hide, lose, fear, or ever prove.
Nothing to hide, lose, fear, or ever prove.

Chorus
Nothing to hide, nothing to loose,
Nothing to fear, and nothing to prove,
He loves us just the way He made us.
And no matter how high, no matter how low,
No matter how far we still have to go,
He loves us just the way He made us.

Because of Jesus,

Do Something Great

I first read this story a very long time ago and used it in a sermon in 1992 at Springfield Friends Meeting.  I wanted to share it with you today as an encouragement to us all.  Jesus doesn't want us to sit around and complain.  He wants us to get out into the world and do something GREAT in His name.  Enjoy.

A young boy complained to his father that most of the church hymns were boring to him. They were too far behind the times, with boring tunes and meaningless words.  His father put an end to the discussion when he said, "If you think you can write better hymns, then why don't you?"  The boy went to his room and wrote his first hymn.  The year was 1690; the boy's name was Issac Watts.  Among the almost 750 hymns he penned in his lifetime are When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, O God Our Help In Ages Past and Joy To the World.  Feeling bored?  Do something great to serve God.  Wouldn't it be amazing if we were still remembered for your faith 300 years from now?

Do you love the church of Jesus Christ too much to leave it the way it is?

Because of Jesus,