7 Things: Christmas Memories

Christ the Savior is Born!

I have so many great memories of the Christmas season from the churches I served over the years.  Here are 7 of my favorite moments!

1)  The Christmas Eve Candlelight Service at New Garden Friends Meeting was always highlighted by Marilyn Burris singing O Holy Night.  The song still gives me chills because it always makes me think of her beautiful voice.
2)  At Springfield Friends Meeting I started a tradition of setting up "bag candles" on Christmas Eve to light the walk ways into the meetinghouse.  It was my gift to the people of Springfield each year.  The Christmas Eve service always felt like a big family gathering where you got one last chance to say "Merry Christmas" and remind people how much you cared about them.
3)  In our early years at Springfield we would leave after the candlelight service and drive to my grandparents home in Asheboro for dinner and a family Christmas party.  One year we arrived back in High Point late that night to find that thieves had tried to break into our home, but Max Rees had spotted them and called the police.  Our yard was full of flashing lights when we arrived, and it was all kind of scary.  It made us very thankful for good friends and good neighbors.
4)  I don't remember how it got started, but one of the traditions at Springfield was my wife Marilyn and Karen Chester singing the Amy Grant song Heirlooms each year.  Their voices blended so beautifully, and the words are so stirring- "My precious Jesus is more than an heirloom to me."
5)  Once I arrived at First United Methodist Church-Kissimmee I discovered that Christmas Eve was as much of a marathon as it was a celebration!  We would start in the late afternoon and do four services, ending around midnight.  The services were often all different, and they were most always very crowded.  To celebrate with so many people was a real joy, and staff members like Pastor John Willis and Andrew Lewis kept it all quite festive and creative.  Other staff members (and church members) would bring food for us, so we would have small meals in the conference room after every service.  Then I would go home and eat my share of our family's traditional Christmas Eve hot dogs!
6)  Another tradition that began while we were in Kissimmee was attending the EPCOT Christmas Candlelight Processional.  For the uninitiated, this event runs from Thanksgiving through Christmas with three "shows" each evening.  A 400 voice choir, a full orchestra and a celebrity narrator (Marilyn and Will saw Neil Partick Harris last year!) who reads directly from scripture tell the story of the birth of Jesus in a most inspiring way.  It is an overtly Christian celebration at Walt Disney World!  Who knew?
7)  We had multiple service as Wesley Memorial UMC-Tampa as well, but the year I remember most was the year it rained so much parts of the building and the entire parking lot was flooded- yet the people still came!  It reminded me that those of us who follow Jesus make such small sacrifices compared to the sacrifice Jesus would make for us.

I made it through 7 Things without mentioning the time at the youth group Christmas party in Kissimmee when I received a Brittney Spears doll and Amber Herrick got a leopard skin thong- well, I almost made it anyway!  I hope that your Christmas season is full of great memories and great stories- and that we never forget the story of the gift of Jesus!

Because of Jesus,

A Great Cloud of Witnesses

During the years (1986-1994) I served as the Director of Youth and Christian Education at Springfield Friends Meeting in High Point, NC, my senior pastor was the late Max Rees.  Max had many gifts as a pastor and a preacher, but none greater than his ability to deliver a funeral sermon and eulogy.  No matter the situation. Max always made his message deeply personal, deeply spiritual and very moving.  And in nearly every one of those services, Max would use the scripture "we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses" from Hebrews 12:1.  Over the past few days those words have often been on my mind.

The Simmons Family (and Ashley Goad at left) on one
of our famous Kyoto's nights.

Last weekend my old church lost two incredible men on the same day.  George Simmons, husband to longtime church secretary and my dear friend Millie Simmons died suddenly and unexpectedly. George was a special man, a great husband and father, who I could always count on.  He and Millie raised two daughters, Amy and Jennifer, both of whom were important parts of my student ministry at SFM.  I dearly love that family, and George will be greatly missed in the community.  The same day, Leroy Wilkins passed after a battle with cancer.  My relationship with Leroy, his wife Ernestine and their children Jay and April preceded my time at Springfield, going back to my Quaker Lake Camp days.  Ernie often helped with out children's ministry at SFM, and Leroy was always the life of the party.  He would often introduce the love of his life, Ernie, as "my first wife."  He and George, while never people who sought out power in the church, were true leaders and great friends.  They will be missed, and I couldn't help but think that they have joined that "great cloud of witnesses."

But I have also realized that this cloud of witnesses extends far beyond those who have gone to be with Jesus.  I first heard of these passings through a text message conversation with my former youth Marie Allen, who just thought I would want to know.  We got a call from my old buddy and the current pastor at SFM, Ray Luther, who knew we would want to know. Traci Whitaker Lane, another alumni of my youth group there, left us a touching message talking about how important her Springfield family was and is to her. Ken Hill wrote of how that weekend should make us all stop and make sure we acknowledge how we feel about the people we encounter every day.  All of these witnesses surround me still.  I was reminded of the depth and passion the people of that little Friends Meeting have for one another, and how much impact they have on one another's lives.  And mine- even 18 years removed from my time there.  

I served a number of churches over my 28 years in youth ministry, and I loved them all.  But there was never anyplace quite like Springfield.  I have never stopped missing it.  I cannot say it was a mistake to leave when I did, because so many of the people that I love the most and who love me the most still today are people I met at my next stop in Kissimmee.  But Springfield remains (in the words of Jimmy Buffett) my "one particular harbor."  It is home.  My thoughts and prayers are with my church family, the Simmons and Wilkins families, and with the community.  Please know you are all loved.  May the peace and grace of Jesus carry you through these difficult times.  And may you never forget that you are indeed surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses- both those who have gone before and those who love and car for you right now.

Because of Jesus,

What I Did On My November Vacation

You can tell by the beard and the hair that I just got out of the hospital.
You can tell by the smile that I am home. :)

Some of you know the history of the title of this blog, I'd Laugh But All This Happened To Me!  Many years ago I decided that if I ever wrote a book, that would be the title.  I had so many amazing experiences in life, and particularly in youth ministry, and so many of them were humorous...especially if you were not the one the were happening to!  By the time I got around to starting this blog in August of 2009, the scope of my adventures (and misadventures) had become even bigger, and the name seemed appropriate to use here. I assumed I would be telling stories about my past.  But life, as we all know, keeps happening.  In my case, November 2012 happened. Here is that tale...

I should have seen the storm coming, but I chose to ignore it.  In mid-October a small place appeared on the bottom of my left foot, and I couldn't get it to stop bleeding and oozing. As the days went by I began to feel tired and rundown.  Then one afternoon I pulled off my socks and shoes and realized that the toenail on the big toe of my left foot had fallen off. I wrapped it and put an antibiotic cream on it and assumed it would heal itself like my toes had always done before. I was in no pain.  A few days later I was out walking my dog when my right knee buckled. Within 24 hours it was twice its normal size, and it hurt.  So I forgot about my foot and worried about my knee.  The knee got better. The toe did not.  Soon it was oozing and smelling bad, and I was getting weaker and weaker.  My appetite was gone. I began to get light headed, and Marilyn make an appointment for me to see a podiatrist on the afternoon of Halloween.  I was taking a shower to get ready to go when my head went all fuzzy and collapsed while getting out of the shower. Unable to make it the doctor that afternoon, we went at 8 am the next morning.

The podiatrist took one look at my toe and sent us to the emergency room at St. Joseph's Hospital.  When they looked at me there, 3 things were quickly evident.  My blood pressure was very low, my blood sugar was very high and they would have to do surgery on my toe, which by now was turning black.  The doctors and nurses used all kinds of words to describe what needed to be done- remove, reconstruct, take, purge- while trying not to tell me that the big toe on left foot needed to be amputated.  And quite possible my entire foot.  I also was told that have type 2 diabetes.  I was so weak that I just took it all in and waited for surgery without any of that bothering me too much.  That night they did indeed remove my big toe and opened up the right side of my foot to remove further infection.  It it all very much a blur.  I do remember waking up in the recovery room in no pain at all (it has never really hurt) and hearing the staff talking about going to The Cheesecake Factory when they were done with me.  I'd laugh, but...

I spent 2 weeks in the hospital being pumped full of antibiotics and insulin, and being taught about diabetes.  I had a wound vacuum attached to my foot, and IV in my arm (antibiotics) and constant checking of blood sugar.  I was able to stand up and move around within about 24 hours of the surgery, and no one could believe that.  They sent physical therapists to help me, and they left feeling totally unnecessary. At first they talked about me being there 3 weeks, about me having to take the wound vac home, and about all kinds of other drugs and precautions. In the end, I left after 2 weeks with only insulin and appointments to be pumped full of antibiotics for 2 more weeks.  I am done with that now as well. I am just resting, keeping my foot up up, and waiting for the wound to heal- all under a doctor's care.

Despite all the turmoil and my feelings of stupidity for letting it all go so far, I am ready to face life with the same gusto I have always had- just without a big toe on one foot. I understand more than ever that God is good all the time and that I am blessed to have so many people who love me.  I just have to to view my November vacation as another of life's great adventures.  I guess it really is true. I'd laugh...but all this happened to me!

Because of Jesus,

The Only Hope For Me Is You

A couple of years ago the band My Chemical Romance released their album entitled Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.  This was big news at the Jones' house, as my then 15 year old son Will had been awaiting this project for about 2 years.  He awaited it with the same kind of passion that I once had for a new Eagles album or the latest John Denver 8-track (I am sooo old...).  While the themes and lyrics are not really my style, I do love the music and the energy.  This may seem random, but stick with me.  The joy is in the journey...

Have you ever been driving a road you know well, headed towards a destination you have been to many times before, when suddenly you realize you have missed a turn or an exit?  I know I have. We lose focus.  Our minds wander.  We take our eyes off of the prize. It's an odd feeling because you know where you are, and you know where you are going.  You just didn't get there.  It is different from being lost, but it is still very frustrating.

Matthew 7:13-14 tells us to  “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."   The path to life in Christ is filled with passed exits and missed turns.  We know the path, yet we still find ways to wander off course.  My life has been filled with these missed turns.  I never quit seeking Jesus, but I sure take a lot of wrong turns.  There have been times when I doubted I could find my way back, even though I knew exactly where I wanted to go.  And on my own, I could not have returned to the road that leads to the abundant life.

That's where My Chemical Romance comes in.  One of the songs on their album is called The Only Hope For Me Is You.  The lyrics have nothing to do with the spiritual journey.  But God has been using the chorus to speak to me this week.  You see, too many times I have lost focus, taken wrong turns and missed exits and then tried to find my own way back to the righteous path.  I know now that I cannot do it alone.  I need a GPS.  I need Jesus.  Nothing else and no one else will do.  And the My Chem chorus just keeps ringing in my ears- "The only hope for me is you...alone."   

God knows that.  That is why over 2000 years ago He sent us Jesus.  Humans had already proven we were no good on our own.  The birth of the Christ-child was the re-birth of hope for us all.  As we begin the season of Advent- of preparation for the coming of Jesus- it is time to focus on just how badly we need a Savior.  Just as that unexpected event changed the world all of those years ago, I believe this unexpected message from My Chemical Romance can change us today.  Make it your prayer this Christmas season.  Don't let the "things of man" lead you to wrong turns and missed exits.  Focus on the one who is "The Way, the Truth and the Life."   It's all about surrender, and realizing that God has already taken the first step towards our redemption. We call it Christmas.  The time is now to prepare our hearts for the coming of the Savior...

Jesus- the only hope for me is YOU...and you alone.  Amen

Saturday Shout Outs: Surgery Edition!

Greetings friends and neighbors, and welcome to my first new post in over month! For those who don't know I have been dealing with some medical issues. I was sick for 2 weeks, then had surgery and a two week hospital stay. I am now a few weeks into what will be a long recovery.  I will tell that story in full in a future post.  Today I just want to jump back into writing by thanking some of the amazing people who helped me survive this tough time with a brand new edition of my famous Saturday Shout Outs!  Here we go!

• My wife Marilyn has been truly amazing.  She has been my nurse, my waitress, my accountant and the CEO of this family through this entire adventure, and I don't know where I would be without her. Again.
• My 17 year old son Will. He has done so much for me and sacrificed so much of himself. And he made Thanksgiving dinner. All of it. Need I say more.
• My Mother.  She has been here for nearly 2 weeks, driving me to appointments, fixing me lunch and helping me stay off my foot.  She is the best.
• Many thanks to the doctors, nurses and staff of St. Joseph's Hospital in Tampa, who took such good care of me and kept me well informed.  Aside from being sooooo bored, I have no complaints abut my 2 week stay.
• Special thanks to my dear friends Jerry Hanbery and Lisa Jewett who were constantly checking on me and even paid me visits during my stay. They kept my spirits high even when I felt low.
• I also got visits from Rob Rose and Matthew Hartsfield from the staff of Van Dyke Church.  They were a blessing, and it is always cool to see the church truly BEING the church.
• I heard from old friends like Steve Semmler, Denise Langley, Teresa Tysinger, Beth McGalliard, Todd Willis, Jamie Robinson, Tammy Foster and others, who encouraged me to get well and quit being stupid.  They can say things like that.  :)
• When you are are in hospital bed bed for 2 weeks, TV is your best friend. I am thankful for reruns of Seinfeld, Friends, The Big Bang Theory and The Fresh Prince.  I am thankful for ESPN.  And Saturdays were the best days. 12 hours of college football. It was something to look forward to!
• So many friends- far too many to name- who expressed prayers and concerns through Marilyn's Facebook and texts- kept me going and made me smile.
• My Twitter family (#StraightJacketMafia) who prayed for me, checked on me and worried about me. I love you guys.

Despite the trials and tribulations of the past month or so, I once again come out the other side feeling incredibly blessed.  Thanks to you all.  I look forward to continuing to get better and to returning to this blog on a regular basis. It won't be every day for a while yet, but I am back.  

Because of Jesus,

Influences- David Bills

David Bills arrived as pastoral minister at New Garden Friends Meeting just slightly before I did in 1972.  It would be several months later before I really came to know him, but there were a number of things about David that stood out to me immediately.  My experience with pastors to that point had been very limited, but the ones I had known had seemed quite serious and even a bit scary.  David was just the opposite.  He didn't tell us to call him Rev. Bills or Pastor Dave or any other formal title- just David.  He was quick with a smile or a joke that really helped put this young teenager at ease as I tried to settle back into "church" after my family's extended absence.  And he really cared about all of us in the youth group.

I remember riding with David on a trip up to Sam Levering's orchards and encountering a car with car trouble.  We stopped and looked under the hood, all of us clueless about what we might be looking for.  David leaned in and said (and 30+ years later I can hear it as clearly as if were yesterday) "I see the problem.  The flange hammer is stuck on the McGuffy box, so your flu-flu valve is not working properly."  We all looked at him and then exploded in laughter, understanding he was saying what we all thought- we would be no help in this matter.  As usual, David put us all at ease.

New Garden Friends Meeting was a very eclectic place, with people of all ages and many places along the theological spectrum.  David always knew how to challenge us all.  He taught us about the Bible, about social justice, about Quakerism and about what it means to truly follow Christ. When people criticized him for allowing his son Jeff to wear his baseball hat in worship, David taught us all by explaining how Jeff would take the hat off himself when he understood he was in the presence of God.  And sure enough, Jeff did just that!  In a place where biblical literacy was sometimes questionable, I remember him delivering a message one Sunday from the book of 2 Heziciah.  Many were surprised at the conclusion to discover there in no such book, and the lesson of how easily the uneducated can be misled in the name of God was not lost on anyone.  I used that same trick many times over my years in student ministry.   In fact, David always encouraged me to think outside the box during my years as youth leader at New Garden.  He supported all of us, and always had my back, even when I was wrong.  He and his wife Jean opened their home for a weekly gathering of Guilford College students, where they fed us and helped us cope with life, and those meals were some of my favorite times with some amazing friends.  Later on he was a strong supporter when I applied for a position in New England Yearly Meeting and when I went to Springfield Friends Meeting.  He was one of the pastors who presided over mine and Marilyn's wedding.  And when we wanted to have a memorial service for my Dad years later, he graciously opened New Garden for us.  He loved me when I was a failure and a success; he modeled the love of Christ for me even before I understood what that was.

But my lasting memory of Dave Bills will always be from our rehearsal dinner.  As the large party set around tables, dressed fairly formally and toasting us with champagne, a commotion arose from David's table.  We looked to see he had a table spoon dangling from his nose.  My Dad followed his example, and before long the whole atmosphere of the room had changed with people trying to dangle spoons from their noses.  David Bills is still pastoral minister at New Garden all these years later, and I would guess he is still teaching, still encouraging, and still finding ways to make everyone feel welcome and at ease.  Pastors can be so pompous and self-important, seeking to separate themselves from the flock they attend.  But just try being pompous with a spoon hanging on your nose!  Thanks David.  You continue to be an influence in my life.

Because of Jesus,

Back to the Beginning

This post originally appeared on August 27, 2009.  In other words, it was post #2.  I thought maybe it was time for a review...

Some of that old New Garden gang, around 1980.

Over my 28 years in youth ministry the number one question I would get from students and their parents was, "How did you get into this anyway?" It's not a short answer, but it's a fairly simple one. I grew up in NC as an only child.  My family was very active in a United Methodist Church until I was around 9 years old.  At that point, their church split over a pastoral change (pastoral changes in Methodist churches have NOT been good to me!) and my parents were caught in the middle. They wound up dropping out of church completely, and really never went back. But that didn't mean they gave up on God.  We still prayed, still read scripture, and still attended Asheboro Friends (Quaker) Meeting whenever we were visiting my maternal grandparents.  My mom's dad, the late Carl Clark, was one of those guys who wasn't doing church right unless he beat the pastor there on Sunday mornings.  He ingrained in me a love of the church- eventually. On the whole I was more than happy to stay home on Sunday mornings and watch Notre Dame football highlights with Lindsey Nelson and Paul Hornung. At this point, sports were my life, especially baseball.  In the summer after 7th grade my new friend Steve Semmler invited me to go to church camp with him at a place called Quaker Lake, but I couldn't because of baseball. Plus, I wasn't ready for the whole "church thing" just yet.

All of that changed once my 8th grade school year started.  Steve kept inviting me to youth at New Garden Friends Meeting, and I kept making excuses not to go.  Finally, in late September of 1972, I relented and went roller skating with the group.  I would love to be able to tell you that Steve's evangelism techniques or a life changing vision from God changed my heart, but the fact is that a girl we'll call Becky (since that was her name!) was going skating too!  And that was all the inspiration I needed. While nothing romantic ever came of my crush on Becky, I was hooked on youth group. I went with them on a couple of trips to the beach and to Sam Levering's apple orchard in VA, and then the following summer I went to Quaker Lake for the first time. I entered high school with the people from that youth group- Steve, Becky, Beth, Tammy, Carl, Lisa, Martha, Andy, Tim, Mary Lynne and others- as the most important people in my lives, and they would remain so for all of my high school years, and for many, beyond. And the youth leaders who shared their lives with us- DB3 and Beth, Louise, and Rob and Barbie- inspired me greatly for the next 30 years.

During those years I also became obsessed with working at Quaker Lake upon graduation.  I volunteered pretty much the entire summer of 1977, and then was hired for summer staff in 1978. Towards the end of the summer a local pastor, David Robinson, came to me and asked me if I would consider being the youth leader at Centre Friends Meeting. It sounded like fun to me, so I said yes.  I had no idea that I had just started down a path that would lead me directly into the service of God and into 28 years of amazing people, places and stories. I was 18 when I led my first youth meeting. I might as well have been Peter stepping out of the boat- I had no idea where I was going or how big the waves were going to be, but Jesus had called me, and I had answered. Bring on the tsunami....

Because of Jesus,